I wake up to numbness, realizing that I somehow fell asleep. My heart is beating in my chest, the blood is coursing through my veins and I breathe every now and then, but I feel... empty.

I barely even feel Nick's arms that are secured around my waist, let alone caring about it.

Nick is here, not even an inch away from me, but it still feels like I'm miles away.

I still feel absent, like if I'm dreaming.

Am I?

I don't know, it's like if I can't make out the lines in the outskirt of my eyes, it's a blur, but a little voice in the back of my head is telling me that it's reality. I don't listen.

I've never taken any drugs, but maybe this is how it feels to be high?

Normally I would've been frustrated because I can't even remember all of the yesterday's events, all my mind is making up as I think about it is a picture of water and a feeling of panic.

It felt like I drowned, but I didn't, I think.

Nick pulled me back up, but he also pulled me down.

Just thinking about him brings back the picture of water and feeling of panic, and I feel the fear and panic hitching up my throat, suffocating me.

My eyes start to water as the panic takes over, and my breathing gets heavier and quickens up a pace.

I grip the hem of the shirt I'm wearing, not noticing it's a different one than yesterday, and a whimpering sound escapes my lips and my body start to shake uncontrollably.

My arms are secured around her small body, my chest bare and my body heat radiating off to her.

I never left her side since she finally managed to fall asleep yesterday. I did change her shirt, though. I don't know if it's good to fall asleep once you're in shock or not, but she looked so peaceful that I didn't want to wake her up again, but the shirt's another story.

Yes, I did shake her up pretty badly, but I don't want her to get in such a bad state of shock that I can't reach her at all, but I think I might have failed at that part.

I suddenly feel her body stiffen and then start to shake uncontrollably as she whimpers. I sit up straight in the speed of light and start to roughly shake her by her shoulders.

"Alex!" I whisper-shout but raise my voice as she doesn't reply. "Alex! Alex, Alex, Alex!"

Still, no response. Just whimpering sounds and non-stop shaking.

I curse, worried and frustrated, and raise my hand and slap her on her cheek, hard.

She flinches at the pain and everything goes dead silent. She stops whimpering and shaking, and I sigh in relief, glad that it worked.

My legs are on either side of her waist and I lean in closer to her, resting my weight on one of my elbows, and lift up her chin and force her to look at me.

The icing blue eyes I meet almost look alien to me.

At first, I can't make out any feeling at all in her oh so beautiful eyes, but then I catch a glimpse of something that I know by far too well.

Fear.

"You don't have to be afraid of me", I whisper in her ear soothingly, "You haven't realized it yet, but I care for you, Alexandra", I say and uses her full name for a change. I leave a kiss on her forehead and mumble against her soft skin. "I care for you very much."

Unlike the normal Alex, I've learned to know and like, she doesn't move away or flinch the slightest. It's like she's turned off her emotions and I guess I should be happy for it.

"C'mon, we might as well get up since we're both awake anyway." I get off of her and walk to my closet and quickly change, it's not like she's watching me. Not that I mind if she would've.

"You coming?" I ask as I'm done and she still hasn't moved from her spot on the bed. It's like talking to a wall. She doesn't reply and I sigh heavily and scoop her up in my arms, carrying her out of my room bridal style.

I thought about changing her clothes but then turned town the thought as I figured it wouldn't be fair. I won't take advantage of her like that and especially not when she's still shocked and won't fight back the slightest.

I enter the kitchen and am welcomed by a strong smell of fried bacon.

"Someone seems to be in a happy mood", Zeke laughs from one of the barstools at the island, pointing at Alex with a mug of coffee.

I scoff in response and sit down on the stool on the opposite side of the island, placing my girl on my lap.

"Where's everyone else?" I ask as I look through the kitchen. No one else here.

"Getting ready", Zeke sneers, "I would've told you yesterday but you seemed to be too busy, but we've changed the plans a bit."

I furrow my eyebrows together. Today's the day we'll going to the black market to get rid of Aubrey.

"We're taking the girls with us", Zeke says and I tighten my grip on Alex.

"Why?"

Zeke chuckles quietly at my reaction.

"Relax, we won't sell her", he points at Alex again, "but we figured out that it would to them good to see what will happen if their parents don't pay and we don't want them anymore."

I roll my eyes, despite the serious in the situation.

"Tell me the real reason", I say with my jaw clenched, knowing that what Zeke just said can't be the only argument.

Zeke takes a sip of the coffee in his mug before answering.

"We don't trust Peter. As you know, the police have him under questioning and we don't know if he'd told them about this place. Leaving the girls here, it doesn't matter if someone's here to watch them or not, is a big risk. The police might as well be lurking in the bushes outside by now and waiting for the right time to strike when we have our guards down. You know it, Nick. We all know it."

I nod slowly. We've discussed this not long ago and we've been contemplating on whether or not we should move. We all voted on moving to our other house hours and hours from here, and we've decided to get out off here as soon as we've gotten rid of the girls, one way or another - which means through the ransom money or the black market.

We know for a fact that Peter can't have spilled the secret about the black market at least because we settled the date when he was no longer present.

Zeke empties the last in his cup and stands up. "We're leaving in an hour", he says before walking out of the room after putting the cup in the sink, hoping it would somehow wash itself.

I look at Alex, who is out of the window without focusing her eyes on anything particular.

Knowing I can't get her to eat anything, I empty the rest of the bacon that's left in the frying pan and fix myself something to eat. I'm not in the mood for forcing food down her throat.

I thought the hour I had left to kill would feel like an eternity, but the minutes passed by surprisingly fast and in what felt like no time, I stood in front of one of our cars, getting into the passenger seat with Alex still in my arms.

Luckily for me, Aubrey and the other girls sat in another car with Vince and Kirk. I don't think I would've been able to put up with her screams and cries.

Zeke starts the car which gives out a roaring sound before we roll down the road and out through the gates. I press my lips against Alex's cheek and rest my chin on top of her head.