I started sending some of my things on the new apartment that I got so that it’ll be easier for me to move right away once Tori give birth. According to her OB, she’ll give birth on the first week of February. As I arrived at the house from my apartment, Tori opened the door for me and kissed me hello.

“I hate that you’re moving after I give birth.” She said walking down to the kitchen as I tail her off.

“I told you. Once I get my own apartment I’ll move out.” I replied. “But don’t worry, I’ll visit you here all the time. You know how excited I am to meet Baby Andrea.”

Tori already told me about her baby’s name which is Andrea, combination of her name and Anders.

“What did Mat say?” She asked which caught my attention.

It’s almost a week passed since the incident on the bar happened. To be honest, I am so disappointed on him! I thought he will tell me about what happened and explain to me as to why that happened but he didn’t. Instead, Mat just texts and calls me like it’s as if nothing has happened. I don’t want to be the one who will address the elephant in the room, I want him to be the one who will do it. If he’s really concerned about me and loves me, he will admit what he did without me asking for it. But unfortunately, he didn’t bothered himself from doing it.

Thank god, he’s in Tampa right now and won’t be home for another week due to some All-Stars media day whatsoever or else I’ll just melt down in front of him. A time away from him is really good actually in order for me to gather enough strength to deal the issue with him once he gets back.

“What about him?” I stupidly asked opening the fridge to grab some water.

“He’s your boyfriend. He supposed to know that you’re moving.” Tori replied.

“Well—I haven’t told him yet.” I said calmly.

“When will you tell him then?” She asked. “Right when he gets home? Or right when you have already moved out?”

I haven’t told anyone about what happened few weeks ago, I literally just kept it to myself and it is completely heavy. So I released a sigh deciding to spill the beans to Tori since she is my cousin, my bestfriend and a big sister to me. For sure the first person that I really need to talk to right now is literally her.

“Can I tell you something?” I begin as I grab a chair to seat on.

“Are you guys having problems?” Tori suspected.

“Something like that.” I said and told her about what happened that night. Tori was surprised about it and even commented that Pauline must be really into Mat. “Why didn’t you tell Mat?”

“Because I was waiting for him to confess it to me.” I replied in complete frustration. “If he loves me, or just concerned to me he’ll tell me. But no, he didn’t.”

“Maybe he just wants to tell it to you personally?”

“I don’t know. I’m not sure about this anymore.” I said putting my palms on my face.

“Jade, Barzy is a great guy.” Tori started as she puts her hands on my back and rubbed it. “For sure there’s a reason behind that incident. Hear him first right before you do any drastic decisions.”

I sighed and stared on my cousin’s blue eyes. “God! How will I live without you?”

Tori giggled and hugged me. “Let’s go cook some lunch!”

After we ate our lunch, I head straight to my room and packed the rest of my stuff right before taking a quick nap. When I woke up, my head is pretty clear already I grab my phone again to see Mat’s text.

Mat: I’m omw to Edmonton for the All-stars media tour. Can’t wait to cuddle ya! Imissyou. xx

Shit! Why does he still won’t tell me about him and Pauline? He’s fucking me up every day! I don’t know why I became the one who loses courage to ask him about Pauline. He should be the one who has the right to feel this and not me.

Is this because no matter how I try to tell myself that Mat isn’t good for me, I still don’t want to lose him? Or is it because I’m afraid that Mat will chose Pauline over me.

“Urgh!” I groaned throwing the phone away as I drop my back down to my bed because of frustration.

-

Jade has been indeed avoiding and ignoring my texts not just days but the whole weeks that I am not at home. She’s been playing it off like she’s busy with work but she’s already been busy with work ever since we started dating. Before she always have time to text me or give me a call every now and then, we always talk over the phone every after my game when I am away but no, she has never done that anymore.

I have a great feeling that there’s something up. I have a feeling that she knows about me and Pauline. So I decided to make an excuse to ditch the whole NHL media tour. I made it to Edmonton two days ago and I haven’t done all of my interviews yet, however, I’m already desperate enough to talk to my girlfriend and so I made a dick move lying to my PR that I have an emergency back in Vancouver, but the truth is I’m going back to New York.

It’s Saturday evening and I’m sure that Jade is home enjoying a relaxing weekend.

I didn’t texted her that I was going home because she’ll surely do some excuse to avoid me or maybe go to Collins house or wherever maybe. I entered the house and surprised Tori and Anders on the living room.

“Barzy!” Anders greeted completely surprised. “Why are you home? I thought NHL media tour won’t be over until next week.”

Instead of answering him I just asked him a question. “Is Jade home?”

“Yeah. She’s on her room.” Tori answered.

Anders was about to ask me a question but Tori stopped him. Shit! There’s really something going on because if there’s not Tori won’t do that. Tori is Jade’s cousin and I definitely know that she’s the first person she calls in terms of problems.

I immediately went straight to my room and dropped all my things behind and knocked at Jade’s door. She was even surprised when she saw me standing outside.

“Hi.”

“What are you doing home? Are you supposed to be doing the NHL media tour?” She asked.

“I went home to talk to you.”

“Can you just at least do that over the phone?” She replied. “Di—did you cancelled all your interviews?”

“Pretty much.”

“Are you serious? Mathew why did you do that?”

“Because you’ve been ignoring me!” I snapped in complete frustration. “Now I did all that! Went home, just so we could talk.”

She stared at me for completely ten seconds right before sighing.

“What’s going on?”

“Seriously Mat? You’re gonna act like you don’t know what the hell is going on?” She finally snapped.

I just stared on her. I know what the hell is going on but I can’t utter any single word because I’m scared. I’m scared as shit!

I heard her sigh and tears starts to fall on her eyes. “Why did you do that? Am I not enough for you? Am I just a joke to you?”

“Baby…” I finally found my voice as I closed the gap between us. I tried hugging her but she just pushed me away. I keep on insisting to do it. “…that is not true Jade. I love you.”

“Then why?” She demanded finally pushing me away real hard this time. “Why did you kissed her? Why did you cheated on me?”

“I didn’t cheat on you! That was an accident.” I explained. “She was drunk. That kiss didn’t even longed for five seconds. I pushed her right away when she kissed me out of nowhere—she even apologized for doing it Jade, I can show you all the messages she sent to me.”

“So you guys still talk to each other?” She asked.

I hesitated. “No, but—she has my number and—“

“Just shut up.” She said in a lower tone right now sighing but I can still see the flood of tears in her eyes.

She was just silent for whole fucking minute that makes me even more frustrated and afraid that she’ll break up with me. “Jade…”

“Let’s just end this.”

Holy shit. She’s really breaking up with me.

I only stared on her because even if part of me have already expected this to happen, those words came out from her mouth just sent billion jolts of pain in my chest.

I’m devastated as fuck!

“Please don’t.” I said and my voice finally cracks, I didn’t even noticed that a goddamn droplets of water just came out from my eyes.

“It’s better this way.”

And so with that, Jade shuts the door on her room leaving me behind with a fucking broken heart.