Covered in the raincoat, Anuj rushed to the open parking space, his hand raised slightly to shield his eyes against the torrential downpour. As he turned the key in his rental's door, his eyes flew towards the splendor standing near the hotel entrance and Anuj paused.

The road to Kangra was a dangerous maze of curves carved along the mountain, he recollected from his earlier travels. But he needed to reach there at the earliest. And the car wasn't going to make the cut if he was to take into account, the debris that would have come down at some places along the road, owing to the rain.

Withdrawing his hands, Anuj quickly jogged back to the entrance and talked the man into lending him his bike, in exchange for therental's key. The man patted his back in understanding when he heard Anuj plead about how his loved one was probably stuck in Kangra. As Anuj found the bikekey placed in his hand, he nodded grateful and wore the offered helmet, raising the shield to get a clear view of the road ahead.

His fingers shook as he threw his leg over the bike and turned the key. Legs that had run out of practice 20 years back, found their footing while his fingers squeezed the clutch and gripped the handle tightly.

As the engine revved to life, his heart pounded and he felt it despite the onslaught of rain. That unfortunate night when he had lost his parents, had been the last of his biking days. Every time, he would feel remotely tempted to drive the two wheeler, a sickening feeling of guilt and regret would wrap itself around him like a snake and suffocate him. He had never tried to loosen it, for he believed that he deserved every part of it and much worse. That feeling of dread was still wrapped around his neck like a chain and was suffocating him, blurry words of his suggestion of racing ringing in his ears.

But Anuj twisted the throttle harder as bike roared distinctly, drowning out other unnecessary voices. He clenched his jaw and squeezed his eyes shut. If he allowed his unfortunate past to drag him down today, his future would cease to exist and the present he had barely salvaged would become just as miserable as his history.

Eyes flying open in determination then, Anuj gently let goof the clutch and kicked the bike into motion, as the vehicle carried forward.Old regrets aside, he was not going to regret his incapability in failing the woman he loved. No, if it was to come to that, he would rather die trying. But he would not cower, he would not shake...no longer, no more. This Anuj kapadia was not going to fail.

History would not recur. Never again.

The gear shifted and Anuj whizzed out of the hotel driveway.His destination- Anupama.

The curves were tricky. Weather was crafty. His memory was hazy,and his skills rusty. His earlier proclamations aside, picking up speed in this maze of bends was a confirmed reservation for death. His eyes darted to the deep ravines along which he was driving. Slight miscalculation and he would begone. And thus, trying to maintain his calmness despite the unease in his heart, he drove carefully. It didn't seem like rain was going to let up any time soon, but what good would he be to Anu,dead? And he had promised Mukku too.

After some 25 minutes of restrained driving when Anuj had finally veered clear of the danger, and his destination seemed close, he picked up the speed, allowing his anxiety to grow on his senses. However as he turned the road, he was started to find a tree inclining right in front of him and quickly pulled at the brakes, but the bike skidded nonetheless as he rammed his side into the mound of mud and cursed. Letting go of the bike, he ducked under the tree and climbing over a nearby rock tried to scout the road ahead when his gaze flickered to his side and he noticed that the dip was not to steep and he could trek down it. It was risky since it involved navigating down the muddy hill but it was the shortest one too.

Sending a quick prayer to kanhaji then, Anuj jumped off the rock and carefully put his foot forward, grabbed the branch of a nearby plant and started ahead.

'Main aa gaya Anu. Besafe'.

10 minutes later, Anuj finally realized the flat surface under his foot and breathed in relief. The downpour had toned down to a drizzle by now, and the adrenaline of navigating risky slope on foot had taken away his nerves too. He felt positive. Almost hopeful, as he picked up his pace and jogged ahead.

"She had to be in the vicinity", As Anuj rounded the alley into the main market, his hopeful smile disappeared on seeing the area inchaos. NDRF personnel were littered all over the place moving people and aiding the injured. His steps carried him forward slowly as he scanned the area in her search. He saw various media persons reporting the situation while police officers patrolled the area trying to calm the civilians, looking for their families.

His breathing went haggard as he saw someone being put into the ambulance, a woman bawling as the face was covered with white. Anuj stolehis gaze instantly, as he increased his pace.

"Anu!!!" He shouted trying to differentiate people in themayhem.

"Anuuu!!" He spotted a man holding his bloodied head as disaster management personnel helped him. Anuj clutched his chest tightly.

"Anuuu!!!" He looked in every direction, looking away when he spotted stone debris of a half shattered building.

"....?!!" Suddenly he froze, as something struck his sidevision and whipping his head, he dashed towards the debris.

"A-Anu?" Anuj dropped on his knees as he saw a saree draped silhouette buried under the rubble.

NO!

Expanding his arms, Anuj wrapped them around the big rock that was covering the face of the body.

NO!!

Nerves surfacing along his neck, Anuj tried to lift the rock but it was mighty heavy.

He continued to exert force but in vain.

"Please move back!" A constable shouted from behind but he paid no heed.

"Excuse me! Sir!!" The constable was pulling at Anuj's arms now but he shrugged it off, his entire concentration on the rock.

"No..this is not my Anu. I-I will prove it right now!"

"Pull him back please. He will get hurt!" 3 personnel stepped forward while the policeman wrapped his arm around Anuj's neck and pulled him away by force.

Anuj thrashed in his hold like a rabid dog, his expression one of madness as he shouted, "It's not Anu. It's not her. It's not her!"

As the team managed to roll over the rock, everyone was forced to turn their faces away as the face of the victim had been crushed.Anuj felt his stomach lurch while he shook his head in negative, his face a teary mess by now. It's not her! It's not! It can't be!

"There is a purse here!" Picking up the purse, another policeman opened it and took out the voter-ID. "It belongs to a Anupama, from Ahmedabad".

And the earth slipped from under Anuj's feet as all fight left his body and he fell limp in the officer's hold. Grasping the gravity of tragedy, the constable gently pulled back while Anuj swayed on his feet a bit before he took a shaky step forward and slowly reached for the outstretched purse.

His lips trembled, as he saw her photo on voter ID and afresh stream of tears rolled down his eyes. His vision blurred but he just kept on shaking his head.

"Send for the MT's to pick up the body", Dishing out orders as the officials pulled back, Anuj's legs gave away as he fell on the hard surface, his fingers clutching the ID tightly.

"It's not...you, r-right?" He forced a smile, inching forward to take a closer look. The upper half was disfigured enough that Anuj had to close his eyes, his heart ripping to shreds.

"Nhi...meri Anu..." Anuj mumbled blankly, shaking his head in denial.

He recollected how she had pleaded him to stay put with Mukku.

"Ye Anu nhi hai! Meri Anu nhi hai...no..."

The sky opened up again as Anuj stared ahead, feeling the chill seep into his bones. No, there was no feeling.

He recalled the childish glee that graced her face as she admired the far off snow-capped mountains.

Tear after tear trickled down his eyes as he looked down at the ID. When was the last time he had made her laugh?!

Tabhi toh main aapse itna py..' That flush. That shy smile. Was it gone?

Toh main nahi jaungi' Surprise coloring her red. Would he never see that again?

Bacche hain kya aap' That exasperation, that haq.

Koi baat nahin' That small smile.

"Nhi! NO! NO!" Anuj clamped his ears shut trying to ignore those voices, her voices.

Sorry boliye!

Aap mujhe chodkar kahin nahi jaenge!

Main Anuj ke khilaaf kuch nahi sunoongi!

Every moment spent with her was reversing in his head. As if it was disappearing.

...bahot khil khilkar pakenge. Nhi samajh aaya na?

Eyes flying open, Anuj watched as she pulled her leg back from the slipper, walked backward and disappeared.

It hit him like a truck then. She...She was gone.

It felt like his heart was gauged out, and then smashed to pieces. His soul was ripped out of his body in this moment.

The MT's came by soon and hoisting the body on the stretcher started to take it away. Scrambling to stand up, he clutched the folds of saree in his fingers but in the process of getting up, Anuj tripped on his feet and fell on his knees, as the saree slipped from his hands.

"A..anu.." her name a confused whisper on his lips, Anuj followed their retreating form with his eyes but instantly felt his legs giveaway as he fell yet again, and this time, in the torrent of rain and mayhem around, his eyes lost track of her.

"Meri Anu! Anu! Anu! ANU!!!!" Anuj roared loudly and broke down. "Mera pyaar...Anu...mera pyaar..adhoora reh gaya! A-Anuuu..." Bending over on the ground, he smashed his fist against the rubble over and over, and over.

********

He stared at the ground blankly. He had lost track of time.He couldn't care less. He had been escorted, no, forcefully dragged into the relief camp. Was this real? A sick dream!A nightmare!

He could not get over the disbelief. What was he supposed to do now?

"Should I die?" Anuj mumbled lost, but was instantly reminded of his sister.

"Mukku asked me to come back, but with her. She is..is gone now", Tears pricked his eyes yet again and Anuj let them flow.

Should he even go back? What will he say to Mukku? And how will he live without Anupama? How?!

The floodgates opened once again, and hiding his face in his hands, he cried, he cried hard biting on his lips enough to bring out blood.Fingers clutching his hair, he cursed himself. It was because of him. Why did he play around like that?

He should have understood her heart. He should have cajoled her sooner. Then perhaps she would be...

He bit back on the sobs that wracked his body and his shoulders shook.

"Anu....Anu....Anuu..."

.

.

.

"Anuj....?!"