Sorry this update took so long! (But it's over 10,000 words so hopefully it was worth it.) This chapter is about 4% plot and 98% ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. Enjoy!

And tell me, did you sail across the sun?

Did you make it to the Milky Way to see the lights all faded

And that heaven is overrated?

And tell me, did you fall for a shooting star,

One without a permanent scar?

And did you miss me while you were looking for yourself?

-Train

Life is a give and take. It took me a long time to realize that. There's a cosmic balance to the world, pulling the strings of fate and pushing the tides that bring people together, forming the lives we live with unfathomable precision.

The universe gave me Hinata. It gave me Suga, Natsu, Kenma and all of the others. It gave me the one thing I thought I'd never deserve; friends. But with that gift comes a payment.

I need to be wiser, kinder, I need to accept more and deny less. I need to open up and embrace this life I never knew I needed but is now the only thing I want.

I need to reconnect and resurrect the things I've broken with my own naivety and clenched fists. I need to piece my gifts back together, but first I have to fix myself.

My salvation comes in the form of a text message.

The old me would frown at the name Natsu entered for herself in my phone and not bother to respond, but I'm turning over a new leaf. I'm going to try my hardest to keep the things that are important to me and this sassy teenage girl is definitely one of them, not matter how much I loathe admitting it.

I'm already out, leaning against the brick wall of some indeterminate building in a long line of similar bleak structures along the street. I slept awfully last night, tossing and turning for hours after my conversation with Suga at the playground, the lightly falling snow outside my window doing little to calm my nerves. I left early this morning, bundling up against the chill of mid December and heading out to clear my head with a lungful of icy air underneath the vast expanse of steel gray sky.

When I turn the corner next to the cafe around fifteen minutes later (I didn't realize how far I'd wandered or how long it would take to find my way back) I see Natsu through the window, already seated. Her tiny hands are curled around a mug of hot cocoa, warming them as she gently blows the steam, and I can feel a warmth spreading through my chest that I'd usually beat down and hide away, but now I let it fill me. How did she manage to burrow herself so far into my heart without my noticing? She looks up as I near the door, waving through the window with bright eyes and a sweet smile.

Hinata is like a sunflower; bright and delicately beautiful, pulling you in with the promise of warmth and never disappointing. But Natsu is like a flame; just as bright, just as beautiful, but with a sharp edge that can burn you to ashes at any moment, yet you're drawn like a moth and you'd rather catch fire than miss her flickering light.

I order my coffee from an annoyed looking blond employee and sit down, neither of us speaking for a moment, and I don't even lift my head to meet her eyes.

"Listen-,"

"I'm really-,"

My head whips up as we both snap our mouths shut, expecting the other to continue.

"Go ahead," I mumble, squeezing my fist nervously around the handle of my mug, my urge to close myself off and hide growing with every second. No, I'm not doing this again. I'm going to be braver from now on. No more tucking tail to run.

"No, you start," she says, steady and so much more than I ever could have been at her age. So much more than I am now. I nod and unclench my hand, taking a deep steadying breath.

"I'm really sorry. I shouldn't have burst in like that and put you guys in an awkward situation with Shimizu. I should've left when you told me to," I stop, looking up at Natsu, her eyes trained on the worn table top. "And none it would've happened if I hadn't run away in the first place. I was so stupid and I almost ruined everything."

She looks up, a calculating look in her eyes that would usually scare me. "What happened anyway? Shouyou never really told me the details."

"He showed me a painting. A painting of me."

"And you ran?" She asks, making me flinch.

"Essentially. There was more to it though," I tell her, fighting down the part of me that wants to curl up inside of myself and never speak again. "I...I'm colorblind. His painting looked all muddy and I felt awful. He was so proud. I don't know why I couldn't just tell him, but I panicked. I guess I just didn't want to let him down. But I ended up hurting him so much more."

Natsu sips at her cocoa, thinking carefully about her words before saying them, and the suspense tears me up inside. "He's not hurt. Well he was at first, really hurt. Especially after you didn't answer your door."

"I thought I imagined that," I confess, dropping my head onto the table with a loud bang.

"You're an idiot, Kageyama." Her words aren't malicious, but they're completely true. I'm the biggest idiot on the face of the earth.

"He's worried about you mostly," she continues. "He was worried that you were punishing yourself for something, but he had no idea what it was or how to help."

"He's not wrong," I mutter, pushing away my now cold coffee mug and running my free hand down my face. "He shouldn't worry about me."

"Well he does," Natsu snaps, setting down her empty mug and crossing her arms over her chest. "My brother cares about you a lot. And I know you care about him too."

I nod, seeing no use in arguing, and she continues. "There are just things he isn't really ready to share. That's why he looked so scared when Shimizu showed up."

"I know who she is. She worked with a friend of mine a long time ago. He doesn't have to explain anything to me if he doesn't want to," I tell her, sitting up a bit straighter and trying to convey a serious demeanor.

"That's a conversation you can have with Shouyou," she nods, waving off the statement. "Listen, he has his secrets but some of them are both of ours. I figure you deserve a little bit of truth after everything."

"Natsu, you don't have to-"

"Shush," she interrupts, holding up one finger with chipped blue nail polish. "Just listen, okay?"

I nod, an uneasy feeling creeping its way up my chest. She takes a deep breath before continuing, pulling at one of her ginger pigtails absentmindedly.

"I don't remember a lot, I was only a baby when everything happened, but I know enough. Shouyou and I lived with our dad when we were younger, but he was less than a good person. There were a lot of unsafe things going on in our house and our dad wasn't very good at taking care of us, and eventually the authorities were brought in," she frowns, the memories probably burning in her throat the same way mine always do. "Kiyoko was the worker who took us away, and ever since then our Uncle Ittetsu has taken care of us. She comes to check on us every once in a while, especially since Shouyou moved to the city.

Kenma lived next door so he and Shouyou have been friends ever since. And then along came Kuroo and Bokuto and we had a happy little family," she pauses, shooting me a coy smile despite the ghosts that are swimming in her eyes. "And now we have you too."

"I'm sorry," I say, choking out the only thing I can think while I try to navigate the whirlwind of emotions in my head.

"Don't be," she retorts, sounding so much steadier than me even though she's the one with an actual excuse to be upset. "We aren't children looking for sympathy. We're just people learning to grow past our struggles and better ourselves."

"Did you know that you're incredible?" I blurt out, not thinking before speaking, my cheeks flaring up red hot.

"I try," she giggles, running her fingers through her hair again. "Just be patient with my brother, okay?"

"I promise."

"Good. I'm going to hold you to that." She stands, grabbing her scarf and coat, reapplying all of her layers to survive the freezing air outside. "I have school tomorrow so I have to head back home."

I walk her out and down the snowy sidewalk until we near the train station that will take her back to her Uncle's house outside of town.

"See ya next weekend, Kageyama," she waves, turning to head inside the station but I catch her arm before she gets too far and wrap her in a hug. It's strange for me, I usually hate hugs except from Suga when he forces me into them (I'll never admit it out loud until I'm cold in the ground), but tiny Natsu fits so well against my chest. She's warm and her hair smells like strawberries, and I try to convey everything I can't articulate into words to her through the beating of my heart on her ear.

"Thank you," I whisper, letting her go and forcing a shaky smile.

"Don't mention it. Just no more running away okay?" She waves again and turns on her heel up the frozen path.

No more running away. I can do that. I have to do that.

The snow that falls at my feet now is so much different than that of last night. Last night's snowflakes were questions, unspoken words that ate me alive until there was nothing left but a raw beating heart exposed to everything the world wanted to throw my way. But now the falling white flakes are opportunities. They're wishes, dreams of better days. Pieces of ice that are so much like falling stars, promising growth and a hope for the future.

***

With one humongous fuck up cleared from my mental laundry list I move on to the next objective; Hinata. As I find myself stationed in front of his door for the millionth time there's a sour taste in my mouth, every memory, every emotion I've felt in this exact spot melting over my tongue and pumping clumsily through my veins.

I stand there for a few minutes, unsure if Hinata's "if the door is unlocked come in" rule still applies to me and taking the time to steady my lungs and calm my fluttering heart.

I'm here to fix things. I'm here to stitch back together the pieces of a broken dream using the strength of my newfound bravery and I am not going to fuck this up.

I push the door open before I lose my determination.

Hinata is sat behind the easel underneath the window on the far wall of the apartment, a paintbrush poised in one hand and a look of concentration on his face. His fingers curve so delicately around the brush handle, his fingertips stained with color, splotches here and there on his pale skin.

He's like a living painting, artwork in human form, and I'd like to personally thank the artist responsible.

He looks up as I approach, eyes widening with what I tell myself is surprise because anything else would probably cripple me here and now. He stands, setting his brush down on the easel and steps a bit closer, but not too close, looking up at me through those long eyelashes just a few shades darker than his hair.

"Hey," he breathes, feather light and almost indistinguishable from the soft sound of air passing between his slightly parted lips.

"Hey," I return, looking down at my shoes and anywhere else that isn't his piercingly curious gaze with walls set up ever so slightly behind them. I card my hand through my hair, giving me some time to gather the words I want to say.

"I was an ass," I start, using my hands instead of my mouth because I don't want to hear the quiver in my own voice. "I reacted really poorly. I should've just explained but I got too nervous, too scared. I made a mess of things and I'm-,"

Hinata cuts me off, placing his warm palm over my fumbling fingers. He looks up, meeting my eyes and smiles. It isn't a full smile, not the radiant sunbeam that can melt the polar ice caps that I'm used to, but it's a smile all the same, and I'll take anything I can get right now.

He lifts one paint stained finger to his lips, signaling for me to be quiet and leaving a line of color against the soft pink flesh. As he lowers his hand he asks "How about we just start over?"

Have you ever been so relieved that your breath catches and you have to mentally will your knees not to give out beneath you? That's me, my bottom lip pulled between my teeth and fists clenched so hard I can feel nails digging into my palm, trying not to let the prickling in the corners of my eyes to progress any farther as I nod. Yes. Yes. A million times yes.

There are no stories told, no questions answered, but for now that's enough. For now that's perfect.

Hinata smiles and cocks his head to the side, hair bouncing up and down with a new spring to it and I swear the room around me brightens a few shades. That swipe of paint is still sitting on his lips and without thinking I reach out so wipe it away, pressing my hand against his jaw and sliding my thumb across the skin.

The warmth feels amazingly good juxtaposed with my fingers, still chilled from the winter air outside. I linger longer than I mean to, engrossed in the pillowy softness I never imagined could exist. When I look away I find Hinata looking up at me through hooded eyes, a sort of acceptance I'm his gaze that could easily be seen as an invitation.

Or maybe it is an invitation. I move my thumb back to where my other fingers rest against his jaw line, and I wonder if maybe paint doesn't taste too awful. Before I can stop myself I start to lean forward, inches away from that sweet caress of angel's wings when I hear two familiar voices shouting in the hallway.

I pull back just as the front door slams open and Dumb and Dumber make their grand entrance, louder and more obnoxious than ever before.

"Hey little bro!" Bokuto shouts, vaulting over the arm of the sofa and landing on the cushions, his legs bent over the other side. Hinata and I spring apart, heat radiating across my chest and all the way to the tips of my ears.

"Yo it's Kags!" Kuroo calls, taking a seat much more casually on the recliner and tossing a pillow at the back of Bokuto's head.

"H-hey guys," I stutter, not bothering to correct the awful nickname since I'm currently the color of a tomato and not in a position to argue with a spiky haired moron.

"Hey!" Hinata chirps, no sign of distress anywhere on his face. That little bastard.

"Woah Kags, you look a little sunburned. You okay bro?" Kuroo asks, a wicked glint in his eyes that makes me suspect he's much more clever than I pegged him to be.

"I saw on TV that you can get a sunburn from skiing. Did you go skiing?" Bokuto perks up, his gold eyes bright and curious.

"I'm fine," I growl, "it's just a little warm in here."

"Do you want me to turn off the heater?" Hinata asks, looking half concerned and half like he's trying his hardest not to laugh at me. I shake my head, glaring at him in a way that conveys both my want to strangle him and my need to never ever speak of what just happened again.

"Hey lil bro we came to ask a question," Kuroo calls, and I have to point Hinata in his direction because he seems to still forget that Hinata can't fucking hear.

"Thanks bro," he says before turning to Hinata. "Hey when does Natsu get out of school for winter break?"

"I think the twentieth," Hinata answers. "Why?"

"We're going on an adventure!" Bokuto shouts, throwing his hands up in the air and accidentally banging his knuckles on the side of the coffee table. "Ow!"

"We wanna take a trip to Disneyland for Christmas. You, me, lil sis, Bo, and Kenma. You down?"

Hinata's eyes light up and he starts to practically bounce up and down as he agrees. But just as quickly as he started he stops, looking at Kuroo and pointing at me.

"Huh? Oh yeah Kags can come too. The more the merrier!" He smiles, winking at me in a way that would definitely piss me off if I wasn't distracted by Hinata's bouncing.

"You wanna come?" He looks at me expectantly, and there's honestly no way I can turn him down.

"Sure," I shrug, watching as he starts to skip around the room again.

He settles on the end of the sofa where Bokuto is still holding his bruised fist and starts to sign in a whirlwind of excitement.

I turn back to Kuroo who smirks at me, that same knowing look in his eyes that I'm getting extremely tired of seeing on everybody I talk to.

"Hey is it alright if I invite a few people?" I ask, thinking that Suga would be ecstatic to have a chance to go on a trip with Daichi and even Oikawa shouldn't be left alone on Christmas.

"Yeah bro! Invite the whole town!"

"Cool," I nod, sitting down on the floor on the other side of the coffee table.

I never thought I'd say it but an adventure with these two doesn't seem all that bad. I watch as Hinata and Bokuto talk excitedly about this ride and that attraction and how many treats they're going to eat, and I fall into an easy conversation with Kuroo. It feels so natural to be here, just sitting and talking with friends, and it's as if the last three weeks never happened.

It's odd how Hinata only had to say a few words to stitch me back together then I thought my entire world was coming undone.

***

The term "walking on air" has never made much sense to me. Do people like the feeling of floating? Does it feel nice to have nothing solid beneath your shoes when you take a step? It sounds inconvenient if you ask me.

Then again, in the last two weeks between making up with Hinata and Natsu being released for winter break, I think the idiom has really started to make sense.

Nothing really changed, but to be honest that's what made it so special. Pizza nights happened as usual, the Hinata siblings still loved their cheesy movie sessions, and I even started meeting with Asahi again; but every encounter felt much more precious. I somehow managed to gain these things back and I never want to lose them again.

When December 21st finally rolls around there's an electric buzz in the air that even makes me (Mr. Grumpy, according to Suga) excited. There's a warmth to the conversation despite the lightly falling snow as Suga, Oikawa, Hinata and I stand outside of Suga's apartment building with our luggage, waiting for Daichi to pick us up and drive to the train station to meet the others. It's early, and we're all freezing, but there's a bright smile on every face and a spring in every step.

"Hey Kageyama," Suga chirps, pulling his thick scarf away from his mouth so he can speak. "Want to do anything special in the park tomorrow?"

"For what?"

"Your birthday! Did you forget?" He laughs, patting me on the shoulder.

"Oh. Yeah I guess I did. I'd rather not do anything," I tell him, looking over to where Hinata is chatting to Oikawa brightly. They only met today but they seem to be getting along fine. I'm not sure how much I like that.

"Aww come on. When are you going to spend your birthday in Disneyland again?" Suga has always been more excited about this sort of thing than me so usually I let him bake a cake and decorate however he wants while I pretend to enjoy it, but the idea of being the center of attention in such a large group makes me uneasy.