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Chapter One: Boulevard of Broken Glasses.

CRACK!

Oh hell no. Please say I didn't. Oh please not today of all days!

I slowly pick my foot up and squint. Sure enough my favorite pair of glasses lay crushed on the ground. Just like my dreams of ever being cool.

Can you hear that? It's my dreams. They're crying.

"Great!" I groan to myself. "This is just peachy! I can't think of a better way to start the day!" Note the sarcasm.

I guess I can always look on the bright side. It's summer, I have two friends who are both as antisocial as I, and my foot is only bleeding a little.

Yay, positivity…

"Caleb! I heard something breaking! Are you okay?" My mom's panicked voice can be heard through the wall. Yes that's right. My parents' room is right next to mine. I've been begging them to let me move down to the space in the basement, but no. My mom is sacred I'll "fall down the steps". In all honesty I believe she just likes knowing I'm in the room next to her. Safe and sound.

I sigh and gather the pieces of broken glass. I better clean this up before mom- "Oh my god! What happened? Your glasses!"

I freeze.

Great, now she's going to go on this big rant about how I should be more careful. "Mom I'm fine." Of course she doesn't take my word. She then goes on ranting.

Just as I had predicted.

After she finishes I swear her face is blue from lack of oxygen. "I'll go get your other glasses." She flashes a loving smile and walks out of my small room.

"No mom!" I chase after her. "Please! No! Anything but those!" I'd rather die than have to wear my old glasses. The ones I wore back in middle school. Everyone called me four-eyes. So original, right?

I hated it so much.

"Baby you look so cute with them on!" She coos. "Now where did I put them?" She looks around our clean kitchen.

I guess I could go without glasses, if I want to trip over the couch and break my neck. But hey, at least I'll look half descent as I die!

"Can we get new ones?" I ask pouting. Usually when I whip out the puppy eyes mom gives in and gives me what I want. That's one advantage of having a baby face.

"We will later but first I need to talk to you about something." She looks in the junk drawer and her face lights up. "Here they are." She mumbles to herself before handing me my old glasses case. It’s coved in old stickers I put on it all throughout school. They're all peeling off now.

I open up the case and take out the glasses. I cringe as the cheap plastic touches my nose. "What did you need to talk to me about?" Mom almost never has exciting news so I'm expecting the worse.

"Hold on let me get my coffee."

I decide to wait in the living room for mom. I wasn't very hungry so I decided on grabbing an apple.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away.

"Alright sweetheart! Time for the exciting news!" She sits across from me on the deep red arm chair. Before continuing, she takes a sip of coffee. "Remember the Crawford's?" I nod. "Their son Reed is coming to stay with us for the summer! Isn't that great?!"

I haven't seem Reed since I was about five. The only thing I remember is him being terrified of our cat Mittens. But if he's anything like his parents he's going to be a stuck up rich, city kid.

"Why?"

Mom grins. "His parents want him to get a taste of country life! To make him a better man!" I can't believe how excited she sounds. Having Reed here is going to ruin my whole summer. It doesn't help that my older brother Steve is back from college and staying in... the guest room!

"There's no way I'm sharing my room!" I quickly shout. "It's mine!"

Mom waves me off. "Oh you'll be fine! Reed is a charming young man! He's only a few months older than you! It'll be great!"

She obviously doesn't know how the city kids treat the county kids here. Sure I hate everything revolving around country but I live here and that somehow "changes" who I am.

Teenagers are stupid.

"Mom please!" I beg. "I'll do anything! Anything at all!" My room is the one place I can have privacy! "Can he sleep in the basement?"

Mom shakes her head. "Caleb! We are not putting our guest in the basement! We're going to put the air mattress in your room!" She better not be planning on me sleeping on that crappy thing. It’s bad enough I have to share my room! There’s no way I’m giving up my bed. I’ve slept on it so long it has molded to my body. I’m not letting Reed come and mess it up. I have a hard enough time falling asleep anyways.

“Fine. He can share the room but if he snores I’m kicking him out.” Harsh, I know. I’m just that bad ass.

“Oh you will not!” Mom gives me a stern look. A look I ignore. “He is sleeping there!”

“Buuuuut mooom!” I whine. “You know I’m a light sleeper.”

“It’s summer. You don’t have to go to bed at nine sweetie.” She leans over and pats my back. “You're sixteen now.”

My cheeks flush in embarrassment. “I don’t go to bed at nine…”

Mom’s jaw drops. “Caleb! I do not want to hear that! If you wish to discuss such vulgar things talk to your sweet friend Ethan. Or Steve.”

My eyes widen. She thinks I’m talking about, about- Oh dear god! “Mom no, I didn’t mean-“

“I know. You’re a teenage boy. You do that sort of thing.” She scrunches up her nose.

God this is not how I want to spend my morning. “Mom I-“

“Maybe you can just tell your father and me when you’re wanting privacy. I don’t want to accidently walk in on that.”

Okay so this is how I’m going to die. Talking to my mother about jacking off. I’m going to die from embarrassment. This is even worse than the time I fell down a whole flight of stairs. Two weeks ago. It wouldn’t have been so bad if I wouldn’t have landed on Lisa. I got two detentions, a black eye, and lost my chance with the cutes girl in the school (not that I had a chance in the first place).

And now I’m talking to my mother about masturbation.

Welcome to hell.

Population me.