《Before I Forget - Eli Moskowitz -》Be an Alpha!
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Two times they had made out now, and two times she had run away from him.
That thought had a bitter taste, and Hawk ran his tongue over his teeth, trying to repel it.
What did I do wrong? Why did she fucking leave?
"Strike!"
Hawk punched the air with all his might, pulled his fists back into the starting position with one, swift move.
He had tried calling Sky after school, but she hadn't picked up. Nor had she replied to the texts he had sent her.
She's fucking ghosting me. After what happened today—
Was I so bad at it? I thought she liked it...
"Strike!"
The same movement pattern again, an attack - a retreat. Sensei Lawrence's sharp commands echoed in the dojo, Hawk's body obeyed, this new body of his that was getting stronger, faster every day.
But he was hardly listening to his sensei, and his mind was elsewhere. It was in that kiss, in Sky's lips, in the way she had ran out of the door and left him standing there alone in that empty room like an idiot with a hard-on of the fucking century in his pants.
Two times.
Two times I've kissed her and two times she's run away from me without looking back—
"Hawk!"
He flinched, looked up. Sensei Lawrence was standing right in front of him, and by the looks of it, he'd been standing there for some time now.
"Take your head off the dumpster, Hawk! Didn't you hear anything I said?"
He blinked, lowered his fists, red spots of embarrassment spreading on his cheekbones.
"No, Sensei. I'm sorry, Sensei—"
"Don't be sorry, be here!" Sensei Lawrence snapped to his face. "I've said this before, to all of you - if you aren't focused, you should leave."
Hawk lowered his gaze to the floor and nodded. Annoyed and angry at himself he clenches his fists on his sides - Sensei Lawrence had been the only one who had believed he could do this, that he should be here, that he could hatch from the shell that had been called Eli, and be reborn as Hawk.
"I'll do better, Sensei."
"Good! That's what I expect of you, Hawk! Your very best, every time you step a foot on this dojo. That's the only way to become a Cobra! Now, do forward strike, and do it like you mean it this time!"
"Yes, Sensei!"
And Hawk did as he was told, forcing away the memory of Sky, replacing it with the faces of his bullies - that always worked - imagining the smug, stupid faces of Kyler and Brucks in front of him. He fed into the violent dreams that had once been only dreams but now felt like something more, like a reality. He punched the air in front of him, struck hard, imagining his fist met with skin, flesh, breaking bone. Imagining blood on his knuckles.
This time he struck without hesitation, he was sharp and focused like the hawk he was.
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But after the lesson, his mind began to wander again. He had briefly checked his phone before the cool down, and still there was no reply from Sky to his earlier message asking if she wanted to meet after karate.
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They were on the mat, stretching - him, Aisha and Miguel, and Miguel was going on and on about some stupid octopus toy and Sam - both subjects that didn't interest Hawk in the least. He had stopped listening a while ago, and started obsessing about Sky again, when he realized that Aisha had been trying to get his attention, probably for some time now.
"Sorry, what?" he asked, and turned to look at Aisha.
"What's with you today?" Aisha asked, arching her brows. "You're not listening to me at all. And Sensei almost kicked you out—"
"It's nothing," Hawk replied, gripping his foot with both hands. The back of his thigh ached and burnt as it was stretched, but he breathed through the pain, leaning lower over his leg.
"It's Sky," Miguel said. "She kissed Hawk in school today."
"Hey—!" Hawk started, but Aisha interrupted him.
"She did?" Aisha asked with a grin. "For real?"
Hawk furrowed his brows, annoyed. Over lunch, he had told Miguel and Demetri about the kiss (and about the other stuff that had happened in that empty classroom too). It had felt like a good idea back then, considering Demetri's former disbelief that Sky would actually want to kiss him, but now he wasn't so sure.
He had no fucking idea what it was that was going on between him and Sky, and talking about it just felt... awkward.
"Why'd you tell her?" He turned his eyes to Miguel. "It's none of her business, nor yours."
"Come on, we're friends." Aisha said. "So - why are you so gloomy about Sky kissing you? I thought that was what you wanted."
"I did. I do—" Hawk gave an annoyed sigh. "I just... don't understand her, like at all."
"What do you mean?" Miguel asked.
"It's just that—"
A shadow fell over Hawk's face, and he stopped talking mid-sentence.
"Hey, what's all this chit chat about? You're supposed to be stretching, not gossiping like old ladies." Sensei Lawrence said, and they all looked up. Hawk let go of his foot and straightened his back.
"Sorry, Sensei—" He began, but Miguel interrupted him.
"We are stretching, Sensei—" he said, making Hawk grab his foot again. "It's just that Hawk here has some girl problems—"
"Miguel—!" Hawk tried, but too late.
"Oh, you do?" Sensei Lawrence asked, his lips turning into a smile. "So, spit it out. What's the problem?"
Hawk shot an annoyed glance at Miguel, but he simply shrugged, looking rather smug. "It's okay. Sensei helped me out too, he gave me some great advice."
Advice that had helped Miguel with Sam, Hawk knew. They were supposedly dating now, which meant that Miguel had a girlfriend. A girl who was kissing him, regularly.
Which was something Hawk didn't have.
He cleared his throat that was suddenly hoarse and thick. He really needed to learn how to stop thinking about kissing Sky all the fucking time.
"I..." Hawk hesitated. "There's this girl—"
Sensei Lawrence's smile grew wider. "Is she a babe?"
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"She's... pretty."
"Oh, come on - no wonder you're having trouble." Lawrence rolled his eyes. "That's not what I asked! Is she a babe or not?"
"She's a babe." Miguel answered, before Hawk could get the words out of his mouth.
Sensei Lawrence let out a laugh.
"And you're a badass, Hawk." he said. "So what's the problem?"
"The problem is that we..." he had to clear his throat again. "... we kissed, and—"
"That doesn't sound like a problem to me." Sensei Lawrence smirked, making both Miguel and Aisha laugh, which briefly annoyed Hawk.
"The kissing isn't the problem." He replied sharply.
"Then what is?"
"I just... don't understand. Her. Like, at all.." Hawk finally managed to get the words out of his mouth. "It's like one moment she's all into me, and the next moment she's pushing me away. I don't know if she even likes me."
"Nah, that's just typical girl shit." Sensei replied. "Giving you mixed signals to make you confused. Chicks do that all the time."
"Hey," said Aisha. "Not all girls do that."
"Hot babes do," Sensei smirked.
"Whatever," Aisha rolled her eyes and started stretching again.
"Just be confident." Sensei turned to look at Hawk again, and gave him an encouraging nod. "Ask that girl out, don't take a no for an answer. Be an alpha!"
Hawk looked up, let go of his foot.
"Take her out?" He asked. "Like, where? To do what?"
He had never asked a girl out, and he had absolutely no idea what he was supposed to do on a date - except for kissing, which was pretty much all he wanted to do, but he suspected that there had to be something else first, something that would lead into the kissing part.
Maybe that's the problem. Maybe Sky wants to go on a date, do something... romantic? And not just make out in an empty classroom—
"I don't know, it doesn't matter what you do. Take her to dinner or to movies, whatever. What matters is that you act like a winner. If you quiver like that in front of her, she's not gonna look at you twice." Sensei Lawrence said, pointing a finger at him.
Of course he's right. But—
But Sky kissed me when I was still... Eli. She liked me when I wasn't badass at all.
Hawk pushed that thought away, like he tried to push away all the memories of the embarassing time he had been Eli. The first kiss in front of the school had been a pity kiss, nothing else, and he didn't want any more kisses out of pity. The second kiss in his bedroom - well, maybe Sky had seen something in him already, maybe she had seen him as Hawk before he had been able to see it himself.
And the kiss today—
Fuck!
That kiss had been fucking amazing. Hawk felt like he was about to light up and burn when he remembered how Sky's fingers had felt on his cock, gripping him hard. And her bare skin under his palms, her shallow breathing, the slick insides of her mouth—
He had almost lost it, he had been so fucking close to coming into his pants like a fucking loser.
Next time I'll be prepared. And I'm not gonna come into my fucking pants. I'm gonna come all over her, or inside of her, or—
Images of all the ways he wanted to do that swarmed his mind instantly, and his pulse skyrocketed.
Fuck - don't think about that, not now, not here—
"So, is the problem solved?" Sensei Lawrence asked, raising a brow.
"Problem solved." Hawk managed an answer, his cheeks heating. "Ask her out, be an alfa."
"Right. Call that chick, tonight. And be a man - don't take a no for an answer. I don't want to see you this unfocused in my dojo again. Do you hear me, Hawk?"
"I hear you, Sensei." He replied. "Thank you."
Sensei Lawrence gave him something that was probably supposed to be an encouraging smile, and a thumbs up, but Hawk still felt conflicted.
To take Sky out on a date... how was he going to do that if she didn't even pick up her phone?
"Aisha—" he said, sitting up and pulling his knees against his chest. "You're a girl—"
"Well spotted, Genius." Aisha rolled her eyes at him. "Doesn't mean I'd know what Sky likes. I barely know her at all."
Hawk let out a frustrated sigh.
"Miguel—"
"Don't look at me." Miguel spread his arms. "I took Sam to Golf n'stuff and that was great, but I don't know Sky either. Maybe you need to ask her."
"I would," Hawk muttered. "If she bothered to pick up her fucking phone—"
A sharp sound of the bell interrupted his sentence, the door of the dojo opened and someone walked in.
Hawk's throat bobbed as he turned to look, his heart made a desperate leap against his sternum.
Shit—!
A girl walked in, holding a gym bag on one shoulder. Her red hair was braided on one, thick braid that fell on her back. She was wearing skin tight, black pants that revealed the shape of her slender legs, and an oversized T-shirt that said 'normal people frighten me' and she was so fucking pretty that it hit Hawk in the gut like a wrecking ball.
She came. She fucking came here—!
"Sorry," Sensei Lawrence said. "Today's lesson is over. Besides, we are full. No more new students—"
"Sensei—" Hawk jumped to his feet, sure that the burning of his cheeks would betray his emotion. "Sensei, this is Sky. I.. I mean, can we, maybe, make room for one more student?"
Sensei Lawrence glanced at the girl, then at Hawk and his brows arched. "Oh," he said with a knowing look and a slow grin. "Your friend, is she?"
"Yeah," he said and fought the blushing of his cheeks with all his might. "You could say so."
"Alright," Sensei Lawrence replied and turned to face Sky again. "Step in, Ginger. And take off your shoes."
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