Tears burnt in the back of her throat when Sky walked into the school.

It was happening all over again. She gripped the straps of her backpack with a white knuckle grip, keeping her chin up, but it did no good. She heard the snickering, she saw the looks girls gave her - like she had a contagious disease that could spread to them if they allowed her near. And guys - well, she didn't have to be a Genius to know what they thought about her.

They thought she was disgusting. But apparently, they all still wanted to fuck her - the slut who was so shit-faced she couldn't even stand.

That shouldn't surprise her. Guys, they were all the same. They were all just like Matt–

Sky pushed that thought off before the screaming in her mind could start, sucked in a trembling breath, and walked past another group of guys who laughed and made rude comments as she passed them.

She held her chin high, flipped her hair over one shoulder, and pretended not to care. She was wearing an armor - black jeans and a black T-shirt with a Metallica logo on the front. The shirt was Kat's. Sky had found it in the box she had carried down from the attic with Aisha, the box that held all her memories of Kat. Now the statuette of David was back on her desk, a picture of her and Kat on her nightstand, and Kat's T-shirts in her closet. They didn't have her scent anymore - Sky had pressed her face in the soft fabric and inhaled as deep as she could to catch even a fragment of it, but it was gone, all that was left was the dusty smell of the attic, and she had had to wash the shirts before being able to wear them.

Still, they felt like Kat. And wearing her shirt, made Sky absorb some of her strength.

"Sky, wait–" someone called, a low, raspy voice, as she was walking to the hallway where the lockers were.

She didn't stop, just kept walking, until she found her locker and started unlocking it. Hawk didn't give up, he followed her and leaned on the lockers next to hers, giving her a small nod as a greeting.

"Hi," he said - his throaty voice sending shivers through Sky's spine. "I... I like your new style."

Sky glanced at him. He was wearing sweats and a hoodie, all black and red just like his hair and he looked sharp, rough, badass. Her heart thumped painfully in her chest at the sight of him, her mouth remembered the taste of his kisses.

"What do you want?" she asked. She put some things in the locker - her hoodie, some textbooks - and closed the door.

"To talk?"

"Nothing to talk about."

"Sky, the video–"

"Which one?" she turned to face him now, challenging his stare, gripping the straps of her backpack with a white knuckle grip.

Hawk's eyes widened, his throat bobbed. He had such a long neck, and the showiest swallow - his chin jutted out, his Adam's apple bounced. Sky could have looked at him swallow all day long, she would have kissed his throat right there, to feel the movement of muscle and tendon under the skin, the vibrations of his voice when he groaned.

She dragged her glance off his throat, started walking again. He followed.

"The one about you and me–" he said, trying to keep his voice low.

"There is no you and me."

"Sky–"

"No!" she didn't even turn to look at him, just kept walking with fast, hurrying steps. "Just, don't! I was drunk. I didn't even realize some people saw us! You... you should have known better!"

Hawk's long strides easily kept him by her side, no matter how fast Sky tried to walk. She couldn't bear his presence, his scent of steel and cotton, his warmth in the air close to her. The tone of his voice was too familiar, too dear to her, it would lure her into a trap and she would be stuck in his web again, and she would end up hurting, bleeding, dying on the cold, tiled floor.

"I thought you wanted it too," he rasped.

"I didn't," she spat the lie to his face. "Leave me alone!"

He did.

He stopped walking, and Sky didn't look back, she didn't see how he stuffed his hands into the pockets of his black and red hoodie in an angry motion, how he swallowed down his hurt. Anger and pride masked his face again.

But that short talk had managed to break Sky, to destroy every inch of the control she'd had over her emotions. She had barely slept the night before - replaying the stupid video in her mind over and over again. It was no more than 10 or 15 seconds, but it showed her totally shit-faced, so fucking drunk and clueless it was clear she couldn't even stand - and Hawk pushing her against the wall, kissing her neck, his fingers gripping her ass, his hips rolling against her as if he was fucking her. Thank God she'd had clothes on - there was that at least. But still, the video revealed the truth, what she had already known in her heart, that she was a slut, she was a stupid, fucking idiot, she deserved to be treated like shit.

It had been posted on Insta by an anonymous account, and most of the comments had been anonymous too. Sky regretted reading them. They were branded in her soul with burning iron now.

that bitch is getting banged 😆

slut 🙄

what a whore 🤮 🤮 disgusting

wait - ain't that the girl who tried to kill herself?

suicide slut 🤣🤣🤣⚰️⚰️⚰️

that guy's getting lucky 🍆💦

it's the dude who wets his bed

lmao 😂😂😂

Sky rushed into the classroom, still shaken. Tears were burning at the back of her throat, and she wanted to scream, she wanted to slam her fist into the wall, she wanted to die. Instead, she sucked it all in, took a deep breath and glanced around to see if there were any free seats.

There was. One.

Jesus Christ, just my luck.

It was next to Demetri.

Sky let out a slow breath. They hadn't talked since the party, and Sky felt a tight knot clenching in her gut. If the comments about her on the video were horrible, so were the comments about Hawk - and he didn't deserve that kind of crap. No one deserved to be shamed for crying when watching Dobby die, or for wetting the bed.

With a sour look on her face, she walked to the table, pulled the chair, and took a seat.

"Hi," she said. "Okay if I sit here?"

He licked his lips in a nervous gesture. "Sure."

"What you did at the party was wrong." Sky said swiftly, before she could think about it twice. "What the fuck were you thinking?"

Demetri's brows furrowed. "What was I thinking? You made out with Eli!"

"It's Hawk. And I was fucking shit-faced. What's your excuse?"

"He poured a beer on my head!"

"Wait, what? When?" She hadn't known about that, but such a dick move did sound like something Hawk would do - sadly. It also kind of justified Demetri's retribution.

"When I tried to talk to him like he was a normal person and put our differences behind us." Demetri sighed and leaned his bony elbows on the table. "Thought I'd give it a shot. That's why Moon threw the party after all, but hey - it was a mistake. I should've known that Eli's beyond redemption."

"So you decided that if he goes low, you go lower?"

"It's not like I'm proud of what I did," Demetri muttered.

To that, at least, Sky could relate. "Yeah, me neither."

Kissing Hawk had been a monumentally bad idea. Though, she wasn't even that sure that she had kissed him - it was more likely that he had kissed her. She remembered his lips on hers, the feeling of his body pinning her against the wall - but that was pretty much it. This way or that - it had still been a huge mistake.

Letting out a long sigh, Sky leaned back in her chair and crossed her legs at the ankles. Her black jeans and black converse high tops made her think about Kat again. Oh, how she wished Kat was here, how she hoped she could sit with her, talk with her - Kat would tell her to stop moping about her ex, she would laugh off all the idiots who were shaming Sky, she would make even this day feel like sunshine, laughter, and adventure. But Kat was gone, the worn, softened fabric of her T-shirt was a poor surrogate for a hug and this day was fucking awful.

The homeroom teacher, Ms. Stablinski, started talking in front of the class and Sky looked up from her hands.

"Welcome to another year in West Valley High–" the teacher started, when Sky felt a tap on her shoulder. She turned to look behind her - there was some guy whose name she couldn't remember, passing her a note.

"Who sent this?" Sky whispered, taking the folded piece of paper from his fingers. The guy shrugged to indicate he didn't know.

Sky glanced around in the classroom. No one met her eyes, Ms. Stablinski kept talking.

She unfolded the note.

slut

Just that one word, inked in black pen on a piece of paper that was torn from a notebook.

Sky felt like she would be sick, the world was spinning. She kept staring at the word on the paper, her mind going blank. Someone was screaming in the back of her head, screaming, screaming, screaming–

She ripped the paper in two, then ripped it again and again until it was destroyed, then threw the pieces onto the floor. Her hands were shaking.

"What was that?" Demetri asked with a low voice, leaning closer.

"Nothing," Sky replied. Someone was snickering in the back row, but she didn't turn to look, she would not give them the satisfaction of seeing the hurt in her eyes.

"--this year is going to be so much fun!" Ms. Stablinski announced in front of the class, clapping her hands together in excitement. Sky felt like she could throw up.

"At least this day can't get a lot worse," she muttered to Demetri. "I'm at rock bottom already."

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