• • •

There was a momentary silence. A silence so haunting it stilled the world around me. It was like being on top of mountain, screaming your heart out yet hearing nothing in return. Almost as if the world has shunned you away in to silence, turning its ears deaf to your pleas.

I counted the seconds from the moment I opened my eyes.

Two Hundred and Forty. Almost four minutes. Yet these Four minutes felt like an eternity.

I was vaguely aware of the warm hold against my cold one. The delicate touch of his fingers brushing against my skin reminded me that I was still here, and yet somehow at the same time. I had forgotten his touch, because when you yearned for something so long. You almost forget what it feels like to have it for real, and so instead. You fall in to the deception of your mind and imagine it, such was the case now.

Having his warm thumb brush against my hand, swirling round and round averted my mind from the reality we were in.

A reality in which I was four months pregnant with borderline stage two cancer, early stage three. The truth was I was dying and I've never wanted to live more.

" I should have never looked at you, that day in the mosque. Like a man, I should have looked away. It's all my fault"

Moustafa's deep voice spoke, the choked emotions mixing in his words as he held my hand tighter and brought it towards his lips. Placing a soft kiss on it.

" You're only Twenty-One, for god sake. But I couldn't leave you with them. How could I turn blind eye at how your supposed parents treated you-" He spoke his words turning in a small whisper. Making my throat construct.

" Then again, my mother did worse. Farya, I wanted to take you away from them. Far far away but I couldn't. I failed you and our child but I promise" He started as he entwined our fingers together, his thumb brushing against the tip of my fingers.

" I'll make it up to you. We'll make it and well soon have our home, our family and you can go back to University. I'll look after the kids. It'll be amazing"

He spoke with hope in his words making me close my eyes tightly, fearing the world around me would split open and succumb me inside.

A moment of silence fell across us as I felt my eyes open and search towards him. Moustafa had his head down, his hand holding on to mine and a faraway look on his face.

Moving my hand away from his warm one, his eyes snapped towards me and a mixture of happiness and worry flashed across his face.

" Farya you're awake"

He spoke softly as I slowly tried sitting upwards feeling all sorts of pipes plugged to my hands and one around my nose, tug at my movements making me hiss in pain.

Hitching in a breath, I bit on to my lips in hopes of not showing the pain I was in. Sitting upwards, Moustafa was beside me as I now sat straighter looking ahead at the empty room.

" Wait, I'll call the nurse. Stay here"

The man spoke in a rushed tone as he stood up and walked towards the door in large steps, leaving me all alone in the room.

Glancing down at myself, I realised I was now in a hospital gown, and my hair down. My right hand had a drip attached to it whilst my left looked worse for wear with a plaster on top of it. Probably due to some blood tests they may have carried out.

" Farya my love"

A familiar voice spoke as I felt my eyes snapping upwards seeing Nourie rushing inside. Her eyes puffy and her nose now red as the woman pulled me in to a hug. Holding me tightly, near her beating heart as she slowly stroked my hair. Her sniffles reaching my ears.

" Nourie I'm okay" I spoke half lying seeing the woman cup my face before she shook her head and wiped her tears.

" Oh I know lovely, but you gave us all such a scare" She spoke just in time for my nurses to walk inside the room accompanied by Doctor Imran who gave me a kind smile.

" Hello Farya. How are you doing?"

He spoke as the nurse beside him looked through the flipchart in her hands before walking round the bed towards where the machines were plugged in.

" I've seen better days"

I spoke, my voice croaky seeing the man nod with a smile on his face. Rounding the left side of the bed, he took a seat on the chair making me glance at the man worriedly.

" Your tests result came in and it seems like your sugar levels had dropped severely hence the fatigue resulting you to faint-"

He started making me clear my throat, aware that I must look like a train wreck but nonetheless I faced the man before me.

" You and the baby are both okay. Although we need to change your dietary plan in order to meet your circumstances" He spoke and I knew what he was referring to making me nod whilst I felt Nourie's soothing hand on my shoulder in reassurance.

" I will be in touch with Doctor Halime to let her know of what's happened. Now I'm going to borrow Nourie for moment to go through a few paperworks. I'll leave you here to rest"

The man spoke as he nodded at me with a smile on his face before he stood up allowing Nourie to follow after him, as the nurse went over a few reports.

All that was left now, was Moustafa and I and the haunting silence.

" What did he mean by your Circumstances? Are you okay? Is it the baby?"

Moustafa questioned as he walked towards me, a worried look across the handsome man's face making me tense. Swallowing sharply, I avoided his look yet I could hear him reach for the chair as he pulled it near the bed with a screech.

" What makes you think it's all okay? That you could just barge in after all these months and pretend we're normal again?"

I spoke looking upwards at him. Seeing his bruised face look back at me, the cut on his lip more evident and the red marking of a bruise on his cheekbones and jaw now clearly seen from a mile off.

I never thought I'd see Moustafa Aydin wearing bruises on his face. He was the type of man that would cause pain and hurt to others yet was never on the receiving end, yet how wrong was I?

The air around us stifled as the man stared at me with a pained look across his face. Almost as if I had struck him.

" Farya you're misunderstanding-"

" Misunderstanding?"

I started glaring towards the man seeing him a little taken aback by the sudden outburst.

" Misunderstanding? God damn it, Moustafa what do you think was going to happen. T-That you'd say you never met my brother and I would believe you. How can I believe after everything"

I yelled loudly hearing utter silence from around me. Glancing over Moustafa's shoulder I realised we had caught the eyes of a few making me intake a sharp breath and look down.

" This was a disaster from day one. Our families hatred always came first. It was and always will be Forbidden for us"

I spoke not entirely making sense as I leaned backwards, my head resting on the wall whilst the man before me ran a hand through his hair and clutched on to it. Kicking the chair in frustration.

" What do I have to do to make you believe me Farya, that everything I did was for your good"

" And was lying on top of that list"

A voice spoke from the doorway making me look upwards feeling my eyes widen. Nourie stood there with Deniz beside her as the woman glared daggers at Moustafa who returned the look but aimed it at Deniz.

" Fairy"

Deniz spoke as he walked inside the room, a worried look on his face. Despite everything that was happening I felt a smile on my face seeing the man take a seat beside me, before reaching to my hands, holding it in reassurance.

" Deniz! I was worried you'd forgotten us?" I spoke seeing the man smile yet the pain was evident in his eyes as he shook his head lightly.

" Never! I can never forget you"

He spoke yet I didn't know why but my stomach turned at those words. To forget me. Will everyone forget me easily or will they say my name in my memory.

Shaking the thought away, I felt my eyes flickering upwards landing on Moustafa who was trying his all best to not look at Nourie's death glares.

" I've signed all the paperwork and hopefully by tonight you'll be discharged. After that we'll go home and have your favourite food"

" What did they say? Is she okay? Is the baby okay?"

Moustafa questioned making me look towards Deniz who looked rather shocked before he masked the look.

" Moustafa, it's best you go back home. Farya doesn't want to keep in any contact with you. When she has the baby you can visit-"

" The hell I will! Noursheen I have just as much as rights to my wife as I do to my child"

Moustafa bellowed, his eyes turning red in anger and his jaw clenching tightly. I could feel my heart drop, my stomach turning. Seeing Nourie cross her arms and glare at the man.

" Aydin, she isn't some doll you can have one day and throw away. I bet Ferhat fed that shit in your head. When you've come to your sense and this talk about rights-"

Nourie started as she waved her hands, almost as if she could see her words before her and she was terminating the ones she didn't like.

" - has left your mind. You know where we are. Talk to us then in a civilised manner"

Nourie spoke angrily, her large doe eyes swarming with hundreds of emotions as she looked at the man in front of her.

The most unexpected thing happened as Moustafa suddenly smiled and shook his head at Nourie making the woman even angrier if that was possible.

" I'm glad Farya has you. I won't leave her, I-I can't. I want to be here, for her and the baby"

He spoke and in all this time he hadn't looked at me until now. Intaking a sharp breath I looked away from his gaze. Feeling lightheaded.

" Moustafa you got a call" A voice spoke making me look upwards seeing Kenan walking inside the room as he handed the phone to Moustafa.

The once soft expression on the mans face suddenly turned cold. His eyes murderous as he stormed out of the room with Kenan behind him.

A heavy silence fell across the room making Nourie run a hand through her hair. Sighing, she looked at me offering me a smile.

" Come on you two. Don't just sit there, we have to go home"

Nourie spoke as she shook her head and walked towards me. There was a bag on the chair beside her and she took a hold of it and handed it to me.

" Baby change your clothes. We've got a few nurses that will visit us later in the house" Nourie spoke as she practically kicked Deniz out of the room, not after walking out herself.

It took me exactly five minutes to get changed. One of the nurses helped me, in taking off the pipes attached to my body and the drip on my hand.

I hadn't ever timed getting changed but I did today, which was weird in a way.

Nourie or Deniz, or whoever, had bought me a light blue dress that fell in to waves at the bottom. It was a summer kind of dress yet at the same time there was an elegant touch to it.

I pulled my hair in to a neat loose bun and the moment I stepped out of the room I was bombarded by Deniz and Nourie invading my personal space.

" I just realised something! We haven't been to the movies in a while" Deniz spoke as we walked out of the hospital entrance. I could see a black car parked in front of us making Nourie round the car, opening the door.

" We got a driver?" I asked Deniz seeing him shrug his shoulders as he reached towards the front door whilst I sat at the back next to Nourie.

The car ride from the hospital to the house was an hours away. Least to say when we reached the familiar white villa, I was more than happy.

The moment we stepped inside the house, Aylin had cooked us a storm making my stomach growl in hunger.

The least I can say was I ate more than I think it was possible making Nourie smile and Deniz look at me a little disgusted.

" Jeez look at you. I wouldn't have imagined you eat like that"

Deniz spoke making me kick him under the table hearing him groan. Aylin had decided she would tell us a little background story about herself, gushing about how she met her husband and how they raised their two children.

" What about you Noursheen. Why didn't you get married?"

Aylin spoke as she munched on her bread leaving a few crumbs. Nourie who once had a smile on her face suddenly fell as she looked down before intaking a sharp breath.

" It's getting a little late. Aylin you should get going and Deniz. You need to be at the station as much as possible. How are you going to become a police officer if you dont take the right training"

She spoke as she stood up and pushed her chair backwards. Clearing her throat she walked towards the open kitchen, wiping her hands before walking towards me and giving me a kiss.

" Night baby" She spoke and in a moment she was gone. Deniz soon followed after and all that was left was me and Aylin, who looked a little awkward.

" Do you think she is upset? I didn't mean to offend her. She is so pretty and not married-"

" Aylin I don't think Nourie likes talking about it"

I spoke offering the woman a smile seeing her nod. Standing up, I helped Aylin with the plates whilst the woman insisted I sit down.

The truth was, even if Nourie didn't want to say it. She was married, well for five years she was. Her father had worked for my grandad. And although Nourie was always seen as an equal, her father knew his young daughter couldn't forever stay at the house.

So when she was nineteen, Nourie was married to man ten years older than her. During the time she was married, her husband had been very abusive towards her and she still carries the scars with her till this day.

During that time, her father died and that was her last of relatives gone. Nourie took a divorce and my grandfather welcomed her back in to the house. A year or two after, Roshan was born and Nourie took it upon herself to look after him.

I'll never know if Nourie had any children or not.

" I've heard many things about the Aydin household. Are they as strict as they say?" Aylin spoke looking towards me making me half smile, knowing they were ten times more than she knew.

" And how on earth did you get married to Moustafa? He's the type of man everyone dreamed to catch a glimpse of but never did" Aylin chuckled placing a hand on her hip.

" Aylin you're rather curious today"

I spoke seeing the woman look down in embarrassment. Shaking my head I walked towards where the sofas were, next to the wall length windows overlooking the beach.

" I do apologise Farya. Its just I dont understand. Everyone knows the Aydins and the Khizans hated each other since well two generations. How did you end up getting married to your worst enemy and your parents allowed it"

She asked taking a seat beside me making me shrug my shoulders knowing I had been asked the same question by so many other people. How had my parents allowed it?

Truth be told, if imaam mebarak hadn't told me to speak up that day. I would have been killed in the name of honour. I knew they would have pulled the trigger. The white dress they packed me in with the red ribbon as cherry on top, would have been bathed in scarlet if it weren't for Moustafa.

In a way, Moustafa had saved me that day, as much as I dont want to admit it.

" Life works in a funny way" I spoke in a faraway voice making Aylin nod and her Twenty-One questions ended as well.

The clock struck half ten in the evening and the sun had set an hour before. Standing up, I wrapped a black scarf around my shoulders and found myself stepping in to the cool sand.

The sounds of waves crashing reached my ears. The emerging stars filled the night sky making me spread my arms out, feeling the warm breeze brush through me.

Freedom.

This was freedom.

I thought with a smile as I walked further towards the shoreline seeing the waves brush through the sand with a force of it's own.

Sitting down, my gaze flickered upwards at the bright moon seeing its light reflecting across the blue waves underneath it. Telling its tales of millennia.

" No matter how far you are. You'll always be near the ocean"

A voice spoke making me tense. I could feel my breathing stopping for that moment, all sounds turning numb. As if to confirm that the voice I heard was indeed real. Clutching my hand, I exhaled the breath I was holding hearing the sand behind me move a little.

" Maybe its that one place I can escape to. At least it'll always shows my true colours in the waters"

I spoke not turning. I knew I should get up and leave, that this wasn't right yet I stayed firm to my ground.

" Maybe so" He spoke as I felt the man sit beside me. Making me tense. I should get up and leave, but truth be told. I had no energy in me to move an inch.

" Why are you here Moustafa?"

I spoke tiredly, looking straight ahead yet I knew his eyes were trained on me. Almost as if he had longed for this sight his whole life.

" I'm here for you"

He spoke slowly making me shake my head feeling a dry laugh come out of my mouth.

" I don't think you get it. I don't think you understand how much I hate you"

I spoke with raw pain in my voice as I turned towards the man beside me. Seeing his face pained, almost as if I had struck him.

" I've wronged you Farya! The words I said cut you deep but I also knew if you stayed. My family would have devoured you. I had to take you out from there"

He spoke as he looked at me in the eyes making me look away, not believing a word he said.

" How can you lie to me. You really think I'd believe you" I spoke scoffing seeing the man turn his head a little, almost in a circular motion.

Moustafa suddenly reached towards my hand and in a moment. He placed it near his beating heart as his free hand reached towards my face. Cupping it.

" Tell me Farya! Do I still look like I'm lying to you" He spoke, his voice soft yet with hint of anger and pain as I felt my hand against his beating heart.

" Leave me Moustafa"

There was a moment of silence before I pulled my hand away and stood up. The sudden act turned out to be a failure as I felt the world around me turn, my head now dizzy.

I felt myself falling backwards when all of a sudden strong arms reached towards me, holding me upwards.