• • •

Death.

It was inevitable. They say death is the only certain promise in ones life. Often times, we forget death can greet us. Anytime, anywhere and any place.

Dying wasn't something I thought of all the time, but I knew death would come to me one day. Life isn't promised, where as death, it can strike at anytime.

The life I lived didn't guarantee I'd one day enter heaven, I know I wasn't worthy of heaven but the moment I stepped inside the cool courtyard. A sense of belonging consumed me.

I was at home!

If this is what heaven felt like, then I'd greet it with open arms. I murmured finding myself glancing around the empty courtyard.

There was a certain silence across the over Nine-Hundred year old building. Not the eerie kind, but rather the peaceful one, the type when all is said and done and nothing is left. That kind of silence.

Walking further through concrete floor, a warm breeze whistled past me. The further I walked, the more clearer everything became. Now as I stood before the great door, leading inside towards the mosque. A sense of helplessness consumed me.

Something was missing.

" Are you lost?"

A soft voice spoke making me still. I could feel a cold shiver running down my spine as I slowly turned around, feeling my eyes land on the woman before me.

There on a small bench she sat, with locks of long brown hair and light hazel eyes. The woman had a small sweetheart shaped face and apple like cheeks that seemed to warm up each time she smiled.

She looked so much like my Farya, but it wasn't her.

It was Faryal

" Of course you are, son of Tayyib"

The woman spoke as she slowly moved a little and patted to the empty spot next to her. I could feel myself hesitate for a moment, but the moment I felt my eyes on the woman, and the kind smile she gave me. I felt relaxed.

Taking a seat next to the woman, a soft fragrance smell drifted from her as she glanced around the large courtyard. A silence greeting us.

" You met her here, didn't you?"

Faryal spoke as I stared at the courtyard again, trying to relive the memory, but this time we were transported back to that day. The day where I first saw Farya.

My Farya. My reckoning.

I could feel my eyes land on the entrance to the mosque and the beautiful woman dressed in black sitting down, in a sea of people. Her hands were raised in a small crescent shape, her eyes closed tightly. The loose veil on her head allowed a few loose strands to cup around her face. Making her look like an ethereal creature.

Opening her eyes slowly, she brought her hands on to her face before standing up. A flock of people walked past her, as she stood tall, her eyes glancing around till they landed on mine.

In that moment, the world froze as she looked at me for a good few moments. Her striking hazel eyes decorated with kohl liner, that reminded me much of the lost desert.

She looked ahead a few more seconds before a heart stopping smile came on her face. Making me weak at the knees.

" A Forbidden smile"

A voice spoke beside me as I blinked and this time when I looked, the courtyard was empty and all that was, left.

" Why am I here?"

I asked seeing the woman smile as she slowly stood up and turned towards me. Reaching her hand out to mine, I hesitated for a moment before placing mine against her soft ones.

" Let me show you something"

She spoke as I stood up and slowly walked with the woman. There was a momentary silence as we walked down the courtyard and towards where Faryal was leading me.

" Where are we going?"

" Do you trust me Moustafa?"

The woman spoke as she slowly tucked a strand away and looked towards me. I was utterly struck by her beauty. How simple she was yet at the same time, how stunning she was as well.

We found ourselves stepping out of the courtyard, no longer were we next to the blue mosque as I found myself now standing in the middle of the warm sand.

The smell of ocean brushed through me. The strong salty water now crashing ashore on to the land

Glancing around in surprise, I felt my feet relax against the warm sand. The sounds of waves crashing and sea gulls crying, reached my ears. Making me smile.

Farya loves the beach.

" You are right indeed "

Faryal spoke softly as she looked towards the blue waters and then towards me.

" You are much like your father Moustafa, but remember. You dont owe the world anything, so stop saving everyone, instead save what's left"

She spoke as she slowly pointed towards someone. I could feel my stomach drop and my heart burn. There was an eerie silence echoing across my ears as I stared ahead, seeing someone sitting on bench. The persons back now facing us.

" Go on"

Faryal spoke beside me, and I didn't need to be told again as I started walking. Both my mind and my body dominating their own thoughts.

A sudden rush of nervousness consumed me, the sand between my feet became heavier and heavier, each step I took became harder and harder.

A soft sigh escaped my lips, one of relief as I now stood next to the man, seeing him stand up slowly, and turn towards me.

My breath caught in my throat, seeing the man before me. His familiar brown eyes landing on mine, in a span of a second, a bright smile came across his face as he reached forward. His arms wrapping around me.

" Hamza"

I breathed out, holding on to my brother tightly, feeling his touch so real, so warm. Holding him tightly, I felt tears escape my eyes as the man patted my back before releasing the embrace.

" Brother, I've waited so long for you" he started as he looked at me. Staring towards the man in slight confusion, he slowly turned around and looked at the ocean around us.

" I've waited years for the truth"

He spoke making me swallow sharply and look towards my brother, not knowing whether I had died or this was a surreal dream. Either way, I didn't want it to end.

" But now you know the truth" He smiled as he placed his hand on my shoulder, making me nod slightly. Unable to form any words.

" How is Mirya?"

Hamza asked softly, making me smile remembering the now six year old. Nodding towards him, I patted his back seeing him smile.

" Elif is happy, I'm happy"

Hamza spoke all of a sudden as he looked upwards at the sky above us, without a single cloud. Looking towards my brother, he looked even more handsome than before. The last time I had seen him, he was covered in blood and bullets. Now looking towards him, I felt a smile on my face.

His face seemed to be glowing and so were his eyes, but they held the message of peacefulness in them as he slowly turned towards me.

" You know she is here right. She's been waiting for you as well"

Hamza spoke as he turned towards me and glanced over my shoulder. I could feel my heat beat racing, and my stomach turn as my brother smiled at someone behind me.

Following his trail, my throat tightened seeing the sight before me. It was as though the world had stilled in that moment, as I stared at Farya sitting down on the floor, her long brown hair now cascading down her back and a bright smile on her face, making her dimples appear.

She looked so happy. So free.

Dressed in white, she held a small sand bucket in her hands as she giggled at someone before her. Following her trail I could feel my eyes sting as I looked from Farya and towards the little girl sitting next to her.

Holding a yellow bucket, she pulled it upwards from the sand revealing her little castle. She pointed towards her little masterpiece, making Farya applaud a mini replica of herself.

Looking at the little girl, she had locks of brown hair and a small round face. Clapping her hands excitedly, she proceeded towards another bucket causing Farya to beam at her.

Besides them walked a young man, with light blonde hair and striking blue eyes. Kneeling next to them, the man's eyes suddenly landed on me and for moment there was silence before he smiled. Making his eyes sparkle a little.

Roshan

I could see Farya look towards her brother before she followed his trail and her eyes landed on me.

There was a moment of confusion on her face, before a bright smile came across her face, the same smile she had imprisoned me, that day, as she suddenly stood up.

The white dress she wore floated a little as the woman rubbed her hands allowing the sand to fall off them. In a split moment I could see the woman walk towards me with the little girl holding her hand. As they both smiled at me.

My princess. My girls.

I could feel my throat tighten, seeing my wife walk towards me. A radiant smile on her face. Standing infront of me, she slowly reached forward, her warm hand caressing my cheeks.

" Moustafa you made it"

She murmured softly, before glancing towards the small girl beside her. My heart swelled up with warmth as I stared at the small girl looking upwards at me. Her large blue eyes landing on me, making her smile shyly.

Farya slowly caressed her brown locks as the little girl gave me a toothless grin and reached forward for a hug.

" I've missed you so much" I spoke, not fully understanding my words as the little girl giggled before she moved away and held Farya's hand.

" I thought you'd never come"

Farya spoke as she stared at me, tears in her eyes making me tense up a little and look towards the woman.

" Where are we Farya?"

I murmured seeing her look around the ocean of blue before she smiled lightly, her eyes twinkling.

" Between the shores and freedom"

She murmured brightly as I too glanced around the ocean of blue around us. Her warm hand suddenly reached towards mine, holding it lightly. I could feel my eyes travel towards Hamza holding the little girl by her hand as she smiled brightly at me.

Next to Faryal stood Roshan, his head leaning down on her shoulders and I felt my eyes slowly trail towards Farya staring at me. A faint smile on her face.

" It's time to go, I finally found freedom; but we'll wait by the shores for you, till we meet again Moustafa"

The woman spoke as she reached towards me. Placing as soft kiss on my cheek, the woman took a step back. Her hand slipping away from mine.

I could feel my body being pulled away by an unnatural fog. The light that once surrounded the beach now turned in to a black mist and in that moment I felt myself falling down a black hole.

Everything was twisting and turning and no matter how much I yelled, no one could hear me. I could feel myself scream at the top of my lungs, wanting to go back to my wife, to my daughter and to my brother.

" Moustafa"

" Moustafa"

" Moustafa, wake up! It's just a dream"

A voice called in the distant. Through the darkness I felt a hand reach towards me. Shaking me.

Opening my eyes, a heavy weight remained on my chest as I glanced around the moving vehicle, feeling my world halt for a moment.

Glancing to the side, I could see Murat dressed in a black suit. His face stoic and his eyes trained ahead on the road in front of him. As if noticing my eyes on him, Murat slowly glanced towards me.

A look of pain flashing in his eyes.

" I saw him. He was there, she was there. They- I- I saw Hamza"

I murmured sitting upwards seeing Murat tense, and swallow sharply. Running his tongue over his lips in nervousness he glanced my way again, but all I could focus on was how cold I was. And how desperately I wanted to go back to the dream. To them, to her.

" H-How was he?"

He murmured making me close my eyes. Feeling tears sting my eyes. Intaking a sharp breath, I could still feel his strong arms around me. His fresh scent lingering in my nose. I could almost see his smile as I spoke looked again towards my younger brother.

" He was happy, at peace. He mentioned Mirya and Elif" I spoke seein Murat eyes flicker a little before he nodded and took a sharp turn.

Closing my eyes tightly again, I felt reality slap me across the face as I opened them again. Remembering why I was here, and where i came from.

The graveyard.

The world stopped for me in that moment, as I lunged forward. My hand slapping on the dashboard hearing the car come to a screeching halt.

" Moustafa what happened"

Murat called out behind me whilst I opened the car door, like a madman, feeling the cold air rush through me. It was as though all the strength had left my knees as I wobbled a little feeling my throat construct.

Closing my eyes tightly, my chest started burning, as if it was on fire. Cold sweats rushed down my body yet at the same time I was boiling hot.

Glancing down at my hands, I could see the faint mud and dirt still lingering on them. Raising my hands upwards, my stomach turned feeling tears blur my vision.

" Moustafa, brother please"

Murat voice cracked as I looked towards him, feeling as though glass shards had been forced down my throat. A low sob bubbled it's way upwards making me reach towards my back pocket.

" Agghh"

I screamed at the top of my lungs whilst raising the gun, hearing the bullets fire upwards. The sound almost shaking the earth underneath me.

Looking upwards through my blurry vision, I could see the rows of black cars all parked behind me. The men now standing outside as they looked towards me.

In that moment, I could care less if i looked weak, or even insane. All I could see was the world breaking in front of me. My world had broken in front of me.

Looking down at my hands, I felt tears rush down my face seeing Murat reach forward and embrace me. His shoulders shaking a little, and his tears staining on my shirt.

" I buried her with these hands"

I cried seeing my brother nod as he brought his forehead against mine. His eyes bloodshot.

" We will honour her and let the land around us know, the injustice that happened"

Murat spoke as he reached towards his pocke, pulling out a gun. Raising his hand, he aimed it upwards as he fired three shots and within a few seconds I could hear hundreds and hundreds shots echoing around me. Almost as if the world around us was about to split in to two.

The sounds of bullets clanking to the floor reached my ears, as I felt my brother pull me upwards. His strong hands on my shoulders.

" We are Aydins, she was an Aydin, and she will always be an Aydin"

He spoke making me nod. Standing upwards, I felt my legs conjure a mind of its own as I walked further and sat inside the car. My body utterly exhausted.

I could see from the corner of my eyes Murat taking a seat inside, as he started the car and we started our journey. Through the rocky hills.

Closing my eyes tightly, I could see Farya's smile. The white dress she wore on our wedding day. How stunning she was.

Almost like an offering to a ruthless king she stood in the middle of the hall. A large chandelier above her, drowning her with light. A red ribbon was around her waist and her veil falling effortlessly behind her.

She was an angel that day. My angel in white.

I knew going to that wedding was a bad idea. Heck, anyone could have guessed it but I had to. I had to see her and I did. Instead of that bastard marrying her, I brought her to my home. To my territory, as my wife.

If there was one thing I had been told was to never cry. They say real men dont cry, but fuck, Farya made me in to a real man, without her what was life worth.

" You love her don't you, Elif?" I spoke, my voice hoarse seeing Murat tense up a little before he inhaled sharply and stared at the road ahead.

" Of course you do, you fell in love with her the moment you saw her at that- that rug market" I spoke waving my hand like a madman, trying to paint an image for my brother.

Unable to think straight, my shaky hands reached towards my blazer pocket. Pulling a packet of cigarettes, I took Murat's lighter near the dashboard before lighting it up.

A look of shock came across Murat's face but he didn't speak, though I knew all too well what he wanted to say.

I was smoking again.

I hadn't touched a cigarette in years yet here I was, inhaling the smoke feeling my eyes close. The feel of rush trickling through my bones.

" You know I will kill him right. By you guys not telling me where he is hiding, is making things worse"

I murmured taking a drag. Reaching towards my gun, I unloaded it, feeling the bullets weigh in on my palms, the sound of them clashing echoing all around the car.

" You're not thinking straight. When the time comes, I'll be the one to bring him forward but right now. You need to mourn-"

Murat trailed off making me scoff as I ran a hand through my hair. A cold shiver running down my body. Each time I closed my eyes, I was there again, at the graveyard with hundreds of men around me. Each one praying. Each one pitying the dead.

I could see the white stone flash before me. The marking carved deep inside and the white flowers that were laying next to it.

" Moustafa, it's Kenan. We need to go to the hospital. Now"

Murat spoke hysterically as he pressed on to the gas and within moments, the car was rushing down the road and approaching an all too familiar building.

I could feel the blood rush from my head, my palms now deadly cold seeing Murat talk over the phone. Everything fell in to an eerie silence and all I could do was stare ahead.

I didn't know how I managed to get out of the car, or inside the hospital or even down the familiar hallways. But it felt as though my body had a mind of it's own.

Each step I took, made my heart beat wilder and wilder. My chest was now on fire and my legs utterly numb.

"... We tried to Sir, but being at this stage we couldn't do it any sooner"

A faraway voice spoke as I rushed past the waiting area and towards where the room was.

" You were supposed to save me"

" I'm dying Moustafa. Everyday"

" Is love enough for us"

Her voice echoed in my ears, like a horn announcing a battle. I could feel the world rush around me as tears came down on to my face.