Chapter 6-Dark Desires-Lunch? Or Christening the car?

When I woke up the next morning, it was definitely on a better note than the last. Although Christian and I had planned to meet up for lunch yesterday, we weren't able to because Adam had called for an emergency meeting, so we had decided to meet up today.

I was...excited.

Everything about him called to me, and I definitely never ignored my instincts. On my way to work I decided to call Derek. I needed to go to his place and get all my things that were still at his house. I knew it would be harder for him to move on if all of my things were still there. Constant reminders were not good for either of us, I was his first Dominant and I knew that that would be hard to forget and definitely left a lasting impression, but I didn't want it to affect his future.

When I arrived at work I got the usual glares that had started since I had begun to see Christian, but I didn't let that bother me. When I got to office, I sat down and stared at my phone.

Was it really appropriate to call Derek? I wasn't sure if it was to soon or not. Derek had a...complicated past. He was looking for someone to take of him and I was looking for someone to take care of. I helped him through his abandonment issues and then I so maliciously dumped him, probably bringing all those memories back.

I winced at the thought. I promised him I would care of him, and I didn't. Before I could second guess myself I plucked up all my courage and finally dialed his number.

He answered on the second ring.

"Hello?" He answered breathlessly.

"Derek,hey, it's Emilia." He was of breath and it was not even eight in morning, I swear if he was with someone I definitely had the worst timing.

"Emilia... I didn't think you would call." He sounded hesitant.

"Derek, if it isn't a good time I can call back later."

"Why wouldn't it be a good time?" He questioned.

I don't know, if you're with someone right now, do you really want to be on the phone with your ex-Dominant?

"It's really...early?" Was that really the best I could come up with?

He laughed lightly, "Em, you know that I always am up by seven."

I know, you used to make me breakfast.

"Right, sorry." I had no idea what was wrong with me today. There was an awkward silence on the other end.

"You're really cute when you're shy...it's unusual for you." He said, amusement clear in his voice.

I scoffed," Derek." I dragged his name out.

He chuckled again.''Em..."

Alright I could do this, it was better to get it over quick. Like ripping a bandage off, right?

"Can I come over and get my things sometime soon?" I said quickly. I could feel the playful atmosphere that was around change into something else. There was complete and utter silence on the other end. I didn't know if he still there.

''Derek?" I said quietly after a few minutes of utter silence.

"I didn't even think about that." He said quietly.

"I'm sorry." I didn't know what else to say.

"No," He rushed out quickly, "It's completely fine. Can you come right now?"

He wanted me to come right now? " Don't you have company?" I said before my brain could keep up with my mouth.

"Why would you assume that?" He sounded upset. Shit.

" I didn't mean it like that-"

"Yes you did." He was right, I did.

"You were breathless when you answered the phone...I just assumed..." I trailed off.

"Don't assume Em, I haven't been with anyone since you, sex is the last thing on my mind right now." He was definitely upset.

"Right, I'm sorry."

"I think you have apologized more in this phone conversation than you have in our entire relationship." He said jokingly, a sad undertone his voice that made my heart clench.

I almost apologized again, but thought better of it. "You want me to come now?"

That sounded a lot dirtier than I thought.

"Come now, wait , aren't you at work?"

"Yeah, I am. I did most of my editing this weekend, so don't worry, Adam won't mind." I smiled.

"Okay, Em, so I'll see you soon?" He questioned.

"Yeah," I sighed "I'll be there in an hour." I hung before he could reply.

I took a deep breath. That could have gone a lot worse, right? I wondered if we would still be able to be friends after this. I knew that right now it was too soon, but hopefully one day we could. Derek treated me right, and for the time that we were together and I got to really know him, I absolutely adored his personality.

He was fun. He had issues, but so did I. I mean, didn't everyone? Taking care of him reminded me of Mason, his need of constant approval really made me like him, because in a sick, twisted way it reminded me of the son I lost.

After checking my emails to make sure I had no new assignments I needed to edit, I went to Adams office to inform him that I was leaving.

He was in a meeting so I left a message with his secretary to tell him that I was leaving and if he needed to contact me with anything, I had my phone with me.

I was extremely grateful with the job I had. Bryan had actually gotten me the job as soon as I graduated from collage. I was still under his...care at the time. He wanted me to have to have a job that paid well and that had flexible hours. Even though I had an office, a really nice office at that, I definitely didn't need it. Because I edited works before they went for publishing, I could easily do it from home. Most other editors had years of experience but because of Bryan's influence I was hired on the spot, and when I could keep up the work load they decided to give a permanent position.

I didn't know how I really felt about Bryan's influence in my life. He had destroyed part of me, but built me up into what I was today. I wasn't really sure what to think about it so I didn't dwell on it.

I drove down the familiar road to Derek's house. His house was definitely a beautiful piece of architecture. Even though Derek lived alone, he lived in a five bedroom luxury house that had four bathrooms, a Jacuzzi and three garages.

He often had family and friends come to visit him, and being a pro football player, he could definitely afford it.

He also wanted a big family, at least four kids, I knew that.

I pulled up into his driveway,my stomach clenching with nervousness. I stepped out of my car and took a good look at the front of his house, hopefully this was the last time I would come here.

"Em!" And there he was in nothing but sweats. I didn't look at his body, but rather at his green eyes that seems to brighten at he sight of me.

I was engulfed in one of his bear hugs, his bare skin warm against me.

"Derek, hey." I smiled at him, discreetly untangling myself from him. His body was so warm and hard, I didn't want to get sucked in only to break his heart...again.

"Come on." He said, leading me up the stairs to his bedroom. When we got to his room, it was a familiar sight. A large canopy style bed in the middle, with a black headboard behind it. One the sides of the bed were two large black nightstands. The silk sheets were a dark maroon and there was a large TV directly in front of the bed. Just from looking at this bedroom it was clear that Derek lived in luxury.

I walked to his walk-in closet to see at least half of all the clothes I own mixed in with his. I sighed as i begun picking them out from in between his.

"Do you need help?" Derek asked, standing so close behind me that I could feel his breath blowing softly against my neck.

"Yes." I sighed, "Could you at least put on a shirt please?" I may have broken up with him but his body was definitely something to see.

He chuckled, "Sure."

Once he had put a shirt and I could finally focus at the task at hand, Derek helped me put all my clothes into a bag that I had brought with me. When we were finished with the clothng, we moved into the bathroom. I didnt realize how much this house was to accomidate me as well as him until I was packing it all up. I had everything from my shampoos and conditiors to shaving creams and the lush bath booms i loved so much.

Almost an hour and half later we were finally finished. The bag was filled up and I still had more things to pack up.

"Derek, can I borrow a bag?" I said, looking at some of my work stuff that I needed to pack up.

He followed my gaze and chuckled, " Sure, I'll be right back." He walked out of the room and went to find a bag.

My eye caught on a small leather book. My curiosity got the best of me, because it was the same kind of diary that I had except that this one looked newer and less used.

Emilia

She's simply so beautiful. She's so...unique.

There's something about her...

Everything with her has an adrenaline rush...she craves it and ...now I do too.

She's like my air now, she's everything to me now, not anyone but her exists in my world, and I'm perfectly ok with that.

Because she brought me back.

"Em, are you okay?" Derek questioned as I snapped his diary closed, my tears were falling from my eyes at a steady pace now.

"Oh," He rushed to me, cradling me to him and he saw the book that I had my fist clenched around tightly.

"I was going to give you that today." He said quietly, wiping my tears away. I sniffled.

"When did you start writing this?" I asked.

"The first time you took...some of the pressure of. The first day I let someone else take control. The first person I trusted enough to do it, was you...and you became the center of my world." He told me, his green eyes were smoldering now. His hands cupped my face, forcing me face him.

I probably knew it before he did, but he was going to kiss me. I watched as his eyes moved from mine to my lips, then back up and finally settled again on my lips. He leaned forward an his lips touched mine. He moaned and leaned into me, his big body caging me in between him and the wall that was a lot closer than I thought.

"Stop." I said against his lips, when his hands began to slip under my bra.

"Please." He said against me, his breathing harsh and labored, "I need to feel you." His hands cupped my breasts, his thumb running over my painfully hard nipples, causing little spasms down straight to my core.

"Derek no." I don't know where I found my willpower, but I was glad it came when it did. I pushed him away and took a deep breath.

"Why not?" He asked.

"There are so many reasons. We can't keep going in circles again. You deserve better, I came into your house today and you know what? I remember why you chose this house specifically! You want a family, you want kids and a happy ending. I can't give you that, you know that. What would happen if I did? You would have a family, but I would resent that. It just isn't me. I fucking warned you, way before even started this contract and you signed those papers, Derek!" I was out of breath by the time I was done, but Derek needed to hear the truth.

"You would resent me? Our kids?" He asked, his eyes wide and childlike.

"Our hypothetical kids? The kids that don't and won't exist? You know I cannot have another kid. I failed one, I wont do it again."

"I'm sorry, I was out of line doing that Em." His shoulders slumped, but I needed to get out of here.

"Can you help me get these bags into my car? I have a lunch meeting I need to go to."

We were silent as we both picked bags, he took the heavier one and put them into the back of my car. We checked the house once more in case I missed anything.

"Keep this, I want you to know how much you mean to me." Derek said, handing me his diary as I got into my car.

"Are you sure?"

"I want you to know."

I sighed, "Okay."

"Bye Derek." I said softly, standing on my toes even in heels to reach his cheek, I kissed him softly.

"I love you." Three words I wouldn't be able to return.

"I know." I smiled softly and I shut the door as I drove away.

When I got back to my office there was sticky note under my door.

Come to my office when you get back from wherever you went to.

777678

-Christian.

Straight to the point. I didn't know what the numbers were meant to be though. A code for something? I blanched when I looked at the time. I was at Derek's house for almost three hours. I also had my plans with Christian set up for almost forty-five minutes ago.

"Diana, where is Mr.Ruxin's office?" I asked as politely as I could.

"Why do you need to know?" She replied rudely, her brown eyes looking coldly at me.

I was really not in the mood to deal with her today.

"Where is his goddamn office Diana?" I hissed.

She blanched. "Top floor."

"Which office on the top floor?"

"His whole is the top floor."

Alright then. Once I got into elevator and I reached the top floor, a little screen popped up and asked me for a six digit pin.

777678

I put the number in, and the screen turned green before the door opened. Despite working here for almost a year and half, I haven't actually been to the to the top floor of this building. It was absolutely...magnificent.

Everything was modern and either white, glass or a mixture of solid colors. I unfortunately didn't take the time to study the architecture as I was already late. I walked into Christians office and was once again stunned at the view...of him.

He was in a well fitted suit that emphasized his masculine physique and was a charcoal grey, his black hair was messily styled, making my fingers ache to run through it.

His ice blue-grey eyes were staring right at me

"You know,'' he smirked, "I usually don't wait for people."

"I'm sorry I'm late, I had to take care of something." I smiled tentively.

"Oh? Mind sharing?" He said, standing up and walking around his desk to stand in front of me.

"I was with an ex. We needed to get some things sorted."

For some reason his smirk dropped, ''And is everything sorted?"

Was everything sorted? I knew I was bound to see Derek again, we were in the same social circles, he lived less than a mile from me and he had a share in Rein industries, but as for our personal relationship, that was over.

"Yes, we're done."

"So you're single then?''

"Yeah,I guess I am." I smiled.

''And I was hoping you would forgive me for being late, if lunch was on me?"

He grinned, and my breath caught. He was really a beautiful man, there was not one physical fault I could find with him.

"Would you like to order in or go out?" He questioned.

What did I want to do? Other than him of course. After my stressful morning, I wanted to go out, see the city. I loved the livelihood of New York. I wondered if he had ever seen the city.

"You know, whenever I come to New York, it's for business, I have never seen the sights." He said, winking at me, this man was really something else.

"Okay, okay. Let me take you sightseeing." I chuckled.

He grinned at me, showing his straight pearly whites. After he closed down his office we made our way to my car, after ten minutes of arguing playfully about whose car we were going to take. My argument was that I knew the area and I would feel more comfortable driving my car than his.

It was true, the was no way I was going to drive a Lamborghini Veneno. Not only were those cars exteemly expensive and made me nervous, they attracted a lot of attention. Both Christian and I were well known, him even more than myself. We didn't need to attract more attention.

"What time do I need to have you back by?" I asked as we got the car.

"I'm done for day." He said looking at me. He chuckled at my expression. "I'm the boss, I decide at what time I finish." I couldn't argue with that logic.

'Alrigh, food or the wonderful sights New York has to offer first?"

"Hmm," He looked thoughtful for a minute, then he looked at me, his eyes darkening and his voice husky. ''I'm hungry."

With just those two words it seems the atmosphere had changed. I knew that he wasn't referring to food. Since the first me I had met him at the event less than two weeks ago there had been a spark, sexual energy around us. I had too much going on to act on it, with Derek, Bryan...but I didn't have those problems anymore.

I pulled up outside one of my favorite restaurants and turned the engine off. We were both quiet. Simply staring at each other, his beautiful blue-grey clashing against mine. We were both oblivious to the people walking by outside. My windows were tinted one way, I could see outside but others couldn't see inside the car.

I don't know who made the first move, but at this moment I didn't care. I seemed to have unbuckled my seat-belt at the same time that Christian reached out for me, pulling me out of my seat roughly and onto his lap.

Our lips clashed against each other furiously, my arms curling around his neck and bringing him closer to me. His mouth was warm as he forced my lips open and his tongue touched mine. Despite myself, I moaned. He tasted of coffee and chocolate, and it tasted amazing.

His hands went under my top, but he didn't make any move to touch my breasts like any other man would do, instead his big hands caressed my bare hips, running over the tattoo he didn't even know was there. The kiss slowed, his lips moving slowly against mine. His touch seemed to burn, he way he was holding me was so different. His wasn't rough, or holding too tightly instead he seemed to be touching me not because he wanted keep me there, but because he was enjoying the feel of my skin against his hands. I liked it, I liked it a lot.

When we finally broke apart, we were both breathing heavily. I opened my eyes slowly, leaning back from him and meeting his eyes.

"So," he said conversationally, "You were hungry too?"

I don't know why, I found this hilarious. I laughed, it wasn't forced or fake, I laughed because he was so perfect and he was funny.

He stared at me with a smirk playing on his lips as I erupted into laughter, but his face turned strained and this hands that were still under my top and were on my hips tightened.

"Uhm..." He said, he smiled sheepishly.

I felt it then, even through my jeans. My laughter had caused me to rub against his very impressive bulge that was currently straining against his pants.

"Oh," I looked down, ''Oops."

He smiled and pulled me back against him, pressing his lips back against mine. He kissed me softly and deeply, our tongues intertwining as my body relaxed against him. I slipped my hands through his curls, fisting them at the base of his neck. His hair was like silk, I could honestly run my hands through it all day...

This time I was the one who pulled away as an upleasant thought surfaced in my head. I pulled back.

"Christian," I said, remembering the exquisite blond, " You have a girlfriend."

He raised an eyebrow, but made no move to let me off his lap. " I do?"

"The blond at the charity event last week," I insisted, "Uhm...Ashley! Or something like that."