《Bubble Wrap》chapter twenty-nine

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only starting to bleed into the room when I feel Luke move in bed next to me. I stir at the shift of weight as I roll over, slowly opening my eyes as he moves to pull on his jeans. Last night doesn't feel real. Los Angeles doesn't feel real. Luke doesn't feel real, but when he turns and I see that lazy smile on his lips that I love so much, I know it is.

We're real. I get to call him mine, and I'm his.

It's all I've ever wanted.

"Hi," I say with a tired smile as I twist in the sheets, smoothing the soft fabric over my chest as his eyes find their way to my face.

"Good morning, sleeping beauty," he says with a smile before leaning down to catch my lips. It's a quick kiss, but enough to ignited my insatiable appetite.

"Where are you going?" I ask as I grasp for his hand, not yet ready to let him go. "Come back to bed," I say with a soft whine. "It's too early."

"Vince called," he says as he presses his knee into the mattress, burying his face in my neck before lifting his head to meet my gaze. "The record label wants to meet with us."

My lips curl up into a wide smile. "Look at you, rock star."

"Not a rock star yet."

"But you will be," I say and bring his hand to my lips, kissing his knuckles. "You're going to be incredible, Luke."

He grins. "Well, if you think so, it must be true."

"I feel like that was a jab at me being a know it all, and I'm going to let it slide because you're about to get a record deal and you're cute," I say with a bright smile. "And I'm tired."

"Get some sleep," he says, leaning down to press his lips to the corner of my lips. "I'll be back soon, okay?"

My lips curl up into a bright smile as his lips press to my skin. "Goodluck."

He gives me one last look before grabbing a clean shirt out of his bag on the bench at the end of the bed. Within a few minutes, he has everything he needs tucked into the pocket of his jeans and is heading out the door. I turn onto my back as a wave of joy washes over my skin. I relax into the cotton sheets as my eyes settle on the roof, resting my hands over my chest.

I expect the nerves to settle in.

My anxiety always getting the best of me, but they never come. There's not an ounce of worry in my bones for Luke. He was made to do this and after last night, everyone knows it. He's going to have that one in a million shot to make himself into something.

After an hour of tossing and turning, trying to fall back to sleep, I come to the conclusion that I won't find any. I sit up and smooth my hair down as I take in the remains of our room. Our clothes from last night tossed haphazardly around the room. A smile creeping onto my lips at the remainder of how effortless I felt last night. There's no pretending when it comes to Luke. I'm completely myself with him, and it's a good feeling. The best feeling.

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A warmth coats my skin as I climb out of bed, moving towards the bathroom to get cleaned up. When I get back, I dig through my bag and pull on the same part of jeans I wore on the flight and a soft white shirt. My blown dry hair resting in gentle waves around my shoulder as I move around the room, collecting our things. I tuck my things back into my duffle bag, making sure everything is set out neatly before doing the same with Luke's bag.

When I'm done, I settle on the bed and rest the manuscript pages of The Way We Were out on the mattress in front of me with a red pen in one hand and a highlighter in the other. The words on the page bringing me to my happy place, filling me up to the brim as I dive right in.

If I had known how hard it was going to be to move one without you., I would have held on tighter. I would have made sure to never let you go because when it came to you, everything was easy. It was easy to get lost in you. It was easy to feel free when I was with you.

Nothing and no one will ever compare to the way we were.

I was so in love with you. I still am. Everything felt right with you. Everything was better until it wasn't. I didn't want it to hurt, but it did. It does. We never should have taken our time for granted. Every moment should have been appreciated. Every moment should have been seen for what it was. I wish we had never let go, and if we could start all over again, it would have been different. It would be better.

Everything I did, everything I do—even now—it all revolves around you. You were my great adventure. My biggest dream.

I know you remember that feeling. You have to. The anticipation leading up to seeing each other. The way we could spend the whole day in bed and still want more. All of it was too good to be true, but it was. We were real. We were true. I was high on my addiction for you, and maybe that's where things with us went wrong. We got too use to the good, that when something bad came, we burnt out. We didn't know how to adapt so we crumbled.

And yet, I know one day we'll find our way together again.

I'm so caught up in the story that I barely even realize Luke's back until the dull thud of the hotel door fills the room. Instantly, my attention is broken by the dazed look on his face as I set the sheets down next to me and sit up.

"What happened?"

When he doesn't say anything, I'm hit with the worry that maybe they didn't see what I saw but then the words fall from his lips and excitement immediately bubbles to the surface. "They offered me a record deal."

"What?" I gasp loudly as I get up and jump into his arms. His arms move around my waist, holding me up as I lift my legs to wrap around him. "I knew it," I say as I wrap my arms around his shoulder. "I knew you could do it."

My hands move to his neck, brushing my thumbs over his jaw as I lean back, but what I see on his face isn't the joy I expect to see. He looks torn. "Why don't you look excited?" I ask, moving until my hands are rested on his shoulders.

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"They don't want the band," he says. "Just me."

"Oh," I say as I lower my legs, resting on my feet again as I lift my head to meet his eyes.

He nods and moves to sit on the edge of the bed. "They said they're not looking for a group right now, but they think I have exactly what it takes to be a successful solo artist."

"What do you think?" I ask as I sit next to him, twisting to face him.

"I don't know what to think," he says before lifting his head. "The guys want me to take the offer. They... they think it's a once in a lifetime opportunity and I'd be stupid to let it go."

"It's an amazing opportunity," I say, moving until my leg is pressed against his. "But it won't be the only one. You're too good for that."

"What if I'm not? What if this is my only shot?" he asks.

"Then take it," I say. "You're going to be incredible either way, and maybe, once you get established you can do both. I mean, look at Stevie Nicks."

He turns his head to look at me. "Really?"

"I don't know! I'm trying to help. She did both, didn't she?" I say with a laugh. "I just want you to be happy."

His lips curl up as his presses his lips to the corner of my lips. "I need to do this, don't I?"

"I think so," I say as I reach for his hand. "They gave you their blessing."

He nods before dropping his eyes again. "There's another thing," he says as he twists to face me. "They want me to move here."

This time my heart does drop. "For how long?"

"Indefinitely."

I close my eyes as I drop my head into my hands as the word sinks in. It sticks to my sides as it coats my skin. Not once in all of this did I stop to think about what a record deal could mean for us. I never stopped to think that a record deal could bring him across the country from me.

"Talk to me, 4A," Luke says, his voice gentle as he moves his hand toward my leg. He curls his fingers into my jeans and my heart aches as I lift my head.

"When?"

He takes a slow breathe as he brings his hand back to his lap. "They'd want me here within the week," he says and it breaks my heart a little further. "I'd have to make arrangements as soon as we get home."

I nod because I don't know what else to say.

"What are you feeling?" he asks.

"I'm..." I trail off as I stand up. "I feel like my heart's breaking."

"Em..."

"I was so happy this morning," I whisper.

"And now you're not?"

"And now... I don't know," I say.

"We're going to figure this out, 4A."

"Luke..." I say as I look at him. "There isn't anything to figure out."

"What does that mean?"

"It means... you can't not take this opportunity," I say as I run my fingers into my hair. "You need to be here, and... I'm in New York."

"Don't," he says as he looks at me, shaking his head.

"Don't what?"

"Don't say that like the only thing to figure out is where we're going to be living." He frowns. "Don't say it like we're just done."

I feel my eyes gloss over as I look at him. "Aren't we?"

"No," he says, getting up to his feet. He takes my face between his hands, leaning his forehead against mine. "I'm not done with you yet."

"What are we supposed to do?" I ask, clutching his shirt between my fingers.

"Long distance?"

I press my lips together in a tight line. "And then what? We don't know how long you're going to be in Los Angeles full-time, and we're just starting out."

"I don't know," he says as he lifts his head. "We visit as often as we can. I'll come to New York, and you can come here. I'm sure you've got vacation time you never use."

I nod my head. "How long can we manage that?"

"I don't know," he says as he steps away from me, sinking back onto the edge of the bed and it feels like a thousand of miles just got put between us. "We do it for as long as we can, and then we... start talking long term."

I chew my bottom lip as I turn to pace. "And long term would mean one of us moving."

"Yeah," he says. "Realistically."

I close my eyes because I know what we're really talking about is me moving. We have no idea how long Luke will need to stay in Los Angeles, and the thought of being away from him for even a week seems like torture. Even if long distance works, it's going to be hard.

"Luke." I swallow his name like it might be the last time I say it. "New York is my home. It's... my family is there. Maggie and Zane are there. My career... it's New York."

"You won't even consider it?" he asks, a fallen look creasing his face.

"No," I whisper as I sink onto the bed next to him, leaning my head against his chest. "Of course, I would. I just... this is really hard."

"Then tell me to stay."

I lift my head and with a weak smile shake my head. "You know I won't do that."

"Why not?"

"As someone who has gotten everything they ever wished for... you know I would never ask you to give that up for me."

"I'm not going to lose you."

I lean forward until my lips are pressed against his, racking my fingers through his hair as I bask in his warmth. His fingers move into my hair at the nape of my neck as his other moves over my waist, taking me in. When I pull away, his leans in until his forehead is pressed against mine and I feel his warmth all over again.

"You won't," I say, curling my fingers into his shirt again. "You're going to take the deal, Luke. You have to."

"What about us?"

"I..." I lean back to look at him. "We'll figure it out."

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