KIMBERLY

at my skin as I sat in the patio area, surrounded by snow.

The temperature wasn't the only reason I liked winter. The deep purple and blue hues in the night sky, riddled with sporadic stars, highlighting the snow-capped pine trees surrounding the property was breathtaking.

I was a sucker for winter scenery; there was something so mystical and familiar about it.

In retrospect, I should've brought a jacket. I wasn't expecting to spend the last ten minutes sitting outside, and foolishly thought the body heat and anger coursing through me would be sufficient.

The door opened, the light from inside brightening the snow-covered pathway.

"Hi, honey," Effie spoke gently, holding out a jacket. "Jace wanted me to give this to you."

Of course, he did. With a reluctant smile, I accept the jacket, slipping it around my shoulders. Instantly, the familiarity of his musk invaded my nose as I inhaled, taking more of it in.

"Thanks," I mumbled, resting my head against her shoulder when she sat down next to me.

She interlocked her hand with mine, placing her head on top of mine. "You should've seen him in there. I don't think I've ever heard him speak so much in the time I've known him."

"What did he say?" I asked, curiosity getting the better of me.

"Well, I'm not going to rehash everything, but he ripped poor Addie a new one," she replied, pinching my thigh when I scoffed. "Kim, honey, what happened to you two? You and Addie used to be so close."

With Mom and Aunt Lucy having their biases since their kids were the ones fighting, it made sense that Effie was here. She was like a mother-figure to both of us, making her the epitome of neutrality.

"Tell her that," I muttered, soothing the skin. "I don't get what her deal is."

"What do you mean?"

I took a deep breath. "I love her. I really do. But she's had something against me ever since what happened to me and Ash, and I have no idea why. She doesn't even ever want to talk about it, and I'm sick and tired of being the first one to initiate everything."

"That was a rough time in all of our lives," Effie admitted. "She really didn't tell you anything?"

"Nope," I replied, popping the p. "And she's always mad when I'm hanging with Ash or Audie as if she has a right to be mad. It's not my fault that she never stepped up for her own siblings. She doesn't know jackshit about Audrey and acts like it's my fault. Plus, now, she's mad at me for marrying Jace because she had a crush on him. Newsflash, honey, I didn't choose that. Sure, things are going well between him and I, but you know that I never wanted to marry."

"Trust me," she sighed. "I know that feeling better than anyone. Don't let her get to you. Until she opens up and explains, don't think of it as your fault, sweetie. We all cope with everything in odd ways. Addie chose to shut everyone out and you chose to try and fix everything"—I opened my mouth to protest, but she cut me off—"which is overwhelming for you. Don't even try to deny it."

"What? So, I'm mad because I want to fix her?"

"You're mad because she's the only one you haven't been able to fix," she countered. "Kim, it's not your responsibility to be the solution to everyone's problems. It sucks to say, but fixing them won't fix the emotional turmoil you feel. It's easy to think that if everyone else is fine, you'll be fine. But the only way to be fine is to put yourself first."

I stayed silent, twiddling my fingers with hers before asking in a small voice, "Then, how do I fix myself?"

"It's different for everyone, hon," Effie replied. "But I think you're already halfway there. I know this marriage wasn't something you wanted, but Jace really brings out this side of you that I know and love. And, the best part is, it's not because you're dependent on him, it's because you're allowing yourself to finally open up and heal. He helps you put yourself first, and that is so beautiful."

"I guess," I mumbled. "I just... I can't help but feel like I'm betraying him."

Effie didn't need me to explain who I was talking about. Everyone in my family knew about Marcel and how devastated and broken I was when he passed.

"Let me tell you something." With a deep breath, she continued, "No one but Alex knows this. I never wanted the girls to feel bad, but Alex wasn't the only one who was in love when we got married. Back in Valdonia, I fell in love with my father's driver's son.

"I thought I would never be able to love anyone as much as I loved him. Even when my father threatened him and I reluctantly married Alex, I was stubborn about never loving Alex, but... Now, I do. Granted, it's a different kind of love, but Alex became my best friend. You never forget your first love, but you have to understand they're not always going to be your last."

"So you think Jace and I are going to become platonic soulmates or something?" I asked. "I hate to break it to you, but Vivi might murder my husband if it comes to that."

Effie laughed, throwing her head back. "I'd pay to see that fight... Oddly, I think Vivian might win."

"Think?" I scoffed. "I know she'll win. I love her, but she still scares the shit out of me."

"Stop diverting," Effie chastised. "But, to answer your question, I don't think you and Jace are similar to me and Alex. The way you and Jace look at each other has me convinced it'll never be platonic and that's okay."

♕♕♕

In the week and a half since Christmas, I haven't heard a single word from Addison. I decided to follow Effie's advice and let her come to me first, already having said what I needed to say.

We spent an awkward Christmas and New Year's Eve/Day together, which consisted of her looking at me out of the corner of her eye.

Rina stayed with us for the past week, Jace and I driving her back on New Year's Day. After a few words of encouragement and an affectionate hug goodbye, I let the comfort of my mother-in-law go.

Jace and I were back at the office, a few days into January, when Van called from her desk.

"Hey, Van. What's up?" I greeted her.

"Uh... I just got a call from Zina. Apparently, your cousin is here," she replied, hesitation in her tone.

I raised my brows in confusion, looking over to see Jace shrugging his shoulders. "Ash?"

"No... Addison." Even Jace looked shocked at the revelation.

"Does she have weapons on her?" I huffed, my voice low.

"No," another voice answered. "Unless you count information as a weapon."

Shit.

I cleared my throat. "Addison."

"I'm coming in." I could practically hear her rolling her eyes. Another thing I started doing because of her when I was a kid.

Within seconds, the door opened and in came Addison. Like Vivi, Addison always had a... sharpness to her beauty. In many ways, she looked very similar to Ashton, but with long hair and cold hazel eyes. Ash's eyes were more green than hers, while Audie's eyes were more brown.

But the one feature all three siblings shared was their light-to-medium brown hair. Both the older siblings took after their mother, while Audrey looked slightly more like Uncle Eli.

"Kimberly," she greeted before moving to Jace. "Jace."

For the first time, she looked scared or too ashamed to address the man. It was nothing like the man-eater I knew so well. What did he say to her?

"Addison," Jace replied with a curt nod. "What brings you here?"

She was still fidgeting when she handed the folder to me. "I asked a connection of ours to obtain the footage from the night of your accident."

"And?" I asked, accepting the folder.

"Well," she continued. "I ran into Nathan Laurent on my way here. He had information for you guys about his father, but was too much of a chicken-shit to have you himself."

I snorted, looking into the documents. I froze up, my eyes shocked by the information in front of me. Jace had to shake me out of my state. "Venus, are you okay?"

I handed out the documents for him to read, realizing it would make more sense for him to read it rather than hear my incoherent thoughts.

"What the fuck?" he muttered, flipping through the pages.

"That was my exact reaction," Addison replied.

"You know," I scoffed. "It's hilarious how Gregory Laurent's two moods when it comes to me are either fuck without consent or kill."

"Are you okay?" Addison asked, an unfamiliar sincerity in her tone.

"Since when the fuck do you care?" I muttered.

Jace looked back and forth between the two of us. "I think I should let you two... talk this out."

He ignored the silent pleading in my eyes for him to stay, resorting to kissing my forehead. He laughed when I started glaring at him as he headed for the door. The second it shut behind him, Addison smacked her lips.

"We need to talk," she hesitantly started.

"No fucking shit," I replied. "I want answers for all the questions I asked on Christmas Eve."

She nodded. "First of all... I'm sorry. I haven't been... I should've been a better cousin and friend to you."

"What happened between us, Addie? We used to be so close," I whispered weakly, taking a seat.

"I know," she whispered back, sitting next to me. "I swear I didn't mean for this to happen. Everything just..."

"Fell apart," I offered.

"Yeah."

I could tell from the wistful look in her eyes that she was remembering all the good memories. From finishing each other's sentences to torturing Ash, we had some really great times together. The love and bond between us was undeniable... until it was.

"What happened?" I repeated.

She took a deep breath. "It started the day you guys were taken. I came out of the bathroom to see the two people I loved most in the world... gone. It really fucks you up, especially when you blame yourself and everyone around you blames you too."

"You have to know, Addie, Ash and I really don't blame you," I replied, holding her hand hesitantly.

She clasped on, choking back a sob. "I know... But it wasn't like that at the time. I remember everyone's faces when I told them what happened. I could see the unspoken blame. I was supposed to be the one who took care of you two... watched over you two, but I fucked up. For the six days you guys were gone, no one talked to me. Mom and Aunt Raya were hysterical. Dad was stressing out. Uncle Liam was silent. I broke them. That's all I remember thinking for a week straight."

"I'm so sorry," I breathed out. "I never knew."

"I didn't expect you to, Kim. You were just kidnapped," she whispered the last word before placing her head into her hands. "Thinking back, I feel like such an asshole about it. But I just felt so guilty and jealous. Even after you two came back to us, I was still useless. You bounced back and Ashton only ever sought you for comfort."

She started laughing hysterically. "You know what's ironic? You always talk about how you saw Audie as a second-chance... I always see her as another person to disappoint. Now, look at us. I know nothing about my baby sister and it fucking sucks. The worst part is, I misplaced all the anger I felt towards myself onto you and messed up the relationship we had. And, when I realized I fucked it up, I thought it was too late to fix it, so I kept on going and going."

"It's never too late to fix it," I replied softly. "I've always loved you, Addie. That's why you have the ability to hurt me. I deal with people saying worse shit about me on a daily basis... but none of them matter to me. Not the way you always have."

"I know," she muttered. "In all honesty, my crush on Jace wasn't as big as you think it is." I raised my brows, waiting for her to continue. "The only reason I was bitter about it was because he was another person who couldn't resist you... another person I wouldn't be good enough for. You don't realize how perfect and lovable you are, which used to annoy the shit out of me."

"Honey," I deadpanned. "I've been a drug addict for the better part of the last decade, I've failed my three attempts at rehab, I have an obsession for fixing people and I have attachment and commitment issues, for which I desperately need therapy. What part of that screams perfect to you?"

"The part where you always bounce back."

I was momentarily stunned. I definitely wasn't expecting that answer out of her.

I took a deep breath, desperate to change the subject. "Her favorite color is always lavender, even though she'll say it depends on her mood. Her favorite food is the one-dollar pizza near Carnegie Hall. She has a soft spot for animated kids-shows."

"What?" Addison asked, confused by my sudden burst of information.

"All I ever wanted was to have a conversation with you, Addie," I replied. "That's all I needed for us to fix this. And, since everyone seems to think I'm hell-bent on fixing people, I'm giving you a leg-up to build a relationship with Audrey. Use those facts as a stepping stool to learning more."

"I hate you," she whispered with a smile.

"I love you too."

She pulled me into a hug, the smell of her coconut shampoo filling my nose. Some things never change. "Thank you, Kim. You're still as annoyingly perfect as you were as a kid."

"I'll take that as a complement," I laughed, still clutching onto her. "After all, young Kim was iconic."

"That she was." She smiled wistfully. "Have fun putting Laurent in jail... and do it before I use our connections."

"I will, bossy." With another small smile, she left, allowing for Jace to come back in. "I know you and Van were eavesdropping," I accused my husband.

He shrugged, coming closer. "I finally understand your temptation. Also, what are these connections you keep on mentioning?"

I gave him an exaggerated pout. "I don't think you want to know."

He narrowed his eyes. "Tell me."

I bit my lip before hesitantly responding, "Addie and I may or may not have had a... hand in helping someone who is a tad bit underground hide someone in one of the Rainses' apartment buildings."

"We'll leave it at that."

"Good." I nodded curtly before questioning him. "What did you say to her on Christmas Eve?" I asked as he pulled me into his arms, lightly tracing the smile on my lips.

"The truth," he replied, brushing my hair out of my face. "That you, Kimberly Astor-Kingston, are an amazing woman, who doesn't deserve to have people constantly trying to knock her down."

"Fuck you," I muttered, blushing like a little kid.

"Do you want to?"

Was that even a fucking question?

***

tbh, i never believed in like the fanfiction (not that this is fanfic) writers' curse until i was writing this while my sister was in the hospital. she's okay now, but it was just too funny to not mention.

also, all the resolution going on in the last few chapters has me sad that the end is near.

i'm so emotional, y'all.

love, zia.