Was raised as a brutal child.

My village, Blood of Ferals, renown for being fast and dangerous warriors ate mostly meat. It was to be really strong.

My parents were respectful villagers, who sadly passed away on the same day.

It was one of the attacks and I was so little.

I remember thinking they’ll actually come back, laugh and pat my head. Telling me it was a silly joke.

They never did.

My grandma took it from there.

“Listen, kid.” she’d say.

“There are two kinds of people in this world.”

“People that care. And people that don’t give a fuck.”

“You decide the one you’d be.”

Grandma was more like a badass. She'd wear an eye-patch like a pirate and smoke leaves to make her thoughts disappear.

I didn’t know what she tried to forget, but whatever it was certainly wasn’t good.

Grandma worked with the sea, selling illegal goods.

When she was however free, she would take me to the village training ground. Make me see the bloodsheds and vigorous training.

I vividly recalled how a man took a hold of another, hitting his head several times till crimson flowed out.

Using my hands to cover my eyes, I almost cried from the terror.

But she made me uncover my eyes, each time I covered them from the brutal violence.

When we were home, she’d make dinner. We’ll sit and eat.

Sometimes, she dragged me along to her deals and made me watch at a corner.

When the buyers would question her bringing a little kid, she simply told them to shut up and have respect for elders.

One of those days, a group got angry. They tried to silence her but obviously messed with the wrong person.

Last thing I remembered was us walking away from the scene, crossing over bloody bodies.

“For a start, life is fucked up.” she’d tell me.

“You can’t do anything about it. Neither can I. This is why you have to choose standing up for yourself, little bean.”

Little bean.

That was the nickname she had given me overtime.

I slept that night with her words and the event of that day on my mind.

The next day, she took me with her to start my training.

Grandma made me work hard night and day. Fighting people that were not my size.

I remember them beating me black and blue.

Surprisingly, when they did, she wasn’t moved.

“Clean yourself up.” she’d say.

“You still have a long way to go.”

Just when I started to improve, the time for the choosing came.

Now I didn’t know how hard my parents death hit me.

But I had no friends. Except Maria.

She wasn’t really much to show the world. Because she was a chicken.

Who lived with me through time, though. I made sure we didn’t kill her, hiding her when Grandma asked.

Other kids saw me as an outcast. I was more like an angry child, with an energetic aura.

“Little bean!”

One mocked me as I passed to fetch water. He was a bulky size. Maybe that was why he thought he could pick on me.

“What did you just say?”

I glared harshly at him.

“Little bean! What are you going to do about it, huh?!”

Tugging hard at my hair, he yelled.

I remembered dropping the bucket.

Everything else was a blur. Except that he passed out from the next thing I did.

Since that day, no one ever dared mess with the outcast angry kid.

I became more of that which was a detrimental effect on my side.

When the choosing came, they knew just who to send.

It was me, Tania.

The angry kid.

Last time I saw Grandma, she was really old. However, still living life to the fullest and drinking a lot.

Grandma recently took a gambling hobby.

She made me drop all of my savings, when I was leaving.

I knew she wasn’t a good person. Certainly not like other Grandmas… but I loved her.

…

When I was shipped to the castle, a man forcefully tried to rape me.

I murdered him in cold-blood instantly.

Not that I wasn’t familiar with men.

Someone took my virginity back in my village. I couldn’t even recall his name.

However, it was a mistake and he meant nothing, but that wasn’t the best experience of my life.

I withdrew from the world of men since then.

My thoughts were programmed differently, from how I saw it. I bore a secret no one could know.

A dirty little secret.

Girls liked boys.

But I liked girls.

It was just a never ending attraction for me.

I was never interested in the other gender. Took a long time before I figured that out.

Her pale skin, raven dark hair, red lips and diamond shaped face.

So elegant and radiant in what she did.

I had a crush on Ava since the first time I laid my eyes on her.

I would dream of laying on her and pleasing her…

Confessing my feelings.

The reason I was jealous of her being alone with the beast, was because of her not him.

I wanted to go back to my village after surviving this, not be his Queen in anyway.

That was until Satandra caught my attention.

While Ava was more of a goody two shoes and manipulative person, Satandra was more like my soulmate.

She made me laugh, even with the thoughts that I might die soon.

I know I am not in a good position to judge people.

But simply put, I fell in love with her.

“Why don’t we end all of them one by one?”

Satandra would suggest demonically.

“That would hasten the choosing process.”

She wasn’t a good influence to me.

And I loved her.

Thus, I couldn’t say no to her wishes.

I think she knew of my attraction towards Ava.

She was into girls too, and she definitely knew the difference.

“I pick her first.” she pointed to her saying.

I bolted my eyes in surprise as we decided which girl would join our little team.

“W-why h-her?”

“I want to be sure of your love for me.” she’d say.

“Really? That’s not necessary…”

“Just do it.” she seethed.

“No? no... You’re sick.”

I recall walking out angrily.

I was the one to move forward when people dared not too.

I’d kill anyone who was an obstacle to getting what I wanted.

But Ava? My first love?

Never.

That was a big no.

At least that was what I thought, until someone summoned me.

She wanted me to end her with my team, after hearing the rumors of our powerfulness.

It made me wonder what she did to these people, who wanted her dead.

“Tania, what are you—”

“Quiet!”

Those words made me want to hate myself. I never even got to tell her what I felt.

I was too much of a coward.

To please Satandra, I sadly took the lead.

No one noticed my tears when her neck was slit. Crying profusely at the sight of someone I assumed would be my woman, in blood…

“See you in Hades, Ava.”

And perhaps…

Just perhaps…

I’ll tell you what I really feel for you.

***

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