Dead.

She's dead. And it's my fault.

That thought brought Hawk to his knees. It crushed his chest, it was a hole in the place of his heart, sucking out the life of him. He was going to be sick, his stomach turned—

"Call 911!" Nicholas' voice cut through Hawk's fogged senses. "Eli! Call 911! She's alive!"

"What—?"

"Call 911!"

Hawk wiped his face. Nicholas was still on his knees by the bed, but his fingers were on Sky's neck feeling the pulse—

She's alive!

That thought made Hawk burst into action. His hands were trembling as he pulled his phone from his pocket, he could barely manage dialing 911, the phone almost fell from his cold, numb fingers, but he managed and in no time someone picked up.

"911, What's your emergency?"

His voice came out raspy, broken. "My girlfriend— she's tried to kill herself. She's taken some pills—"

"Is she unconscious?"

"Yeah—"

"How old is she?"

"Sixteen—"

"And do you know what she's taken?"

"I'm— I'm not sure— wait—" Hawk got on his feet, glanced around and saw the empty pill bottles on Sky's desk. He told the names of the medicines, and then, knowing Sky, added: "And maybe something else too, I really don't know—"

"Alright, I'm sending an ambulance. And the address is?"

Hawk turned his eyes back to Sky's bluish, vomit-stained face as he told the address. Somehow he managed to reply to every question the person on the phone asked. His answers came out pretty coherent and straight, even if he sure as Hell wasn't feeling coherent at all. All he wanted to do was cry and scream and beg them to send help already, to fucking save Sky's life already. But he knew it wouldn't make the help reach them any faster. He knew the best way to help, was to try and stay as calm as possible—

But it was fucking impossible.

His heart was smashed into pieces and it was a struggle even to breathe. Somehow he managed through the phone call, and when the woman on the phone said the help was only minutes away and he could hang up now, he was so relieved he was trembling.

They carried Sky downstairs - or Nicholas did, with Hawk helping by keeping Napoleon out of the way and by grabbing the empty medicine bottles in case the paramedics wanted to see them.

The minutes they waited for help were the longest of Hawk's life.

The help was coming, Hawk kept telling himself, it was coming, it was close - but every minute felt like a year.

Nicholas had laid Sky on the living room couch. He had wiped her face with a wet towel, cleaned the vomit off her lips, off her hair, all the time murmuring loving, soothing words to her, calling her name with a broken voice, begging her to stay with him.

But Hawk sat on the floor, staring at his feet, fighting the urge to start screaming and smashing things.

He knew this was his fault. He knew he had no right to even be here.

If Nicholas realized this was his doing—

If Sky died—

He couldn't finish those thoughts. He couldn't keep his mind straight. The shock of seeing Sky lifeless on the bed had knocked all strength off him, and the relief over the fact that she wasn't dead - yet - had been a tsunami that had blown the breath off his lungs.

He couldn't think. He couldn't speak. He clasped the phone still in his cold fingers, as he swayed his tense, restless body back and forth, back and forth, listening to Nicholas' desperate voice calling Sky's name again, again, again.

Sky didn't react. Only the soft, silent gurgle of her strained breathing told Hawk she was still alive. Hawk dreaded to hear that sound, but even more, he dreaded that it would end.

After an eternity that had in real life been no more than 10 minutes, they heard the ambulance.

"Get the door," ordered Nicholas, his voice harsh and raspy. "Now!"

Hawk burst into action, rushed to the front door. When he saw the ambulance stopping in the front of the house, the paramedics running toward him, he guided them in and lead them into the living room, where Sky still lay on her side on the couch.

After that everything happened fast. The professionals took the lead, and in no time Sky was laid on a stretcher and carried out of the house. It should have been a relief - but somehow that sight made everything super real. Seeing Sky like that felt wrong in so many ways, it felt like the sun would never shine again, like the Earth would crumble to ashes.

"Are you the father?" One of the paramedics asked Nicholas, when they followed them out of the house.

Nicholas gave a shaky nod. "Yes, she's my daughter."

"You can ride with us."

The stretcher was pushed into the ambulance, the paramedics hopped in, and Nicholas followed swiftly - leaving Hawk standing on the pavement, and suddenly he realized that they were leaving, they were going without him.

It felt like a slap in the face.

"Hey—" he called, his voice breaking. "I— I wanna come with you!"

"Sorry, we can only take one person," said the paramedic who was placing an oxygen mask on Sky's face.

"Is she going to be okay—? At least tell me if she's gonna make it—!"

The paramedic was now inserting a drip into the back of Sky's hand and didn't reply to Hawk's question.

"Eli—" said Nicholas, turning to look at him. "Call your mom. Meet us in the hospital."

For a short moment, Hawk hesitated. He knew Sky wouldn't want him anywhere near him when she woke up - if she woke up. But he had to be there, he had to be there, there was no way he could stay behind.

He glanced at Sky, her red hair that was wet and sticky, her pale face, the blue shade of her lips under the oxygen mask, the shadows under her closed eyes. She looked so small, so broken and he loved her fiercely, more than he had loved anything in his life.

He had failed her before, but he wouldn't fail her now, not when it meant the most. He would stay by her side until he heard her telling him otherwise.

"Okay—" he managed. "I'll see you there."

But he didn't know if anyone heard him.

They closed the back doors and the ambulance drove away, sirens blaring. Hawk stared after it, his feet glued to the ground, his heart tied up in so many knots it was barely beating at all.

After a time that could have been minutes, hours, years, Hawk noticed he wasn't alone. Napoleon was circling his legs with restless steps and an arched back, trying to get his attention with loud, sharp meows.

Hawk let out a long, trembling sigh and picked up the small cat, pressed it against his chest, and started rubbing it behind the ears. Soon the cat relaxed against him and started purring.

"That scared you, huh?" Hawk murmured, burying his face into the cat's soft, fluffy hair. His warmth, his soft purring was slowly melting something inside of Hawk's chest, a cold lump of ice that had formed there during the past hours.

Napoleon replied by rubbing his chin against Hawk's shoulder and letting out a small meow.

"Yeah, I know," Hawk breathed. "Me too."

He freed one hand, keeping Napoleon against his chest with the other, and took his phone from the pocket of his sweats.

Mom picked up almost immediately.

"Hey, honey - where are you?" Mom's cheerful, warm voice was like from another universe. "Will you be home for dinner? You can ask if Sky wants to come too."

The tears started flowing again, they choked him and strangled his voice.

"Mom—" a ragged sob escaped his lips. "Mom, can you pick me up? Something— something bad happened."

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