LOVE IS A complicated thing. It has all these twists and turns that I never expected. It took my breath away, both in the best way possible and the worst way imaginable. What makes it even harder is being in love with him.

A damaged heart.

I saw forever with him and for every reason there was to ends things, there was a million more to stay exactly where I was. I needed him. I wanted him. He destroyed me and he put me back together until I wasn't broken anymore. And then he broke me. Over and over again, but I was addicted. Addicted to my desire for him. Addicted to the way he made me feel when my heart wasn't breaking, because that feeling, that feeling was worth all the heartbreak.

And maybe that's my problem. Maybe it won't ever really work between us because I'm addicted to the broken pieces. His and mine. I'm addicted to fixing people. To making them better and I'll never learn better, because I don't know how to heal.

I don't know how to let go of my own damaged heart.

I don't know how to just be.

"Wheeler." Clark's breaks the bubble I'm in as I look up from the pages, seeing his leaning against the doorframe of my office with his arms crossed over his chest. "Didn't I give you the rest of the year off?" he asks.

My lips curl up slightly as I turn in my chair to face him. Christmas is Clark and his husband's favorite time of year, and he gives the entire office the last week and a half of the year off as our Christmas gift. Encouraging us to use the time to relax without the stress of work on our shoulders. "You did."

"Then why are you here?" he questions.

"I could ask you the same thing."

He smiles at me. "I came to pick up my daughter's Christmas gift that I've been hiding in my office for the last month and a half," he says. "Now, I believe you have a brother moving away in the new year, do you not? Go be with him and your family."

"I will!" I assure him. "I'm heading to Milton soon. I just wanted to make sure I had everything in order for the start of the new year."

"You are the most organized person I know. Go have some fun."

I nod. "Merry Christmas, Clark."

"Merry Christmas, Wheeler."

A content sigh falls from my lips as my eyes drop to the manuscript laid out in front of me. Clark is right. I am organized, and more than prepared for the start of the new year. With one last glance around the room, I collect my keys off the end of my desk and gather my stuff. The office is quiet as I cross the room to the elevators, finding my way out into the cold and toward the subway. The ride peaceful as I work through what I need to bring with me to Milton even if I'm only planning to spend a few nights, I will undoubtedly overpack.

Snow crunches beneath the soles of my boot as I walk home, my lips curling up at the rush of excitement in the pit of my stomach at the sight of Luke, who has his arms full of groceries as I approach. I pick up my speed to meet him as he reaches the steps leading up to our apartment building.

"Need some help?" I ask as I fall into step with him.

"Hey," he says, the corner of his lip lifting. "Mind grabbing the door for me?"

I nod as I pull my apartment keys out, unlocking the entrance door for the both of us. "Is this for Christmas?" I ask, eyeing the bags the multitude of bags hanging from his forearms.

"Sure is," he says. "A feast for one."

I turn to look at him, my lips turning down. "You're going to be alone?"

"No, I've got my choice of vodka or whisky to keep me company."

"Absolutely not," I say with the shake of my head. "Let's put these away," I say, gesturing to the bags. "And then you're going to get dressed and pack a bag."

"And why would I be doing that?"

"Because I'm not leaving you to spend the holidays all alone," I tell him. "You're coming with me to Milton."

"I don't want to barge in on your family, 4A," he says as we stop outside our apartment doors. "Can you grab my keys out of my pocket?" he asks, gesturing the best he can to his jeans.

"You wouldn't be," I say as I slip my hand into his pockets, pulling his keys out and stepping towards his door to unlock it. "You'd actually be doing me a favor. My parents throw an annual Christmas Eve party and Charlie is going to be there, and I much rather have you there as a distraction."

Luke's brows knot together as he steps inside and heads for the kitchen counter. "What do you mean Charlie's going to be there? Why would your parents invite him?"

I chew my bottom lip as I shut the door behind me. "I, uh..." I swallow the lump in my throat as I approach the kitchen island slowly. "I may not have told them the real reason we broke up."

"Em."

"I know, I know," I say as I hold my hands up. "I'm a people pleaser and I hate conflict, but you have to come. Please?"

"It's going to be awkward."

"I didn't think that word was in your vocabulary." I tease before leaning onto my arms over the island. "It won't, I promise. The party is tonight and it'll be fun, and then tomorrow we just hang out and watch Christmas movies."

"I don't think it's a good idea."

"Please come?" I ask. "If you don't, I'll just spend the whole time thinking about how you're here all by yourself."

"Is it such a bad thing you're thinking about me?"

I smile weakly. "I already think about you, Luke."

"Tell me again why I can't take you on a date?" he asks and I roll my eyes as I toss the bag of chips in front of me at him.

"Get dressed, you nerd," I say. "And pack a bag. I'll meet you in the hall in ten minutes."

"Alright, alright," he says as he holds his hands up in surrender. "You win."

My lips curl up as I round the counter, resting my hand on his shoulder as I lean up and kiss his cheek. "Thank you."

"Are you sure we can't date?"

"Ten minutes," I say, ignoring the question as I cross his apartment and move into the hallway. I push my key into the deadbolt and open my door, closing the door quietly behind me as I cross toward my bedroom. My duffle bag is settled at the edge of my bed, already packed and ready to go as I step into my bathroom to grab my make-up bag of the counter.

I press my lips together as I stop in front of the mirror, racking my fingers through the loose curls that hang around my shoulders. Pressing my lips together, I give my reflection one last look before crossing back into my bedroom to grab my bag. Luke is already waiting in the hall for me with a bag draped over his shoulder and his guitar case in hand.

"Planning to serenade my family?" I ask as I lock the door behind me, tucking my apartment keys into my purse as I dig out the keys to Zane's truck.

He shrugs. "I don't go far without it," he says as he follows me toward the stairs. "Treat yourself this year, 4A?" he asks, his eyes lingering on the car keys in my hand.

"They're Zane's," I tell him. "I get to use his truck in exchange for getting up at the crack of dawn to drive Maggie and him to the airport yesterday."

"How kind of you," he says as he follows me to the bright blue truck parked along the curb. He stops at the passenger door as I walk around to the driver's door and unlock it. "4A, are you sure this is okay?" he asks as he puts his guitar and bag in the backseat with mine.

"Yes! It'll be fine."

"That seems unlikely," he says as he settles into the passenger seat.

My lips curl up. "I didn't think you got nervous. They're just people, Luke."

"They're your people." He frowns. "What if I make a bad impression?"

"Oh, you probably will," I say with a grin. "You'll be fine! They'll learn to like you."

"You're not helping."

A small hum of laughter falls from my lips as I pull away from our apartment and head toward Milton. There's a giddy feeling in the pit of my stomach knowing that Luke is nervous about meeting my family. He wants to make a good impression. A lasting one. It leaves me with the confidence in knowing that my heart is worth the risk with him.

"Can I ask you something?" I ask after we get on the highway leading to Milton, a forty-five minute drive outside of the city.

"No." My lips curl down at the abrupt answer and his curl up. "That was cute," he says before leaning back into his seat. "Okay, shoot."

"You're an ass." I shake my head but don't waste time in asking my question. "Have you ever been in a serious relationship?"

"Define serious."

"One that lasted more than a night," I clarify.

He shakes his head. "Then no."

"But you want more than one night with me?"

"I want all the nights with you, 4A."

I try to keep my heart from bursting from my chest as I bite down on my bottom lip. "Why me?" I ask.

"I know when I have something good." He smiles softly before looking at me. "I don't know what I can tell you, 4A. I wasn't sleeping around because someone broke my heart. It's not like I'm damaged. I've just never met someone that fits before, but you do. You fill in all the spaces."

"And that's supposed to be a good enough answer?"

"It's all I got," he tells me. "You're different. You make me work and I like it. You don't depend on anyone but yourself and your smile, Jesus, it could stop a heart."

My lips curl up at his words and from the corner of my eye, I can see him watching my lips. The last of the walls caging in my heart crumbling at the warmth of his gaze.

"Are you sure I can't kiss you?" he asks.

"I'm driving."

He grins at that. "So, it'd be a yes if you weren't?"

"No!" I laugh though it feels more like a lie than the first time I said it. "We're friends."

"I don't remember agreeing to that."

"Nice try, Luke."

"I'm going to get you to kiss me by the time we get home," he says with all the confidence in the world. "Mark my words."

I shake my head. "It's not going to happen."

"Are you sure? We're going to be together for a long time, 4A," he says with a mischievous grin. "Last time that happened, we did a lot more than just kiss."

"In your dreams."