《Miss Americana & The Heartbreak Prince | Sirius Black ✓》21. Superman
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https://medievalhogwartsroleplay.fandom.com/wiki/Room_of_Requirement (lemme know if you know the original creator)
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"Expelliarmus!"
"Serpensortia!"
Sirius and Snape were the first ones to attack. Mulciber's wand went flying out of his hand just as Snape managed to conjure the snake. With a shriek Jones jumped away from Mulciber, backing off at the sight of the reptile that was now creeping towards her.
Without thinking twice, Sirius put himself between Jones and the snake. Pushing her back, he accidentally knocked her off her feet and she tumbled, dragging him down with her.
"Sirius, no!" He shielded himself with his left hand as the snake pounced in time, catching it on his forearm. He cursed under his breath as it stung.
The pain from the bite crept up his arm just as the snake disappeared into nothing.
"Next time you won't be so lucky Mudblood," spat one of the two. Sirius couldn't tell who - he was feeling hazy. Jones was by his side now, supporting him against the wall as the Slytherins sunk back into the darkness of the corridors.
"Are you an idiot or are you an idiot?!" she scowled at him.
"Do you really want me to answer that?" Sirius coughed.
"I believe that was a question of the rhetoric nature, Mister Black," Dumbledore's voice, calm as ever, interrupted them.
Both students turned to look at him instantly relieved.
"Professor! We need to get him to the hospital wing - It was those awful Slytherins-" Kelsey began when Dumbledore raised a hand to stop her.
"Mister Rogers, I trust you'll be able to find your way back to the dorms safely?" he asked the first-year boy they had all forgotten about. The scared boy nodded and ran off into the dimly lit corridor.
"Minerva, if you would kindly ensure his safe passage," Dumbledore looked down at his feet to the black cat who sent him a stern look before trotting off behind the boy nevertheless.
"Now, I believe we have some wounds to tend to. Miss Jones, if you please help Mister Black up to my office?"
"But shouldn't we take him to the hospital wing?"
"I'll send for Poppy. Now come. My office is closest. I believe I have a vial of generic anti-venom somewhere."
Minutes later they were both seated in his office with Madame Pomfrey fussing over Sirius' injured arm.
"Why is it always one of you," the nurse grumbled under her breath as she bandaged up Sirius. She took a moment to shoot a glare at Kelsey who looked down embarrassed. Once she was done patching him up, Dumbledore gave a small nod. She was out of the office just as quickly.
"Now, I am sure tonight's incident is not the first of its kind you two may have faced," Dumbledore spoke.
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Kelsey and Sirius nodded in agreement thinking back to their first day of classes.
"And it won't be the last. I am afraid his followers grow bolder each day," Dumbledore said sadly.
"You mean.." Kelsey looked at him in shock.
"They're one of You-Know-Who's - Death Eaters?" Sirius asked in equal horror. He didn't think You Know Who was taking in followers this young. He realised that his own brother was still 16.
"Dark times will be upon us soon and loyalties will be tested," Dumbledore sent them a tired look. "But it is important to remember who our true friends are and keep them close. Now more than ever," he finished knowingly.
"I trust that will be the last of corridor duels for you two," he looked down at them through his half-moon glasses. Kelsey looked at Sirius who was lost in thought.
"Although a few laughs, prank wars, and whatnot will always have their place. It is the best medicine after all." Was Kelsey imaging the gleam in his eyes? "But that's for another day. Now off you go."
They got up silently. They had a lot to think about.
"Prank wars eh?" Sirius mused still sounding rough as they left his office.
"He's probably betting on one of us," Kelsey joked, drawing a short laugh from him. She studied for a few moments when he remained silent.
"You're thinking if he's one of them," she said quietly.
"I keep thinking: What if he had been in the corridor? What would I have done?" Sirius said looking pensive. Kelsey's heart almost broke for him. She didn't know what it was like to lose a brother.
"I think that you would have helped the boy regardless," she concluded.
"You do?" He was surprised by her faith in him.
"Sirius Black," she sighed, stopping suddenly. She looked just as shaken up about the whole thing. "Over six and a half years, I have realised that you are many things: Infuriating, Pompous, perhaps even a slight Superman complex if today events are any clue-"
"Is there supposed to be a compliment in there?"
"But you were put in Gryffindor for a reason. And looking at you, Potter and Lupin, it's obvious- you do care for those who cannot protect themselves," she shrugged. "Although next time, I'd rather you don't interrupt me when I'm handling things my way. I am a Prefect you know. I can hold my own," she insisted.
Sirius grinned feeling weirdly reassured.
"So this means that if I were to say prank you.." he trailed off. With a roll of her eye, she started putting more distance between them before he could finish that thought. They were almost in the main area of the school halls. "..you'd retaliate?"
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"I have been so far, haven't I?" She smiled at a few students who passed by. It had been a little boring without having Black actively making her life a living hell, oddly enough.
"Splendid."
All of a sudden Kelsey's world was turned upside-down. Literally. Who knew that Sirius Black had mastered non-verbal spells.
"Put me down! Now!" They were right outside the corridor where most students split to go off to their respective dorm rooms.
"Say it with me when the next batch of students make their way through 'Happy Birthday Sirius Black - O Handsome One, Muse of my Dreams, Woo-er of my Heart' he recited. He was waving his wand, holding her hostage upside-down in the air.
"I will literally Hulk Smash you when I'm back on solid ground!" She waved her hands frantically trying to hold her skirt up against gravity.
"That sounds quite kinky but, no thanks," he chuckled.
"Anytime now," he said as if he were bored all of a sudden. It was still barely 7 pm on his birthday. It had been of the or eventful ones indeed. It had even made him forget that Regulus as usual hadn't talked to him today and that horrid scene including one Prongs and Kelpie.
"Black!" she shrieked, her voice echoing the corridor. Upside down, she could see a sea of students making their way back from dinner. The group of students under her froze, at the scene. Probably to take in her choice knickers once again. Why did she have to wear the one with purple hearts on them?
It seemed that she had no other option. With a huff, she began "Happy Birthday Sirius Black - O Handsome One-"
"What're they doing?" Students started whispering again.
"Do you think this is a game?"
A gasp, "You mean the bedroom kind?"
"I mean, they did call her Kinky Kelpie for a bit."
"Sorry, Jones, say that a bit louder would you," Sirius held his free hand up to his ear as the students' gossip tuned her out.
"- Wooer of my Heart, Soon to be dead, May his soul rest in peace," she added her own flair.
With a hearty laugh, he released her and she fell to the ground with a thud. The pain from the snakebite was already fading, replaced by the serotonin rush of watching her squirm and blush.
She groaned clutching her backside in pain. A few students made their way past them.
"You were saying something about that Hulk Smash?" Sirius announced loudly. With murderous intent, she got up.
"What's a Hulk Smash?" Someone else asked.
"Beats me. Never heard of it."
"You don't think it's when the guy gets on top of the girl and.." the gossiping students gasped in shock again. They watched Jones chasing after Black down the corridors, with his laughter ringing.
The Hogwarts students decided that day that it was best to keep their nose out of Sirius Black and Kelpie Jones' unholy inclinations.
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"Have you tried it?" A blushing sixth-year Hufflepuff whispered to her friend on the table a few seats down from Kelsey at breakfast a few days later.
"Tried what?" her friend asked in wonder.
"The Hulk Smash."
"What's that?"
"Apparently it's when your boyfriend.." the rest of the sentence was hushed as the unnamed girl leaned in closer to whisper to her friend who turned red.
"How would one even do that?"
"Beats me. I heard Kinky Kelpie came up with it," the two girls looked in her direction and Kelsey shot daggers back at them. They silently returned to their breakfast.
Kelsey groaned into her cereal.
"Honestly, Kelsey. What has gotten into you these days?" Lily asked her. "And really Hulk Smash?" Kelsey was lucky that she had Lily, a fellow muggle-born, to explain to her friends the 70s nerd reference and the fact that Hulk Smash wasn't some Adult rated bedroom move.
Like with many of her misfortunes at Hogwarts, she only had Sirius Won't-Leave-Me-Alone Black to thank for it.
"It wasn't me Lils! I'm telling you it was him and his stupidity!" she explained. Kelsey and Lily were back on talking terms after she had indeed successfully managed to talk Lily out of being cross with Potter. It was the least she could do for the handsome mint conditioned comic she had been gifted after painstaking blackmail.
"Him as in Sirius Black?" Astrid yawned. This was getting old now.
"Him as in SPAWN OF SATAN!" Kelsey cried pointing a finger at the three boys approaching them.
"Easy, Jones. What's gotten your panties in a bunch?" Sirius asked. Lily spluttered her drink, holding back a laugh.
"You guys are traitors! All of you!" Kelsey pinned Lily and Astrid with a glare and left the Gryffindor table.
"Evans, a word?" James took the seat Jones had just vacated. He sent her one of his best heartwarming smiles.
"Fine. But make it quick," Lily got up and started walking out of the Great Hall. James watched her figure walking, stunned. He had expected more resistance. "Today, James!" she called out without even turning around.
"She called me James!" he whispered excitedly to Astrid, Sirius, and Remus.
"Go!" Astrid ushered him.
James was off grinning like a fool at her heels.
"What do you think that's about?" Sirius said between chewing his food. Remus shrugged noncommittally, lips pressed into a thin line looking tense.
Astrid looked at him confused.
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