The time to meet Jocelyn was nearing and I was heading in the direction of a public park. I had a nanotechnology disguise which hid my features until I met with the right person as I didn't want to draw attention. In the span of 2 hours since I told the team about my plan, we had found no leads or anything associated with Hydra or the red room. And so I was really looking forward to meeting Jocelyn. 1) because she might be able give us some insight on something related to the 2 organisations and 2) I will be able to repay the debt of her saving my life I owed to her from when we escaped the red room.

When i decided to escape the red room, i wasnt successfully at first. I was unfortunately caught by 2 guards. I knew the escape wouldn't have been easy with the intense guarding of the facility, but i had, had enough of the torturous place. I was doing this mission solo, as no one talked to each other in the red room, in case you were caught. Now, it wasn't forbidden to talk...I don't think, but we got punished for the littlest things in training, so why would anyone risk talking!? And if i told anybody about my plan, in case they snitched on me to get brownie points with Madame B (which if you did would probably consist of another piece of partially stale bread with dinner. Dinner consisted of a soup which had almost every nutrient you needed, stale bread and a glass of water. Ito was disgusting, but we ate because we needed the energy and didn't want to get punished for not being able to complete training). As i was caught, i tried persuading them that i was running an errand for Madame B, but they didn't buy it. And it was forbidden to be anywhere in the base where you weren't aloud. And thats when they raised their guns ready to attack. I was prepared, this was punishment for trying to escape. I wasn't going to fight them because i would rather be dead than back in the red room. And as talented as i am in combat I don't think i can fight against 2 loaded guns already aimed at me. Even though i was an asset, i still believed they would kill me as i was replaceable, or hurt me until i was on the brink of death. Whatever was going to happen with the guards i knew wouldn't end up well. But as i anticipated being shot at and the peace that come with it by closing my eyes nothing came.

As i peeled my eyes open, the guards were slumped on the floor with blood coming out of their heads. They were attacked from a weary looking brunette. It seemed she attacked from behind them and used their own guns against them by knocking them out with the ends of the guns to not draw any attention. Smart. That's what i would have done if i had the opportunity. She stared sceptically at me, and i knew this was my chance to escape and so i took it.

Nat

"Hey....um I'm trying to escape this hellhole. Want to join me? The least I can do is ask considering you saved my life!" Nat smiled sheepishly

"That's fair. My name's Natalia Romanova. What's yours? I understand that you don't trust me but I don't trust you either, and i would prefer that we were on a first name basis"

"Absolutely not."

And with that, we fought our way out. We drew the attention of many guards and attacked plenty- but not without getting out unscathed. We both had a couple of bullet wounds and bruises, but we knew how close we were to freedom and so our adrenaline kept the pain at bay. The hardest part was getting out of the entrance to the base. This was guarded with a key card which a big burly guard kept strapped to his keychain on his pocket. And so we hid behind a wall dividing a plan.

"Right, so I'm going to distract him and then you attack him, so we can get the keycard and get out of here. Deal!?"

"Okay"

And with that i ran out distracting him. Because which guard wouldn't be surprised of an agent this close to the entrance without an escort? The answer is none of them. He caught on immediately and tried calling for backup into his walkie talkie whilst also aiming his pistol at me. At this moment Jocelyn attacked him from behind but he managed to kick her away, and so i attacked. I first knocked his leg from under him, and whilst he was on his knees i knocked him in the head. He was knocked out when we got the key card. We were both surprised at how easy the last guard was to take down was as the other guards inflicted much worse on us. But then again i doubt anyone expected us to get this far.

And with freedom in front of out eyes we ran. The door opened into a tunnel which then ascended up. the base was underground. I hate to say this, but it is a smart place to put it if you don't want people finding it. As we ran thought the snowy, frosty climate of Russia, we had to climb over a fence, but fortunately we didn't fall into any other altercations.

As soon as we thought we were far enough from the base, we sat down to rest. We fell into a comfortable silence for around 20 minutes. Unfortunately we didn't have anything to clean our cuts with, and so we decided to travel further to the nearest town in order to find supplies. Imagine dying from an infection after fighting your way out of a torturous hell hole!? When we reached the first town we saw, we went straight to their pharmacy and picked up some supplies. I didn't have any money, but Jocelyn did. She had around 5000 ruble. It was enough to get gauze, bandages and tweezers. We also got some water and protein bars. It turns out she also had a phone. She had stolen these supplies on her previous missions. She obviously wasn't scared of getting caught and punished. She also had the same idea of escaping tonight, and so i believe it was fate that we were able to escape.

We then walked through the woods next to the town in order to patch ourselves up and gain our energy. It was a painful process but we came to the decision of leaving in the morning so we can get a full nights sleep and be ready for any dangers that may be lurking. As the morning came Jocelyn shook me awake and said that she was leaving, and I didn't blame her. I would be leaving straight after her once i composed myself. Before she gave me her phone number and told me to keep it and use it as my own, so she would remember it and we could contact each other if we ever needed it in the future. I happily took it. And with that hat she was running. I did the same but went the opposite way.

I made it to New York and pickpocketed a couple of people in order to buy myself a phone to insert Jocelyn's....my new number into it. I had memorised the number since we were taught to do that at an early age. I also got some food and water to keep me going. I never took more than $5 from anyone because i understand everyone has to earn to live. But it seemed that i drew too much attention to myself, because a agent from an organisation called S.H.I.E.L.D. came to me in an alleyway, and cornered me by saying how they kept tabs on me bad the red room is and how i can live a better life and remove the red from my ledger by joining his organisation. He was supposed to kill me, but persuaded me and the boss to take me on. But, it didn't take much convincing from him for me to join, which i could tell shocked him. I then told him what had happened in the past few days, leaving Jocelyn out as it was unfair to include her in business that didn't involve her. She deserved to life her own life without me messing it up.

The night before was the last time i ever saw Jocelyn, until tonight.

That man's name was Clint Barton. He went from my supervisor to my best friend....but i will never admit that to his face.

That isn't my whole past, but I've only ever talked about my past to Nick, and I don't plan on telling anyone else. It was that bad, and I don't want anyone else especially Emma going through that pain.

But since my past i have become increasingly better at attacking attackers even if they have their guns pointed at me. I also don't make stupid mistakes under pressure like i used to do. Even on missions in the red room i kept composure and was successfully, but trying to escape? No that was too much of a challenge for the infamous Black Widow i thought to myself sarcastically.

With out Jocelyn's help I would still be stuck in that hellhole and so it's very important i keep others out of it. Or in this case save the ones who have already been caught in the trap. I wish I could've helped many others, and i know its selfish, but I've been busy trying to save others. But now, this is all that matters to me. Children and women shouldn't be kept in those horrendous places. I will not stop until the red room is completely demolished.

I haven't told this to anyone, especially not Tony, but I understand the feeling in my stomach now. I know it's guilt. I don't want to admit it, because that will make me weaker than I already seem. The only thing that will make the pain go away is getting Emma back safe and sound, or die trying. No matter what happens if we find the right base, I'm prepared.

I can't wait to see Jocelyn, even if it isn't under the best circumstances. I need to show her how some confidence so she has hope. And I won't let Tony ever hear this, but he is pretty phenomenal at finding hidden things. Bruce is awesome in general.

As I neared the park I saw a familiar head of brown hair sitting on a bench with a knee bouncing up and down. I knew it was Jocelyn. As i got nearer I could see how nervous she looked.

I then sat down beside her. And I most definitely should have pulled of my disguise off sooner because if you mix a mother with a missing child, and a survivor of the red room no matter how long after they've escaped and a random person sits down next to them, and starts acting like their friend you will get either get punched, screamed at or interrogated. Fortunately Jocelyn was not in the right mind to attack me as I got bombarded with questions.

"Excuse me, who are you? What are you doing here? Why are you acting as if you know me? I've never seen you before! You better tell m-"

I'd had enough of Jocelyn worrying herself more. I couldn't take any more guilt. And so I took my disguise off. Recognition creeped up her face, and I'm pretty sure I saw a small smile creep on her lips.

"Hey Jocelyn, it's me. Now I heard of your situation and managed to get some people to help. They are the best of the best and our best chance of finding Emma"

"Jocelyn, you don't have to worry. I... uh...unfortunately haven't started a family yet. But I was thinking that you could come back to my place. And my friends could continue to help of you could give us some insight? It's ok if you can't, it's just that we're all worried about Emma"

"Well if you came back with me I could explain to you with my friends and we could catch up? You don't have to, but I feel as if it will be easier to locate Emma, I mean we all want what's best for her and we know from experience how hard it is to survive the red room without loosing your mind."

" How about you stay for 2 days, we have plenty of rooms and you help with our search and if we make no progress you go back to your own account at trying to find and help Emma?"

"

"I would never dream of it. Now let's get going. I want to find Emma as much as you"

"Hahaha. There's so much you need to catch up on" I said jokingly trying to reassure her

And with that we headed back to the avengers compound. I was a bit annoyed about Jocelyn using my old name but I realised that I never told her my new name. So I allowed it. For now. I could also feel her nerves radiating off of her. I definitely need to explain how i and the rest of the team know Emma.

I just want her back.