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2016

".. I still don't understand why he takes such a long time. It's not even his school- heck he is in university"

I groaned staring ahead at the chandelier glittering against early morning light. The clock read exactly Half-Seven which quite frankly was early for others, but not in this household. Especially when you're running with the clock.

The warm aroma of freshly cooked brownies and tea whiffed through my nose making me groan and lean back. My bag hitting against the floor.

" Nourie ... tell him" I groaned childishly seeing the woman halt in her tracks as she turned around softly. Her brown curls dancing against the movement. Flashing me a pearly white smile, her large eyes twinkled against the sunrise before she shrugged her shoulders nonchalantly.

" Farya! This is how I feel everyday when you don't get ready"

" But mama Nourie this is torture" I moaned giving her my best sad face seeing the woman roll her eyes and tend to her baking tray full of brownies.

" I think I should do this more often. Get your brother to drop you off to school" She spoke thoughtfully, a genuine look on her face whilst holding a spatula near her hips.

" You can't be serious. I'm almost eighteen and besides why can't one of the drivers drop me off"

" You know all too well what your father is like"

I groaned all of a sudden seeing Nourie place a brownie on a plate whilst she sported a cup of tea on the other hand. Walking towards the dining table she placed the plate on the wood making me reach forward.

" Hands off" She spoke thwarting my hand making me hiss and hold it back. Giving her a shocked look, whilst the woman took slow torturing bites from the brownie and I looked at her like a starved dog just back from a run in the park.

" You're too cruel Nourie" I murmured hearing footsteps down the hall and the next thing I know. My eyes landed on a tall handsome man walking inside the kitchen, sporting a white top and grey jeans. With his brown blond-ish hair brushed to the side and his small crescent chain on. He gave me a wide grin, his ocean blue eyes twinkling with laughter.

" If it isn't my two favourite ladies" Roshan spoke cheekily, rounding towards Nourie he gave her a kiss making the woman smile before he walked towards me and as ever childishly rubbed my head, messing my hair- which had taken me an hour to straighten.

" Morning Fairy ! How's it poppin? Listen we have to go. We're pretty late" Roshan spoke glancing down at his watch before he clicked his tongue, ushering for me to hurry up.

" And whose fault is that- if I remember-"

" Fairy cakes. Not today I have a friend coming over. Behave" He warned teasing making me flip him the bird whilst he rolled those blue eyes of his. God, he was such a drama queen.

" So whose this friend of yours, that's decided to come so early" I murmured lile a grumpy five year old refused ice cream for breakfast. Glancing over his shoulder, Roshan shrugged before giving me a cheesy smile.

" A friend from Uni" He continued as we walked towards the door slowly, waving bye to Nourie. Strutting behind him, Roshan reached towards the large double doors as he pulled them open. Allowing the fresh morning breeze to float in.

" Does this friend have a name?"

" Yes. Connor Daniels"

I could feel myself in taking a sharp breath as the memory before me disappeared like a fog. Swivelling away.

In life, they say it's okay to feel scared. To feel alone. To yearn for comfort because in those moments you realise the values of others. Of those who've pulled you from pits of darkness and held you tightly, through the storms and the thunder yet as I glanced around the dark room.

I couldn't find Roshan. He was nowhere to be seen.

The clock had striked One in the morning. The little arrow ticking by, second after second. Trying to keep pace, trying to rotate the world with it's numbers yet all I could do was stay in the past. Wanting the world to reverse and go back, just for a moment. Just to see Roshan and tell him to stop. That it'll be okay. We could make it.

Yet he was now in the cold grounds of the graveyard and I was here thousand of miles away in the dark. Wishing upon dying stars.

A cold shiver crept down my spine as I lay down on the cold bed. My gaze now flickering upwards at the plain ceiling. Closing my eyes for a brief moment, images of the last person I wanted to see flashed before me.

Connor Daniels.

I remember the day I had met him. How he casually stalled inside the large house wearing dark grey jeans and a black top. His brown hair brushed back by a baseball cap and, he had the most captivating eyes.

Central Heterochromia. Just as unique as his condition, so was he. By one glance at him, you wouldn't believe the man was a walking drug closet. He looked the type of guy who had romance novels based on him. The type you'd bring to your family dinners and introduce to your dad. The type that'd make you smile yet at the same time put you on the edge; not the type that'd kill your brother.

Roshan and Daniels were inseparable. He hated hated being called Connor, so everyone addressed him by his surname yet just to spite him. I always called him by his first name.

I sometimes wonder where the two had met but then again, Roshan was always out of the house. Escaping reality and stumbled across a crowd he shouldn't have.

They'd spend weeks and weeks away from the house yet Roshan always found it in him to phone me and Nourie and keep us up to date. Or more like tell us he was still alive.

Two years it carried on like this until one day, out of the blue Roshan came home without an explanation.

One thing I did realise, was Daniels and Roshan had gotten in to a argument and Daniels would try to ring Roshan but he wouldn't answer. He just wanted to be at home, but this time if he left home, it'd be the final time.

" Fairy you still there-?"

A cool voice came from the other end as I held on to the phone. My hands shaking and my heart dropping to my stomach.

" Don't call me that" I spat hearing him chuckle a little in the background making my blood boil.

" Oh Farya always the spitfire! You know I actually missed you and I heard your married. Congratulations!"

He bitterly spoke making me grind my teeth wishing if he was near I'd shoot him straight in the head. Even if that meant I'd serve jail all my life.

" Why are you calling me Connor. What's more left to destroy. You've killed Roshan, is it my turn next"

" I didn't kill your brother you stupid girl. Maybe if you had eyes you'll know who the real killers are. I guess that's why I called. To let you figure it all out Nancy Drew"

Daniels deep voice came from the other end and the next thing I know. The line had disconnected. I didn't know how long I sat there, for how many minutes, or how many hours but through it all. There was a cold chill floating around the room, as if to say the Pandora box would soon be opened and heaven have mercy but were all going to drown in darkness.

Standing upwards, I felt my legs stagger a little as I made my way towards the bathroom. Switching the light on, my gaze flickered towards the large shower and the glass doors reflecting my image.

Slipping out of the black dress, the cold midnight chill crept down my body as I stepped towards the shower and turned the handle on. Feeling luke warm water slap against my flesh.

Closing my eyes tightly, I raised my head a little, giving access to the water as it came on to my face and down my naked body.

Images flashed before me. Of Roshan. Of Daniels. Of Nourie and of Moustafa.

Moustafa

At the mention of his name a fresh wave of tears rolled down my face. My stomach turning. How could he do that? After everything we had been through! I mentally whispered feeling the tears roll down my face and my body shake lightly.

It was as though a volcano was erupting inside of me and my legs and arms were turning numb. I could feel my throat construct, my gaze blurry with tears.

Clasping a hand over my mouth I screamed. At the top of my lungs feeling the world spin around me. Holding tightly on to the glass handle, I didn't know how long I stayed under the shower, but enough to not feel my body anymore and that's when I knew I could get out, because I no longer wanted to feel anymore. I wanted to lose myself.

Stepping out of the shower, I wrapped a towel around my body and reached towards a nightgown from last night. Slipping on to the silky material, my wet hair strands fell on to the black nightgown. Making the material stick against my skin.

Stepping out of the bathroom, the world around me froze for a brief moment seeing the large figure standing near the desk. The man's body leaning backwards a little as his dark grey eyes stared at me.

Heat suddenly flushed on to my flesh and I found it hard to breath. Looking at the large man before me, I could see his tux was undone now hanging around his neck and his shirt unbuttoned. His raven hair was brushed backwards as he now stared at me, almost predator like making me take a step backwards.

His gaze soon fell from my face and now down my body as his eyes turned a darker shade before he closed them tightly and turned his head.

" W-What are you doing here?" I whispered, the words barely coming out of my mouth, looking straight at me, the man all of a sudden stood straight and took large steps, now standing before me.

" I'm in my room, with my wife" He spoke emphasising the word wife making me turn my face away from him, not wanting to meet his eyes.

" Don't call me that"

I muttered feeling his large hand hold on to my jaw as he brought my face near his. Those dark grey eyes now murderous, anger leaking in them.

" Why, do you deny being my wife?" He muttered angrily making me push his arm, wanting him to move, to let me breath yet he was adamant. As his hold tightened against my jaw making me gasp.

" I hate you"

I growled in anger seeing something flash in his eyes, I could see his face soften a little as he took a step back, giving me enough room to get away from him.

Turning on my heels, I walked towards the bed and sat down. Blinking the tears away, I tried breathing in to calm myself yet it was no use. My heart was beating wildly now, almost as if I had run a marathon. From the corner of my eyes, I could see Moustafa walk towards me till he now stood right before me. His tall figure heightening over my sitting one.

" I'm sorry princess. I'm so fucking sorry" He murmured almost pained as I felt him lean down, his face now inches away from mine.

Hitching in a breath, I moved backwards a little, giving us some space seeing pain flash across the man's eyes as the next thing I know. I felt his head lean down on my lap. His raven hair pooling against the black silk fabric.

For a good few moments, I remained utterly still. Unable to move. Unable to breath, till my words finally found itself and I could hear it echoing all around.

" You broke my heart Moustafa. You were supposed to be my saviour"

It was as though something, or someone had taken control of me as those words slipped through my lips. All of a sudden, I felt Moustafa body tensing as he raised his head a little, his large grey eyes staring at me through his raven locks.

" The chosen one"

I murmured staring down at him seeing the man close his eyes tightly, almost as if he was in pain.

" We can make this work Farya. Me and you" He murmured all of a sudden, a spring of hope in his words making my stomach turn as I felt ny throat tighten. My breathing halting for a moment.

" You can't make something work- which was never there to begin with"

I spoke, my shaky hands reaching towards his face. Brushing my thumb lightly across his cheek and down his jaw, the man before me had his eyes closed all of a sudden. His nostrils flaring as he inhaled sharply.

" We were never meant to be Moustafa. Me and you!" I spoke seeing him now look up at me. A ghostly like look on his face, almost as if he couldn't believe his ears.

" Your mother, your brother. Your people. They never did nor will they accept me and as for my family- "

I started moving my face away from him feeling a twist to my heart. Almost as if someone was wringing it like a cloth, drying out the last bit of hope away from it.

" They left me the moment I married you"

I chuckled dryly, the humour in my words dead yet the pain so raw it even hurt my ears.

" So you see Moustafa! We were never meant to be and even if I thought for a moment it could work. It never will"

I spoke, my voice sounding like those of a judge handing out sentence to a criminal who hadn't committed a crime but went against the law of nature. The law of the universe.

" You gave up before we even started" His deep voice came all of a sudden and it was now my turn to look down at my hands; because I knew I couldn't face him. I couldn't look at him in the eye and admit he was right and I wrong.

" Don't do this Farya. Don't give up on us so soon" He drawled out a defenceless look on his face as his hand slowly reached towards my face making me flinch a little. The act not going unnoticed by him.

Despite it all, his hand reached towards my face as he cupped my cheeks softly. The warm touch reminding me of home.

There was silence around us yet it was as though the universe had stopped all its boats. The rivers in the skies had stopped floating and the stars peeked through the clouds, all to see what was next. To hope for something that wasn't ever to be.

I shifted on the bed and I could see him stare at me for a few moments before he sat down on the bed, inches away from me.