I feel so guilty bailing on my boyfriend, but at the same time Collins do need me tonight. It would be so unfair if I cancel on him, he was there with me when I overreacted about Mathew few months ago so right now, it's time for me to return the favor.

When I arrived on his apartment, he's curled up on his couch watching the BigBang Theory but he obviously doesn't pay too much attention to it. He was just there staring at the TV screen without blinking. He must have been really hurt about Alex.

Yeah, the guy he brought with him when we went to New Jersey for the Islanders game.

"Hey girl." I greeted seating next to him.

"Jade, what are you doing here? I thought you're going on a night out with your man."

"I bailed on him." I said and touched his shoulders. "You need me here."

"No I don't." He disagreed looking at me. "Okay yeah, I do."

I reached for him and gave him a tight hug. My best friend might love to sleep around, hangout with different guys all the time but he easily falls. Just like me! We're really are best friends.

He is sobbing on my shoulders as we watch the TV show in front of us and laughs at some funny scenes. We stayed on that position for long when he finally decided to get up.

"Girl I need to let lose." He suggested. "It's been days since I sulk over Alex up on this couch, I need to get out. Let's go grab some dinner later and hit a bar or something."

"That's a great idea." I said right away supporting him on that, since that is actually the number one advice I thought about giving to him. "Now go take a shower! You already stink."

Collins jumped off from the couch in just millisecond to head to his room.

Few moments later, we went downtown look for a nice place to eat. As per usual, Collins is fund of eating at new opened fancy restaurants and ultimate dé javu! Except that tonight, I feel worst because I am on my airport outfit. I'm only sporting a yoga pants white shirt and bomber jacket, my usual outfit out of work.

"I definitely look like I am just grabbing some breakfast out in here!" I announced when Collins finally settled on our seat. Thank goodness we're at the far end corner of the restaurant. "Why are you so fund of eating at fancy restaurants?"

"I just like it." He said reading at the menu handed by the waitress that I didn't even noticed. Collins is just wearing a shirt and some plain shorts but despite of how simple his outfit is, he still looks expensive. Hence, the huge Gucci printed on it and a Hermes bag.

"Girl stop caring about people has to say, alright?" He said placing the menu back on the table. "This is a free country, wear whatever the heck you want. If they don't approve of it, so what? At least you're comfortable."

True. How I wish I get to apply that on myself right away, but I just can't. I still do feel like an idiot in here, I don't know why!

Fuck my mentality.

I released a loud sigh to calm myself, in order for me to remind myself that it is not about me tonight. This is all about Collins, the guy is heartbroken, and he's the one who needs to be taken care off tonight.

"What?" He asked when he noticed me staring at him as he drink the glass of water served by the waiter earlier.

"Just wondering why you haven't spill all the teas yet." I started drinking the glass of water in front of me too. I received a text from Collins two days ago when I was still in Vermont, telling me that everything about him and Collins are already over. No explanations as to why and such, he just cried and then that's just it.

"Stop bottling all those and let it all out." I added. "Come on spill it."

Collins just sighed eyeing me just in time our dinner arrived. I waited for him to start opening up as I devour the steak in front of me.

"Alright Jadey." He finally started couple of minutes after. "There's nothing to spill, really."

"There is. You just cried on my shoulder a while ago, may I remind you." I replied dropping the knife and fork and drink the glass of champagne. "Come on what happened."

Collins sighed again. "He's getting married."

"What do you mean he's getting married?"

"He is already engaged when we first met. To a girl, if you must know."

"What?"

"I know. He's gay and he happens to be on an arranged marriage and been hiding his real identity for so long." Collins explained which made me feel horror about it. "And we met, had the best days of our lives and then went back to reality after that."

"Holy cow! I can't believe that kind of situation happens in real life!"

"It just did!" Collins supplied. "So that's why I really don't want to deal with it because I have nothing else to do anymore. He's getting married and that's it."

I sighed. "I'm sorry."

"Oh don't be." He replied. "Now let's eat our dinner fast and hit the bar. I want to see cutesy boys and maybe bag someone later."

"You really are a whore." I commented chuckling.

"I know!" Collins said giggling. One thing about him? He is so positive that he always see the positive side of every turmoil that goes around him. I admire him for that!

"So, you're okay?"

"No. But I will be fine. You know what Jade, why don't we just go to Seidenberg's house?" Collins suggested. "I want to get surrounded with hockey players and besides you did me a nice favor tonight so I'm paying you back."

"That's a nice idea." I said since I felt guilty about bailing on Mat tonight so why not. "I gotta go text Tori and Mat."

I fished my phone out of my bag and throw Mat and Tori a text that I am going to the party with Collins, Tori immediately replied to my text informing me that the small dinner are already over and they are already on their way home.

"Hey, Tori said that Mat and the rest of his teammates went to the Irish Pub." I told Collins. "Do you mind if we go there?"

"Of course! Since when did I pass a party and being surrounded with hot hockey players?" He said standing up. "Come on! It's just five minutes away from here."

Few minutes later, Collins and I entered the said pub where the team is hanging out. I am trying to call Mathew for a couple of times now but he doesn't answer his phone. If the team chills at one of the VIP lounges in here I don't think I can get in. Great!

"Is he still not answering?" Collins asked completely shouting at my ear since the music up in here is really loud.

I shake my head. "No."

"We'll just wait then. Come on, let's grab something to drink." Collins said and drag me at the nearest bar counter and ordered a cocktail. I throw another text to Mat right before drinking the daiquiri Collins ordered.

"He probably left his phone or something." I said when I glance back again on my phone with zero texts or call from my boyfriend. Where the hell is he? Few hours ago he can't stop texting or calling me and now he's ignoring me?

Is he doing this to get even? No, Jade you're just being dramatic again.

"If he doesn't respond then we'll just chill here then." Collins said looking at the guys across us. Right, maybe by then Mat will finally check his phone and see my text messages and missed calls later on.

I stayed in the bar counter and let Collins mingle around while constantly checking my phone. I finished the glass of daiquiri Collins ordered a while ago and so I decided to order another one, just in time a bunch of girls went next to me and ordered their drinks. I can't help but notice the way they dress and I'm just here in my yoga pants and since I am just few inches away from them I didn't mean to eavesdrop on their conversation.

"I swear I am not into hockey but those players are awesome!" A girl on a black lacy top that I can practically see her tits who's seating next to me said.

"I know! Let's go back in there once we get our drinks." Another girl said.

I hate talking to strangers especially with girls that makes me feel so insecure because I will surely look like a goddamn prey in front of predators but I am just way too curious where the hell is Barzy and why isn't he responding on my calls and texts.

I inhaled and asked the girl who's seating next to me.

"Uhmm... hey! Did you mentioned hockey players? " I started and I absolutely noticed the way they look at me from head to toe, toe to head. Right! Of course they are judging my outfit.

The girl smiled forcefully. "Yeah? Why?"

"Well, I just want to know where they are. I've been trying to reach one of the dudes but they don't answer his phone." I replied trying to talk straight. The way they stare at me is so damn uncomfortable, they look at me like it's as if I am about to take their candies away.

"Oh! They are the VIP lounge." She replied.

"Alright, thank you." I said and walked out. The music might be too loud but I heard them chuckle behind my back as I walk away from them.

I reached the VIP lounge and approached the security right away, who immediately blocked my way.

"Hey I am with the Islanders. I am good friends with one of them." I said but the security doesn't seem to care. He just looked at me from head to toe just like what the other girls did to me at the bar counter earlier.

"I'm sorry I can't let you in." He said. "If you are here to disturb our guests for photos or something you need to leave."

"Excuse me?" Now, I'm furious!

But I didn't say a word. Instead, I grab my phone and dialed Mat's number again.

"Shit!" I hissed when there's still no answer from him. Damn it! Where the heck is he?

I looked at the security in complete frustration. "Can you at least call someone to tell the Islanders that there's someone named Jade waiting outside or something?"

I tried looking in hoping that there's someone on his team who might see me and help me get in but to my dismay. I saw something that made my heart crack into two.

It's Mat.

My boyfriend.

Kissing somebody else.

"You know what, never mind." I told the security and walked away.

Fuck! Why am I so stupid?

-

I didn't wait for Barzal, nor texted him nor confronted him with what I just saw.

Instead, I looked for Collins around and told him that I am leaving. Same plans as me, he decided to leave the bar too because according to him he just realized that he is not in the mood.

I didn't told him about what happened, all I said was we got the wrong bar and I am too tired to go look for them anymore.

When I got home, I locked the door and cried my eyes out. Stupid! Why am I locking the door? Mathew won't surely come home because he is already busy screwing Pauline's brains out tonight.

The fuck! My life is pretty normal, less drama and less pain. But when I let that fucking guy into my life, I became a mess. Messier than I already was. I admit it, I have so many insecurities and I have anxiety that fucks me up every day and I was fine with that, but when Mat came I just realized that it became worse and eats me up every day. Especially every time I see him getting surrounded with pretty girls begging for his attention.

I know that I should trust him, he said i love you to me during New Year but what the hell? He loves me and yet he's kissing another woman? Who does that?

I think this is going to be the right time to end everything. Things between us have been going so well but he just screwed everything! I gave him a chance but he doesn't seem to care or something. However, I won't say anything to Mat about what I saw. I'll wait for him to own it and admit it in front of me.

But one thing is for sure, I'm moving out.

-

I didn't fall asleep about four a.m. last night thinking about the incident. I head to work with a heavy lids and a heavy heart. Heck! I don't even know how to function at work right now, I'm totally not okay but at the same time I don't want to see Mat's face. He is surely home today to pack to go to Tampa tonight for their first game these year.

As much as I want to hear him apologize and fess up that he got shitfaced last night and fucked somebody else, I'm totally not ready for that. And I'll never will!

You know what, screw it!

I don't want to hear any of his explanations, I am done. And what I saw is already enough.

I arrived at the office fifteen minutes earlier and instead of opening the computer right away as what I usually do first thing when I get here I dropped my head on the desk while groaning.

"Are you okay?" Corina asked when she saw me do that on the way to her table next to mine.

"No." I replied and got up.

"Jade, you look like shit." She commented staring at my face. "What happened to your eyes?"

"I didn't get enough sleep last night."

"Why?"

"Just thin-- I mean, I just watched this new TV series in Netflix and got really hooked so I couldn't get enough until so I finished it the entire night." I lied.

"All the kids these days are so fund of watching TV series these days. Did you watch it with your boyfriend?" She asked.

"No. He' was busy screwing someone else." I said in a low tone.

"I'm sorry?"

"Oh! I said, he's with his team last night partying." I answered. "Anyway, are you free later? I want to check the apartment you were talking about."

"Oh that's great! I'll tell her you're checking it out." Corina replied grabbing her phone to call the agent.

"Actually Corina, no." I added beginning to realize that I have already made up my mind. "I'm taking the apartment. I'm probably moving there one of these days."

"Why the sudden decision?" Corina asked.

"No. It is not. I am desperate have it you know that." I reasoned out. "I'm just way too busy to tell you I'm taking it. But yeah, I am."

"Alright. I'll tell her."

"But I'll check it later. Are you sure you're free?" I asked.

"Always." Corina replied tapping on her phone.

After that, I distracted myself into working my ass out with all the stuck up papers of clients. My phone have been ringing all night and all day but I ignored it putting it on silent mode and threw it on my desk drawer. By the time, four o'clock strikes. Corina and I left the office early to come check the apartment downtown. On the way there, I finally decided to check my phone.

78 missed calls and 51 text messages.

Mathew: hey babe! I'm really sorry. I accidentally left my phone at Derick's car. Where r u?

Mathew: I'm staying at Derick's place 2nyt. You cool?

Mathew: Guess ur already at work. I'm off to Tampa now.

Mathew: I won't be home next week for NHL media week.

Mathew: I need to run something w/ u about the all-star games when I get back.

Mathew: i love you...

Mathew: Jade?

"Screw you, Mat!" I said as I drop my phone back on my bag, only to realize that I said those words out loud because Corina just snickered asking me if I am currently on a World War III with my boyfriend.

Shit! I don't even want to call him my boyfriend anymore. Damn him!

"Yeah." I said and sighed. "I mean I don't know."

"You want to talk about it?"

"No." I replied abruptly just in time the car stops signaling that we have arrived.

It's now or never...