in a perfect world

who would I be?

would I be holding the small Angel that keeps me afloat every night?

that reminds me that there's something to live for?

would I finally be in your arms, kissing your lips and moaning into your mouth the way I dream about every night ever since you slipped away?

i wonder how deep my roots would dig into the ground. if I'd be able to stand on my own with a backbone instead of hiding behind the Angel wings of others that turned out to be the back of demons disguised as something so sweet.

or if they would've still ripped me apart and dug themselves inside of my soil and forced me to give birth to the snakes that symbolize the innocence that they took away from me.

would I be medusas blind lover instead of becoming her product of destruction because of someone else's desires that weren't aligned with my ten year old body?

I just wonder. if a perfect world even exists outside of this treachery. outside of this hell that stands before me and wakes me up every day with the voices of shame filling my mind from the moment my eyes open.

A.