《The Chapstick Girl》Damien

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Damien's pov:

We.

Almost.

Kissed.

Looking into the bathroom mirror in the boys locker room, the first thing I noticed was the tint of red on my cheeks.

I really hope Amber didn't notice how flustered I was when her dad interrupted our...

...maybe kiss?

I don't know!!!!!!!!

I have no idea what came over me in that moment. I guess you can say my mind went blank and my body just took over by itself.

But that wouldn't make sense... right?

I've never felt this way towards any girl before...

Not like...

I uhm...

You know...

I even talk to any girls besides the ones in my friend group in the first place.

Which in a way I guess is quite pathetic... but in MY DEFENSE that goes the same with Jake, Zander, and Ashton.

Although Zander is gay...

And Ashton just doesn't like people in general...

And Jake...

Well Jake is just Jake.

But that is besides the point!!!

I just really hope that things won't be awkward between Amber and I.

I really like where we are right now as friends, so I am just praying that my stupid butt didn't mess things up.

Because Amber is someone who has came to be someone really special to me.

I've found it really easy to open up to her and talk about things that I haven't been able to get off my chest in a while.

And no matter what it is, somehow, she always has the right words to say.

This may or may not surprise you, but I've always been like this. Since the earliest I could remember, I've always had trouble trusting and getting to know people.

Although I wish there was a better word to describe me, the closest word that I can think of would have to be introverted.

Very... VERY introverted.

One thing that made it especially hard to open up to people was my sister.

Not a lot of people know about her condition, or the fact that I even have a sister to begin with.

And it's not like I'm embarrassed of her, if anything, I'm quite proud that I get to call her my little sister. She is one of strongest people I have ever met.

Even though I am the older brother, there are many times where I actually find myself looking up to her, wishing that I could be as strong as her.

So it's not that I don't tell people for that reason...

But if word gets around, I fear that people may start to pity me, or try and bring it up in a conversation at school.

I guess I'm afraid of having a constant reminder that my sister is suffering alone in that hospital room every single day, and that there is nothing that I can do about it.

There are only four people who know about my sister, and they are Ashton, Julie, Zander, and Amber.

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It's not that I don't trust the others, I honestly trust them more than anything!

I think I've just been so comfortable with only the bare minimum amount of people knowing, I just don't want that to change.

"Damien, you ready?!" Luke shouts from the other end of the locker room, scaring me slightly as I quickly nod my head.

"Y-yeah just give me a second to put my shoes on." I stutter, trying to tie my shoe laces as quickly as I can.

"Hey are you okay?" He asks, stepping a little bit more into the locker room while closing the door behind him.

"I'm okay, why wouldn't I be?" I ask, avoiding eye contact as I switch my feet to tie my other shoe lace.

"I don't know, you just seem off. Are you sure there isn't anything that is bothering you?" I look up to see him standing only a few feet away from me, arms crossed with a curious but worried gaze in his eyes.

"Really, I'm okay." I stand up straight before trying my best to muster up a small smile, but I knew that he could probably tell that it was forced.

But thankfully he didn't push it, he just nodded his head and walked out, while muttering a "be ready in three on the mats."

Having the locker room to myself again, I take a deep breath before frustratedly running my hands through my hair.

Damien just don't think about what would have been a kiss between you and Amber.

Just think of it as nothing! You must not be in the right state of mind. Maybe that history test really did exceed the limit for you.

That has to be it!!

But apart of me knew that deep down...

That simply was not the case.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Again!!!" Coach yells at two of my teammates.

Thankfully, today was one of those practices where we would be going one on one against each other.

Although I believe in coach and his ways of running practice...

Some of the workouts that he gives us aren't really... let's just say aren't really to my liking.

Plus, they make me really sweaty and stinky afterwards, and I would feel really bad if I made Amber have to wait for me to shower before hanging out.

There I go again!!!!

Amber somehow always finding a way to invade my thoughts over and over again.

If I had a penny for every time that her name would be brought up in my head...

I would-.... uh-.... I would probably have a lot of pennies I guess.

...

But seriously though, when I find myself not being around her physically, she seems to always be there mentally.

And it's strange because we haven't even known each other that long, but for some reason, it didn't take that long for her to already have a big impact on me.

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I mean, it was only the second day of knowing her that I told her about my sister.

Actually I can't even say that... she MET my sister the second day of knowing her.

It took me TWO YEARS to tell Ashton, who was the first person I told.

It kinda scares me that I feel so comfortable around someone who I haven't known for that long...

But on the other hand, I feel quite relieved.

It's takes a while for me to open up to somebody, and often, it's stresses me out that I'm not able to trust them and be myself around them...

It's hard being somebody who you're not.

But when I'm around Amber, I am nothing but myself.

I'm not afraid to be a little goofy, a little loud or even maybe a little clingy.

That's the total opposite of how I am when I meet someone new.

Thinking of her again, I look up in the stands, feeling my heart begin to pick up it's pace as I see her watching my teammates who were going one on one.

I could tell that she was concentrated because whenever she is, she would unknowingly squint her eyes or chew on her bottom lip, but nevertheless I found it cute.

"Watcha lookin at?" A voice scares me out of my thoughts, causing me to jump up and quickly turn around to see Luke and Liam looking at me with knowing looks on their faces.

I assumed that they put two and two together and already knew that I was looking up at Amber...

But I think playing it safe would be my safer option.

"N-nothing." I say, trying to act as normal as possible, but I couldn't help but put on a nervous sweat at their smug looking faces.

"Are you sure? It seems to me that you were looking up at the same area where Amber is sitting. What a coincidence." Liam teases, while looking at Luke, who chuckles at his words.

"Woah that is a coincidence, it's funny how things happen like that." Luke nudges my arm, as I embarrassingly cover my face with my hands.

"Okay, okay! You caught me. Yes I was looking at Amber, you happy now!" I say, before hearing two loud laughs from in front of me.

This goes on for a few more seconds until I feel a pat on my back, "It's nothing to be ashamed of! There is nothing wrong with crushin-..." I quickly cover Luke's mouth with my hand as I look around, hoping that no one was listening in on our conversation.

"I already told you! We are just friends. I think... well maybe not any-..." My eyes widen as I quickly shut my mouth while tightly shutting my eyes, praying that those words didn't just come out of my mouth.

But they did.

And they were definitely heard.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN MAYBE NOT ANY-..." with my other hand, I now find myself slapping a hand over Liam's mouth, knowing that I wouldn't be able to find an excuse to the words that already came out of my mouth.

Jake tries to say something also, but since his mouth was still covered by my hand, it came out as a mumble.

Taking a couple seconds to gather my thoughts, I take a deep breath before letting go of their mouths with my hands, "If I tell you this, promise me that you won't freak out."

They both look at each other before looking back at me with curious gazes in their eyes, staying silent to show that they were all ears.

"I almost-... I mean we almost..." I try to say it, but the nervousness in my chest makes it harder than I thought it would be.

Come on Damien...

It's not big deal.

...

Okay it definitely is a big deal but DON'T FREAKOUT!

"It's okay if you don't want to-..."

"We almost kissed!" I rush out, watching as both their mouths drop.

There were a few seconds of silence as both of them just stared at me in shock.

"Damien that's-..."

"I F*CKING KNEW IT!!!!! I KNEW IT!!! I KNEW IT!!! I KNEW IT-..." Liam shouts at the top of his lungs, grabbing the attention of everyone in the room as he jumps around excitedly.

"Liam!" Luke harshly whispers, trying to calm his excited state down before coach comes over, but it was too late, because in the split of a second, Coach was already standing in front of us, arms crossed.

"Oh shit." Liam and Luke both whisper under their breath as they look up at Coach, who had confusion, but a slight look of "not impressed" on his face.

Fun fact, Coach is not a fan of practice being interrupted...

By anyone.

Even if we are on his good side...

"Please enlighten me on what you knew that needed to be shouted across our practice room and interrupt practice for?" Coach asks, tapping his foot against the ground as the three of us look at each other with guilty looks.

"Nothing Coach." Liam says, glancing at me before looking Coach straight in the eyes.

He looks at the three of us for a moment before shaking his head. He turns around and begins to head back towards the mats, making us think that we are in the clear.

"Sixty pushups, on the ground now!"

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