"That's nice of you to say," Haku said with a small smile on his face. At this point, Sasuke was feeling his heart split in two.

'I thought a boy was pretty. I fell for it,' Sasuke thought as he looked up at Garou, who was trying to stop giggling, "What are you laughing at?"

"N-Nothing, hehehehe," Garou covered his mouth, but Sasuke still saw the smile that he was hiding

"Stop laughing!" Sasuke started to beat on Garou's chest, but it only made Garou laugh harder.

While this little 'scuffle' was happening, Zabuza seemed to look over from his meal and was inspecting the group Haku was talking to.

He looked over Sasuke, who looked like the weakest out of the group. But he had a fire that Zabuza was sure enough to allow him to push forward. Then he looked at Naruto, who make him smirk. He looked like a one-horned demon, an Oni.

'Demon...' Zabuza thought. The single word rang in his head as he continued to watch the boys' interactions with Haku. But then he looked at Garou. At first, he thought nothing of him. But then he looked closer and tensed every muscle in his body.

In all his years as a shinobi, he's only ever felt this presence from a select group of people. The ones who hold the rank of Kage. But it was much darker. Much more evil. He detected a hint of it coming from Naruto, but Garou was seeping with this feeling. The feeling of death.

It took a few minutes before Zabuza shook his head and thought to himself, 'Best not to make any moves against him.' he told himself, eating away at his food.

Itachi was walking through the empty streets of the Uchiha Clan Hold. There were some old blood stains scattered randomly on the walls, he frowned as he pulled out a rag and started cleaning some of the stains, "It appears that some shinobi aren't able to remove blood stains correctly," Itachi said as he saw a shadow loom over him in the moonlight.

"It seems Konoha has gotten sloppy since your departure. I wouldn't blame them, since you almost killed your entire clan," a voice said behind him. Itachi turned his head to look at the giant man looming over him. He had a toothy grin with shark-like teeth. Small, round, white eyes, 3 sets of curved facial markings under his eyes.

"Yes, I suppose it is understandable, Kisame," Itachi replied, putting his rag back in his pocket and walking to the Clan Head household. Kisame followed behind him, looking around with that faint grin on his face.

They soon reached the front door, which was covered in 'DO NOT CROSS' tape. Ducking under the said tape, they looked at what was considered the main event of the kidnapping. Kisame looked down at the floor to see the assortment of kunai while Itachi looked at the hole in the wall.

Itachi looked inside the hole to see another hidden kunai and a small bundle of senbon, "In all my years of living here, I never knew that we had a hidden stache of kunai and senbon," Itachi whispered, walking into the living room.

"Hey, real quick. What are we doing here?" Kisame asked, leaning against the doorway to the living room where he watch Itachi pick up the blanket on the recliner, "As much as I want to grab the nine-tail brats, we're supposed to grab them in order. We haven't even gone and grabbed the one-tails. I feel like us being here isn't gonna accomplish anything,"

"We're here for a personal vendetta, Kisame," Itachi replied, folding the blanket in his hands and setting it back in the recliner.

"What? Are you second-guessing not killing your mother and brother?"

"No... quite the opposite," Itachi turned back to Kisame and walked past him, going up the stairs, taking a passing glance at the hole in the floor, "it looks like someone threw a toaster off the balcony,"

"That's oddly specific," Kisame commented, climbing up the stairs, "but I think we should be more concerned with this."

Kisame pointed at the floor. Itachi looked at where his partner was pointing and saw a set of footprints in the dust. Itachi raised an eye-brow as they both heard a vase wobble. Kisame instinctively grabbed the hilt of his sword as Itachi pulled out a kunai.

They both quietly shuffled their way to where they heard the noise and saw a door was cracked open. Itachi slowly opened the door to see a man dressed in a hooded cloak rummaging around the master bedroom. Itachi activated his Sharingan and tossed the kunai at him to get his attention. The hooded figure turned around and grabbed the kunai out of the air before he made eye contact with Itachi.

"Tsukuyomi!" Itachi said as the man suddenly fell to the ground. Deactivating his Sharingan, Itachi and Kisame walked into the room and turned the man over onto his back. His hood came off and revealed his face to be covered in a blank mask.

"ROOT," Itachi said, grabbing his kunai and stabbing the ROOT ANBU in the throat. Removing his kunai, Itachi pulled out a scroll, made a series of hand-signs, and the corpse disappeared in a small cloud of smoke.

"Um... ROOT?" Kisame asked, looking at his partner for answers.

"Danzo's especially made ANBU, hand-crafted for the sole purpose of fulfilling his needs. Be it assassination or suicide. They'll not argue and do anything," Itachi answered

"So they're the textbook definition of shinobi?"

"Complete with their own kill-switches and lack of emotions," Itachi finished, "but what's a ROOT agent doing here?"

"Don't look at me. I know nothing about all this. Besides, what's the personal vendetta you're after?" Kisame questioned. But Itachi stayed silent, walking out of the master bedroom to the room across the hall. "Hey! Don't ignore me! I hate secrets!"

"You wish to know the truth to why we're here?" Itachi asked, entering the room to see a bunch of clothes all scattered around the room. But Itachi ignored them and went for the clothes hamper, reaching in and pulling out a dirty sock, "I'm going to rescue what's left of my family,"

"With a dirty sock?" Kisame looked at Itachi with a 'are you serious?' look.

"Yes, I am... but we need one more thing," Itachi said, walking to the window and jumping out, Kisame quickly following him.

Itachi and Kisame appeared in a room with sake bottles all scattered about. Some crushed beer cans were stacked on top of a coffee table. But what got them was the sound of sobbing and snoring that came from the couch.

In front of them was Tsunade, sleeping in a drunken mess of weeping and snoring. She had a beer stain on her shirt and her eyes were puffy from crying.

"Holy hell, she looks pathetic," Kisame commented, pinching his nose, "what use to we have for this drunken hag?"

"Nothing, it's not her I'm after," Itachi slowly made his way through the ocean of sake bottles and beer cans to the main hall of the house. From there, he walked into a room full of pink. In the middle of the room was a crib with toys all around it. Walking up to the crib, Itachi looked down at the one sleeping in it.

"Um... I wasn't aware Tsunade had a kid," Kisame said

"Well... she treats her like a baby. But we better treat her right," Itachi said, reaching into the crib to pull out... a small pig, wearing a pearl collar and a dark red jacket. As Itachi picked her up, the pig stirred and woke up. Turning its head, it made eye contact with Itachi

"Hello, Tonton," Itachi whispered, "you'll be working for me for a while,"

"OINK! OINK!" Tonton squealed, struggling in Itachi's grip

"Shut that thing up!" Kisame said, covering his ears. Itachi sighed, his Sharingan flaring as he put Tonton in a genjutsu, causing her to fall asleep again. As Kisame was rubbing his ears, the lights suddenly came on and they turned around to see Tsunade standing in the doorway.

Kisame could smell the alcohol on her as she started cracking her knuckles.

"Put the pig back and I'll only break your balls, boys," Tsunade said with a drunken slur in his voice

"I'll take my chances, Lady Tsunade," Itachi said as he put Tonton under his cloak

"W-wait a minute... Itachi?" Tsunade said in amazement before the Uchiha threw a kunai at the window and jumped out. Kisame quickly followed behind him as they started jumping from roof to roof.

"HEY! WHERE DO YOU ASSHOLES THINK YOU'RE GOING?!" Tsunade shouted, punching a giant hole in her wall and jumping out after them.

Tsunade began chasing after Itachi, who was trying his best to hold the pig in his arms. Jumping across another roof-top, Itachi saw Kisame across the street on another building. With Tsunade catching up after him, Itachi sighed and pulled out Tonton, "KISAME! CATCH!" Itachi shouted, throwing the little pig across the street.

Kisame jumped through the air and caught Tonton, landing with a roll to make sure that it wasn't hurt. With the pig sleeping in his arms, he started running to the nearest exit.

"I'M GONNA KILL THE BOTH OF YOU!" Tsunade screamed, chasing after Kisame and ignoring Itachi, who started to push more chakra into his legs to go faster.

Kisames' breathing started to go heavy as he turned his head to see a pissed-off Tsunade destroying roof-tops with each jump she took to catch up with him. Upon seeing this, he started to go faster out of fear of getting his balls busted.

As Kisame started jumping farther and faster, he saw the Western gate in his view. Smiling at the sight, he turned around to see Tsunade cocking back her fist and throwing a punch at him. His eyes widened as he cocked back his own arm and shouted: "ITACHI! GO LONG!!" and chucked Tonton in his direction.

Seeing the sleeping pig flying through the sky, Itachi pushed enough chakra to let him gain a 14-foot vertical and caught Tonton out of the air, landing safely on the ground. Meanwhile, Kisame pulled out his sword and used it to block the punch Tsunade was sending at him.

The punch collided with his giant sword, Samehada, and was sent flying through the air and out of the Western gate, crashing through a bunch of trees and waking up the guards.

Kotetsu and Izumo came running out the gate with their Conch Shell Mace and Kunai Blade respectively.

"What the hell was that?!" Kotetsu shouted, looking around to see what was happening.

"Hey, isn't that Lady Tsunade?" Izumo asked, pointing at the said woman who jumped off a building and crashed into the ground.

"She looks pissed," Kotetsu commented as he saw Itachi running at them, "Hey, ain't that Itachi?"

"I think it is... wait, ITACHI?!" Izumo shouted as he started going through hand signs, "Water Style: Syrup Trap!" Izumo said, spewing syrup out of his mouth and in the path of Itachi.

As Itachi was about to step into the syrup trap, Itachi threw Tonton out of the gate.

"CATCH THAT PIG!" Tsunade shouted, making Kotetsu and Izumo lookup. Cupping his hands together, Izumo helped Kotetsu jump into the air and catch Tonton, landing back safely on the ground.

Pretty soon, Tsunade was behind Itachi and threw an earth-shattering punch, sending him flying through the air with blood spewing all over the place. After she saw Itachi's body tumbled across the ground, she raced to Kotetsu and Izumo, quickly snatching Tonton out of Kotetsu's arms.

"My baby! My sweet little baby!" Tsunade said, rocking her pig in her arms

"Uhh... what?" Izumo questioned as he saw Tsunade doing this

"Hey, I hate to ruin the moment, but do you hear a hissing sound?" Kotetsu asked when they heard a whistle.

They all looked outside the gate to see Itachi was perfectly fine with Kisame standing behind him. Kisame holding Tonton in his arms. Kotetsu, Izumo, and Tsunade all raised an eyebrow as they saw that the thing in Tsunade's arms was a pink pig plush. Turning it around, Tsunade saw that there was an explosive tag that was almost about to explode.

"Kami fucking damn-it," Kotetsu said as the tag exploded.

Itachi was running across the trees with Tonton in his arms. Kisame was still trying to figure out what Itachi was going to do when they suddenly stopped in the middle of a bunch of broken trees, the scene of a battle.

"Alright, you have a pig and a sock. What now?" Kisame asked

"Pigs have a stronger sense of smell than dogs. You tell me what I'm gonna do?" Itachi replied, getting ready to have Tonton start searching.