I killed Sophia, well, not actually her but, zombie her. She was bitten, when we weren't sure. After the fall out at the barn I needed a minute to breath. I felt like shit. We all knew deep down that she was dead but, we just didn't want to accept the fact that she was dead. We couldn't until she came stalking out of that barn. Daryl had tried to protect Carol from having to watch what had happened. I was dragged back to the situation when Beth was being attacked by a walker we thought we had killed. We all ran to her side pulling her and the walker apart. Glenn had a hold of her arms and T-dog was trying to smash the walkers head in but it wasn't working. Andrea acted quickly and grabbed a scythe and drove it through the walkers head killing it for real this time. Glenn slowly laid the woman down. I guess it was Beth's mother. The Greene family made their way back to the house but Shane followed right after and Rick and I ran after him.

"We've been out. We've been combing these woods looking for her and she was in there all along? You knew." Shane said pestering the family who had just lost the people they loved.

"Shane!" I called after him.

"Leave us alone." Maggie spat at him. Rick grabbed Shane by the arm.

"Shane, just stop, man." He said but Shane ripped his arm out of his grasp.

"Get your hands off me." Shane told Rick as he kept after Hershel and his family. Or what was left of his family.

"You knew and you kept it from us." Shane pestered.

"I didn't know." Hershel said with a crack in his voice.

"That's bullshit." Shane said back to him. "Shane, leave them alone. They've dealt with enough. They don't need you making shit worse." I said walking by Rick.

"Raven. Do you ever just fucking leave people alone." Shane spat at me and I shook him off.

"I think y'all did know she was in there." He said to the family who obviously just wanted to be left alone.

"We didn't know!" Maggie yelled at him and she was getting more and more pissed off at Shane and his stupidity.

"Why was she there?!" Shane said following the family into their home.

"Your...Otis put those people in the barn. Maybe he found her and put her in there before he was killed." Hershel explained to Shane. I could see that he was now a broken mad.

"You expect me to believe that?" Shane said with a dry laugh.

"What do I look like? Do I look like an idiot?" Shane tried to approach Hershel but Rick got in his way.

"Shane. Hey. Just back off okay, man." Rick said, pushing Shane back.

"I don't care what you believe." Hershel yelled.

"Everybody just calm down." I said getting in the middle of the two men with Rick right next to me.

"Get him off my land!" Hershel told Rick.

"Let me tell you something man." Shane said shoving his way past Rick and I. I moved in front of him but Shane just grabbed my arm and threw me to the ground and I looked up and saw Maggie getting in his way.

"Hey. Don't touch him!" She screamed in his face as her right hand raised up and gave Shane's face a firm slap. Shane glared at Maggie and she just stood her ground.

"Haven't you done enough?" She said before walking into the house with her father. Hershel stopped and looked at us.

"I mean it... off my land." He said and walked inside.

Rick walked over to me and helped me up.

"Are you okay?" He asked as I held my side.

"I'm fine." I said that was till I pulled my hand away and saw it was covered in blood.

"Okay maybe not fine." I said and Rick helped me to the stairs and then he looked over at Shane.

"What are you doing?" Rick asked him.

"Daryl almost died looking for her, Rick. Any one of us could have. I'm gonna tell you right now...that's one of a bitch. He knew." Shane said to Rick. I just scoffed from the porch.

"You've got to be kidding me."

"He didn't know. He's not like that. He opened his home to us." Rick said with a sound of sadness in his voice.

"He put us all in danger. Man, he kept a barn full of walkers." I couldn't believe what Shane was saying.

"So, you just start an insurrection, hand out guns and massacre his family." Rick said.

"Shane, that man saved not only my life but Carl's. How can you be so hard headed." I asked from the stairs.

"Look at you two. Just like when we were kids ganging up on me. His family was already dead." Shane said, justifying his horrific actions.

"Well, he doesn't believe that. He thinks you just murdered them in cold blood." Rick told Shane and I kept pressing on my now open wound.

"No, man, I don't care what he thinks." Shane explained.

"How could you not care, Shane. What the hell happened to you. This isn't you Shane." I told him.

"I was handling it, brother. I was handling it and you just..." Rick said but Shane cut him off.

"You had us out in those woods. Looking for a little girl that every single one of us knew was dead! That's what you did. Rick, you're just as delusional as that guy." Shane said now pinning all his anger on Rick.

"Shane cut it out! No one asked for this okay. No one told Sophia to run off into the woods. And no one wanted to believe she was dead for Carol's sake." I said standing up as Shane walked off. When I stood up I got lightheaded and fell gripping the railing. Rick ran to my side and caught me.

"Raven." He said now realizing how much blood I was losing.

"Rick, you might want to get Hershel." I said before passing out.

Rick carried me into the house and Hershel told him that I had only broken the scarring on the outside and not the inside which was a good thing. Hershel stitched me up and Rick went out to help with the walkers.

"Ugh, god damnit." I said waking up and holding my side.

"You need to be more careful Raven." Maggie said and I let out an airy laugh.

"Yeah, I know. How's your dad and Beth." I asked her, sitting up.

"They'll get by." I nodded to her response.

"Tell your dad I said thanks." She smiled and nodded and I left the house. As I walked out everyone was burying the important ones and burning the rest of the bodies. I saw Rick up on the hill where we had our little thing.

"Hey cowboy." I said leaning on the fence.

"Raven, should you even be up and walking." He asked me and I shrugged. We stood there watching camp for a moment.

"Penny for your thoughts?" I ask him.

"I don't know if I'm doing the right thing." He said, his voice cracking.

"Rick, you cannot blame yourself. We did everything we could to protect her. We couldn't have known. And as for the camp, you've done amazing. You've protected everyone, you've helped keep them safe. They would probably be dead without you. Or at least had lost a lot more people." He gave me a sad smile.

"Thank you Raven. I don't know what I would do without you in my life." Rick gave me a hug and I hugged him back. That's when Lori came up the hill and told us that they were ready. We had a small service for Hershel's family and Sophia. This one took its toll on the group.

After the service they all went their separate ways. I went to my bike and grabbed my sniper. I decided I was going to clean it since it had been a bit since I last cleaned it. It took me about 20 minutes to clean my gun and I even cleaned my hand gun.

"Raven!" I heard Rick call.

"What's up Cowboy?" I hollered back to him.

"Come on I need my best shot." He said and I shrugged and got up grabbing my handgun, a few extra clips and my crossbow.

"What's going." I said after I jogged up to him.

"Hershel's missing. We gotta go find him." He said

"Well, he's not gonna like I'm going since he just patched me up but, fuck it." I said getting in the truck.

I sat in the middle between Glenn and Rick. We started down the road into the nearby town. It didn't take us long to get there. The trip was fairly quiet till Glenn couldn't take it anymore and he said something.

"Maggie said she loves me." He said I looked at him in shock and so did Rick.

"She doesn't mean it, I mean she can't. I mean well...she... she's upset or confused." Glenn ranted on and I giggled at how adorably in love with her he was. I looked over at Rick and nudged him as Glenn continued. Rick cut him off.

"I think she's smart enough to know what she's feeling." Glenn just shook his head.

"No. No." Rick and I bursted out laughing at this idiot in love.

"No, you know what? She wants to be in love, so she's... she needs something to...to, like hold onto." I stopped my giggling and threw my arm around Glenn's shoulders.

"Glenn, you lovable idiot. It's pretty obvious to everyone Maggie loves you, and not just because you're one of the last men standing. It's because you are easy to love. So what's wrong with her being in love with you. Accept it. You're not going to get another chance like this." I said after my little love speech that could definitely go on for longer I removed my arm and threw my feet on the dashboard.

"I didn't say it back." Glenn said after a few minutes. Rick hummed and I crossed my arms looking over at him with a slightly disapproving look.

"What? I've never had a woman say that to me before except my mom of course, and my sisters. But with Maggie, it's different. I mean, we barely know each other. What...What does she really know about me? Nothing. We're practically strangers. But I...I don't know what to do with it. I just stood there like a jerk." I took a deep breath.

"Hey, listen Glenn this isn't a bad thing. Okay, it's a good thing. It's something we don't really get anymore these days. Glenn, you found love in a world where love is harder to find than diamonds. You found a girl who loves you for who you are and who she has gotten to know. It's a beautiful thing that some of us single people, like myself, only wish we could find. Don't worry yourself too much. Maybe, you didn't say it back because you wanted to tell her when you got back. So just enjoy it while you have it. And when you get back you tell her." I said and Rick chimed in.

"Glenn, Raven's right plus it's not like she's going anywhere." Glenn nodded and smiled at us.

"Thanks you guys." He said as we rode into town. Before we got out Glenn said something that kind of set Rick on edge.

"Oh, Rick. I...um...I know about Lori. Her being pregnant. I got her those pills." Glenn said, almost confessing.

"I figured." He said with a sigh as he put the car in park. He got out first and Glenn was next. I went to slide out, Glenn said when Rick held out his hand for me. I took it and crawled out his door.

"Thanks." I whispered just loud enough for him and only him to hear. I slung my sniper over my shoulder and pulled out my hand gun, Rick did the same.

"Hey, I'm sorry I kept it from you." Glenn said to Rick and then it hit Glenn that I was there too.

"Oh, Raven. Did..." I cut him off.

"Glenn, it's fine. I already knew." I said with a fake smile. It was still hard for me to accept that fact but I had to.

"Don't be sorry. You did what you thought was right. It just so happens it wasn't." Rick said and that was the end of that conversation.

I sighed as we scouted the town. Rick was in the middle, Glenn on his left and me on his right. We kept our eyes out for walkers and the possibility of other living people. We made our way to the bar and once we got there Rick went in first, Glenn second, and I brought up the rear closing the door behind us as we entered. There sat a sad and drunk Hershel, in his hand a glass of who knows what. "Hershel." Rick called to him, partly making sure he was still alive.

"Who's with you?" He asked.

"Glenn and Raven." Rick said back to him as I put away my hand gun the boys followed suit.

"Maggie sent him?" Hershel said, referring to Glenn.

"He volunteered. He's good like that." Rick answered as we slowly approached him. Rick stood by Hershel as I watched the doors and windows.

"How many did you have?" Rick asked him as he took another drink.

"Not enough." Hershel responded.

"Let's finish this up back at home." Rick suggested. But, I could tell from Hershel's body language he wasn't ready to go anywhere. I approached Rick and placed a hand on his back and he moved away and I stood where Rick once did.

"Hershel, Beth collapsed, she's in some sort of state of shock maybe. We aren't sure but, your daughter needs you." I said in a loving voice hoping that would get to him.

"Maggie's with her?" He asked me, worried in his eyes.

"Yes, but. Beth needs you. She needs her father." I begged him.

"What can I do?" He said and I looked over at Rick. He stepped back to his place and I stepped away.

"She needs her mother. Not her father. Or rather to mourn like she should've done weeks ago. I robbed her of that. I see that now." Hershel said, taking another drink. His words were like small little knives cutting at my heart. How could he blame himself when it wasn't his fault. It was frustrating when people who had done nothing wrong found a way to blame themselves. And Hershel, this sweet old man. The man that saved my life and Carl's life. The man who opened his home to our group was blaming himself, and it hurt me.

"You thought there was a cure. Can't blame yourself for holding out for hope." Rick told him basically saying what I was thinking.

"Hope? When I first saw you running across my field with your boy in your arms, and Shane with Raven in his, I had a little hope they would survive." Hershel said with a pause.

"Hershel, we did survive. Carl and I, you saved our lives." I said from next to Rick.

"You did. You both did. Even though we lost Otis. Your man Shane made it back and we saved your boy and you, Raven. That was the miracle that proved miracles do exist." He paused and a look of pain and anger flashed across his face.

"Only it was a sham, a bait and switch. I was a fool, Rick, and you people saw that. My daughters deserve better than that." Hershel stopped and finished his drink pouring himself another one. Rick looked at me like he was asking for help and I shook my head not sure what to say or do.

Glenn was by the door looking out for walkers.

"So what do we do? Wait for him to pass out?" Glenn asked Rick.

"Just go. Just go!" Hershel said.

"I promised Maggie I'd bring you home safe." Rick said going back to talk to Hershel. Rick's words caused Hershel to laugh.

"Like you promised that little girl?" This caused everyone to stop, Hershel hit a nerve with that and he knew it.

"So, what's your plan? Finish that bottle? Drink yourself to death and leave your girls alone?" Rick said, rushing up to Hershel. I could tell Rick was pissed with what he had said and me. It just hurt because he was right. We did promise to bring her home safe and we didn't. Hershel placed his glass down and got in Rick's face.

"Stop telling me how to care for my family, my farm. You people are like a plague! I do the Christian thing, give you shelter, and you destroyed it all!" Hershel yelled at all three of us at this point.

"The world was already in bad shape when we met." Rick said and Hershel barked back at him.

"And you take no responsibility! You're supposed to be their leader! You and Raven!" Well, I'm here now, aren't I?" The two men stood in silence for a second. The tension in the room was thick like butter. You couldn't slice through it with a knife.

"Yes. Yes, you are." Hershel said before sitting back down.

"Come on. Your girls need you now more than ever." Rick grabbed a hold of Hershel, but he just pulled away.

"I didn't want to believe you. You told me there was no cure, that these people were dead, not sick. I chose not to believe that. But when Shane shot Lou in the chest and she just kept coming, that's when I knew what an ass I'd been, that Annette had been dead long ago and I was feeding a rotten corpse! That's when I knew there was no hope. And when that little girl came out of the barn, the look on your face..the look on Raven's face...I knew you both knew it too. Right? There is no hope. And you know it now, like I do. Don't you?" Hershel stopped and Rick looked over at me as I quickly wiped a few stray tears he looked over at Glenn then back to Hershel.

"There is no hope for any of us." Hershel finished going back to his drink.

'No hope maybe he was right, but I didn't think there was any hope to begin with.' I said to myself looking out the door into the rotting world we call home now.