I had gone to see Daryl after Rick's third or fourth time of him confessing he loved me more than his own wife. I just needed to get my mind off of him and the fact that we were going to kill Randall tonight. "Daryl?" I called out and he walked out from behind a tree.

"Was this not far enough away from you people." He said when he saw me.

"Ouch. Okay well. Look I just wanted to talk about what Dale had said earlier." I said leaning against a tree.

"What part." He said with a huff.

"The part where you act like you don't care about anyone which you probably don't but the fact that Dale could see that you care about me and maybe only me." I said my arms crossed under my chest.

"He's a crazy old man." Daryl said his back towards me.

"Or. He's right." I said walking towards him once he turned around we were face to face.

"Listen here girl. I don't care about you. I only care about myself." He said and I could see right through him.

"No. You don't. Look Daryl, I understand that you're mad at me for pushing you away and I'm sorry but, I need you. Okay. Fuck." I paused for a second running my hand through my hair and turning my back to him thinking what I would say next.

"Daryl, it may not be what you want to hear but, I miss what we had. Whatever that was. I want it back. Or maybe even something close." I said and Daryl had turned back around. I walked over to him and placed a hand on his shoulder. He spun around and backed me into the tree that was next to him. He put one arm resting above my head against the tree and the other was firmly gripping my hip. We stared at each other for a moment with the tension building. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath before speaking.

"I'm better alone." He said barely above a whisper.

"Then why are you fighting with yourself over what you want to do with me." I asked him in the same tone of voice and he sighed. It was the first time I had heard him sigh like that. He leaned into my ear and nuzzled into my hair.

"Because I want you not to want me." He whispered into my ear sending chills down my spine and I was at a loss for words. He moved his hand that was on my hip around my back and pulled me closer to him.

"I don't want you to get hurt because of me." He said, taking another deep breath into my hair, his scruff tickling my neck.

"But, you drive me crazy." He said and I finally found the courage to form a fucking sentence.

"I want you. So what are you going to do about it." I said in a low whisper scared that my voice would fail me like my legs did earlier that day. He then pulled away and walked away from me.

"Go." Was all he said.

"What?" I was very confused and very horny to boot.

"Leave. Now, Raven." He said, basically yelling at me.

"Fuck you." I said walking away. It was time to decide Randalls fate anyway.

I walked down the hill towards the group who was already gathered up inside the house. I walked in and stood over next to Lori ignoring Daryl who was burning holes into me.

"So how do we do this? Just take a vote?" Glenn asked, being more nervous than the rest of us.

"Does it have to be unanimous?" Andrea asked and I piped up.

"How about we do majority rules?" I said and Rick finally spoke up.

"Well, let's just see where everybody stands then we can talk through the options." Everyone glanced around the room waiting for someone to speak and of course Shane was the first one.

"Well, where I sit, there's only one way to move forward." Dale got noticeably angry with Shane.

"Killing him, right? I mean why bother to even take a vote? It's clear which way the winds are blowing." He said looking at everyone.

"Well, if people believe we should spare him, I wanna know." Rick told Dale. I mean it was Dale's fault that we were doing this shit in the first place and now he's giving up.

"It's only a small group... maybe me and Glenn." Dale said in defeat looking over at Glenn. Glenn gave him a sad look almost to tell him the opposite.

"Look, I...I think you're pretty much right about everything, all the time, but this..." Glenn started but Dale cut him off.

"They've got you scared."

"He's not one of us. And we've... we've lost too many people already." Glenn told Dale who looked almost betrayed by Glenn's words.

"How about you? Do you agree with this?" Dale said pointing to Maggie who was standing next to her father who honestly didn't want to be there for any of this at all.

"Couldn't we continue keeping him prisoner?" Maggie asked Rick but Daryl spoke first.

"Just another mouth to feed." He said moving from the back of the room a little more forward.

"It may be a lean winter." Hershel said, not liking the idea of having to kill someone.

"We could ration better." Lori said, putting in her input. I knew she didn't want to have to kill this boy.

"Well, he could be an asset. Give him a chance to prove himself." Dale said, defending the child he thought to be innocent.

"Put him to work?" Glenn said. I knew he didn't want to put this kid to death but, there was no way in hell I was going to let him walk around like a free man.

"We are not under any circumstances letting him walk around." I said walking next to Dale.

"We could put an escort on him." Maggie said and Shane jumped in.

"Who wants to volunteer for that duty?" "I will." Dale said and Rick raised his hand telling everyone to stop for a moment.

"I don't think any of us should be walking around with this guy." Rick said and I nodded in agreement.

"He's right. I wouldn't feel safe unless he was tied up." Lori said thinking about all the stuff that he could do and probably has done.

"We can't exactly put chains around his ankles and sentence him to hard labor." Andrea said, making a very valid point.

"Look, say we let him join us, Right? Maybe he's helpful, maybe he's nice. But, what happens when we let our guard down and maybe he runs off, brings back his 30 men. Then what?" I asked the group not to put more fear into anyone but to help them understand why we had to do what we had to do.

"Raven's right." Shane said.

"So the answer is to kill him to prevent a crime that he may never even attempt? If we do this we're saying there's no hope. Rule of law is dead, there is no civilization." Dale expressed he was obviously frustrated with everyone but, his voice was laced with a type of sadness.

"Oh my god." Shane said leaning against the metal of the fireplace.

"Could you drive him further out? Leave him like you planned?" Hershel asked Rick and I could see Rick think about it for a moment then he looked over at me.

"I mean..." I started to say but was cut off by Lori.

"No, you barely came back this time. There are walkers. You could break down. You could get lost." Lori said think about all the horrible things that could happen to us on the road and she wasn't the only one.

"Or get ambushed." Daryl said, looking over at me and I just shook my head.

"They're right. We should not put our own people at risk." Glenn added.

"If you go through with it, how would you do it? Would he suffer?" Patrica asked. It was strange to hear her speak since it had been so long since I've been around her. I almost thought it was Maggie for a moment.

"We could hang him, right? Just snap his neck." Shane said, looking at Rick.

"No." I said with a very stern voice.

"Now wait. I thought about that. Shooting may be more humane." Rick said and I let out a very quiet sigh of relief.

"What about the body? Do we bury him?" T-dog said now thinking we had finally decided his fate.

"Hold on, hold on. You're talking about this like it's already decided." Dale said his voice cracking like he was going to break.

"You've been talking all day, going around in circles. You just wanna go around in a circle again?" Daryl told him as he walked over into the dinning room.

"This is a young man's life and it is worth more than a five-minute conversation! Is this what it's come to? We kill someone because we can't decide what else to do with him." Dale was now yelling at the whole group and then he turned towards me.

"You saved him! They wanted to leave him and you saved and now look at us. You tortured him. Now he's gonna be executed." Dale said basically spitting in my face.

"I did what I had to do to protect this group! YOU have no right to judge me! I saved him because I didn't know what he was now, I do! He deserves to die for what he's done." I said my voice like vile and I walked out of the house. I couldn't take it all the judgemental stares. The last thing I heard was Dale.

"How are we any better than those people that we're so afraid of?" I was sitting out on the stairs of the porch waiting for them to come up with a choice on whether he should live or die. The kid had been through a lot before meeting up with those men but, it was no excuse for what he claims to never have done. I sighed and ran my hand through my hair and buried my head into my knees. I could still hear them all arguing inside over what needed to be done but, I couldn't figure out what the fuck they were saying and I didn't really care either. The sun had set and I didn't realize that everyone had left the house already. They all walked right past me like I didn't exist. I looked up to see Rick standing in front of me.

"We're taking him out now." I nodded and got up my knees popping like rice crispy treats.

"I'll come with you." I said and Rick went to object but I stopped him.

"Rick, don't try and stop me. I saved him. I want to be the one who kills him." I said and he just nodded and we went to the shed and Randall was already unchained from the wall and bound up.

"Let's get this over with." Rick said and he grabbed a lantern and we were off.

It was Shane, Rick, Daryl, and I. Despite Shane trying to tell Rick that I wasn't coming I went anyway.

"Hold on. Hold on. Hold on." Randall said as Daryl shoved him off towards the barn. Once we were there Rick and I opened the front doors.

"Put him there." Rick said, setting the lantern down and looking over at me.

"Are you sure? You don't have to." He asked me.

"Rick I do have too." I said pulling out my hand gun and making sure it was in working order and checking the clip for bullets.

"It's all gonna be over soon." Shane told Randall, putting a piece of cloth over his eyes. I took a deep breath and turned off my emotions for the second time in 2 days. I was scared to do it again for fear that I wouldn't be able to turn them on again. Once I turned around Randall was crying and I stood in front of him Rick by my side ready to shoot him if I couldn't.

"Would you like to stand or kneel?" I asked him in a plain voice.

"No please." He cried and Daryl brought the boy to his knees. I looked at the three men that stood around him. Shane just nodded to me. Daryl didn't even look at me.

"Do you have any final words?" Rick asked him.

"No. Please. Please don't. Don't." Randall cried and I looked at Rick and then raised my gun to Randall's head cocking it back. The sound only made him cry more.

"Do it Raven. Do it." A voice rang through my ears and I knew it was Carl. I looked over at Rick and then to Shane. Shane left my vision as I was still trained on Randall.

"Are you kidding me? What did I say to you?" Shane said, dragging Carl out and it was like the sound of that innocent boy's voice, the boy I grew to love like my own kid. It flipped my emotions back on without me wanting them on and my hand fell to my side.

"Take him away." I said turning away from everyone. I could hear Randall sigh in relief.

"Get up." Daryl said dragging Randall to his feet and I looked over at Rick who was just staring at Carl. Shane left pisses beyond pissed off. I turned to look at Carl. When did he grow up? When did he start realizing that this is the life we had to live. When did he lose his innocence? My heart broke into a million pieces realizing that Carl almost watched me blow a man's brains out. I holster my gun and walk over to him.

"Come on Carl." I said placing a hand on his shoulder and not pushing but pushing him out of the barn and towards camp. Rick was right next to me making sure that his son wasn't going to sneak off. Once we got there everyone looked at me and Rick.

"We're keeping him in custody for now." Rick said, answering the question that was burning into all of their brains.

"I'm gonna find Dale." I said turning around and walking off. Trying to find one of the only people who understood me and could stand me.

"Dale?" I called out into the fields. That's when I heard it the blood curdling scream that I knew had to be Dale.

"Dale!?" I yelled running towards him. I found him struggling with a walker. I ran with my gun drawn to the old man. But I wasn't fast enough Daryl got there before I did.

He killed the walker and pulled it off of Dale. I dropped to my knees looking at Dale's intestines that were now falling from his gut.

"Dale?" I said crying. "Someone get Hershel!" I yelled, grabbing hold of his hand.

"It's okay. You're gonna be okay. We're gonna fix this." I said, wiping tears from his face. "Hershel!" I yelled again and the rest of the group finally reached us. I could hear everyone freaking out but all I could focus was on keeping Dale alive. "It's okay, just focus on my voice. Hang on." I said panic setting into me.

"Raven." He said blood was flowing from his mouth.

"Shh. Don't. Don't talk, save your strength. You're gonna be fine." I said my own tears hitting his face.

"Take care of them." He said looking up and behind me.

"Shh. Dale just hold on." I looked behind me to see Rick and Daryl standing side by side and realized what Dale meant by 'take care of them' I cried.

"Hershel." I said as he made his way next to me. "There's something we can do right. Right?" I asked him, my whole body shaking as I held tightly onto Dale's hand.

"I'm sorry Raven." He said, placing a hand on my shoulder.

"No. No no." I cried and held onto him harder. He was in pain and I could see that. "He's suffering." I said through deep sobs. I knew what had to be done but I couldn't do it. "Oh god." I cried as a pair of strong arms pulled me out of the way and away from Dale. I sobbed loudly, my hands covered in new blood and it was getting all over me and Shane. Who I know realized was holding me.

Rick held his gun up to Dale's head but he couldn't pull the trigger. Daryl walked over and took his gun from him cocking it and Dale raised his head to the gun as if saying shoot me. "Sorry, brother." He said and then Daryl shot him. It was silent for a moment and then all you could hear were my sobs at first then followed the rest of the group. I jumped up and walked away from everyone. I let out a scream that would have startled anyone but, they all knew it was me. "Raven!" I heard a voice call after me and I ignored it walking back to the house. I changed into some pj's and cried myself to sleep on the couch. Tomorrow was going to be a new day, another sad day. We had to bury another person we loved and called family.