I woke up in bed and my side was killing me and I smelled like a wet dog. "Ugh. Fuck." I said as I gripped my head and side. I looked over to my arm which had an IV bag hooked up to it. I ripped the IV out and hobbled out into the hall. No one was there.

"Hello?" I called out in a very hoarse voice. It felt like my throat was made out of sandpaper. I coughed and walked down the stairs trying not to fall over. I walked around the house when I heard people talking outside. I walked out the door, the bright sun nearly blinding me.

"Ugh, fuck. Who asked for this much sun?" I said out loud shielding my eyes from the sun but still holding my side. I noticed almost everyone was down by the cars. I could see Daryl from the pouch and a rage filled my veins. He would have let me die to save a girl who was for sure dead by now. I looked away from him before I made a mistake and killed his redneck ass.

I looked around and saw Dale. He spotted me from over by the RV. I waved at him and he looked shocked. I saw him, saw something and everyone turned and faced me. Shane and Rick came running to my side and Hershel wasn't far behind them. And so was fucking Daryl. I all of the sudden felt lightheaded. I gripped the porch for support.

"Raven!" Shane and Rick yelled at me.

"Hey there boys." I said with an airy laugh and a wince.

"What are you doing out of bed?!" Shane yelled at me.

"Not gonna lay there all damn day when there's still a little girl missing. And I needed to see my nephew." I told him to take a step away from him. Like hell I was going to be all up and on him like we used to be. Not after what he did and I think he thought I would have forgotten that after almost dying.

"You need to rest. You could rip your stitches and I didn't work that hard for you to bleed out and actually die." Hershel told me.

"Wait, what do you mean actually die?" I said almost falling over. Rick caught me since he was the one closest to me.

"Hershel had to revive you twice. We didn't think you were going to make it through the night." Rick told me to help me back to my feet.

"You honestly think one little bullet is gonna kill me. After everything I've been through. Come on Grimes. Give me some credit." I said and then pain flooded my body.

"Ugh!" I moaned my legs giving out on me. Rick caught me and picked me up bridal style.

"Careful there, Grimes. Your wife might get jealous." I said laughing and then coughing up blood. I looked down at my hand.

"Oh that's not good." I said.

Rick rushed me back up to my bed and Hershel looked at my side.

"You tore open the stitches I had to put inside you. You're internally bleeding." He said, grabbing his bag.

"Oh great. My day just gets better." I said with a fake laugh that was hiding my real pain.

"Raven, why did you leave the damn bed." Rick scolded me.

"Because Rick. That little girl is out there lost and it's my fault." I said right before Hershel cut the outside stitches and opened the wound causing me to scream bloody murder.

"Fuck some warning next time doc?" I said with labor breaths.

"Rick, go get Daryl. I'm gonna need him." Hershel told Rick and I immediately grabbed Rick's hand.

"Don't. If I see him I'm gonna kill him." I said and then another scream came out of me.

"Raven. We need him. You're losing blood and he needs to be here to give you more." Hershel said and I dropped my hand to grip the sides of the bed as I felt more pain in my side. It was strange to actually be awake as someone was digging inside you. I bit my lip keeping the screams of pain in. I could taste my own blood from how hard I was biting myself. Just then Daryl came in.

"Rick said ya' need me." He said to Hershel.

"Yes I do. Sit down, she needs blood." He said and Patricia hooked up the transfusion to him and me. I could feel Hershel start to stitch up the torn artery in my side. I screamed out not being able to hold it in.

"FUCK!!!!" I yelled my knuckles turning white from how hard I was gripping the bed. I felt a hand lay on mine and I looked over to see it was Daryls hand. I pulled it away from him and he looked at me shocked.

"Fuck you." I hissed as Hershel finished the inside stitches and started on the outside ones. I looked at Daryl and he seemed sad, almost heart broken by what I had said.

"Okay done. Now you stay in this bed until I say otherwise. We don't have enough medical supplies and he doesn't have enough blood to be doing this again." Hershel said before leaving the room. Patricia waited a few more minutes to remove the transfusion from our arms.

"Okay you're done. But you may want to stay seated for about an hour longer." She told Daryl and he nodded and she left.

"Raven?" Daryl said, looking at me.

"Don't fucking talk to me." I said I was still in lots of pain. I was pissed off at him. I knew I wouldn't be this bad if he had just come when I needed him.

"Please let me explain."

"No, Daryl. There's nothing to explain you choose Carol and her daughter over your dying girlfriend." I yelled at him pausing after 'girlfriend'. "No you know what I wasn't your girlfriend I was nothing just some chick who you could fuck. Well guess what. I'm done. You and Carol can live your happy fucking lives. I see where your fucking priority's lie." I said laying back against the pillow pulling the blanket over me.

"Raven it's not like that." He started and I cut him off.

"No Daryl. I don't need your excuse. Thanks for the blood now, get the hell out." I said rolling on my good side away from him. I heard the chair squeak and then some shuffling.

There was a pause, nothing but silence other than my heartbeat and the people outside organizing a search for Sophia. Then I heard the door open and slam close. I almost regretted what I had said to him. I like him a lot. Not love at least not yet. Maybe if we had more time or something changed and I didn't almost die because of him. Maybe just maybe I could love him. Maybe I just needed time. I heard the door open and a sweet light voice came in.

"I brought you some food." I sat up and saw a little girl, maybe 17 or 18 years old. She was blonde with blue eyes. She sat the food down on the nightstand next to me.

"Thank you." I said grabbing the plate.

"I'm Beth. You'll probably meet my sister, her name is Maggie. She was really worried about you." I smiled

"Well it's nice to meet you Beth. Sorry it had to be like this and not me on any other day." She let out a light laugh.

"It's okay. I still think you're kind of a bad ass. Don't tell my dad I said that. I'm supposed to be the innocent good girl." She said I zipped my lips and crossed my heart.

"Your secret is safe with me." I said and she nodded and left the room. I ate the sandwich she had made me. It was the best damn thing I had eaten in months. I finished the food and fell asleep. I knew my body needed rest. I just didn't think I would fall asleep that easy. But it didn't last due to the nightmares.

I was driving an ATV with my group. We're one our way back to camp from helping some villagers nearby. It was me, Damian, Johnny, Zach, and Kal. It was always just us 5. We were the best of the best. They used to call us the kill squad. When there was an important job that needed to be done or someone that needed to be killed they sent us. I could hear Zach, Kal, and Damian joking about how many girls they were going to bang when we got home. I shook my head and looked at Johnny.

"They are so immature." I said with a laugh Johnny laughed too

"They're like dogs in heat." We both laughed and the boys in the back stopped talking.

"What did you say, Wood?" I heard Damian say.

"I called you a bitch in heat." Johnny said. The other two laughed and Damian clapped back at Johnny.

"Watch it or I'll kick your ass. You don't know what it's like because your fucking Raven." Damian said

"oh shit."

"Damian you didn't." Zach and Kal said knowing what I was capable of.

"Watch it Jones or I'll come back there and kick your ass again!" I said I was still focused on the road.

"Sorry Captain." Damian said the rest of us just laughed until our truck was hit by an explosion that sent the truck rolling over a few times and then once it stopped we were upside down.

"Ugh. Sound off. Is everyone okay?" I said undoing my seat belt.

"I'm good." Kal said from the back.

"Same here." Damian said.

"Still alive." Johnny said next to me.

"Zach?" I said I looked back and Zach's neck was twisted and his arm was gone

"Zach!" I yelled the other three men had gotten out and I was trying to get to Zach but was pulled out of the car by Johnny.

"He's Dead Raven. We need to go. It's going to blow." He said dragging me with him.

We got about 10 feet before the car exploded sending us flying into the sand. I got up and my ears were ringing. I pulled Johnny to his feet. I looked around and saw Kal standing over Damian.

"Kal? What is it?" I asked him, as I jogged over to him. There lay Damian with a piece of the metal from the car sticking out of his face. Almost like something from a movie but this. This was real. We were all snapped out of our thoughts by the sound of gunshots aiming right at us.

"Go get to cover!" I yelled to the two men. We found some rocks and hid behind them. The bullets ricocheted off the rock. I pulled out my rifle and mounted it on the rock. I looked around and found a man shooting at us. I shot him right in the head and moved on to the next. Kal was shooting in the direction of the shots. We couldn't really see where they were. Well except me. I counted 23 men minus the one I had already killed.

"I count 23." I said leaning back against the rock.

"How many can you take out? Kal and I can get the rest." I looked at my ammo packs.

"I got 12 bullets left." I said loading up my gun again. We hadn't packed too heavy because we weren't going to be gone for long.

"Okay I'm gonna start one the guys in the middle you guys cover me." I said

"you got it." Johnny told me and Kal nodded in response. I set up bullets whizzing past my head. I took out about 8 of them before I noticed that my cover was gone. I looked to my left and Kal had a bullet hole in his head and to my Right Johnny was knocked out. I turned around and looked up and a man in a mask hit me and everything went black.

I woke up chained up by my wrists and stopped down to my light green tank top and still in my cargo pants. My feet were barely touching the ground. I looked up and was face to face with Johnny who had one black eye, his lip was cut and he had cuts over his chiseled chest and up his arms.

"Johnny?" I whispered not wanting to be too loud that our kidnappers would hear me. He stirred and looked up at me. Tears filled my eyes and he looked at me with sadness and a new found brokenness that I had never seen.

"Raven?" He said, spitting out some blood.

"God what did they do to you?" I said tears falling down my face.

"I'm fine, little bird." He said. That was my code name and nickname. It fits for me considering my name.

"You're not fine, Johnny." I said kinda whisper yelling.

"Raven quiet. If they hear you they will hurt you too. I can't let them hurt you." He said just then the sound of a metal door opening rang through the room. I faked being knocked out still as someone approached us.

"So will you tell us where your base is or do we have to continue this?" A man with a thick Arab accent said.

"Go to hell." Johnny said.

"So be it." The man stood now between Johnny and I. I could hear the sound of flesh being sliced and Johnny hissing in response.

"Tell us and we will stop." The man said again.

"Never." Johnny said the man then stopped.

"We must try something different." I felt someone walk behind me and they yanked my hair. I kept my face still even though I wanted to kick him in his dick and keep beating his ass.

"Tell us." He said this time placing his blade to my neck.

"Please leave her alone. Hurt me but leave her be." Johnny begged the same sadness that was in his face now showing in his voice.

"Oh so you care for this American whore." He said and then I felt him let me go. I let my body go limp, tears threatening to spill from my eyes. He stood in front of me and cut my tank off my body. He then dragged his knife from under my right breast across my stomach down to my left hip. I screamed in pain and shot up.

"Ah so you are not dead. We were worried we had hit you too hard." He said and then he dragged his knife down my forearm. I yelped and felt the blood dripping from my arm into my black hair. I had dyed it back for something different being a natural blonde kinda sucked. He let out a sickening laugh and looked over at Johnny.

"Tell us where and we will stop." Johnny looked up at me and I shook my head.

"Don't. That's an order." I said and this caused the man to look at me.

"Oh so you're the leader of this group. And here we thought it was him." The man said now focused on me. He stepped closer and I could smell his BO and nasty breath. It was like the man didn't know what a shower and toothpaste was.

"Rot in hell you sand rat." I said and spit in his face. This angered him and he sent a right hook right into my face. He gave me a black eye and a pretty nasty gash on my cheek. I could feel the blood run down my face.

"Raven!" Johnny yelled, pulling at his cuffs that were above his head.

"Tell me where your camp is." The man said again, getting in my face. I laughed out loud.

"You think I'd tell scum like you anything." I said with a sneer.

"Fine you'll regret this." He said. He stripped me down to absolutely nothing. I stood in front of Johnny butt ass naked and vulnerable.

I jumped up from my bed sweat beading up on my forehead. I took some deep breaths and reached down grabbing the dog tags around my neck. I pulled my knees to my chest and ran my fingers over the punched out letters that spelled Johnny's name. Tears ran down my face and I decided to get some air. I pulled myself out of the bed and hobbled over to the window. I opened it completely and took a breath of the fresh night air. I noticed the roof of the porch was right under the window and so I decided to get on the roof. I pulled myself through the small window and sat down leaning against the wall behind me. The cool summer breeze felt good on my wound and my exposed skin. I was staring up at the stars enjoying the night when I felt like someone was watching me. I looked down at the ground by the camp when I noticed a shadow move under the tree in the front yard. I watched the shadow for a bit, noticing the tall muscular figure.

"Daryl?" I whisper to myself and as if on cue Daryl stepped out of the shadows.

"Hey little bird, I got something for ya'." He said holding up my favorite pack of cigarettes. I sat up with a small smile on my face and I gestured for Daryl to join me on the roof. He walked over and hopped up on the railing of the porch then he pulled himself up and onto the roof. He walked over and sat down next to me holding out the cigarettes.

"Thanks." I said taking them and pulling out one with my lips.

I started to search through my pockets for my signature zippo. I started to worry because I couldn't find it. It wasn't actually mine, it used to be Johnny's he had given it to me on our first tour together.

"Here." I heard Daryl day holding out the zippo. I sighed in relief and took the lighter.

"It fell out of your pocket when Rick carried you into the house earlier today." Daryl said, taking a long drag of his own cigarette.

"Thanks for grabbing it." I told him, taking my own drag letting them sweet nicotine fill my lungs. I breathed out and Daryl and I sat there in silence for a moment, but I couldn't take it any longer.

"Daryl, what are you doing here?" I breathed out as I was about to start my second cigarette.

"I...I'm not good with this stuff...I wanted to apologize." He said and I couldn't believe him.

"Apologize? Really Daryl? You left me for dead. Daryl, I'm sorry but no. You chose Carol and her daughter over me. And honestly that hurt me way more than that bullet that I took." I said trying not to yell or be too loud that way I didn't wake anyone because I knew it was late.

"Raven, it ain't like that." Daryl said, trying to defend himself.

"Ain't like what Daryl. It sure as hell seems like you would rather choose her over me. What is it about her that gots you all wrapped around her finger? Is she better then me? What is it? Because honestly I can't figure it out." I said to him, fighting back tears.

"Nothing Raven. You don't compare to her. Carol and I are just friends. How many times do I have to tell you that I am sorry." Daryl basically begged for my forgiveness.

"Daryl you basically left to fucking die. I don't think I'll ever be able to forgive you." I said finishing my cigarette.

"Raven..." Daryl started as I stood up.

"Daryl, don't. This is all already hard enough. Please don't make it worse. Maybe one day we could maybe try again." I said climbing back through the window and closing it half way leaving Daryl there on the roof. I laid in bed staring at the ceiling wishing I was somewhere else. That I hadn't fallen for my best friend and some strange redneck. Rick and Daryl together reminded me of Johnny. I think that's why I've fallen for them. I drifted off to sleep thinking about simpler times.