Rick, Carl, and I were making our way back to the house. Carl was holding my hand after everything that had happened. I think he could tell I just need someone at that moment. He was a good kid and always knew when something was wrong even when he was a baby. I still had Shane's blood all over my hands luckily it wasn't on my clothes but, it was a cold night and I was stupid and forgot a sweater. The moon was right over us and we didn't talk; we just walked.

"We're either of you bit too?" Carl asked us and I shook my head with a soft smile.

"No sweetheart me and your daddy, we're clean." I said and Rick nodded in agreement to my sentence.

"Shane was." Carl said, looking at his feet.

"That wasn't Shane. You know that." Rick told his son.

"Used to be." Carl answered and I gave his hand a gentle squeeze.

"What happened? We're you guys attacked? I mean...I heard a gunshot, but I didn't see any walkers nearby. How did Shane die?" Carl asked Rick and I. I looked at Rick. I didn't know if I would be able to tell Carl that the man he learned to call his uncle was trying to kill his father. Rick stopped and looked at Carl and he let my hand go as he looked at his father hoping for an answer to clear his very confused mind. I turned because the smell of death all of the sudden got very strong.

"Rick." I said looking at the large horde that was coming over the hill.

"Oh my god. Go go go go." Rick said pushing his son in front of him and grabbing me by my arm. We ran as fast as we could but stayed quiet to make sure we didn't attract unnecessary attention. We got to a tree and I got my crossbow ready.

"We...We got to get to the house, tell the others." Carl said, scared.

"We'll never get through that. Can't go around. Carl, stay close to me or Raven don't leave our side." Rick said and I looked towards the barn.

"Rick the barn." I said seeing the clear path to the barn. He nodded and grabbed Carl's hand.

"Go!" He whispered and we ran for the barn. Every once and a while a walker would snap in our direction but we just kept running. Once inside Rick and I bared up the doors as best as we could.

"What are we gonna do?" I asked Rick with genuine fear in my eyes. The walkers outside were banging on the door and I knew it wasn't going to hold.

"We're gonna light this place like a candle to keep the walkers from the house and give the other time to get out." Rick said and I nodded. We ran and grabbed the gas cans that were there and dumped fuel everywhere on everything.

"Go Carl up there. You too Raven." Rick said as the walkers broke through the wood panels.

"What about you." Carl said frantically.

"I'll be right there. Go. Drop the lighter when I say." Rick told Carl and he climbed up the ladder.

"Go Raven." He said as I hadn't moved an inch.

"No, Rick I'm not leaving you. That kid needs his father, you go. I'll get them through." I said knowing exactly what he was planning. Rick grabbed me and hugged me. His face was hidden by the darkness so Carl could see what he was about to do.

"I love you, Raven." He said and kissed me. It was a soft but rushed kiss.

"Now go." He said and I had tears in my eyes as I climbed up the ladder and stood with Carl.

"Carl, I love you." Rick said and in that moment he ran over and let the walkers in.

"Rick!" I yelled as he was yelling for them to come and get some. Rick ran just barely ahead of the walkers that were pouring into the barn. He climbed up the ladder frantically and yelled at Carl.

"Carl now." He said and Carl lit the lighter dropping it to the floor. The whole bottom floor lit up in red flames but it didn't stop the walkers from coming at us. All three of us grabbed our guns and were ready to shoot. We all heard gunshots and looked out to see the whole group in cars shooting down as many walkers as they could.

"Rick look!" I said as we were shooting the walkers in front of us. I saw the RV pulling around.

"Hey over here!"Rick yelled and they pulled the RV up right next to the barn. We all climbed on top of it and down the ladder. We were shooting walkers till we heard Jimmy scream from inside the RV and blood splattered on the windshield.

"This way. This way!" Rick yelled as he grabbed Carl. I followed right behind him. As I killed walkers I realized I had lost them.

"Fuck!" I made a run for the house. Dodging all the walkers.

"Hershel!" I yelled, killing walkers with him.

"We need to go." I said grabbing him. I saw Beth and everyone on the porch. She had my bag and I mentally thanked her. I ran over to her.

"Beth you know where my keys for my bike are." I asked her and she held out my keys. I hugged her and ran over to my bike hopping on it. I fired it up and rode out shooting walkers left and right. I was next to Hershel on my bike.

"Hershel we need to leave now!" I said again as the walkers got closer.

"Hershel!" I yelled and he ran out of ammo.

"Let's go." Hershel said, hopping onto the back of my bike. We rode off the farm and I knew he was just watching what he built fall apart.

"Where are we going?" Hershel asked me once I made it past his mailbox.

"The highway. It's where everyone would have gone." I said riding back to the highway. It was quiet and there was nothing but sadness in the air around us.

"Do you know if anyone else made it out?" I asked Hershel finally the question was burning in the back of my mind.

"I don't know. I'm sorry." He said and I nodded and kept riding. The sun was just coming up and we rode past a small group of walkers. We didn't say anything else till we got to the highway. Once we got there I noticed a truck from the farm was there. I pulled up and Rick got out with Carl. I parked my bike and switched it off.

"Rick! Carl!" I yelled and Rick held tears in his eyes.

"Raven!" He said and I ran to them. I gave Rick the biggest hug and then hugged Carl.

"I thought I lost you two." I said tears streaming through my eyes.

"Never Sargent." Carl said and I laughed.

"Did you see if mom made it." Carl asked me and I had to lie to him.

"She got out. She'll be here soon." He nodded and left off to the truck again.

We avoided some walkers while we waited for the other to show up. We had avoided a walker for a moment letting him pass us by but I went to the other side and stabbed it, taking it down and dragging it off the road. I was headed back to the back of the truck when I heard a motorcycle roar. I knew it had to be Daryl. Right behind him was the remainder of the group. I smiled knowing that they were safe and so did the others. Once everyone was parked it was like a reunion.

"Daryl." I said walking around a car and he had just gotten off his bike. He walked over to me and with one arm around my waist he picked me up into a hug and I wrapped my arms around his neck. He put me down after a minute and we parted as Rick spoke.

"Where'd you find everyone?" He asked Daryl.

"Well, those guys' tail lights zigzagging all over the road... figured he had to be Asian driving like that." Daryl said pointing at Glenn and he laughed.

"Good one." He said smiling.

"Where's the rest of us?" Daryl asked and my heart fell.

"We're the only ones who made it so far." Rick said and Lori stood up.

"Shane?" She asked and Rick shook his head.

"I'm sorry love." I said walking over and giving her a side hug.

"Andrea?" Glenn asked and Carol spoke.

"She saved me, then I lost her."

"We saw he go down." T-dog said with sadness in his voice.

"Patricia?" Hershel asked and Beth looked up at her dad scared shitless.

"They got her too. Took her right in front of me. I was... I was holdin' onto her, daddy. She just..." Beth couldn't finish as she started crying looking at her hand.

"What about Jimmy? Did you see Jimmy?" Beth asked through tears.

"He was in the R.V. It got overrun." Rick said and Beth cried more.

"You definitely saw Andrea?" Carol asked.

"There were walkers everywhere." Lori started to say but stopped there.

"Did you see her?" Carol pressed but no one answered.

"I'm gonna go back." Daryl said, grabbing his bike.

"No." I told him.

"We can't just leave her." Daryl said, looking at me.

"We don't even know if she's there." Lori said from next to me since I still had my arm around her.

"She isn't there. She isn't. She's somewhere else or she's dead. There's no way to find her." Rick said not want to lose anymore people.

"So we're not even gonna look for her?" Glenn asked.

"We gotta keep moving. There have been walkers crawling all over here." Rick said and we all nodded.

"I say head east." T-dog said wanting to head for the coast.

"Stay off the main roads. The bigger the road, the more walkers, more assholes like this one." Daryl said picking up his crossbow and aiming it at a walker that I must have missed.

"I got him." He said and he shot it right in the eye. We all agreed we needed to leave so we decided to follow Rick and we were off. Carol insisted on riding on the back of Daryl's bike and I didn't feel like arguing. He and I both rode side by side while everyone pulled into the cars. We didn't know where we were going, but we knew we had to leave. We needed somewhere safe like the farm but where was the real question.

We had stopped for a moment since the truck had run out of gas so Rick took up the rear and Daryl and I took the front. We heard a honk and we all stopped. Turning off our vehicles. "You out?" Daryl asked Rick as he ran up to us.

"Running on fumes." He said and I nodded.

"We can't stay here." Maggie said kind of pointing out the obvious.

"We can't all fit in one car." Glenn added.

"We'll have to make a run for some gas in the morning." Rick said and everyone was on edge and cold.

"Spend the night here?" Carol asked.

"I'm freezing." Carl complained and he was right it was getting a lot colder.

"We'll build a fire." Lori told her freezing son.

"You go out looking for firewood, stay close. Only got so many arrows. How are you doing on ammo?" Daryl asked Rick. "Not enough." Rick said after giving Carl his coat.

"We can't just sit here with our asses hanging out." Maggie said and her dad cut in.

"Watch your mouth." It made me smile that she was over 20 years old and her daddy was still telling her not to swear.

"Everyone stop panicking and listen to Rick." Hershel said, calming everyone's nerves.

"Alright we set up a perimeter. In the morning we'll find gas and some supplies. We'll keep pushing on." Rick said, laying out the plan.

"Glenn and I can go make a run now, try and scrounge up some gas." Maggie offered.

"No, we stay together. God forbid something happens and people get stranded without a car." Rick said and I was just trying to figure out if that shake I had stayed in was still standing or not.

"Rick, we're stranded now." Glenn said.

"I know it looks bad. We've all been through hell and worse, but at least we found each other. I wasn't sure...I really wasn't...but we did. We're together. We keep it that way. We'll find shelter somewhere. There's gotta be a place." Rick said and just as I was about to speak up Glenn started talking.

"Rick, look around. There's walkers everywhere. They're migrating or something."

"There's gotta be a place not just where we hole up, but that we fortify, hunker down, pull ourselves together, build a life for each other. I know it's out there. We just have to find it." Rick said back to Glenn.

I knew Rick had a vision of some magical place that we could basically go back to normal fucking life but, I just didn't know if that would be possible. Yes maybe somewhere we could be safe but, there will always be walkers or someone trying to take what we have.

"Even if we do find a place and we think it's safe, we can never be sure. For how long? Look what happened with the farm. We folded ourselves into thinking that that was safe." Maggie said expressing a soft exactly what I was thinking.

"We won't make that mistake again." Hershel said with sadness in his voice.

"We'll camp tonight over there, get on the road at the break of day." Rick said, pointing to a small stone area that looked like it could have been an old camping ground.

"Does this feel right to you?" Carol asked Daryl.

"What If walkers come through, or another group like Randall's" Beth asked Rick she was obviously worried about something that had a very strong possibility of happening.

"You know I found Randall, Right?" Daryl said and I jumped off my bike and stood next to Rick.

"What? What do you mean you found him?" I asked Daryl.

"He turned, but he wasn't bit." Daryl said and Rick and I looked at each other.

"How's that possible?" Beth asked and he just stared at me. It was what Dr. Jenner had said back at the CDC.

'We are all infected except for you.' His words played over and over in my head. No one else knew.

"Rick, what the hell happened?" Lori asked Rick and now everyone was very worried as to how Randall could have turned into a walker without being bitten.

"Shane killed Randall. Just like he always wanted to." Daryl said.

"And then the herd got him?" Lori asked and that night played over again in my mind. And in sync Rick and I both spoke.

"We're all infected." Everyone looked at the both of us extremely surprised.

"What?" Daryl said, almost angry.

"At the CDC, Jenner told me. Whatever it is, we all carry it." Rick said and I felt a little guilty. Not only was I not infected, I wasn't a fucking cure either.

"And you didn't say anything." Carol said.

"Would it have made a difference?" I asked her plainly.

"You both knew this whole time?" Glenn asked us.

"How could I have known for sure? You saw how crazy that mo..." Rick said but Glenn cut him off.

"That is not your call. Okay, when I found out about the walkers in the barn I told them, for the good of everyone."

"Well, I thought it best that people didn't know." Rick said with a seriousness in his voice. He looked almost angry at everyone for pressing him. He walked away and Lori went after him.

"Raven, why didn't you tell anyone." Daryl asked.

"I had my own reason. I'm not the leader of this group. Rick is. He calls the shots." I said checking my bag for more arrows.

"Rick may call the shots but, you are like the second in command. His fucking queen bee, not Lori you, he looks to you more than anyone else." Daryl said just loud enough for me to hear. Lori came back and he was angry.

"Lori?" I asked her and she just pushed me off.

"The fuck." I said and I went to talk to Rick.

"Hey, what's up with Lori. She won't even look at me." I asked him.

"I told her." Rick said and I was very confused.

"Told her what?" I asked him now scared of whatever answer he was going to say. Maybe he told her that he loved me more than her. Who knew.

"I told her that you killed Shane. And that's how I knew Jenner was right. And that Carl killed Shane after he turned." Rick said and I felt a ting of anger hit me.

"Why the fuck would you tell her that." I said I was angry with him.

"She's my wife. She deserved to know." Rick said and I rolled my eyes and walked away from him.

Night fell quickly and T-dog was on watch duty. Everyone was gathered around the fire except for me. I stayed off in a corner with two sweaters on to keep warm. Everyone was already mad at Rick and I for not telling them what Jenner told us. But, Lori was pissed at me for killing Shane even if it was for a good reason. I think she was even more pissed at Rick for letting Carl kill walker Shane. Daryl kept the fire burning to help keep everyone warm. I could hear Carol whispering some bullshit to Daryl.

"We're not safe with them. Keeping something like that from us. Why do you need them? They're just gonna pull you down." Carol said to Daryl trying to fill him with doubt.

"No. Rick and Raven's done all right by me." He said standing up for us to some degree.

"You're his henchman. And Raven, she's just using you. And me well, I'm a burden. You deserve better." Carol said and I could see the frustration in his face.

"What do you want?" Daryl asked her.

"A man of honor." She told him and I knew deep down she wanted Daryl and it made me sick. Or was it jealousy? I shook it out of my head.

"Rick has honor." Daryl told him and I could hear Maggie's whispers but I was too far from her to know what she was saying. We all heard some leaves rustle in the distance.

"What was that?" Beth asked and I jumped to my feet crossbow at the ready as did Daryl.

"Could be anything. Could be a raccoon, could be a possum." Daryl said.

"Walker." Glenn added. Rick readied his gun and everyone was now on alert.

"We need to leave. What are we waiting for?" Carol said and she was just pissing me off at this point.

"Which way?" Glenn asked and Maggie pointed off in the distance.

"It came from over there."

"Back from where we came."

"Yeah." The Greene girls said and Rick spoke up.

"The last thing we need is for everyone to be running off in the dark. We don't have vehicles. No one's traveling on foot." Rick said and we heard a branch snap in the distance. "Don't panic." Hershel told everyone.

"I'm not...I'm not sitting here, waiting for another herd to blow through. We need to move, now." Carol said.

"No one is going anywhere." I told her in an angry voice. I didn't care if people were mad at me or even scared of me. I just need this scared bitch to shut the fuck up.

"Do something." Carol said to Rick who was now standing next to her.

"I am doing something!" Rick whispered loudly at her.

"I'm keeping this group together, alive. I've been doing that all along, now matter what. I didn't ask for this. I didn't watch my best friend get killed by his sister for nothing just to protect you people, for Christ's sake." Rick said in anger as he yelled at everyone. I could feel eyes burning into me and I looked up to see Carl looking at me with fear in his eyes.

He was scared of me and it broke my heart. Everyone was staring at me and I couldn't take it. I had to say something. "You saw what he was like. How he pushed me, Rick, all of us. How he compromised us. How he threatened us. He staged the whole Randall thing, he led us out to put a bullet in Rick and me for standing in his way. He gave me no choice! He was my brother, he was Rick's friend but he came after us." I said frustrated and all I wanted to do was leave. I could hear Carl crying and his mom shushing him. What was stopping me from leaving.

"Maybe you people are better off without me, or Raven." Rick said from next to me.

"Go ahead. I say there's a place for us, but maybe...maybe it's just another pipe dream. Maybe I'm fooling myself again.. Why don't you...why don't you go and find out yourself? Send me a postcard." Rick said and I could sense his anger and frustration hell everyone could. But they all pushed him to be like this. The only one that didn't seem phased was Daryl.