Right before Chester and I were getting ready to leave, Cody called Chester back inside to do something, so I stood out on the sidewalk that lead to the front door and waited for him. The air was still warm but I could feel the slight bite behind the breeze that occasionally swept through.

The door behind me opened, and shut, and without turning around I said, "Ready to go?"

"Actually," a voice that was not Chester's said from behind me, "I'm not going with you, although I'd like to. I thought maybe we could chat," Beck said as he walked in front of me.

I bit my lip and nodded, "Okay?"

"I'm really not gay, you know this right?" his eyes begged me to believe him.

I cracked a smile and took a few steps back and leaned against the door frame, "I admit I had a moment of panic when I thought you were, but I know that you aren't. Chester was just teasing you," I said, looking at the toes of my combat boots.

Beck shifted in front of me, and crossed his arms. I risked a glance up only to catch him grinning down at me, "You were worried about me being gay?" he uncrossed his arms and put one on the door frame above my head, looking down at me with mischief in his blue eyes, "Why's that?"

I swallowed, searching for the answer, and not coming up with anything solid. My thoughts were a mess, and so I decided to deflect, my eyes lowering to something I had noticed before but never really paid attention to. It wasn't hard to not look at though, as it was usually hidden underneath his clothes.

"That's a neat necklace," I said, focusing in on it. The black cord hung neatly on his neck, a green stone looking thing hung off of it, and as took in the details, it seemed like there was a childlike drawing of a sun on it, where the cord attached, "where'd you get it?"

Beck stiffened before the hand not against the door frame drifted up to touch the smooth pendant, "My mother," he said, looking down at it as he drew it away from his chest, he flipped it around so that he could see the sun drawing, which exposed the foreign words to me.

"Is that Japanese?" I asked out loud, and then felt my cheeks heat up for intruding in on his personal business in the first place.

Beck looked away from the necklace, to me, and seemed to study me. He looked deep in thought, and his eyes left me feeling like I couldn't move. After what felt like forever, he blinked, and whatever he had been thinking about, had been decided.

"Here, let's sit and I'll tell you all about it," he said, as he moved and sat on the grass in the front yard.

There it was, another choice I could make for myself. I had been given plenty of choices recently, but this one felt like a test more than a choice. I could sit here with Beck and listen to him talk about his past, or I could say no, and run off with Chester, and say no to getting to know this wonderful person even better.

I didn't really even have to think about it, and as I settled into the grass next to him, I heard the slight crinkle of the chocolate bar in my back pocket.

"What's that?"

I shook my head as I pulled it out, my cheeks felt hot and I kept my eyes on the wrapper, "Something I've been saving," I murmured, and then looked up at him, he was watching me, "do.. do you want some?"

He shook his head, and leaned back on his hands, "No, I can't. You're saving it, you should save it."

I smiled, "We're never promised tomorrow," I said, and opened up the chocolate before he could protest. As I said the words, I realized just how true they were. It was silly to save the chocolate bar, when at any moment I could die. There was no guaranteed future. Something about the realization nagged at me and made me feel something I couldn't quite place, so I shrugged it off and shoved the feeling to the back of my mind.

Beck and I ate our chocolate chunks in relative quiet, and while I was still savoring my last piece, Beck cleared his throat, "So I guess you're wondering why I keep such a material thing in a world like this, right?" he didn't wait for an answer, his eyes set on the road, "It's sort of a reminder."

I settled in where I was sitting, watching his face as he spoke.

"My mother was a kind woman. She was a saint really," he said, his voice going soft at the memory, "she cared for her two boys, me and my brother Emmerson, even though our dad was a bad man and ended up serving a long time in prison. But despite how hard it was, we lived a comfortable life. She worked two jobs, and my brother and I worked our hardest so that she wouldn't have to pay for college," he sucked in a breath and leaned forward, rubbing his hands together, "she made sure to always tell us that she loved us, even if we were in a fight and she was going to the store, she said 'I love you, now and forever.'"

He paused, and I kept quiet, not wanting to ruin the moment, or make him stop talking in case he was going to start up again. I saw his eyes fill with water, only for him to fight back the tears, and successfully keep them from falling. It broke my heart, and opened my eyes to how much he cared for his family at the same time.

He cleared his throat and took a few deep breaths before continuing, "I didn't understand it, not until she was already gone. She was trying to make sure that if she wasn't given tomorrow, that our last interaction would not be laced with words said in the heat of the moment, but words of love and caring," I heard the front door open and swiveled my head around to look.

Chester had on foot out the door, but was looking at me questioningly. I could tell he was asking if it was a good time, and I shook my head no. To my relief he just nodded and gave a playful wink before going back inside, shutting the door softly behind him.

I took a deep breath, and looked back to Beck, who was looking at me with an expression I couldn't read. I pulled my knees to my chest, and let my chin rest on my knees, "Your mom?" I asked softly, prompting him to continue despite the interruption.

His eyes shifted, and I could have sworn they darkened a shade or two as his eyebrows furrowed together. He nodded and turned his gaze back to the empty street, "Anyways, she tried to keep every last interaction on a good note. But that didn't really work for her, as during the first week and a half or so of the zombie infection, she was bit by someone. None of us really believed the whole zombie thing, I mean. For all we knew it was the thing of horror films and great tv shows," Beck's jaw flexed as he continued, "She died and came back one night, and made her way into Emmerson's room," there was a pause, and I could tell it took a lot for him to voice the words.

"She ate my brother, Kodi. I walked into his room that morning to wake him up, and when I heard the noises I thought maybe he had gotten a dog, even though mom had told him no. So I opened that door to yell at him, and there she was," he was actually crying now, not loud body shaking sobs, but the silent type. It some how made it even worse.

"He was still in bed, and it was obvious by the way he lay there that he was dead. She was covered in his blood, and I was so shocked and scared that I didn't do anything even as she ran at me to kill me too. Luckily I found some sense and ran down to the kitchen..." he trailed off and rubbed a palm against his eye, "I had to kill her, and I really did try. But when I had the chance I just couldn't do it. She's my mom, you know?" he asked.

I didn't know, I didn't know what loyalty like the kind he was talking about felt like, but I wasn't about to just blurt that out. Instead I nodded.

It didn't matter though, because he didn't see me, lost in the memory of what used to be, "I had to fight her off, and during the struggle, the necklace she had always worn fell off. I managed to lock her in the bathroom. I changed and scrubbed all of the blood off of me in the kitchen sink, grabbed a bag, and right before I left the house I saw it on the ground. The Korean lettering on the back means 'peace'... so to answer your question, it is a reminder of who my mother was, it reminds me of what I lost and what she stood for. It reminds me of my brother, and his light. Mostly it reminds me to always leave things on a good note, because you don't know if that's the last encounter you'll ever have with someone," he rubbed his neck, "especially now," he finished off.

I was stunned silent for a few beats, and then I found myself hugging Beck, wanting to make him smile again and not having any idea as to how. I felt his arm wrap around my middle, and he hugged me to his side as I pressed my face into his shoulder.

"I'm so sorry you went through all of that," I whispered, feeling like my words were a pathetic water balloon again the great wall of China.

Beck was quiet for a few moments, and then he squeezed me a little closer, "Everyone has their demons," he murmured, "and speaking of which, we have to deal with one of yours soon. So how about I go get Chester, so you guys can go on your walk, and then when it comes time for the meeting, you guys will go to the meeting hall."

He stood up, somehow picking me up with him, and then he set me down on my feet. He gave me a grim smile, his eyes still seeming too dark, and turned towards the door to go get Chester.

"Beck, wait," I said, and grabbed his arm, tugging it down. The move caught him off guard, and he didn't have any time to question me as I pressed a kiss to his cheek.

I wasn't really thinking, but remembering how I had apologized to Cody with a similar kiss, and remembering Beck's side comment. But this kiss felt different from the one I bestowed upon Cody, it made my cheeks heat up and my brain sluggish.

Beck swallowed as he looked at me, and I let go of his arm and took a step back. He looked like he wanted to say something, but instead just smiled. I let out a breath as he turned and walked through the front door, happy that I had at least managed to make those shadows go away.