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"So still no, huh?" Miguel asked, lying on his back on the floor while Hawk was slacking on his bed leaning his back on the wall, and Demetri - the only one of them, who was doing anything useful - was doing math homework by Hawk's desk.

Hawk gave an annoyed eye roll, but he didn't even have to ask what Miguel meant.

"No," he replied shortly, and threw a baseball in the air, catching it as it fell back down. His own math book lay forgotten on the bed beside him.

"Me neither," Miguel replied with a frustrated tone that all too well echoed Hawk's feelings.

"I don't get it," Miguel continued after a short silence. "Sam says she likes me, and we've been dating for a while already—"

Hawk made a snort. "Tell me about it."

He threw the ball in the air again, this time higher, catching it again as it fell back down.

"At least Sky has introduced you to her dad." Miguel commented. "Must mean she's serious about the two of you."

"I guess," Hawk replied. "Though her dad isn't my biggest fan."

Miguel made a small laugh. "Still beats the fact that Sam's dad doesn't even know that I exist."

"Would you stop whining about her dad?" Hawk stated, giving Miguel a sideways glance. "Who cares about him? You're not dating him, are you? Sam's clearly crazy about you - shouldn't that be enough?"

Miguel gave him a knowing look. "And Sky's crazy about you too. Is that enough?"

"Shut up," Hawk muttered, turning his attention back to the ball in his hands and started bouncing it in his restless fingers again.

"You are both idiots," Demetri commented, turning to look at them over his shoulder. "Both of you have a wonderful thing going on with a beautiful girl, and all you do is whine about not getting laid? That's just pathetic."

Suddenly annoyed, Hawk threw the ball at Demetri, not too hard, but Demetri managed to duck and the ball hit the wall instead with a loud 'thump'.

"What do you know—" Hawk snapped. "You haven't even kissed a girl in your life."

"It's not like I have given up. I am working on my long-term plan," Demetri replied, picking up the ball and tossing it back at Hawk. "Get good grades, graduate, go to a great university—"

"Yeah, yeah, I've heard that before." Hawk said. "And get laid maybe when you're in your thirties."

"Better late than never." Demetri said, clearly not discouraged at all. "Not all of us can shave half of our hair and join a dojo. I'm more of a long-term investor."

Hawk didn't bother to reply. His mind kept going in circles, nice round circles that started with Sky and ended with her.

They had been dating for weeks now.

He had taken her out to have tacos (this time without Star Trek and her dad, which was a huge improvement in his opinion), he had taken her to Golf N' Stuff which had been amazing and fun, they'd gone to the movies and to walks on the beach, and they'd had milkshakes together, and done every single thing Hawk could think about doing with a girl, except for taking her into his room and having her every way imaginable, because–

— well, because she had made it pretty clear that they weren't going to get intimate any time soon. And every time their kissing (and there had been a lot of that thank God) had been turning into something more, she had firmly put a hand on his chest, and cut it.

He never showed her how much that hurt. How much it made him feel like there was something wrong with him, for wanting her so much that it was impossible to think about anything else.

Hawk pushed that thought away, that annoying, nagging, shameful thought that threatened to turn into bitterness.

He was dating the girl of his dreams, he was 101% in love with her, and she seemed to feel the same way, even if she hadn't said it yet (though, neither had he). And just like Demetri had said, if that wasn't enough, then he was a fool.

They'd been going to Karate together every day too, and honestly, Hawk had liked that even more than going on dates. There was just something special in seeing how Sky was learning the moves, the kicks, and the punches with such natural ease, maneuvering through them with grace and precision. It made Hawk's chest fill with pride and love, unlike anything he'd experienced before.

He hadn't been asked to fight Sky again, not after that first time, which was a relief. He honestly didn't think he could've done that. He probably would have just stood there and let her beat the crap out of him with those sharp, powerful kicks of hers, without lifting a finger to defend himself in fear of hurting her again. But Sky was fighting Aisha, Miguel and some of the new recruits whose names Hawk wasn't going to bother to learn, and watching her do that always made something tighten in his core - a mix of admiration and nervousness, of wanting and fear.

But.

There still was the big 'but' that kept him awake at night, that turned him into a horny idiot who couldn't keep his shit together.

That they'd been dating for weeks and the longer they were together, the more he wanted her and the farther away he was of getting what he so desperately needed.

He was touching himself every day, thinking about Sky, thinking about her lips, her hands on his cock, the curve of her hip—

And it didn't help. If something, it was only making things worse.

He found his release, of course, his hand gripping his throbbing dick, as he came and shot his cum on the tiled wall of the shower, desperately trying to catch his breath as the burning water was raining on his neck and shoulders, dripping down his back.

But the release was always short-lived.

Almost as soon as his heartbeat calmed down, he was thinking about her again, wanting more—

It's my own fault that we're still not doing it. I fucked up.

And this was the price to pay, he knew - no matter that Sky had said this wasn't a punishment, but that she just needed to figure things out before jumping in the bed with him.

Which, of course, meant that she needed to figure out if she could trust him. If she could trust that he wasn't just a crazy sex maniac who wanted to fuck her and then ditch her or that he wasn't going to turn into some kind of a jealous bastard and take a shot at her and kill her best friend while at it.

That fucking asshole Matt had really ruined things for him.

If he could, he'd find that dude and make him pay for what he had done to Sky. Because Hawk now understood that Matt had broken her, in ways that might never be healed, and their lack of sex was probably the mildest of the consequences that had followed.

Still, it was eating at him. He couldn't help it.

He felt like a crazy sex maniac because it was near impossible to think about anything else—

Snap out of it already!

Annoyed at himself, he started playing with the baseball again, bouncing it against the opposite wall, catching it back with fierce, fast snaps of his hand.

"Would you stop that?" asked Demetri. "I'm trying to study here."

"No," Hawk replied. "After all, it's your fault I'm still not getting laid."

"Oh my God, still going on about that?" Demetri said and Hawk could practically see how he rolled his eyes, even if he sat with his back turned on him. "It's your own fault, you know. Sky was mad at you for a reason. Just behave and give it some time."

"Yeah, how much, though?" Hawk muttered, and continued bouncing the ball to the wall, even if he knew he was annoying the shit out of not only Demetri but Miguel too.

His mind slipped back into the circle, back into Sky.

He had thought it was bad, when he'd still be Eli, and he had believed he'd never had a girlfriend in his life, and that the closest he got to a woman would be wanking at some random porn on his laptop - but this, this real-life agony was worse.

And it wasn't just the whole new levels of sexual frustration he was experiencing - it was all the other stuff too.

He was in love with her, and he liked her not just because she was hot, but because she was smart and funny and sassy and bad-ass. And he had no intention of ever dumping her now that they were officially together because having Sky as his girlfriend was by far the best thing that had ever happened to him in his whole life.

But lately, he'd been worried about her, and the more he loved her, the more he worried.

She wasn't laughing as much, and she just seemed... so tired all the time. Like maybe she wasn't sleeping enough? There were dark circles under her eyes most mornings and often when he glanced at her so that she didn't know he was looking, he caught her staring into the nothingness with this haunted look on her face, and it made his stomach tie into knots.

He knew Sky was thinking about what had happened with that douchebag of her ex-boyfriend, and it just made him feel so helpless.

Like, that shit was bigger than what he had the power to fix. His violent fantasies about ripping Matt's spine out through his mouth weren't doing shit and there was absolutely nothing real he could do to help her, except—

Except to try and make her happy, he decided. To try and bring a smile on those pretty lips, any means necessary.

Having sex would definitely make us both happy, though. He thought his mind again at the beginning of that circle.

When she had asked if he would wait, he had agreed - of course. But now, as days turned into weeks he knew that weeks would turn into months, and what then? Years? Would he be jerking off in the shower forever?

Even Demetri was gonna lose his virginity before he was.

That thought was so depressing that it brought a bitter taste to his lips. He had said he'd wait as long as Sky needed, but Hell - years?

He would burst if it came to that.

It was all so fucking confusing. He just couldn't understand what had happened to Sky wanting him. He still remembered how she had wrapped her thighs around his hips and the way she had moaned when he'd rocked himself against her, the friction of their bodies making them both almost fucking lose it—

Her eyes had been so wide and dark, and she had said she had wanted him since the first time she had laid her eyes on him.

He wondered if she was touching herself too, if she was thinking about him when her back arched off the bed, as she dipped her fingers into—

Probably not.

Besides, I fucking have to stop thinking about this now!

"We should get going," he said, gripping the baseball with his suddenly trembling fingers. "Sensei's gonna kick our ass if we're late."

"Yeah," Miguel agreed and sat up with a grunt. "He's really pushing us now that the tournament is getting closer. That junkyard was crazy! I wonder what he has in store for us today."

Hawk snorted. "Hopefully not more rabid dogs."

The thought of that workout finally drew Hawk's mind off the endless circle of Sky and sex. He turned to face Miguel, new excitement lighting up his face. "We're gonna kick ass in that tournament. You've got what it takes to win the whole fucking thing."

"So do you, bro," Miguel said.

"Nah, you've been training a lot longer than me–"

"I'm serious," Miguel replied, meeting his eyes. "You're really good."

Hawk let that sink in. Miguel wasn't one to say compliments he didn't mean, so it must be true. But to win the tournament...?

That would be fucking awesome.

And that would definitely make Sky look at him in a new light. And then, maybe–

Not maybe - definitely.

"Hawk! Are you coming or not?" Miguel said, and Hawk snapped out of his thoughts. He looked up, just to notice that his friends were already at the door, even Demetri who had packed his books and papers into his backpack.

"Sure–" Hawk jumped off the bed, and grabbed his gym bag. "Let's go kick some ass."

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