It's funny, the little things you notice when everything stops.

The coffee stain on the carpet next to the couch - it had the exact shape of the map of Greenland. The faded colors of the fake flowers on the table. The scent of disinfectant, medicine, and sick people that filled Hawk's nostrils with every inhale.

The clock on the wall was eating time, the hands moving too slowly, crawling as if there was no hurry. As if this wasn't the end of the world but just any other slow Tuesday afternoon.

But Hawk knew better. This was the fucking apocalypse and he had brought it on them.

They were sitting in the family waiting room. Mom by Hawk's side, Nicholas in a chair nearby. On the table next to the faded fake flowers was a pile of food and drinks mom had gotten from a vending machine - but none of them could even think about eating anything, so there they lay, untouched.

Hawk hated hospitals.

He had spent too much time in them when he'd been small. His cleft lip had required multiple surgeries to be fixed - if you could call it fixing, the hideous scar was little better than the actual cleft lip. The smell of the hospital always made him tense and agitated - in his memories, it was always combined with pain, with loneliness, with fear.

Just like now. The pain in his chest was like a burning dagger in the muscle of his heart, and he had never been this scared in his life, had never felt more alone.

"You should eat something," Mom said with a soft, silent voice, laying a comforting hand on his forearm. "It'll make you feel better."

Hawk shook his head. His stomach was clenched into a tight knot, there was no way he could force any food down without it coming right back up.

Mom let out a sigh and turned her attention to Nicholas. "Can I get you something? Maybe some coffee—?"

"No—" Nicholas breathed. "No, thank you Beth— I couldn't—"

His voice broke in the middle of the sentence, and he didn't continue. He returned to staring at the fake flowers on the table, his eyes seeing nothing. He looked ten years older than he had when Hawk had last seen him, and it made him feel awful.

At that moment the door opened and a doctor - a middle-aged woman in a white jacket - walked in. Nicholas stood up so fast that he almost knocked over the small coffee table.

"Is she—?"

"We have managed to stabilize her—" the doctor said. "Her life is not in any imminent danger at the moment."

"Jesus Christ—" Hawk groaned, the relief knocking the breath out of him.

Nicholas started crying hard, tears streaming down his face. "She's going to be okay?"

"Most likely. Of course, we don't know yet if there is any permanent damage—"

"Permanent damage?" Nicholas groaned. "What are you talking about?"

"Her oxygen levels were very low when she arrived at the hospital, and then there is the possibility of kidney problems, but it is too early to speculate. I would say it is unlikely there will be any long-term effects, but we cannot completely rule it out until she wakes up and we run some more tests."

"She's not awake?" Hawk asked, drawing the doctor's attention to himself.

"No, but it is a good thing right now. Her body needs to rest."

The words permanent damage were still sitting on Hawk's chest, squeezing the air out of his lungs. Whatever the doctor had meant by that, it couldn't be anything good. He looked at Nicholas and saw the same worry on his face.

The doctor seemed to notice that too.

"I am bringing you good news," she said, "Sky's prognosis is very good, but this was a big shock to her system, and it will take some time to heal properly. But it is a good thing you found her when you did - things could have ended badly."

"Can I—" Nicholas' voice broke, he had to clear his throat. "Can I see her now?"

The doctor gave him a nod. "Soon. The nurses are still cleaning her up, but I'll send someone to get you in a minute."

Hawk barely heard the end of that conversation, he didn't see the doctor walking out of the room. His vision was suddenly blurred with tears again, his breathing came in deep, shaky exhales.

She has to be okay—!

Jesus fucking Christ—

She has to be fine—

Mom wrapped her arms around him and pulled him into an embrace, and he let her. For a short moment, he fell into Mom's arms as if he was just a kid again and the scent of her lavender shampoo untangled the tightness in his chest.

"She will be okay—" Mom breathed, holding him tight. "You heard me, Eli? Sky is going to be okay. It's gonna be alright."

He couldn't even answer. Her prognosis is very good, the doctor had said, and he was clinging to every word. Sky would fucking live. She would live. This wouldn't be the end of the world after all, and miracles would happen, the darkness wouldn't prevail and the sun would shine again. The Earth had stopped crumbling under his feet, it would be solid again, it would hold for another day, a week, a lifetime.

Mom only let go of him when they noticed Nicholas taking a seat on the couch, on the other side of Hawk.

He looked like a man who had dodged a bullet, but who still couldn't believe it had really happened. His green eyes were red-rimmed and filled with tears, but they were wide and full of wonder and at that moment the resemblance between him and Sky was breathtakingly clear.

"Eli—" he breathed. "You saved her life. I... I can never thank you enough."

His words were a gunshot through Hawk's heart. All relief of Sky's survival left him in one, trembling breath, as he remembered why they were here in the first place.

He had never been more undeserving of praise than he was at that moment. He couldn't meet Nicholas' eyes, he had to look away, his glance escaping to the coffee stain on the carpet next to his feet.

"I didn't save her life—" he groaned. "I caused this."

A short silence followed his words.

"Why would you say that?" Mom asked, her hand still on her back.

"Because it's true." He swallowed. "It's my fault Sky did this."

"What— what do you mean?"

But Hawk didn't look at Mom. He forced his eyes off the coffee stain, forced himself to look at Nicholas, who had almost lost his only daughter because Hawk had been an idiot.

For weeks he had kept the secret of trashing Miyagi-Do, for weeks he had kept the memories to himself - the sweet taste of reckless rage and justified revenge. He had enjoyed destroying the dojo and he had worn the Medal of Honor in a chain around his neck with pride, because he had fucking earned it.

Now, all that felt meaningless.

Those memories were forever broken, they had lost every bit of joy and power they had held and now all he could think of were the consequences of his actions, the silence in Sky's room when they had burst through the door, the blue shade of her lips, the stench of vomit and fear and regret.

He never wanted to see the cursed medal again in his life.

And Nicholas deserved to know why his daughter had wanted to die.

"A couple of weeks ago I broke into Miyagi-Do. I stole Mr. Miyagi's Medal of honor." Hawk paused for a while, to clear his throat. "And— and when Sky asked if I knew who had done that, I lied."

"Oh, Honey—" Mom broke into tears.

"I fucking lied. And she found out. Sky found the medal in my room today."

It felt like a million years ago now. They had had sex, She had called his name with a voice strangled by pleasure when she had come, three fucking times. It had been beautiful. She had been happy. And he had had everything he had ever wanted, right there in his grasp—

And then, she had wanted to borrow a T-shirt, while he was still in the shower, and—-

And that had been the end of it. That smirk she had flashed him when walking out of his bathroom had been the last trusting, happy smile he would ever get from her.

He clenched his jaw, sucked in the stupid tears that threatened to start running again.

"Eli—" that was Nicholas. He spoke very slowly, very clearly. "What Sky did was not your fault."

"How can you say that?" he groaned, his voice breaking.

"Listen to me—" Nicholas rested his elbows on his knees and leaned closer, looking Hawk straight in the eye. "People argue. People do stupid shit. People lie. I'm not saying it's okay, but... But normal people don't try to kill themselves if someone lies to them. You couldn't have known she would react this way."

There was a lump in Hawk's throat. He had to look down - it was always hard for him to look people in the eye, and extra hard now.

Nicholas' kindness was a sword through Hawk's sternum. He would have rather taken his anger, his rage, his hate - anything but this undeserved mercy.

He didn't say anything, kept his eyes on the stupid coffee stain. The lump in his throat threatened to choke him.

"It's not your fault." Nicholas repeated. "Sky's been wanting to die since... since what happened with Matt. I thought she was getting better, but..." the rest of his sentence drifted off.

"But I fucking ruined it," Hawk finished that sentence. "Cause she was getting better. She was happy. I mean, like real happy - before she found the stupid medal—"

"So it was that lie that pushed her off the edge this time," Nicholas said silently. "But it could have been any other thing. You can't blame yourself for what happened."

"Yeah, well - I still do."

"I don't. You saved her life. Had you not called me, she would be dead now."

"It's not—" he started, but at that moment the door opened and Miguel's Mom walked into the room.

Of course, she would be here. She fucking worked here. Still, the thought that Carmen could be here hadn't even crossed Hawk's mind, and seeing her made another wave of shame and guilt flush through his system.

She would think this was his fault - like every rational person would - and so would Miguel once he found out, and Aisha, and all their friends—

He swallowed hard but the lump in his throat wasn't going anywhere.

"Can we see her now?" Nicholas asked, his throat bobbing. He stood up in one, nervous motion.

"Yes," Carmen said, her voice warm and sympathetic. "I'll show you to her room."

Hawk looked up from his sneakers. "Can I— can I come too?"

"Of course," Carmen said. "if it's okay with Sky's dad—?"

Nicholas had stopped by the door, he turned to look at Hawk and their eyes met.

"You saved her life," Nicholas simply said and kept the door open for him.

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Sky lay on the bed, nasal cannula pumping oxygen to her system, an IV drip in both of her hands. A monitor by the bed was making steady, silent beeping sounds, the room was quiet, dark, peaceful.

Sky didn't look dead anymore. She was still pale and there were shadows under her eyes, but her skin was not bluish, the stench of vomit was gone and she was wearing a clean, light green hospital gown. She looked as if she was just sleeping, her face relaxed and soft just like that one night when she had asked Hawk to stay over and he had stayed awake long after she had fallen asleep, just watching her, love making his heart swell.

"Let her sleep," Carmen had said when leading them to the room. "She needs the rest."

So they did, no matter how much Hawk wanted to grab her and kiss her and call her name. They took chairs and sat by her bed, Nicholas holding Sky's other hand, Hawk the other one - gently, carefully not to cause her any distress.

They sat there throughout the night. The sun went down and it came up but Sky didn't open her eyes.

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❤️🙏🏻