Was he freaking kidding me? He was going to buy me a nice present? That would make everything better and I'd forget about what he did to me? Our pack might need a new Alpha if he was delusional enough to think I could be bribed into forgiveness by a nice present. 

You know what a nice present would be, Alpha? Your head mounted to a piece of wood over my fireplace. That would be a nice present, you idiot, I thought as I shoved some clothes into a small duffle bag. I had to get out of here, and this time, Owena and Echo couldn't go with me. Three would be easier to track than one, and this time I suspected -- even with the potions Raevyn had taught me to make -- the pain would quickly become unbearable the farther away I got from Night, until the only option left was crawling under some thick bushes and letting the agony overwhelm me until it stopped my heart. I didn't want my friends to see that, to feel the helplessness of watching me writhe and twist in pain, unable to help. They would stay with me every excruciating moment, and I loved them too much to let them watch me die like that.

Stupid Alpha, I thought as I recalled him announcing his acceptance of me as his Howl to our assembled pack mates. I'd felt a weird combination of pissed off and warm and fuzzy when he'd said that. Obviously, my anger had won that round. He'd forced me to watch him fuck Lindsay Morgan in front of everyone only two weeks before -- and now I was supposed to just roll over and give him my belly because he'd decided he would graciously accept me as his Howl.

Well, I don't remember that. Any of it, other than what people told me. So let's move past that bullshit and focus on today. 

Move past that! Just move on as if he hadn't ripped my heart out of my chest.

Focus on the now, Neera, not on what happened. That's the past. We need to work this out in the now. It's hurting the pack if the Alpha and his Howl are at odds.

Such a typical Alpha attitude and approach to life. Because I have said so, jump to obey me, no explanations needed or given!

I hoped he wasn't thinking clearly right now -- hoped he didn't think I would sing a song I'd already sung and run away again. 

Woof! This day was taking its toll on me and it wasn't even fucking noon. In the space of three hours, I'd returned to pack lands, certain I was going to be killed; I'd been confronted by my delusional Alpha and announced as his Howl in front of the pack; I'd rejected said delusional Alpha; I'd been chased down by him so he could tell me to get over the events from two weeks ago, and then I'd begged for some time so I could think tonight and he and I could talk tomorrow.

Lie! I'd hoped to be long gone by the time tomorrow rolled around.

I ignored the fact that for three hours, just from being in his proximity, my pain had dissipated completely. When we'd been naked, with me on my belly and him on top of me, I'd wanted him to take me, to make me his, to take my blood so I could take his. I'd thought how easy it would have been for him to plunge inside of me and fuck me harder than he'd ever fucked anyone in his life, harder than I'd ever been fucked in my life, and to fill me with a gift only he could give to me.

But he'd resisted the call of my body and his -- there was no way he could have missed how wet I was for that hard, delicious cock he'd had pressed against me. For a split second, we were Alpha and Howl, the most potent combination there was in our world, and it would have been so, so easy to just forget what had happened and give in to our primitive, animalistic natures.

Somehow, I'd resisted, told him no and amazingly, he'd listened. When a male was faced with his Destined One in that position, it took some amazing control not to let his instincts push him into getting me ready for him, making me want to submit. He was Alpha and I was his Howl; I was genetically predisposed to want to submit to him, to take his cock, to give him those pups only I could give to him and only he could give to me.

He'd backed off even though we both knew it would have taken very little coaxing on his part to get me to welcome him into my body.

But I'd shaken off the fuck haze and bought myself some time to get away from him.

Since my other bag was already in the car, I hadn't needed to pack much in this one. Just some things I hadn't grabbed the first time I ran away. I looked around my apartment, then walked out for the last time. I wouldn't be coming back.

I threw the bag in my trunk, and drove toward the front gate.

Unlike last time, this time my car was stopped and I had to think fast.

"I'm on a mission!" I sang out to the guard. "Alpha accepted me as his Howl, and our ceremony's going to be tonight! Tonight! Can you believe it?" I gushed to him.

He smiled. "I'm glad to hear that, Howl. That was a bad business two weeks ago."

You know what' else is going to be a bad business? You not letting me out of here! 

"Well, this is all very hush hush, but I'm on my way to get my dress for the ceremony tonight. Night's so impatient he wouldn't wait one more night! So I really need to get going so I can find a dress and get back here in time for the ceremony. Your Alpha's not going to be happy if I can't find a dress and I make him wait until I can find one!"

The guard looked a little pale at that, and with a smile, waved me through the gate. I waited until I was out of sight before flooring it, taking some sharp turns until I was heading in the opposite direction the guard had seen me go. I drove and drove, and with each mile, a little bit of the pain came creeping back. By the time I stopped at some skeevy hotel that accepted cash, the pain was crashing over me in waves, and I was exhausted.

I ordered a small pizza, had it delivered to my door and ate it despite the pain. I made the potion to help me sleep, and I got a few hours before I knew trying to sleep any longer was useless. My fingers itched to call Echo and Owena, but I'd left my phone behind just in case they could somehow track it. So I left and hit the road again, driving aimlessly, heading north today instead of west. Focusing on my driving helped, but the pain was ever-present.

For three weeks, I drove all over the country in an aimless pattern, and each day, the pain came at me a little harder, and my dreams at night grew more and more vivid. In them, Night was searching for me as both man and wolf. His wolf was howling for me, and my wolf howled in return. Sad. Mournful. Angry at their human halves for keeping them apart. When it was Night searching for me, his eyes were sad and tortured.

"I am nothing but pain without you," he called to me every time I managed to sleep for a few hours. "Tell me where you are, Neera. Neera! I'll come for you!"

My dreams only served to increase the pain. Startled awake, I'd get up, leave the hotel and drive to a wooded area where I could let my fur-girl run.

That helped the pain more than anything, but she often lifted her face to the sky to howl out her agony and despair to Night's wolf, who was, depending on the day, anywhere between two hundred and a thousand miles away. Then we would run and run and run until we were so exhausted, we'd hide under some bushes and sleep a little until we woke before sunrise. We'd run back to the car, shift, dress and take off in the car for another fun-filled day of driving around in whatever direction called to me that day.

I half expected to see Raevyn waiting for me on some rocks as my fur-girl ran in the woods, but she never appeared. Honestly, I wasn't terribly surprised; she had done all she could for me before. There was nothing Raevyn could do now.

Some days, I felt as if I could live with the pain; then others, it would be so debilitating I could barely think or drive. The good days, I discovered, were precursors to the pain taking a turn for the worse, so I began to dread the good days. It was a miserable existence and I often thought about letting my fur-girl have dominance forever. The pain wasn't as bad with her pushed forward, but I guessed that would just be a matter of time, too, before she was overtaken by the pain.

I'd ordered my usual pizza on what I'd determined to be my last night in the hotel. My money was running out and since I didn't sleep much anyway, why not just sleep in the woods? Owena and Echo would be horrified -- it's not safe, Neera! -- but nothing scared me any longer. If something were to happen, well...the thought was no longer frightening, or at least no more frightening than the thought of facing the worsening pain.

The burning hot shower I'd taken just after putting in my pizza order helped. I'd scrubbed my hair clean and then my body, enjoying the feel of the pain receding a bit in the face of the shower's heat.

I got out of the shower, listening for the knock at the door that would signal the arrival of my dinner. With the extra towel, I dried my hair, then threw on some gray sweats and a soft purple hoodie. While I waited, I clicked through the TV channels, glad my pain had almost disappeared from the hot shower, allowing me to concentrate on the show for once.

Knock knock knock!

I jumped up and looked out the peephole. There was my pizza delivery man with all that meat-lover's goodness. Normally, I wasn't that hungry from the pain, but tonight, without the pain to suppress my appetite, I was starving.

I opened the door and accepted my pizza, handed him the money with a thank you and stepped back inside.

Just as a huge hand hit my door and pushed it wide open.

"Hello, Neera," Night flashed me his teeth and it was quite obviously not a smile.

After he walked into the room, he pushed the door shut behind him, then turned to face me, arms crossed over his chest.

"No welcome for me, sweet girl?"

Again with that feral grin.

No wonder my pain had disappeared; Night had been close.

Shit.

He was blocking the door. I could try to crash through the window, but he was bigger, stronger, faster and he would never let me get that close since I could hurt myself. Male wolves were obsessively protective of their Destined Ones.

"What do you want?" I demanded.

OK, that feral grin had to go because I did not like it. At all.

"Just to spend some time with my Destined One," he said innocently in a voice that was anything but. "I hear you've been dress shopping, but I can't believe you couldn't find one single dress that you liked in the last three weeks for our Blood ceremony. I never knew you were that particular, my little fur-girl."

Instead of answering, I crossed my arms over my chest and waited him out.

"You might want to eat your pizza because once we're in the car, my precious lambchop, I'm not stopping until we're back on pack lands."

We were seven hundred miles from the pack lands!

Deliberately, ignoring my growling stomach, I dumped the pizza into the wastebasket. No male wolf would deny his Destined One food.

Shaking his head, Night disapproved of my impulsiveness.

"While I want to care for you and meet your needs, darling crumpet of my heart, my overriding concern is getting you back to pack lands, where I can claim you as my Howl and keep you safe."

"Good luck with that," I scoffed. "I'm not going anywhere with you."

That fucking feral grin!

"We're going back tonight, my sweet pumpkin."

"I'm not going back. I'll fight you every step of the way and if I have to, I'll jump from the car."

"Ah, sounds like foreplay to me," he quipped. "But we'll have to wait until we're back on pack lands to indulge your feisty nature that I need to subdue and conquer, my little sweet potato."

"Stop with the stupid pet names!" I practically shrieked at him. "I'm not going back with you, I'm not going to be fucking conquered, and I'm not going to become your Howl. And I'm not kidding -- I will fight you while you're driving, I will break the window and jump out if I have to, but I will not go back and I will not submit!"

I'm a wolf. I'm fast and quick.

But an Alpha?

Much faster. Much quicker.

So I was thrown over his shoulder before I could even blink and he walked us out of the hotel room and the ten steps to his car that was parked right outside the room.

Backed into the space.

He popped the trunk.

Oh, no no no no.

He wouldn't dare --

I started shrieking in earnest, but this was the type of sleazy motel where that was the norm rather than the exception, and not one single person even opened a door to see what was going on.

"Quiet," he said and delivered a sharp slap to my ass that was hard enough to make me suck in my breath and stop my screaming. 

"You have waters in there, a light, and a disabled release cord so you can't open the trunk. I've also put some cushions in there so you'll be quite comfortable in your cozy nest, my little cream puff."

And with that, he dumped me into my cozy nest and shut me in the trunk.

Motherfucker was going to die.