I rolled the joint between my fingers as I stepped over a fallen log in the Barrens. The heat of the smoke burned my lungs and I was forced to exhale, letting the grey cloud fog my vision. I checked my watch. Twenty three seconds. That's a record.

Ever since I had gotten out of hospital two days ago, I'd found myself sneaking out with my mum's old stash more often. The nightmares didn't just consume me at night, they haunted me during the day. Getting high seemed to be my only escape.

The wasp stings on my body had mostly faded but they still itched. The gauze on my face also added to the discomfort and a lot of my injuries were starting to scab over. I often found myself having to sit on my hands to refrain from picking at them.

I sat down against a tree and rubbed my eyes that I knew were turning red. My mind was going foggy and I closed my eyes as I inhaled again. I wished I could talk to my friends, but most of them were busy. The only person that I'd seen since getting out of the hospital was Bill and that was just in passing. My time in Derry was ticking.

The snap of a twig and a voice behind me brought me out of my thoughts.

"I guess old habits die hard." the voice said. I turned around to see Patrick leaning against a tree. He extended his hand, beckoning for me to pass him the joint. I complied and watched him silently.

"Am I the only one getting some serious deja vu?" he asked.

I shook my head. "You must have a thing for following girls into the woods and smoking their weed."

"Only when it's you, new girl." he replied, handing it back to me. I stood up and inhaled, blowing it out in Patrick's face as he stepped in front of me.

"You should stop calling me that. I'm moving at the end of this week, you know." I said. He paused, looking me up and down.

"Well that just means we'll have to make the most of our time together." he said, taking a step towards me. I held my hand up, stopping him.

"Where have you been the past couple of days, Patrick?" I asked.

He shrugged. "Out and about."

"I came to your house yesterday and the day before. You weren't home." I said, raising an eyebrow.

"Don't you think that makes you look a little desperate?" he replied with a smirk.

I rolled my eyes. "Well I'm sorry for wanted to check up on you, considering the last time I saw you, you were almost dead."

"I think you were closer to dying than I was, if I've heard correctly." he replied.

"Then why didn't you come see me?" I asked, trying to hide my frown. A whole week had passed with me lying in the hospital bed, hoping that every time the doctor told me I had a visitor, it was Patrick. But it never was.

"I knew you were okay." he shrugged in response.

"Whatever." I said before taking another hit. I was starting to feel lightheaded.

"Aw, are you mad at me?" he teased.

"No." I said a bit too quickly. "I just think you should have come seen me while I was in hospital, especially since the reason I was in there was largely because of you." I pointed to my face.

His expression lit up and he took a step closer to me, eyes roaming my face. He brought his hand up to my mouth, lifting my upper lip with his thumb. "Nice tooth." he said with a smirk. "It suits you."

I swatted his hand away. "Yeah, well it cost me a fortune." I replied, letting my tongue roam over the silver tooth. He didn't take his eyes off me and I matched his stare with one of my own. After a minute, I looked away in defeat. He let out a breathy chuckle.

"You didn't answer my question." I said. He was close to me now. We weren't touching, but we were close enough that I could feel his body heat.

"What was the question again?" he asked.

"Where have you been? Were you hanging out with your friends?"

He scratched his chin. "No. Funny thing is, I haven't seen any of them since I've been back. Now that I think about it, they're probably dead."

I shook my head. "Not funny, Patrick."

"What? It's probably true." he replied. I rolled my eyes, lifting my hand to bring the joint to my mouth but Patrick snatched it out of my fingers before I could.

"Hey!" I exclaimed as he dropped it to the ground and stood on it. "I wasn't done with that."

"Yes you were." he replied, moving closer to me so that his body was pressed against mine. I leaned my back further into the tree.

"No I wasn't." I replied, blinking slowly. His eyes were trained on my mouth and he licked his lips.

"Yes, you were." he said before bring his face down to mine.

An image of him slamming my face against the wall invaded my mind and I had to turn away. His lips made contact with the side of my neck, but he didn't seem to care. I squeezed my eyes shut as he sucked on my neck, his tongue flitting out.

"Patrick." I moaned. "Stop."

He ignored me and kept eating away at the skin on my neck. I saw another flashback of him with his hands around my throat and I almost felt as if I was really being choked. I didn't know if it was the weed that was making the flashbacks so intense, but I had to push Patrick away.

He stumbled back slightly, looking at me with disbelief. "What's wrong?"

"I... I can't." I choked. "I can't stop thinking about what happened in the sewer, how you tried to kill me."

He didn't say anything for a while, he just stared. "I wouldn't have done that if I knew it was you, you know. I didn't think it was you." he said finally.

"I know, I just-" I stared.

"I'm sorry." he cut me off, bringing a hand to my cheek. He didn't seem to care about the rough texture of the gauze and scabs. "I'm sorry."

I placed my hand over his, holding it to my face. "I know." I whispered, looking up into his dark blue eyes.

I couldn't hold myself back anymore. I tilted my chin up and he brought his down, his lips brushing mine. Not innocently, like a tease, but hot, fiery and demanding. I felt another image rise up in the back of my mind, threatening to pull me away, but our mouths connected with a hungry force that knocked the wind out of me.

My hands wound themselves around his neck as he pressed me harder into the tree behind us. I felt one of his hands slide down my waist as the other curled itself in my hair. "Lara." he breathed and I moaned when his tongue slipped into my mouth. I tasted peppermint and smoke.

His hand grabbed my ass and I lifted my leg up, wrapping it around him. We clawed at each other as if we couldn't get closer enough and the tree dug painfully into my back. I didn't care, though. The world could be in flames and I wouldn't notice.

I felt his hardness through the thin material of my shirt and I moaned, pulling him closer. He was the only thing solid in the world that was now spinning on its end. Picking up the pace, he roamed his hands over every inch of skin under my shirt. I let out a gasp as they slipped under my bra.

"Patrick." I breathed as his lips moved from my mouth to my neck, sucking on my sweet spot. My knees started to shake but his hands on me kept me from falling.

I moved my hand downwards, sliding down his lean chest and stopping at the waistband of his jeans. I pulled down the zipper deliberately slow before I slipped my hand into his jocks. He let out a deep groan that vibrated through my whole body.

I kept my hand where it was, still moving as he pulled away. His face was flushed and his eyes were closed in pleasure and pain. "I don't..." he breathed, hitching when I squeezed. "I don't have a... condom."

Patrick had taken control of all my senses. All I could see was him, all I could hear was him, all I could touch, taste and smell was him. I was so intoxicated by the presence of Patrick that I whispered, "I don't care."

He let out a groan and our lips came crashing back together with a fire that could light up the whole of Derry.

I was home.