The days drag on without Max by my side. It feels like each day gets easier yet harder at the same time. Being apart from him still hurts like a bitch, but it's a little easier to manage the pain every morning I wake up. On the other hand, knowing it's getting easier to be away from him makes it hurt that much more. I don't want it to get easier. I don't want it to exist at all. I don't want this pain of missing Max to become the new normal.

I spend my nights curled up in Max's bed, the blankets enveloping me in his scent. It's one of the only ways to satisfy the constant drive for him inside of me. It's the closest I'm able to physically get to him. Mara stays in the guest room across the hall, only ever leaving my side when we go to sleep.

We spend lots of time with Molly and Mason. The four of us watch movies in the basement, go swimming, play on the playground, and color. We color a lot. Molly has become almost as attached to me as Mara is. She still doesn't talk much, but Mason fills the silence enough for the both of them.

My stomach is slowly growing. If I listen closely enough, I can hear a faint heartbeat. I'm up most nights with my hands resting on my bump, the steady thump-thump of the heartbeat lulling me into a half state of sleep. I feel like I'm never completely asleep. It's too hard to let myself drift off when there's a constant worry for Max in my mind.

On the second full day of Max being gone, I made a countdown until the solar eclipse. Half of the days are crossed out now, big red X's drawn in each box at the end of each day. Fourteen more days. If we pull this off, fourteen more days until Max is back in my arms.

I'm still laying in bed, although I don't know what time it is. I'm sure it's at least eleven, but I haven't checked my phone yet to really know. Getting out of bed is the hardest part of the day. Once I force myself to stand up, it's easier to move around and do things. It's just getting up and knowing I have to do it all over again.

The bedroom door flys open, and Mason comes rushing in in a blur. He launches himself onto the bed, and the action reminds me of Carter. Speaking of Carter, the two of them would make fantastic friends. Maybe tomorrow I'll bring Mason and Molly to my house, and we can all go swimming in our backyard.

"Brynn, wake up!" Mason urges, gently shaking my body as if I wasn't already awake.

It puts a smile on my face as I say, "Okay, I'm up! I'm up!" The laugh that escapes his mouth after I sit up causes my smile to grow.

"After lunch can you take me and Molly to get frozen yogurt?" he asks, bouncing up and down on his knees. It makes me laugh.

"Yes, but only if you go wake Mara up now," I tell him.

Mason doesn't waste any time in launching himself off the bed and out the bedroom door. I hear the bedroom door across the hall swing open, and his voice yell, "Mara! You have to wake up!"

Now that I'm alone, the loneliness of Max's absents hits me again. Not wanting to fall into that hole today, I force myself to swing my legs over the edge of the bed. It's a lot easier said than down. My legs feel like they way a hundred pounds a piece, and moving them is nearly impossibly.

Once my feet are settled on the floor, I stand up and walk into the bathroom to pee. I got lucky in the morning sickness department. I've never had a rude awakening in the morning where I need to bolt and barely make it to the toilet.

I pee, brush my teeth, and roughly to try to comb through my hair with my fingers. I give up and throw it into a messy top knot instead.

I change out of Max's boxers and t-shirt and put on my own pair of shorts and a tank top. As I leave Max's room, I hear Mason and Mara downstairs. I go to meet them, and they're sitting at the kitchen table with Molly. Julie's making sandwiches in the kitchen for us all to eat. I sit down at the table, and Molly doesn't waste a second in crawling onto my lap. While we wait, I start French braiding one side of her hair, the silkiness making it easy to do without a comb. She sits patiently the entire time.

"Here you guys go," Julie says, placing four plates in front of the four of us at the table. She grabs her own and joins us. I finish braiding the first side of Molly's hair and tie it off before digging into lunch.

Mason finishes his sandwich in three bites, his cheeks puffed up as he quickly chews and swallows. "Done!" he proclaims loudly. "Can we go get frozen yogurt now?"

Julie laughs, "Mase, be patient. Let everyone else finish their lunch first." He nods and hops off the chair, grabbing his Transformers coloring book and crayons from the side table.

Molly slowly but surely nibbles down her sandwich, and I quickly gulp my two down so I can finish braiding her hair. Mara eats hers while quietly talking to Mason about their favorite Transformers.

When I tie off the second braid for Molly and she finishes eating her sandwich, Mason doesn't waste a second in asking if we can go for frozen yogurt. "Everyone's done eating! Let's go!" he says loudly running to the front door and strapping his sandals on his feet. I laugh and set Molly down, letting her grab my hand as we follow Mason to put our shoes on. Mara's right behind us.

I grab the keys to Julie's car on the way out to the garage. Molly and Mason crawl into the back seat and buckle themselves in, and Mara and I hop in the front. "Can you find the nearest frozen yogurt place?" I ask her as I start the car and buckle myself in.

"Already on it," Mara grins, her phone already out in front of her. I back out of the garage and pull out of the driveway, starting down the tree-lined street. Siri's voice suddenly fills the car, directing me a to a frozen yogurt place fifteen minutes away. It's the same chain of the place Mara and I go to back home.

"Mara, can you play music?" Mason asks, leaning forward as far as he can with his seatbelt still across his body.

"Sure dude, what do you want to listen to?" Mara asks, grabbing her phone from the center console and starting to connect it to the car through Bluetooth.

"I don't care. I just like to listen to music," he says,

and I see him shirt through the rear view mirror.

"Alrighty," Mara grins, scrolling through her music to find something appropriate for us to listen to. It's not long before One Direction is playing through the speakers.

"Nice," I laugh. I look at Mason, and he looks happy with the music choice. I don't know who wouldn't be happy with One Direction. They're so upbeat, and listening to their music never fails to put me in a good mood. Even with Max being gone and the ache in my chest becoming a consistent part of me, What Makes You Beautiful is lifting my spirits.

I look at Molly, and she's silently looking out the window. She's lightly bobbing her head to the music, though, and the faintest of smiles is playing on her lips.

I pull into the parking lot of the frozen yogurt shop, and Mason is jumping out of the car at the same time I'm putting it into park. Mara and I laugh, and she rushes out toe catch up with him. I take my time with Molly, and we follow Mara and Mason into the shop.

"Brynn, how much can we get?" Mason asks, already grabbing the bowl for himself.

"As much as you want," I smile, ruffling his mess of dark curls as I grab my own bowl.

"Sweet!" he says loudly, and he runs off to the different flavors of yogurt. I stay by Molly's side as she tries to decide what flavor she wants.

"I only want one flavor of yogurt," she says quietly. "I don't want to mix any of them."

"Okay," I nod, bending down to be at her level. "What flavors do you like?"

"Birthday cake or salted caramel," she tells me. "I don't know which one I want."

"What kind of toppings do you want to get?" I ask her.

"Just sprinkles. I don't want to get too many toppings."

"Rainbow sprinkles or chocolate sprinkles?"

She thinks for a moment and then says, "Rainbow."

"Then you should get birthday cake," I tell her. She nods, and she walks up to the machine to start filling her bowl. I look at the array of flavors with no idea on where to start. I would normally get peanut butter flavored yogurt with chocolate chips and reece's peanut butter cups, but my baby is craving something else. I just don't know what that something else is.

I watch as Mason fills his bowl with chocolate and vanilla swirl, and then he starts piling it high with all kinds of toppings. It's the exact same creation is what Max got when we got frozen yogurt a month ago.

My heart hurts as I watch him. There's not a doubt in my mind that Max taught him how to make it. It's the exact kind of thing Max would do, and Mason looks up to his big brother.

I tear my eyes away from Mason and figure out what I want. Eventually, once the rest of my crew is only waiting on me, I fill my bowl with a mix of birthday cake, peanut butter, cookie dough, and cookies n' cream, and I top it with reece's peanut butter cups, Oreos, rainbow sprinkles, and chocolate chips.

What the baby wants, the baby gets.

I pay for all of our frozen yogurts, and we go outside to sit down. The sun is is warm on my skin, and there's not a cloud in the sky. "How do we feel about going swimming?" I ask Molly and Mason, deciding to go to my house to swim today. The day is only going to get hotter, so there's nothing better to do than go swimming. Plus, I haven't seen my family in two weeks. It's about time I go back to visit.

"Yes! I want to go swimming!" Mason cheers. He has chocolate smeared across his face, and I reach over with a napkin to wipe it off.

"We can go swim in my pool at my house," I tell them.

"Yes! I want to see your room and your mommy and daddy!" Mason smiles. I laugh at his eagerness.

I mind link my dad and Lacey to let them know I'm coming over this afternoon with Molly and Mason. It'll be nice to be around my family, and hopefully it'll help me take my mind off of Max.

Hopefully.