"Mister Black!" Minerva McGonagall scolded the young man. Kelsey looked over across the room to see the Professor's pointy hat that now resembled a french beret. Safe to say, at least Transfiguration lessons with the Gryffindors were never boring.

"You were meant to practice the spell as part of your homework! You are supposed to transfigure that book into a French translation not my hat into a beret!" she said.

"My bad Minnie. Although, if I may, it looks fetching. If you would like to know.." his eyes darted to Lily who was sitting next to Kelsey, and he gave her a sly grin. "..something came up, I didn't get a chance to practice as intended last night." Next to him, Potter smacked his friend with a textbook while McGonagall continued with assigning him detention for calling her 'Minnie'.

James looked at Lily and smiled an apology. Lily rolled her eyes with a small smile on her lips.

Kelsey continued practicing the same spell, muttering is as softly as she could under her breath so that only those around her could hear.

Yes, she still sounded like a boy.

Luckily, Lily had cornered Potter and coaxed it out of him. The potion would wear off today, eventually, and her neck would be back to being slender - minus the Adam's Apple. She couldn't wait.

Halfway through waving her wand to cast the spell, Kelsey paused.

"Say, Lils," she nudged her friend. Lily didn't look up from her spell and instead Hmmm-ed her. "Isn't 'Minnie' a little too close to 'Mummy'?" she asked.

"Sure," her friend replied not looking at her. Kelsey didn't think she had been heard.

But the plan was already forming in her mind.

"Mission 'Payback for the Payback' is in motion," she whispered to no one in particular with determination in her eyes.

"Must you really recite your thoughts like that? This isn't a James Bond movie!" said Lily.

"Sure." It was Kelsey's turn to pretend to listen. She shot Sirius a sickly sweet smile as he lazily flicked his wand at the book in front of him.

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"But you're fine!" Astrid and Kelsey were back at it. Astrid was trying to convince Kelsey to not go through with her plans for the sake of her best friend's peace of mind and overall safety.

"Payback's a bitch! Black said it himself. You heard it!"

"You can't be stooping to his level?"

"It's too late," Kelsey crossed her arms.

"It's too evil," Astrid mimicked the action.

"Pfft! It's harmless," Kelsey waved off the concerns.

"Teenagers don't just come back from that! We saw it- In that teen rom-com movie, you made me see two summers ago! Even a Slytherin would take pity on what you're about to do."

"And yet, you love me."

"Fine. Do whatever. I'm off to the library to study with Remus," Astrid grabbed her bag.

It was before dinner. While Kelsey stayed back studying some Charms for her next prank and er- NEWTs as well, Astrid had plans to revise in the library like a proper student.

"Traitor!"

"Excuse me?"

"You're hanging with them now?" Kelsey accused. "And since when is it Remus?!"

"Since around the same time it's been Sirius," Astrid stood at the door daring her friend to make a snarky comment.

"It was the one time!"

"Bye Jones!" her friend was out the door.

ϟ

"Kelsey, don't," Astrid pleaded one last time.

"Oh, so now you speak to me," Kelsey said. She had only been mildly offended at Astrid yesterday. Her pure-hearted best-friend was a gem but she couldn't help pulling her leg a little more.

"Kelsey!"

"I bet you told him all about it on your library date didn't you?" Kelsey crossed her arms and looked away. Her wand was in her hand and she was staring intently at the back of Sirius' head waiting for him to slip up.

"You know I wouldn't Kels. I need more help studying this stuff. And Rem- I mean Lupin was nice enough to offer it."

Kelsey looked impressed at the information. Maybe they all weren't that bad. He did seem to be the one person with some common sense. It was a shame that he was often sick.

Sirius Black had been made to sit at the front where Minerva could keep an eye on him so that he didn't transfigure anymore of the professor's garments.

Ahead of Kelsey, he seemed to be gearing up to make a sarcastic remark about his skills when she saw him press his lips to say an 'M'.

'Confuscious' she whispered under her breath earning an alarmed look from Lily.

Sirius closed his mouth, a little confused.

"Did you just charm him to turn into a muggle Chinese Philosopher?!" the redhead demanded.

"Shush," Kelsey hushed her waiting for him to speak up again. "It's a special kind of Confunding spell. The name is just erm- an unfortunate coincidence; also spelled differently." She kept her eyes straight ahead waiting for Black to speak up again.

Finally, Sirius caught the Professor's eye and beckoned her over. With a heavy I'm-so-done-with-this expression, Minerva McGonagall approached the student.

"Say Professor, my dear Min-Mi-Mummy," Sirius started but he stopped.

There was pin-drop silence.

"Oh no," Lily and Astrid squeaked next to Kelsey.

"Oh yes," Kelsey watched on delightfully.

"Excuse me?!" To say the Professor looked shocked was an understatement.

"Nothing. I said 'Say Professor' and then I stopped. I completely stopped talking!" He slapped a hand over his mouth.

"Did he just say what I think he did?" A Hufflepuff behind Kelsey whispered. Her smile grew bigger.

By now Minerva McGonagall was on the way to resembling a beetroot. A very stiff and displeased looking beetroot.

"Detention! Mister Black! Until the end of this week!"

"But mummy- crap I mean minn-mummy. Fu-arghh!" Sirius was unable to physically say the word 'Minnie'. He took a deep breath. "But Professor! I didn't say it! I swear! It wasn't me. I meant to say your first name. The one that resembles the Muggle Mouse," he pleaded to his horror.

McGonagall, with her cat animagus, looked even more offended.

By now the class around them was rolling in laughter, tears streaming down a few, while Kelsey chortled.

"I will not hesitate to make it a month's worth of detention Mister Black," Professor McGonagall said sternly, a little red in the face.

Remus turned to look at the girls behind them. He raised an eyebrow and Kelsey looked at him smugly. Astrid hid her face in her hands beside her and he chuckled at her reaction. It was cute.

ϟ

"I have to say, Pads. That was a funny one," Remus mused on the way to dinner with his mate that evening.

"My life is over! I'll forever be known as the Mummy boy. Six years of charming and wooing my way destroyed in one afternoon!" he cried in dismay. Sirius Black was also nothing if not just as dramatic as Kelsey Jones.

"Stop being a drama queen. They'll forget it by Friday."

"Yes but the Professor who gave me detention until then won't. I have to sit through the class until next June. It's mid-September Moony. Do the math!"

"Hey Black! Is it true you called McGonagall Mummy ?" Snape called out to them. The boys stopped in their tracks to face the familiar Slytherins.

Sirius groaned.

"I mean..I know you have family issues but it's a bit much don't you think?" Snape continued. Regulus gave him a disgusted look but didn't say anything.

"A bit pathetic don't you think?" he sneered, directing the question at the younger brother.

Sirius had Snape up by the collar against the wall in no time. "Say one more word and I'll give you Mummy and Daddy issues of all kinds Snivellus," Sirius gritted.

"Easy boys," Kelsey called out. Sirius turned to look at her with just as much anger. It was all her fault after all. She faltered a little but approached them nevertheless.

"Pads," Remus said next to him and Sirius let him go.

"Off. The lot of you," she said.

Sirius shoved past her, bumping into her shoulder.

"Sir- Black wait!" She called after him but he didn't stop.

"Yeah, run away Black! With your tail between your legs like a good boy!" The jeering continued. Sirius balled his fists and Remus did his best to drag him away, muttering him to not lose it out here.

Sirius Black spent the rest of the evening brooding. At least until Remus came back from patrol later that night to tell him that he had seen Kelpie Jones hex the Snape and some other Slytherin kid with a Wadiwasi spell under false pretenses during their patrol.

"Just because she's pranking you back, doesn't mean she hates you," Remus explained as if talking to a five-year-old.

"Couldn't care less," Sirius tried to sound casual about it.

"So you say," Remus eyed him.

Sirius turned away and pulled the covers up to fall asleep.

ϟ

Kelsey was pacing around the girls' Gryffindor dorm room a few days later with Mary and Marlene on their beds and Astrid on the floor reading her notes.

"This will not do!" Kelsey declared. The effect of her recent prank was short-lived. Other than the Slytherin kid's hateful comments (something she definitely didn't want) the teasing had been mostly mild. No public jaunts or playful jests had followed. It seemed that Sirius was better at coming up with longer-lasting pranks while hers made but a splash.

"No matter what I do, the pranks only make him more popular with the girls. I swear I heard a girl whisper to Black in the most sultry tone that if he had a mummy kink she'd go along with it!" Kelsey slammed her books on Mary's bed.

She shouldn't have hexed that kid. Sirius seemed to be doing fine on his own. Not that he had even bothered to thank her. He was off snogging girls again.

Here she was: boyfriendless and snog-less. Not even a sneaky hand under the shirt for her.

"Sounds like someone's jealous," Mary sang.

"Puh-leease! If anything, I'm more determined than ever. You know that Confuscious spell helped me earn me an Exceeds Expectations on this week's Special Enchantments Unit in Charms?" Kelsey was proud.

"What's a kink?" Astrid asked innocently.

"Oh sweet Merlin," Mary giggled.

"How have you shared a dorm with her for six years and remained so..pure?" Marlene was shocked.

"My lovely Astrid," Kelsey shook her head and sat down on the floor next to her best friend. They were lucky Lily wasn't present. "Since you asked, let Mama Jones teach you the ways of the world," she said.

She leaned over to Astrid and whispered so that only she could hear. "Next time you're in the library I want you to..."

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