《Bestie Boys》Chapter 33
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I wake in a warm cocoon. I assume it's my men, but the body behind me feels smaller then usual. I open my eyes to see Bash in front of me and when I lift my head I see Liam and Trevor behind him. I sigh. My sister is here and probably Carter then? I don't turn over. I'm not ready to wake up and face the day yet. I let out a shuddering breath and lay my head on Bash's chest. I soak in his warmth and inhale his scent and it helps calm my nerves. He squeezes me back to him tighter and I assume he is awake or starting to wake.
I was almost raped. I saw that intention in Drew's eyes. He was going to "make me his," by raping me. His hands felt like ice, freezing my skin as one rode up my thigh. He touched the edge of my panties before he was ripped away from me, but what if Trevor hadn't been there that night? He was there by fucking accident! I could have been alone and Drew could have finished what he started. Tears are coming now, but I'm keeping my breathing calm so I don't wake the others.
My tears fall to Bash's chest and I know he's awake now because he grips my hair gently and pulls my head back. He kisses my tear stained cheeks.
"I love you Mia. You're here. You're safe now. We won't let anything like that ever happen again."
His whisper is so quiet I doubt anyone else can hear him. No one else stirs as he gets up and then leans down to pick me up out of the pile of people on our floor mattress.
I turn to see Cassidy who was curled around me and Carter who is curled around her. His eyes are open and he gives me a wink before he closes them again. I smile. They must have driven through the night.
Bash leads me to the bathroom.
"Let me shower with you? I will wash your hair and you can relax against me and we will just soak for a minute?" I can't say no to him and I don't want too.
I want them to comfort me and make it feel better. I nod my head. He makes quick work of turning the water on until it's steaming and stripping us both of our clothes. He steps in and holds his hand out to me and I take it to follow him. He slowly soaps up my body and washes me. It's not sexual, it just feels affectionate and loving. He washes my hair and massages my scalp. My mind is free of the night before and I'm just here in this moment with my bashful boy.
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He rinses me and I lay my face on his chest. Water sprays down over his head and shoulders to trickle to me. The shower door opens and I turn to lay my other cheek on his chest seeing Liam step in the spray with us. They swaddle me in between them with Liam at my back, his hands running up and down my sides.
"I'm sorry angel. I'm so sorry. Forgive us for letting this happen?" I turn in their arms to see him.
"There is nothing to forgive Liam. You did nothing wrong. You were there when I needed you just like you always have been." I lean up and push my lips to his.
I sigh into his mouth. God I missed their lips so badly. I want to kiss him for days, never coming up for air. He returns with the same intensity. I break the kiss, knowing we can't go any further with my sister and Carter feet away behind a closed door.
"And thank you for defending my rug so valiantly. My hero." That gets a smile out of him.
"I love you angel. I'm so sorry to tell you this, but you aren't ever going to be able to be out of my sight again. I'm going to be your permanent shadow."
I exhale. "Sounds good to me."
We relax under the spray and they hold me for another 10 minutes before Trevor comes in. He leans on the counter just watching for a moment before he leans into the spray and kisses my head. I look up and press my lips to his instead, needing more then a head kiss today. I reluctantly pull back because I know he had something to say.
"Let's get dressed baby. We are going to breakfast with your sister and Carter and there are some things we need to talk about. You can't stay at the dorm anymore. I don't think any of us could handle another night with you there alone." I nod my head.
I figured this would happen. I wouldn't be surprised if everyone made me go home and attend school there. At this point I'm feeling fragile and will allow them to make some choices for me. I don't want to leave school, but this feeling of being unsafe has gripped hold of me so hard. What will happen to Drew? What if he finds me again? He said he loved me, what if he never stops trying to find me?
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Carter and Cassidy run to my dorm to get my clothes. They come back with solemn faces and I don't understand until Carter makes a comment about the condition of my room. More tears fall and Cassidy holds me while I tell her what happened in my own words. It feels better to get it out and to hear her tell me it's okay and they won't ever let it happen again. She helps me get dressed and the boys and I pile into Trevor's truck while my sister follows behind.
We end up sitting outside at a breakfast spot. The weather is nice and the sun is peeking in and out of the trees. I'm not hungry and my stomach is clenched in cramps like it has been all night. I feel nauseous, will this feeling ever go away?
The boys take turns feeding me (see as: force feeding me), and I finally choke down some of my own food and orange juice just so they will stop babying me in front of my sister and Carter. No one questions it though and at one point Carter tries sticking a piece of bacon in my face. Everyone laughs and he asks why it's not cute when he tries to feed me, but it looks so cute when the boys do. I roll my eyes at him.
After a long breakfast, more tears and a heated discussion between my boys and Carter it's decided that we will rent a house off campus. We will stay here to attend school because that's what I want, but we will live together. Trevor will quit his job and once this semester is over he will sync his class schedule with mine so we go on the same days. He doesn't seem too disappointed since I think he actually hated the job. It's brought up numerous times by my boys and Carter that I'm moving in for safety reasons and it's still my choice to decide if I want a romantic relationship with them or not.
After lunch Carter drives us to a small house within walking distance of campus. I raise my eye brow at him because he obviously planned on us moving off campus before he talked to us about it. He shrugs and says a cop friend of his is renting it out.. hmm convenient timing. It's small, but cute and it would be ours and only ours. The boys have to share a room and I get one to myself. I feel a little guilty about it, but then squash that thought because I deserve it for putting up with them. There is already a twin bed in each room with desks and a couch and kitchen table. Carter said the cop has rented it out to students in the past, so it resembles the dorms a bit.
We go to a furniture store and order a queen sized bed for me and one more twin bed for the boys. I chuckle because the twins definitely don't fit on their twin beds, but here they are willing to sleep on them again so I can have my own room. We move the desks into the living room to create more space for the boys in their room and I find I like the idea of us all piling in here to do homework together. We spend the day moving out of our dorms and we all ditch our classes.
That night Cassidy and I make tacos and margaritas and we all sit around the table laughing and talking. So much has happened since last night, this normal dinner was something I needed. I do want to continue seeing my boys romantically, but I'm still reserved about how to move forward when I'm not feeling as confident about our relationship.
I feel like there will always be a niggle of betrayal in the back of my mind that I can't shake. I'm jumpy today and I feel uneasy about everything. Drew fucked my head up. I'm physically fine, he didn't hurt me, my boys made sure of that...but the fact that he was so close to just taking those things from me when I wasn't willing.
I feel victimized and powerless.
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