🤍

~

Happiness is something I've only had for a couple of moments in my life. All of those moments have the love of my life, Sebastian Di Salvo, in them. They are moments I'll treasure forever but ones that are too hard for me to think about.

Two years after my 'death', I flew back home for the first time once I heard the news he was engaged to Isabella, his best friend. Also the bitch that contributed to my demise. I refused to believe it was true until I saw them together. Hand in hand, just like a normal loved-up couple. The only problem was that they were together in front of my supposed grave.

After that day, I realised there was no 'us' anymore. We had no chance. We never did.

I told myself that if he can move on and forget everything between us, I can too. But it's been four years since I last saw him and I can't get him out of my head and I wish I could. I stopped reading the tabloids about him and distanced myself from everything related to my past, except for Valentina, my childhood best friend. I couldn't forget about her especially after everything she's done for me.

She lived with me in the UK for the first two maybe three years of her babies lives. Two years after everything had happened, she returned with me (when I went to stalk Sebastian) back home, only for her children, Dante and Sophia. Vincenzo finally decided he was ready to be in their lives.

I guess he finally got his head straight and got bored of the countless girls and parties.

My phone beside me buzzed, pulling me out of my thoughts. Valentina had messaged me. Since we haven't visited in each other in years, we haven't spoke face to face. She didn't want to expose me to the mafia world again so that meant no visits just in case she gets followed. But we text and call all the time. Vincenzo probably thinks she has a lover somewhere in the world. As far as I know, she never told him where she lived and that I'm alive.

I had enemies back home before I 'died'. They were Santiago's (my crazy ex's) family. I never knew they were after me because Matteo had kidnapped me.

Damn, recounting all of this just makes me realise how crazy my life was.

Anyway, Matteo kept that quiet unless he had no idea himself. Now, I think Matteo is dead but I can't be sure. I didn't see his dead body drop to the ground. But I like to think he's dead. It gives me some form of peace.

I glanced at my phone. It was a picture of the twins standing besides Vin. A small smile grew on my face as I stared at it. Vin looks genuinely happy as do the twins. A perfect little family.

I quickly sent her a reply before turning back to Jordan, my friend. He's been by my side since I arrived here. It kills me every day not being able to tell him who I really am because we've gotten really close and it's all based off lies, at least on my side. "Christmas is coming up," he randomly said as he stared long and hard at his phone.

"You're going to America then, aren't you?," I asked wanting confirmation. He nodded his head as expected. His family moved from here, the UK, to America, claiming they wanted a clean slate in a whole new place. I understand why because I did the exact same thing.

"And you're coming with me. I've already booked your ticket so don't even argue with me on this."

"You shouldn't have. Christmas is about family. I'm not gatecrashing yours."

"You won't be gatecrashing. You know my family love you. You can always go back home and make it up to them, Elena." I rolled my eyes at that.

Me? Make it up to them? I did nothing wrong but he doesn't know that.

"I won't argue with you on this. I'll come with you. Might even celebrate with your family."

I probably will end up celebrating with his family.

I might have forgotten to mention that my name is no longer Liliana Romano. It's Elena Rose. Don't judge the name please. Vampire Diaries actually inspired me for the first name since all the other names I thought of just didn't suit me. Plus, I'm rarely ever called Elena. Jordan mostly calls me Rose, Lena or El.

I knew there was no use arguing with him. The same thing happened last year and he forced me onto the plane, claiming he paid for my ticket and didn't want it to go to waste. I love the fact that he refuses to leave me alone on Christmas.

I got up from the couch and pulled him up. We better go shopping then.

~

We walked past shops after shops and with each shop we passed, Jordan stood staring at his reflection in the window as he ran his fingers through his hair. The amount of times I had to pull him along was unbelievable. I hate shopping any longer than I need to and he knows that. "Stop doing it on purpose," I snapped him. "Every time we go shopping, you always do this." He just gave me a sheepish smile, knowing how right I was on the fact that he's just doing this to annoy me.

Jordan was handsome and I don't think he knows it. Whenever someone is interested in him, he always asks me if I think they're with him for him or for his money because he finds it hard to believe that someone is interested in him for his personality.

Men like him are rare.

He's understanding and in touch with his emotions. He's also handsome and he has an amazing personality. Whoever ends up with him will be very lucky.

"I'm sorry. I won't-," he was suddenly cut off by a familiar voice.

"-Liliana?," the owner of the voice said warily, wanting to be sure it really is me.

I moved my head to look at the person who was once like family to me. Domenico. Sebastian's best friend other than Vin. I plastered a smile on my face along with a confused look, knowing I look a lot different from six years ago. I even got highlights in my hair. I cleared my throat before speaking.

"I think you have the wrong person."

"You seem so familiar."

I shrugged my shoulders apologetically. "I'm sorry but I'm not who you're looking for."

"Come on, Elena. Lets' go," Jordan spoke breaking the eye contact Dom held.

"DADDY!," a little kid screamed out as he ran towards Dom who had his arms wide open to catch him. I slowly walked past him, Jordan following closely behind. I could see Dom observing me from the corner of my eye.

He's smart but he thinks I'm dead. Sebastian probably still thinks the same. My heart clenched. He was family to me. He is family to me. That love for someone doesn't go away.

He has a kid. I've missed out on so much.