It was the last straw for us all. Hershel's death. He was a father to us all and if not a father a mentor. Rick and I were huddled behind the bus. He had been shot in the leg. I was quick to rip part of my shirt and wrap it around his leg. Peaking around him I shot some guy off the edge of the tank watching his body fall to the floor. It was the small glimpse of Hershel lying lifeless on the ground that broke me even more. If you have ever watched someone you love pass away you know that heart break it causes. It's that heart break that I'm so sick of having to deal with. It didn't matter how many of them I took out, it wouldn't make up for everything they were ripping from us.

Hershel was always there for me since the farm. He listened when no one else would. He was like a father in a time we needed one most. God only knows how his girls are feeling. If it's anything like me then they will be hell bent on revenge just like I was. He was kind, he was what we needed to keep this all going. But in a world like the one we live in now. He was a tool for others to use to break our spirit.

It was nothing but a rain of gun fire from both sides. Leaving Rick and I caught in the middle. That didn't stop the two of us from trying to take out as many of them as we could. But me. I had one target in mind. Phillip. I wanted him dead. I wanted his head on a silver platter. We were guns blazing when that fucking tank drove over our fences. We knew what had to happen, get the old and children out in the bus. The tank started firing into the prison walls. Our hole was being demolished. Everything we fought for was gone.

We all had jobs to do as they made their way through the fences Rick saw Phillip and he attacked. Leaving me to cover his stupid ass. Between protecting Rick and making sure Phillips' new group didn't harm anyone else I was running out of ammo fairly quickly. I aimed to take out people that were using the tank as a safety net.

I saw Daryl was cornered by walkers from the back people from the front. I used the last of my ammo to take out the walkers in the back but, Daryl, already had a plan, I watched him use a walker as cover to move around. The last thing I expected to see him do was throw a grenade down the barrel of the tank. I knew that would be game over for anyone in there that didn't get out fast enough. I knew he was safe then it was at that moment I realized I needed to get to safety next.

Plan was to get everyone on the bus and don't leave without a single person. I guess plans change. Because I heard the bus start up and I watched it leave. I'm sure it had plenty of our people on the bus, but that didn't stop the ache of being abandoned. We had to leave. There wasn't anything left for us here, the prison was being flooded by walkers not to mention falling apart. That's when I realized I lost Daryl. I couldn't find him amongst the rubble and I knew he wasn't dead, because his bike was gone.

Rick I had lost ages ago when he was fighting Phillip. I spotted him a ways off, he was with Michonne and I knew she would protect him. I got on my bike and I was more than happy that it survived the onslaught and I drove off. I left as fast as I could. Our home was gone, there was nothing left but fire and walkers. I drove through the walkers that had been attracted to the gunfire and there it was my tears that I was fighting back.

I pulled off the side of the road and I couldn't stop the emotions that followed. Tears, screams, I lost everything. I needed to find my family but I didn't know how. We didn't have a plan for this. For what we were going to do when this happened. Well we did. We were supposed to all be on that damn bus. Not scattered like dust in the wind.

But that's exactly what we were. Dust in the wind on the hunt to find our way back to each other alive. I drove for a little while longer before I made my way to some old cabin. The place was run down, and there was a strong mildew smell coming from inside, but I didn't care. I knew this would be a safe place at least for the night. I knew I couldn't afford to waste anymore bullets, they were like gold at this time. So with that thought I pulled out my knife and my way inside and started looking around for walkers.

"Hello! Fresh meat right here!" I yelled banging on the walls of the cabin but there was nothing. It was silent as the dead. Well I guess now the dead aren't silent. I made quick work to barricade any doors or windows with pieces of wood, broken furniture. I went back out to my bike grabbing my go bag and heading back inside. I always kept a bag with clothes and extra supplies strapped to my bike just in case. In case I left and decided to never come back, incase of something like this. I never once thought this would happen to us but being the overly cautious person that I am and my military training. You have to plan for the worst and hope for the best.

Then the silent hit. I forgot what it was like to be so alone. The sound of your own breathing and the wind off in the distant trees. Or maybe it was the creaking of this old house that was finally getting to me. I used to always love being alone. I was at my best when I was alone. Surviving out in Atlanta. Without having to worry about someone else's ass. I was just a girl hoping to find her family. I did find them, right? My own thoughts started to question themselves.

After spending months with my group, a group that I learned to call my family. A family that was now blown into the wind. I laid down on the old couch I had shoved against the front door. I stared up at the ceiling. The mold combined with the wood started to morph into shapes. Faces of the people I cared about, old memories of me chasing little Carl through the backyard. Having beers with Rick and Shane on the front porch after I came home from a deployment. Shane.

That was one person I tried to keep myself from thinking about. My once caring and loving brother, turned to what. A monster that I wouldn't put up with. But, him, I knew who he was. Was, as in past tense. Before all of this had happened. Before the rape. He was my brother turned to the thing I hated most. I hadn't realized that I was crying thinking about him till the tears streamed down my neck. That didn't stop the tears.

My mind flashed back to the night he was more than willing to kill Rick and I. I could still hear him and that shit he was spitting. I could still feel my knife stabbing into Shane's chest. Once wasn't enough, it didn't make up for what he did to me. Sitting up I started crying. I kept my hand over my mouth to make sure no walkers heard my tears. I wanted my family back.

After all these years I wished people would change. It was why I joined the military because I believed in change. But it was a change that only got worse since the world ended. Sitting on that old mildew couch I realized that people don't change for the better. Things happen and it makes people all that much worse. There are certain lies we tell ourselves as humans. Things can change for the better. We can make the world a safer place. There is no such thing as bad people. I'm fine. These are the sweet delicious lies we've told ourselves and we have been told since the day we were born. But they are just lies. Bitter and cruel.

I laid back down against the couch and let my eyes fall closed. I hadn't realized how exhausted I had been until sleep pulled me into its cold dark arms. Granted sleep didn't last long as the sound of a lone walker's snarls woke me immediately. I knew it wasn't inside. Nope it was right outside the front door. I could hear the crunch of leaves under its feet. It was a long night of sleeping and waking up to the sound of walkers either shuffling past or banging on the doors and windows. I hated restless nights, I was already missing my bed back in that prison cell.

I remembered when we first got there Daryl and I both promised never to sleep in a cell. Then we did, we even shared a cell for a while.. I remember when we were fighting so much that we could barely stand each other. I've started to miss him. His stupid long greasy looking hair, the sweet dumb smile I had only seen maybe twice. He has a sweet smile, one side of his lips curls up ever so slightly and he gets little wrinkles at the corner of his eyes. It's a smile I wish I could have seen more. I wish we could have fought less, that it didn't take so long for us to forgive each other. You know it's stupid but as I think about it more I don't even remember why we were fighting or even angry with each other.

I got up and decided to keep moving. There was no point in waiting around for something that wasn't coming. I pulled my bag over my shoulder and started making my way to well, anywhere. I got on my bike and started towards the sunrise. Survival was the one thing I know I'm good at. It was what I was trained to do. I started riding and found a small community taken over by the elements. I parked my bike and walked up to the large white colonial house. I pulled out my knife and broke into the house. I walked in with my back pressed against the wall and banged.

There was no noise, it was silent. I sighed in relief and made my way to the kitchen to look for food. I smiled softly when I saw the cans of different vegetables. Quickly I found a bag and threw the cans inside and got back on my bike. I was grateful to have found some food. It was just what I needed since I didn't have much packed up.

It's been about four weeks since the prison burned down. I was wandering around deep in the woods, it was a strange feeling. I still couldn't get over the fact that I was alone. The fact that I still haven't found a single person from the prison or otherwise. I've traveled quite a ways away from the prison. I don't think I could find my way back even if I tried to. During these last few weeks I couldn't shake the feeling of being watched. I have successfully cleaned out every single house on the way. It's been scarce, no food, barely any water. If any. I was starting to get dehydrated. I knew that because of what happened first, I started seeing him. Johnny.

At first I thought I was losing my mind, but now I know I was losing my mind. The dehydration was causing me to see things along with the fact that I was slowly starving to death. I had been rationing my food for the last three weeks since I hadn't found anything since that house.

"You know you need to eat some food, or find some water, at least, little bird." Johnny's voice rang through my ears again like every night when I settled down in a place to sleep.

"I know, but what am I supposed to do? I've checked everywhere for food, water, anything. This place has been picked clean. I'll try again tomorrow." I rolled over on my side.

"Raven. We both know you need to do something to keep from dying right now." Johnny had moved closer to me.

"I'm not going to argue with a ghost." I spat back at him and he laughed. I closed my eyes and listened to the sweet sound. I forgot how much I missed him, and even his laugh.

"This world has done nothing to kill your fire, bird." I rolled over and looked at the old memory of a man I once loved more than anything.

"You know nothing would." I smiled at him and sighed, settling more into the bed. That's when I heard it. Thunder followed by the flashes of lightning. Then the sweet sound of pattering on the roof of the house I was in for the night.

"Rain." I smiled and jumped up grabbing the water bottles that I had saved and quickly ran out the front door. What I didn't expect was to see two full gallons of water already waiting there. I set out my bottles and grabbed the gallons that were there before I went inside.

"You sure you want to trust those?" Johnny asked and I nodded.

"Won't matter because I'm going to die eventually," I opened one of the jugs and took a large drink. It was fine clean water.

"You shouldn't be trying to kill yourself. Raven, I didn't sacrifice myself just for you to kill yourself in the end." Johnny barked at me.

"Just leave me alone!" I yelled at him, just as I did I watched him disappear.

I never wanted to get to this point, the point where I didn't care if I lived or died. But here I was in a house I didn't know. Ready to live or die. Johnny was right. I hated when he did that, even dead he's still right about some shit. It rained all night long which made it easier for me to sleep for once. That's what I used to have to do when I came home for a deployment. Listen to rain sounds in order to sleep. People find it strange that military personnel sleep on the floor when they first come home. I'll tell you why. Because it reminds them of being back there. Sleeping in a bed feels strange, like you're going to drown if you close your eyes for too long.

Even now I still feel that I need to sleep on the floor instead of a bed. That's what I did. I spent every night sleeping on the floor of some house I finished clearing. At first I could sleep on couches but beds that was something I couldn't bring myself to do since leaving the prison. I started doing something stupid too, leaving notes for Daryl.

I had found a small notebook a couple weeks back and I couldn't help but write to him. Tell him where I was, what happened that day. All the shit I was going through. Every memory I had with him. I told him how much I missed him. How much I missed everyone. I sighed and wrote another note before leaving the house.

'Daryl, it rained yesterday. I've never been so happy to see it rain. Did you see the rain? Are you close to me? I miss you still. Can't stop having dreams about a future we could have had. But I guess the world is just as cruel as it always was.

Something strange happened, when I went out to collect rain someone had left water on the front porch. For a moment I had hoped it was you. But I know it wasn't, if it was you wouldn't still be hiding from me. I think that someone is following me.

Don't worry though, I'm safe. You know that. I'm strong, remember when you told me I was like a rose. Because I was beautiful, but my thorns were sharp enough to hurt someone. You weren't that person I would ever hurt. I'm heading north now. Hoping to find some food or just something. Ill see you again soon my loveable redneck.

Forever your little bird, Raven.'

I thought by now I would have stopped. That I would have given up any idea of Daryl finding me. But I had to have hope. I did have hope, I knew he was still out there. I knew he was looking for me. I was on my bike riding down some dirt road to god knows where. I kept my eyes forward when I saw a new community, the first thing I noticed was the blackberry bushes. I found somewhere to park my bike hidden from plain view and I got off and made my way to the house. I picked a handful or so of black berries before I walked inside. All the doors were open. I made sure to be loud and nothing came out.

Once inside I quickly looked around for some food. I found a gun safe in a room that looked like it was a home office. "Oh thank you god!" I said as I picked up three boxes of the proper sniper ammo. Which meant I could fight from a distance again. The house itself was in perfect condition and I was more than happy to camp here for a while.

It's been about three months, I made that house my home. Or a home as close as it can get. I thought by now Daryl would have found me. I think he chose otherwise, or maybe he thought I was dead and gave up on looking for me. I was out for a hunt trying to find rabbits or squirrels. There were several things I feared, not making it alive, or having some other group come after me. Today my fear came true.

"She's been holding up here for a while!." There was a man's voice that rang out into the yard of the house. Quickly I hid out of sight.

"We'll when we find her I call first dibs!" Another man's voice said, and that same fear from the CDC crept into my veins. A fear I didn't ever want to feel again. I knew exactly what those men meant by that. I snuck closer to where my bike was.

"You know Negan would kill us if he found out." The first voice said as he started to walk out of the house.

"I ain't gonna tell, are you? We have our fun with her then set her on her way." The second man said as they both sat down on the porch. There was no way I could stay here and I already had a bag full of food on my back and my go bag on my bike full of my ammo. That's when I made the choice, run and run fast and far.

I crawled to my bike which I had parked in the trees off the side of the house. I quickly got on and started it. The second I did that the two men looked in my direction. They weren't old like I had thought they were about my age, and all I could see was Shane. So I started riding. They chased after me but it didn't take long for me to lose them.

Just when I thought I was far enough I stopped to catch my breath and another man came in a car immediately I saw him as a threat. Just another one of those men came to 'do what he wants to do with me.' and I was terrified.

"What do you want? Give me one good reason not to kill you right now?" I asked and the man raised his hands in defense.

"My name is Aaron, I've been following you for a while. I have a community and I think we could use someone like you." I stared at him, he didn't look like he was living out here, at least not like I was. And he sure as fuck didn't look like a fighter. But he did look well fed. Maybe he was telling the truth. But who knew.

"Talk." I said quickly, keeping my gun on him.

"Okay." He pulled a set of pictures from his bag and handed them to me. "This is our community. Alexandria. We have walls and food. It's safe."

I stared at the pictures, it did have walls, houses, people. I almost believed that a place like this could exist. "This is real?" I asked, looking over at him.

"It's real, I can take you. We have an interview process that we do for newcomers. But you can be safe there. I know you could have killed those men but you didn't. You're a good person." I nodded at him.

"How can you believe it will stay like this forever?" I asked him and he gave me a soft smile.

"We make it work." He smiled and took pictures from me. "Come with me and I can show you."

I hesitated for a moment and nodded agreeing. He got into his car and I started to follow him on my bike. Safety that's what I wanted and they offered that. The safety. So I followed with the hope that someday maybe even Daryl and the rest of them would end up there safe.

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Okay little birds, I need opinions. Should I do a chapter from Daryl's point of view? I've been thinking about it but, I can't decide because I wasn't sure if you guys actually liked when I did that. So leave a comment and let me know.

Thank you loves for reading. I'm sorry the chapters are taking so long. I've been in and out of the hospital for the last few months and I have to go back next week. So while I'm there I'll try my best to keep writing.