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"Cause wishin' and hopin' and thinkin' and prayin', plannin' and dreamin' his kisses will starttttt," Jamie sang out as I clutched onto her.

I was laughing.

I couldn't stop laughing.

This was the funniest fucking thing ever.

"Jamie," I managed to say, in between laughs, "Steady yourself."

"All you gotta do is hold him, and kiss him and squeeze him and love him," she sang into my ear. I giggled and faced her. Her breath was warm and she smelled like whiskey and chocolate. I liked whiskey and chocolate.

She sighed and dropped her head on my shoulder and I used my right hand to steady her accordingly. We should've listened to Holden and stayed over like everyone else but I was sober enough so I insisted that heading back was okay. What I didn't know was that I'd have to practically carry Jamie the whole way. But drunk Jamie managed to provide me more than enough entertainment to regret the decision.

I pushed the key in the lock of the room with my left hand and after struggling with it for a good 30 seconds, I managed to figure out which side to turn to.

"Meow."

Fucking great.

Jamie started giggling as she gripped onto my shirt, "That's my cat."

I laughed as I pushed both of us inside the dorm, "I know."

Flesh came towards us and tried curling himself around Jamie's legs. I cursed and picked her up, keeping the little beast at bay and put her down on the top of her bed, tactfully tackling the so-called cat, who went and hid himself under Jamie's bed.

I then stretched my arms and started walking towards my side, genuinely ready to accept sleep.

Jamie groaned, "Where are you going?"

"To my side of the room," I said, pulling off my coat.

"No."

I turned around and faced her, "No?"

She grinned sloppily and patted on her bed, "Edvin, let's talk."

"Huh?"

"I don't know anything about you and you're living with me. Let's talk!"

"Okay, about what?" I asked as I flopped on the spaced she'd made.

Oh come on, the girl was piss drunk. This had to be funny.

"I don't know but don't you think this is great?"

"What is?"

"Us being able to spend the week together," she smiled, "Talking can actually be safe for once."

I furrowed my brow, "How do you mean?"

Jamie yawned, "We might never see each other again, realistically speaking. I don't plan to come to Sweden anytime soon and you don't seem like you're ever coming back here again. It can be like a safe space to just... dump out, I guess. I mean, not that I've ever not dumped out on every single person I call my friend but like, just there's always that risk of betrayal I never think about. But it's happened once or twice."

"I thought we were becoming friends?" I asked.

"Well, yeah."

"Don't friends meet each other?"

She smiled sardonically, "They don't cross countries solely for each other."

True.

"I hate letting people go," I admitted, turning towards her side instead of facing the ceiling, "I hate it a lot."

She nodded into the pillow and put her hand on mine. Her hands were warm. She then side-glanced towards me and said, "Leaving is a part of life. You can't meet new people until you let go of some of the old ones."

I hummed, "Yeah, I know. It's just people are so unique, you know? You just know that you'll never meet someone like them. They have these specific.... traits.... habits.... that just put them apart and I just hate letting those little details go away. It's always been more visible to me as an actor I guess, the little things."

She then turned towards me. We were facing each other. She had so many freckles on her cheeks.

She tentatively brushed a stay strand of hair off my face, "Sorry. I'm not very good with comfort and I'm sure I won't be able to remember this tomorrow," I laughed and she grinned, "but all I can say is that when people are important to you, they stay. Even if they're not there physically, you can always feel their imprints in your heart. I think that's what's important."

I was looking at her.

"You worry too much about what's next, Edvin. You have your whole life to figure your shit out. Stop thinking about what's gonna happen. Right now you're here. So, stay. Floating away from the good moments is the worst punishment one can give themselves."

I wanted to say something.

I had nothing to say.

She then turned away from me and pulled her blanket over her with one hand.

"I think we should make a list," she proclaimed and pushed out her hands from the blanket and expanded them as though presenting me a vision of the future, "The Christmas list of Jamie and Edvin."

My lips twitched, "Yeah, you think that's a good idea?"

She whispered, "Oh yeah, totally!"

I chuckled, "And what would we include in that list?"

She shrugged happily, "I've never celebrated Christmas before."

"No?"

"Mhm, my parents are Buddhists. We always sang some of the carols though and ate great food. I even used to get gifts until I was 10."

"What happened after you turned 10?"

"I guess I was just expected to understand that gifts were for birthdays and if I wanted something I could just ask for it."

I snorted, "Well. Don't you have any siblings?"

"No. You?"

"Yeah, three."

She grinned, "Four kids! That sounds like so much fun!"

"Until it doesn't."

She chuckled, "What did you do on Christmas?"

I smiled as all the good memories circulating the holiday came back and a sudden wave of nostalgia hit me.

Shit, I missed my family.

"My sisters and I always used to put up the Christmas tree. My brother used to do it with us until he knocked down the tree with his skateboard one Christmas and got a smack on the arse from mom. Now he just stays away from it."

She giggled.

"Then we used to sit and watch Christmas movies. Get each other presents. Talk. There was a lot of traditional Swedish stuff too but just to keep it simple for you, we visited church on Christmas Eve. And then we used to have a, um, buffet?.... yeah, buffet kind of dinner. And my eldest sister dressed up as tomte."

She hummed, looking at me intently, "What's a tomte?"

"Oh, right. It's a gnome. I've always found it kinda scary actually."

She frowned and intertwined our already joint hands, as to get a better grip, "Why do yall dress up as gnomes?"

I shrugged lightly, "It's sort of like the Swedish version of Santa Claus."

"The Swedish version of Santa Claus is a scary gnome?"

I groaned, "It's Nordic mythology! I can't explain."

She laughed, "Don't get all wound up."

"Then I used to make straw ornaments with my younger sister. Except for that one year, my sister went into a VSCO, was it? VSCO girl phase thingie. Bloody nuisance. Didn't let us bring straw into the house and it wasn't even like the straw that killed the turtles. But she was 12 and annoying so we let it be. Bought ornaments from the store. And they were plastic! Psshh."

Jamie's laugh echoed in the room. Flash the cat seemed to acknowledge the sound with a little 'meow'.

"And mulled wine," I continued, "My mom and dad used to drink mulled wine. I got to take a sip when I turned 14, fucking disgusting."

"I thought wine is nice."

"You'd think so," I snorted.

"What?" she asked and yawned again.

I yawned too, "Nothing."

"What else?"

"Pepparkakor!" I exclaimed, as though I forgot the most important thing.

"What's that?"

I paused.

"Er, I can't remember what we call it in English."

"But like, is it something to drink or?"

"Oh, right. It's cookies, you know, the ones yall shape like a man. It was in Shrek too!"

She laughed drowsily, "Gingerbread?"

"Yeah, gingerbread!"

Jamie grinned, "Did your mom make those?"

I could smell the cookies from memory. My mom getting them out of the oven. Us crowding around and fighting for the biggest cookie. Until dad came and picked it up as it was too problematic. Sneaky old man.

"Mhm," I smiled, "Mum made them."

"My mom sucks at cooking," Jamie said, "Dad did most of it. He made these awesome snickerdoodle cookies. I loved them."

We were just looking at each other now. Observing. Understanding. Talking. Listening. Our hands were still joint.

"Tell me about your siblings," she requested, adjusting her head on the pillow.

"There's Thomas, who is 23. He's in law school. We always had a close bond growing up. Played football together all the time. Then, Tessie, who is 22, she's a drummer. She's mostly freelancing these days. She's so cool. Like, she's so unafraid of every fucking thing. You'd like her. Then there's good ol' me and last you have Eliana. She's still in high school. She's 16. Pain in the arse. Going through some gothic phase right now. Mum says her room looks like Halloween."

Jamie chuckled and said, "High school is made for personality experimentation."

"Did you have a crazy phase?"

"I once became super obsessed with Houdini and did magic tricks for a whole year. Didn't wear a cape or anything but just some basic stuff."

"Like?"

She finally let go of my hand. She showed me the palm of her left hand.

"Empty?"

I nodded.

Then she circled her wrist around my ear and showed me a coin.

"Where did that come from?!" I asked, squinting at the piece of metal she'd somehow extracted from my ear.

Jamie grinned and wriggled the fingers of her hand, "Magic."

I let out an impressed laugh and looked at her.

She yawned, "Edvin?"

"Hm?"

"Let's make that list in the morning, yeah?"

Oh. But I want to talk.

I got up, "No, yeah, morning."

"Can you switch off the main light and turn on my nightlight please?" she mumbled.

I did as she asked. The yellow light of the nightlight was the only thing in the darkness that kept her in my vision. There was one adjective I hadn't really assigned Jamie Russo and now, just now, I realised that no other word fit her more.

Dynamic.

She was dynamic.

All possible definitions of it.

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A/N: YES I'M STILL ALIVE. So, I know my exams got over on the 13th but then I partied for a few days and then I got sick from all the partying. So, here's the sixth chapter! Also, I'm not Swedish, as you might've already guessed, and I've included a lot of Swedish Christmas references that I read online. So, if there's something I've written which is stupid or culturally wrong, please don't hesitate to correct me as my knowledge is solely from google. All the love.