KIMBERLY

spent.

Now, I know what my credit card feels like.

Round after round of being pounded into by this hulk of a man was exhausting. And, if he didn't stop soothing my wrists the way he was currently doing, I'd be down to go at it again.

His large thumb was rubbing across the red marks on my wrists as he lay down next to me. Every nerve in my brain was telling me to get out of the bed and sleep on the floor or something, but every fiber of my body was begging me to stay and bask in his warmth.

Ever since we started fucking, there wasn't a single time that we stayed in bed together afterwards. Granted, most of the time it happened in his office, but the rare occasions that he was in my bed or I was in his, it was a pleasant exchange and one of us would skedaddle.

Albeit, with his mom in the same house as us, it would be difficult to explain why we were sleeping separately, since she was under the impression that Jace and I were working towards a long-term marriage filled with happiness.

I felt bad for deceiving the poor woman, but it wasn't theoretically my fault.

Well, it was, but she didn't know.

I was happy enough with the countless orgasms I've had in the past month.

"When did we stop counting our orgams?" I blurted, relishing in how he started placing light kisses on my wrists.

I don't know if I was being paranoid, but I couldn't help but notice a shift in the way Jace acts around me. Ever since the first time we did it and he came back home from his Mom's, there's been an inexplicable difference.

The way he was gentle or caring or making a light-hearted sarcastic comment after sex. Or, even the way his eyes just watched me.

In the pale moonlight gleaming through his window, his eyes were visibly soft, looking at me like I was more than an exclusive sex buddy. It makes it more difficult to separate feelings from this. It makes it harder to keep up the resolve I had been building for seven long years.

"When you were too incoherent after sex to remember how to count," he snarked back, reminding me of the nature of our relationship.

I rolled my eyes, slapping his arm with the hand he wasn't currently holding. "That's not my fault."

"You're right," he pauses to think for a second, "and it's a huge ego boost to know that I've given you significantly more orgasms than that loser."

What? Darius?

"Who?" I leaned back to see his jaw ticked at the thought of the mystery man. I was pretty sure the only thing Jace knew about Darius was the fact that he and I dated and he cheated, so it didn't make sense for him to be upset about a sex life he knew nothing of.

Did he finally read the tabloids?

"Benedict," he gritted through his teeth.

Have I ever slept with a dude named Benedict? I feel like I would remember that. It was a strangely sexy name.

"Who?" My owl imitation was spot-on.

"The guy I took to Brazil."

Oh my...

"Benicio?" All confusion left my tone, only to be replaced by annoyance.

The hand he was leaning against suddenly came down and clamped over my mouth. "Don't say another man's name when you're in bed with me."

Rolling my eyes, I licked his hand, smiling when he yanked it away in disgust. "First off, how are you going to be disgusted by that considering what we did in the last couple of hours? Second off, thank you for reminding me. Where should I sleep?"

He looks at me funny, like he can't believe I had the audacity to ask that question, but we both know the rules. At least one of us needs to abide by them.

"Shut up," he grunts, now fully laying down on the bed.

I try getting up, only to be met with an obnoxiously big arm that's pulling me back against the obnoxiously large body. That's another rule that we have now broken.

God, how am I going to get out of this?

"Jace," I started in a futile warning tone. "We can't do this."

The guy just snorts. "What? Do you want to be the big spoon instead?"

I shift against his body, us still fully unclothed from the earlier events. I felt him harden against me and it took everything in me to not climb on top of him. "You know what I mean."

"Just for tonight." Those three words shouldn't have weakened me as much as they did. They shouldn't have made me as willing as they did.

Not that I would ever admit it aloud, but my argument was weak. Did I really want to explain to him why I couldn't stay in bed with him 'just for tonight'?

Sensing my hesitation, he amended his statement. "A) Explaining to Mom why we're sleeping separately is something I'd rather avoid considering how happy she looked tonight. B) I'd rather not sleep on the floor and I'm definitely not letting you sleep there either. C) We're adults, Kimberly. We can handle sleeping on the same bed without developing feelings for each other."

Maybe he could, but I did not have confidence that I could reciprocate.

"Fine." He relaxed underneath me as I gave in. In any other circumstance, I would've been convinced ages ago. But, I made a promise. "No feelings, right?"

I made a promise.

I needed to keep it.

"No feelings," he mumbled into my hair.

Oh fuck you, Jace. Fuck you for being so... you.

♕♕♕

I woke up to an overwhelming embrace of warmth.

Limbs tangled together... the steady rise and fall of a muscular chest... rough stubble tickling my neck...

"I'm getting a strange sense of déjà vu," a voice that wasn't Jace's called out.

My eyes shot open as I scrambled up, forgetting I was as naked as the day I was born under the sheets. Before I could indecently expose myself in front of Emre, Jace's arm shot out, wrapping around my chest, hiding me from view.

"Get the fuck out," Jace mumbled into the pillow, pulling me back down.

The hulk of a man shifted to move me closer into his side, practically suffocating me.

"Why?" Emre whined. "This is so entertaining. Let me take a pic for Van. She's gonna be pissed that she missed this."

"You take a picture, and I will shove your head down the toilet," Jace threatened. Well, it was as threatening as mumbling into a pillow could be.

Still, Emre got the message and groaned. "Fine. I just came to say goodbye. I'm going back to Valdonia for a couple of weeks. You better call me, asswipe. Keep him in line, sexy."

I smiled up at him as he leaned over to kiss me on the side of the head and pinched Jace's bed sheet-covered buttcheek. My husband slapped his best friend's hand away like it was a hot iron.

"I was about to say that I was gonna miss you, but I take it back."

"Jace," Emre whined again, this time getting on top of us. I felt bad for whoever they tackled when they played football. I felt like the poor ball, under pounds and pounds of abnormally large men.

I've been relating to inanimate objects way too much lately.

"Get off of us," Jace practically commanded.

The big guy ignored his comment and wrapped his arms around us in an awkwardly loving hug. "Say you'll miss me."

"No."

Emre squeezed tighter. "Just say it."

"No."

"I'll look at Kim's boobs," Emre countered before meeting my wide eyes. "With her permission, of course."

Jace stayed silent for a few seconds, realizing that I would most likely not object.

Nudity wasn't a big deal to me, if it wasn't obvious from my other interests. The human body is beautiful, and as long as people had my permission, I couldn't care less about who saw what.

Plus, I've been modeling for a long time, so I've lost track of what parts of my body haven't been exposed.

Is that normal? Should I see someone about that?

"I'll miss you," Jace relented begrudgingly.

Emre's wide grin was worth it, even if Jace couldn't see it through his closed eyes. Emre started placing sloppy kisses all over Jace's face, resulting in him getting shoved off.

Before Jace could take back his earlier statement, Emre bolted for the door, but not before yelling, "Good luck covering those up!"

What?

Wide awake, I leaped out of his bed and trudged to the only mirror in this room.

With no choice but to be awake, Jace leaned back against the headboard, tucking one arm behind his head. If it weren't for my current state of panic, I would've taken the time to appreciate the view.

But, I couldn't. Because all I saw was red... literally.

"I'm going to kill you," I said calmly.

"Again... huge ego boost," was all he said.

"Jace..." It was my turn to whine. "I look like I was mauled by a bear and proceeded to get abnormally-sized chicken pox."

I wish this was an exaggeration. I practically had hickeys covering an obscene amount of the surface area of my body. This was going to be a nightmare to cover up and explain.

"Someone had a busy night."

"Jackass."

"Hey"—he raised his hands defensively—"all I'm hearing is that I kept my promise," he replied, suddenly getting up on the bed, exposing one of the culprits for this current situation. "Tell me, Venus, is there an inch of you that doesn't know how I feel?"

He came up behind me—our naked bodies fully exposed in the mirror—showing that he had almost as much damage to his body as I did.

I didn't realize I scratched so hard, but I saw his point.

It was a huge ego boost.

The only difference is: he's going to have an easier time covering it up.

Jace's arms came around me—an action that would've been considered a hug, but I wasn't going to consider it as such—and nudged my head back with his.

His lips trailed light kisses over my neck, as every part of him was pressed against my back. It felt... blissful.

"You may have missed a few spots."

Laughing, he picked me up and launched me onto the bed.

"Let's remedy that. After all, I am a man of my word."

♕♕♕

Carina was giving me the look. The 'I know what you did' look. The look that no one wanted to get from their mother-in-law, but she strangely seemed pleased.

Truthfully, it didn't take a genius to know what Jace and I were up to, considering how every inch of exposed skin through my outfit had conspicuous marks.

Jace was upstairs showering, letting me go first after our additional two rounds. And, thankfully, I had the insight to bring extra underwear in my purse, considering the poor state of the ones from last night.

I came downstairs to see Carina with a cup of coffee for me and tea for herself, telling me that Jace informed her of my coffee tastes.

She was truly an amazing woman.

"It's nice to see you two happy," she commented, sipping on her tea.

Was I happy?

Considering how fucked up I felt after initially hearing about the marriage, this was not theoretically how I was expecting everything to turn out.

Jace was definitely not what I was expecting either.

I would say I was a lot better, but I don't think I could consider myself happy. I was lucky enough to experience love in my life, and I was depriving this good man of the same opportunity. How could I be happy about that?

I was the reason he was going to be in a loveless marriage. It's why I had to cut this arrangement to two years.

He deserved to be happy and find someone who made him happy in a way that I never could.

I couldn't tell Carina that Jace got used to faking it, considering how many people we needed to keep up the facade for.

"We feel happy," I lied.

Well, maybe it wasn't exactly a lie. I did find myself enjoying my time with him, and if it weren't for how guilty I felt about the arrangement, there was a chance that I could truly be happy.

"That's good," she replied, her mouth curving up into a smile. "I knew I saw something between you two when we first met."

I gulped a large sip of the hot coffee, letting the burning liquid cover my throat. I would do anything to avoid this conversation.

"So," I started, already regretting my decision to down the coffee. "What are your plans for Christmas?"

Emre's family is Muslim, but I was told that they spend Christmas with Jace and his mom, much like how they did for Thanksgiving. But, I had an idea—one that Jace might kill me for—but I thought it was great.

One of these days, my meddling would get to me, but until it did, I planned on never stopping.

Carina just shook her head, pursing her lips. "Nothing special. Same as always, why?"

"Well, I loved spending Thanksgiving with you guys, but I was hoping that you and Jace would want to spend Christmas in New York," I truthfully said.

Being here was a nice break, but I loved my family. They were my everything.

Thanksgiving wasn't all that important to us, but Christmas was just associated with many memories... the good kind. I didn't want Carina to feel guilty or obligated to do anything, but I think it would be a nice way to bring everyone together.

The look on her face had the aforementioned emotion pulsing through my veins. "You don't have to. I don't want you to do anything that would make you uncomfortable."

It didn't take a genius to see that Carina wasn't fully over Alex. That and the fact that he was married with two kids would've been a hard pill to swallow.

And hell, I was a possessive woman.

If I saw the person I loved with someone else... Let's just say someone better get the cops ready.

"Don't feel bad, Kimmy," she said with such heaviness. "I'll think about it."

I wasn't used to hearing that nickname out of her mouth, but for some reason, I didn't mind. In the past, the nickname was exclusive to Alex and him, but adding Carina to the mix felt right. Without knowing it, helping her and being there for her through her cancer experience was helping me.

I smiled in response, opting to drop the discussion. "How's the new medication working out?"

"It's amazing. I can't thank you enough," she gushed. "My latest results show that I'm getting better, which is just a blessing."

"I'm glad to hear it," I responded, taking her hand in mine. "Vivas is my proudest achievement. Do you remember me telling you about my cousin, Ashton?" She nodded. "Well, his girlfriend, Camelia, works in the neuro-oncology department, and they had a huge breakthrough a couple months back. Their findings are being published in major medical journals, and all I can think about is how proud I am. Not only of her, but all the people she gets to be a part of helping. You know?"

"You should be proud of yourself too."

I shrugged. "I'm just helping with providing funds. They're the ones putting in the effort."

"Stop undermining yourself," she chastised. "There's a lot of people who wouldn't even take that first step. You know... I've been meaning to ask you something."

"Yeah?"

"Is there a specific reason why you're involved with cancer research?" she asked, not realizing the weight that just landed in my chest.

I couldn't bring myself to say it.

A huge pressure built up in my chest, suddenly making it difficult to breathe. It was an easy, justified question, but I just couldn't open my mouth to form the words.

Her eyes were curious, but her eyebrows furrowed in worry by my reaction.

"I swear, Ma, if you're showing her more baby pictures, I will burn them," Jace called out from the stairs.

Even when he didn't mean to help, he still did.

Thankfully, Carina dropped the subject. "If you threaten to burn them, I'll definitely show her."

Jace walked into the kitchen, looking between the two of us in curiosity, before kissing his mom on the head and taking my cup of coffee.

Absent-mindedly, he took a sip, his face scrunching up in disgust. "I forget you're an abomination." I rolled my eyes half-heartedly as he proceeded to walk to the fridge and pulled out some creamer.

"Jace!" Carina yelled. "Be nice."

"It's okay, Carina." I smiled mischievously. "I'll just shave his head in the middle of the night. Or, should I wax his legs?"

"Wax." She grinned back without a moment of hesitation. "It's more painful."

"Ma!"

♕♕♕

If I had to choose a favorite month, I'd choose December.

I had a lot of love for October, and February was great—even though it was short—but December just had a vibe. It practically screamed comfort and warmth and joy and all the other things I needed more of in my life.

I was in the middle of texting Vivi—who wouldn't give me any details about the girl she was currently smitten with—when Jace walked into my room.

The last week had been pretty busy with finalizing the deal with HeliosTech, but it was currently Saturday, so neither of us needed to go into work. Laurent has been pretty quiet ever since the altercation a month back, but we were pretty solid for now.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, looking up from my phone.

"Get ready," he replied, leaning against the doorframe looking ready to go out, much to my dismay. Jesus, stop being horny.

"Why?"

"Just do it."

"Why, Nike?" He rolled his eyes, evoking a shit-eating grin out of me.

"Stop asking questions."

"Why?" This time he shot me a glare. I got up, putting my hands up in surrender as I walked into my closet. He followed me in, setting his butt on the vanity I had inside. "What should I wear?"

"Casual, but dress warmly. It's pretty cold outside."

I nodded, pulling out black leather pants and a long cream sweater. We had been naked in front of each other enough times that I didn't feel awkward about changing in front of him.

"Tell me I look beautiful," I joked, doing a little spin to show off my outfit.

"No," he deadpanned. "Take this jacket, in case." He pulled out a black leather jacket that matched my outfit perfectly.

"Color me impressed," I nodded. "I knew I was turning you into a fashion expert."

His feeble attempt at a glare did nothing but make me smile more. Walking out of the closest, he waited for me to finish doing my makeup and tie up my hair into a loose bun.

"Hurry," he said, looking at his watch.

"Where are we going?" I walked back into the closet, looking at my collection of shoes. I should donate some of these soon.

I was honestly trying my best to find one fast, but my brain was muddled by this sudden plan. Suddenly, I was lifted onto the island in the center of the closet. Jace randomly picked a pair of platform boots and settled in front of me.

"Of all days for it to take you a while, you choose today?" He chastised, lifting one of my legs to his knee.

"If it bothers you, I'll take longer," I snarked, causing him to start tickling my foot. "Stop it." I barely got out through the laughs.

But, the laughs don't fool anyone. Tickling is the equivalent of torture.

"No." He proceeded to tickle my other foot too. Skillfully evading my kicks, he brought his hands up to my waist to continue ticking me.

"Stop it, Mar-"

My laughter died instantly as did his hands. I can't believe I just...

Somehow sensing my distress, Jace moved back to my feet, putting the shoes on in my stunned state. "Who's..." he trailed off, looking up to see my anguished face.

I shook it off. "It's... nothing." But, it wasn't nothing. It would never be nothing. "So, where are we going?"