Elissa pov*

Since Lucas started to spend time with his father I have a lot of free time. Like now; Lucas is with Adrian for the weekend. He picked him up from the daycare yesterday and will depose him Monday morning.

I didn't see Adrian from our last "discussion" two weeks ago. He just texted me, every day several time per day. He is what can I say very persistent but I am more than him...

I won't accept his threat about Leo who does think he is? Trying to control my life...

But what worried me is Leo, his behaviour changes a lot lately, it's like something changed and not knowing what it is, is bothering me. I am deciding to know the reason today. We agreed to meet and he will come soon.

***

We finished our lunch, which was silent and enjoying a cup of coffee when I decided to speak first

"Is everything ok?"

He looked at me for a moment and just nodded

"Leo I can see there is something wrong you're not as usual"

He kept silent

"Talk to me Leo please" I added taking his hand in mine

He let out a huge breath and finally spoke

"I think... we have to... to stop this"

"This? What are you speaking about?" I frowned

He stood up from his chair and sighed his hands on his hips

"Us... our relation"

I looked at him with wide eyes

"But why? Did I do something? Did Adrian said something to you?" I asked with worry if he dared to intimidate Leo I will kill him with my bare hands

"No... no it's just I can't continue like this. Like everything is ok and perfect"

"I know that I am not perfect but still... I am trying"

"Yes Elissa you are trying that means you are not completely in the same level as me"

"But..."

He took my hand and stared straight to my eyes

"Look Eli I am not blaming you here. I know and can feel that you are trying hard to make our relation works but I know now that you won't ever be able to give me all your love"

"Why? What has changed?"

"I... I noticed the sparkle in your eyes when you are in front of Adrian, this sparkles I never see them when you look at me. The other day at the birthday I felt out of place, seeing how your behaviour changes in front of him and the worst part it's that you don't even realize it, even if you fight it your eyes speak for you... I tried really to ignore it but I can't... I can no longer act as if everything is ok"

How that possible, what sparkles he is talking about I don't want anything to do with Adrian anymore...

"No... No I feel nothing towards him, you are wrong Leo" I said shaking my head

He let out a small chuckle

"Of course you are, everyone can see it except you. You still love him honey and Adrian loves you too. You have this connection we don't have and we will never have it."

"You don't know maybe in the future..."

He cut me

"I am sure of that; you know why?" He asked " Because he is your first and great love and I can't compete with that no matter how much I tried."

"But I say to you I don't want to be with him thrust me even if you are not with me I won't return to Adrian"

"You are hurt Elissa and it's normal to act this way, but the evidence is here you have the same feelings towards him you had this past years, nothing changed and seeing him don't fix things. He is the only man you loved the father of your son..."

I started to cry, because I don't want to hurt him, Leo was here for me and supported all my weakness and flaws without pointing them... I don't want to lose him

"I don' want to lose you" I said sobbing

"You won't silly" He said hugging me

"I will always be your friend no matter what, it's just I want too to have a person who look at me with so much adoration, proud and care, like you or Adrian have when you look at each other"

I felt like shit how I can do that to him, letting him feel like he was not worth all my love and care. I am a monster

"I am sorry Leo... so so sorry"

He freed me from his embrace to take my shoulders and shaking me softly

"Don't because it's not your fault do you understand?"

"It's not your fault either yet you are the one suffering" I said lowering my head

"There is no culprit here; it's the life. Once again I am not blaming you. I give you a chance and myself too. A chance to live our happiness. Of course I would have liked to find this happiness with you but we can't force the fate do we?" He finished with a smile and warm look

I hugged him so tight, he did the same

"Oh Leo you are too perfect for me I don't deserve you"

"Don't say nonsense"

"No it's the truth and the woman who will find and love you like you deserve is a damn lucky one"

He chuckled still hugging me.

We stay like that for a moment.

I backed off contemplating his soft and warm features

"What will happen now" I asked

He shrugged

"Nothing you are still friends"

He wiped the last drop of cry with his thumb and kissed me softly on the cheek. I leaned and close my eyes enjoying this moment. I felt guilty, I felt weak because I couldn't move on.

I had an amazing man with me but even with that I didn't succeed. No matter Leo said I am blaming myself. I am the reason of this failure; the only one responsible...

Leo cut my thought

"What about a movie?" He asked

I smiled and nodded

He clapped his hands showing his enthusiasm. Being the kindest man I know, he was making this to make me feel less miserable but deep down I knew he is suffering. The sadness in his eyes spoke for him.

I told you I don't deserve him and more important he deserves a lot better than a broken woman like me.

****