KIMBERLY

in love with you."

I have never seen a man so rigid as Jace was now. Seeing him this frozen reminded me of the permanent frost-bite I was about to get on my ass. In the heat of everything this afternoon, I ran out in practically nothing but satin shorts and a crew-neck sweater.

Thankfully, it hadn't been snowing, but the fucking ice on the ground was biting me in the ass... literally.

Jace finally moved when I shivered, immediately taking his jacket off and handing it to me.

"I don't care how much body heat you produce," Jace said. "Run out in nothing again, and I'm donating all your clothes."

He wouldn't dare.

"I tell you I love you and you're admonishing me about clothes," I stated incredulously.

Jace shot me an icy—even icier than the ice on the ground—glare. His gaze lowered to see my bare legs as he pulled me onto his lap. "First off, you ran away after my confession. The least you could do is let me get mad at you over fucking clothes. Second of all, this... feels interesting."

He sounded so sheepish and embarrassed at the last part, I couldn't help the inordinate urge to lift his face into my hands and just stare into his eyes.

"I'm sorry," I admitted, apologetically. "You deserve so much better than me, Jace."

"Don't say that."

"It's true," I cut him off. "Jace, you're so fucking... you. You're right. I know I run away from everything, but you've always been patient with me and never forced me to be someone I'm not."

Jace shook his head lightly, making sure he didn't move my hands. "Venus... If only you could see yourself the way I see you."

"What? Annoying... or even better, an infuriating vixen?"

"One-hundred fucking percent," Jace chuckled deeply. "But I mean it. You piss me off, but it's because I love you. It's because I haven't been able to stop thinking about you since the day you walked into the office like you owned it... like you owned me."

It's only been a little over five months since Jace and I met but so much has happened since. I didn't fall in love easily, but when I did, it was fast and hard and over-fucking-whelming.

There were many things I could attribute to being the reason I fell in love with him.

Sure, there was the proximity and the obvious tension, but Jace was beyond that. He fell into my life at a time when I needed someone like him the most. Humble, kind, understanding, patient, and everything else that made him the perfect husband.

He was by no means perfect, but we perfected each other.

We pushed each other to a point where others didn't want to push us.

It's why we understood each other so well.

"You are my bitch," I teased lovingly. "In all seriousness, I'm done running away from my feelings, Jace. I've been pushing this down for so long that when you told me you loved me, I panicked even though I was already head-over-red-bottoms in love with you. Talking to Lia was oddly clarifying. Like, I swear she should become a therapist in her limited free time. She helped me realize a lot of shit, but most importantly, she helped me realize that I was finally opening up and healing. You helped me heal, Jace. I don't think I could ever thank you for that."

Overcome with emotions, I leaned down to press a tear-filled kiss to his lips. Jace's arms came around my back, pressing me tighter against him.

"Kimberly," he breathed out, pulling back to look at me with what we can now describe as love in his eyes. "You're the strongest woman I've ever met. Life gave you so much shit and you still find a way to prevail through it all. I barely did anything. You healed yourself. Stop selling yourself short. It's not like you."

"God, I love you," I whispered. "It feels so good to finally say it out loud."

Jace smiled. "Again."

"I love you," I repeated, running my fingers through his hair. "I love you so much. Every ounce of love that I have in my body—the ones that thought they'd never see the light of day—realized that it belongs to you. You turned me into a mush, jackass."

"You're my mush," Jace replied. "But I swear to fucking God, Kimberly. If you ever run out like that on me, I'm buying that fucking collar. You're lucky I haven't yet."

I snorted, remembering his threat from when he came back from Brazil. "Trust me, now that I admit that I love you, I'm going to be clingier than plastic wrap. But... maybe you should get the collar. It'll be kinda fun."

Jace looked down, either embarrassed or disappointed. "This is the last place that we should be having this conversation."

Theoretically, there was truth to his words. I don't think the dead people around, including my ex-boyfriend, wanted to hear about our sexual activities.

"Okay," I relented. "You know? It's kinda fitting that you're here." Jace quirked his eyebrow, indicating for me to continue. "Even though I foolishly promised Marcel that I wouldn't fall in love with anyone else, he made me promise that I would."

Jace looked taken aback. "Really? No offense, but your ex-boyfriends are something else."

Sure, Darius cheated on me so I could be with Marcel, and Marcel made me promise to fall in love again, but they weren't that out-of-pocket. I mean it was kind of normal for them to want someone they cared for to be happy.

Maybe I'm just really out of touch.

Now, I was confused. "Why?"

"As I've said many times, you are a sanity-sucker," Jace explained as if it was obvious. "I'll be arrested if I unleash you into the world to find another poor man to prey on. Remember, you've already taken my sanity. Now, I need you by my side at all times."

"Maybe you're the clingier one."

"It's your fault, vixen," he retorted, not realizing how much I loved his nicknames. "But do continue."

For a second, I completely forgot what I was talking about in the first place.

He's the real sanity-sucker.

That sounds way too sexual.

"Right," I remembered. "Even though I was stubborn"—Jace chuffed—"Marcel was trying to make me promise to fall in love again and find happiness. He told me that when I do, he wants to meet them. So"—I turned my head to face the grave—"Marcel, I want you to meet Jace... the jackass I fell in love with. Don't start fighting. I have a feeling Jace might win."

Jace let out a deep-bellied laugh before snapping his mouth shut. "You can't make me laugh at a fucking cemetary, Kimberly."

"I just did, so shut the fuck up and introduce yourself, baby," I chastised, flicking his forehead.

After rolling his eyes at me, Jace put on a sincere smile as he faced my ex.

At least Marcy's getting better treatment than Dar.

"Hello, Marcel," Jace started. "As Kimberly said, I'm Jace... her husband. I honestly wasn't meaning to, but I fell really fucking hard for her. I know it's impossible to let a madwoman like her go, but thank you. I promise to keep her safe when she decides to do something fucking stupid, which knowing her, she will. I promise to never let her go, no matter how hard she pushes. And I promise to love her... until forever. I promise that I won't let a single moment go by where she doesn't feel love or happiness. I may be fucking jealous you got her first, but I'm grateful that I get to be her last. Also, you left a real piece of work beh—"

He yelped, clutching onto the arm that I punched to prevent him from finishing.

♕♕♕

The next morning, I woke up to a warm chest acting as my pillow.

The events from last night unfogged themselves, bringing a smile onto my face. After Jace finished his 'conversation' with Marcel, he brought us both back home.

I never realized how much emotional breakdowns had a toll on me until I took the fattest nap in the car, prompting Jace to carry me inside... bridal style.

It was fitting, to say the least.

But I attributed how well I slept to how light my heart felt. For the first time in years, I accepted all the shit that happened to me, finally allowing myself to move on.

Jace and I owed our first-born child—not that that's happening anytime soon—to Lia.

After all, talking through everything really gave me the clarity to tell Jace I loved him.

Ash better put a ring on her.

"You're awake," Jace asked, stroking his fingers through my hair. I looked up at him, nodding with my cheek still pressed against him. "It's about time. You were asleep like a log. I've been up for hours, but your dead-weight was sprawled on top of me."

He insulted me with a smile on his face.

I must be going insane from how much I loved that.

"I love you," I said, watching his smile brighten.

It slipped out of me before I could even regulate my mouth and words.

But I didn't regret it.

"Again," Jace demanded, pulling me up so I was straddling his lap.

"I love you," I repeated, bending down for a kiss.

He deepened the kiss before I could pull away. "Again."

"You're getting greedy," I teased.

"For you... always. Now, again, woman."

I let out a hearty laugh as Jace got up from the bed, taking me with him. Legs wrapped around his waist and all. "No, it's your turn."

"I love you. I love you. I love you," he replied. "You owe me one."

In the burst of his declaration of love, he walked us to the bathroom and set me on the counter. We got ready for the day, but he still wouldn't let me walk, wrapping my legs around him again as he took us towards the kitchen.

"You're definitely the clingier one," I joked.

He chuffed smugly. "Damn right, I am. Now, I believe I'm waiting for something."

Rolling my eyes, I obliged, "I love you, Jace. So much so, my heart can't tell that it's even in my body anywhere. It feels like it's yours."

I didn't think it was possible for Jace's smile to get wider, but it did. "You're off the hook."

Jace placed me on the kitchen island as he started making breakfast for the two of us.

A giddy rush coursed through me when I realized he was making Mom's famous chocolate-chip pancakes. He's made his version a few times before, but the fact that he asked Mom for her recipe—not to forget, the fact that she even gave it to him—filled me up with complete adoration for the man in front of me.

He hopped up onto the island too, placing the plates between us. "Question."

"Answer," I replied, stuffing my face.

God, these were good.

He poured me a glass of milk, handing it over. "Don't choke, vixen. But... is the 'no personal questions' clause redacted?"

"I think we're way beyond that point, so yeah... Why?"

"That box... the one you found at your old apartment... What's in it?" He was cautious, as if it would set me off.

"Technically," I started. "I wasn't lying when I said memories. You remember how I told you that I took a year off of school after Marcel died?" Jace nodded in confirmation. "Well, I was in a really bad place... mentally and emotionally. This older woman in Spain talked about how she wrote letters to her husband after he died. So, during that year, I wrote a bunch of letters."

"What's in them?"

With a heavy breath, I answered, "A lot of heavy shit. I don't think I ever want to read those anytime soon. My mind was in a really dark place. But if you want to, you can. I don't mind."

"I'll only do what you're comfortable with," Jace replied. "What about the last one?"

"You noticed that?"

"I notice everything when it comes to you," he admitted.

"That was cheesy, babe. I kinda liked it." I shrugged. "But, to answer your question, it was something I got from Marcel's parents after I came back to New York. Vivi begged me to open the letter and read it. Apparently, there was a flash drive with a video in it too, but I never watched it or read it."

"You haven't talked to his parents since?" I shook my head. "Do you plan on it?" I shrugged. "Words, baby. Words."

"Marcel wasn't that close to his parents. They got really overbearing and controlling when the leukemia came back," I explained. "They blamed me, you know? At his funeral, his mom broke down and said I was the reason her son died. That I failed him."

"You know that's not true," Jace argued. "No one has control over these things."

I nodded. "I know. A grieving mother is a force of nature. But I blamed myself. In my eighteen-year-old mind, I was constantly failing people or letting them down. And Marcel was someone else that I failed to protect."

"I think you should read the letter and watch the video."

"Do you plan on being my moral support?"

"Always."

♕♕♕

"You're a liar," I accused my husband.

Moral support, my ass.

The little bitch chickened out and called for additional help. Granted, the backup he called was phenomenal, but he really had to go behind my back and do it.

"Venus, I know we're married and all that shit, but Vivian is your... Well, Vivian," he attempted to reason.

I nodded in agreement, scrunching my face as if I was trying to assess the validity of the point. But the jackass knew me well. As amazing as he's been during every breakdown, there's certain stuff that Vivi just happened to be a better candidate for.

The fact that he even thought about it makes my heart burst.

Stupid heart.

I watched as Vivi walked up to our front door, opening it before she could knock. She looked relieved to see me, pulling me in for a tight hug. "You do that again, I'll kill you."

"Oh... Vivian. You say the most beautiful things," I joked, pulling back. Vivi walked in, giving Jace a curt nod as a form of greeting.

One which he returned.

Two of the most important people in my life and this is who they are?

"You two are psychos," I muttered, pulling her inside. She's only been here a few times, but her laser-like mind knew exactly where everything was. She let go of my hand to pour herself a glass of water, strutting like she owned the place.

"It's a testimony to your character," Vivi pointed out. "Now, what am I here for again? Your husband's message was cryptic. You'd think after what we went through last night, he'd be more forthcoming with information, but no."

"I have a name," Jace retorted.

"So do I," Vivi snapped. "Want a medal?"

"Please, for my sake, get along," I pleaded with both of them, locking my hands.

"This is us getting along," they both answered at the same time before sneering at each other.

I rolled my eyes. "What happened to your date last night? I told you that I'd kill you if you missed it."

"What's with you two and murder threats?" Jace asked.

Vivi deadpanned. "They're fun. And, Savan—"

She cut herself off when she realized she hadn't told me. From her reaction, she wasn't expecting Jace to have told me either. So, I feigned shock. "What? I never knew."

Jace tugged on my hair. "You're a shitty actor."

"Fuck off," I replied, flipping him off.

To think, we were professing our love for one another just a couple of hours ago. We were truly an odd couple, but I loved it.

"He's right, K," Vivi nodded reluctantly, "But I'm guessing you've known for a while."

I nodded, pointing at Jace who raised his arms defensively. "I shouldn't be expected to keep things from my wife. It doesn't fit the full-transparency thing we're going for." I nodded like a bobblehead, hoping to protect my husband from the impending doom of Vivian's anger.

"I swear I've been meaning to tell you, but with everything going on, it felt wrong to talk about my new relationship," she explained.

"Vivi, you're my best friend. You don't have to apologize for shit," I soothed her worry. "I'm so fucking happy for you. You and Van are great people separately... I can't even begin to think about how amazing you two are together. But if you ever keep anything from me ever again, I'm killing you."

"She is pretty amazing." Vivi smiled slightly. "And I promise to tell you everything when your fix of testosterone isn't in the room. But can someone answer my question?" Vivi asked, her mood switching to bored already.

Wait till she hears this.

I cleared my throat. "I'm watching the video today."

I didn't need to clarify which video I was talking about. There was only one that I would need emotional support from Vivi to watch. And, from the way she stiffened, she knew that too.

Vivi and I have spent enough time as best friends to know what our expressions met. The way her eyes slightly widened and eyebrows raised infinitesimally, let me know that she was asking if I was sure. I nodded once, to which she replied with a softened expression.

One that said 'I'll be here for you'.

"This is trippy," Jace muttered. "I'm assuming you two discussed this... telepathically. I'll give you two some privacy. I'll be in the kitchen if you need me."

"Thank you," Vivi replied for the both of us.

Jace walked over to place a kiss on my forehead. "It's not your fault."

He was right.

I repeated those words over and over again.

As I read through the letter, tears slipping, I kept telling myself this.

It's not my fault.

Then, as the familiar voice filled my ears, no longer a figment of my imagination, I repeated the words a final time.

It's not my fault.

***

i've got soooo many things to say:

i) hello new readers! i'm known for moving fast, which is why i already love each and every one of you. thank you so much for all your sweet comments and support. i genuinely can not even begin to express how much they mean to me. i've literally been smiling nonstop at the fact that there are people out there who enjoy what i write. i sound like a broken record, but given the topic of this topic, it feels right to say. i love y'all so fucking much.

ii) i'm like ninety-percent sure that there's only one more chapter left and an epilogue. but don't fret. i have more books and bonus chapters planned.

iii) completely unrelated, but blame my dad for this chapter not being up sooner. for someone who has daddy issues, i should not be learning how to drive from him. like bruh, if he yells at me one more time, i'm pulling over and walking home.

anywho, i hope y'all enjoyed!

love, zia.