KIMBERLY

how old I get. I will always love Halloween with every bit of my cold heart.

Ever since I was a kid, I loved everything horror-related. Mom used to mutter a quick prayer to God every time Halloween was approaching because she knew I had something up my sleeve.

Harmless pranks, dressing up, scary movies, endless parties...

I used to have many reasons for loving October thirty-first.

Ever since I started drinking and using, Halloween became less fun and meaningful, turning into an excuse for me to get shit-faced. My parties used to be iconic, with everyone willing to sell their soul for an invite.

But, last year, I spent Halloween recovering from my overdose at the apartment. Needless to say, it wasn't a fun time. Vivian, the absolute apple of my eye, tried making up for it with a horror-movie marathon, just like old times.

Vivian was considered threatening by most of the men in our life, the girl could not stomach horror or gore.

Even though Vivi had pure intentions, all it did was remind me of what I used to spend the day trying to forget. I still threw a party, since it was expected of me too, but Vivi kept a close eye on me.

It was torture. Very much Tantalus with everything he could possibly want out of his reach, but I don't regret it. After all, it's the night my baby cousin met the love of his life, even if the ass refuses to call me Cupid.

Speaking of the little shit, I decided to grace him with my presence on Halloween. Out of everyone in our large family, Ash and I were definitely the closest and spent almost all of our Halloweens together with horror marathons.

After the tiring events of yesterday, it was safe to say that a lot of the tension between Jace and I dissipated following our conversation.

When Darius showed up to his office telling me he was instructed to take me home, I almost cried. But after I treated him worse than a casual hookup, the fact that he still cared about sending me home safely sent a sharp pang through my chest.

Then, he didn't answer any of my texts or calls, leading me to excessively worry about his whereabouts. I was this close to calling my underground connections to find him.

Even though he was still mad at me, he managed to cook me dinner, an action that he repeated this morning before he left for work. Thankfully, I woke up significantly late, so he didn't bear witness to the single tear that fell when I ate the waffles.

I pulled up to Ash's apartment building, parking the Range Rover in one of the two spots he had. The elevator ride to his apartment was short, and I punched the code for his apartment into the keypad.

The boy was too predictable.

"Loser," I called out. "Where are you?"

"Just when I thought the Devil wouldn't show up," he replied from the kitchen.

I walked in, placing my bag on the island before hopping into a seat. "Where's Cam? It's your one year anniversary of meeting her."

Ashton, unlike me, was blessed with skills in the kitchen. If you asked me, it was unfair because both him and Camelia were amazing cooks, and I could barely toast bread.

"I know, but she had work today," he replied, frowning. "She should be home in one hour and thirty-seven minutes, so I'm making lunch for her. Do you want some?"

I rolled my eyes at his little obsession for his girlfriend. It was cute, in theory, but I don't think I've ever seen them fight.

I couldn't even fathom how that worked. I needed a little hate-sex.

"Sure, but I don't get why she still has an apartment. She practically lives here with you."

Ashton shrugged. "I asked her, but she doesn't want to leave her roommate."

Of course he asked. Those two were the definition of moving fast.

You're the one who got married a month after knowing the guy.

Oh, shut up.

"Makes sense." I nodded. "When are you guys leaving for Japan again?"

"March twelfth," he answered. "Mom and Dad were upset that I'm spending my birthday without them, but what can I say? My girl needs me."

I gagged aloud, resulting in him throwing a rubber spatula at me. Even though I pretended to hate it, I couldn't even begin to describe how happy I was that my cousin found her.

I lived with an immense guilt about what happened to us when we were kids for so long, constantly blaming myself for his fear of strangers growing up. It was a dark time in our lives, but things only got worse from there.

So I got up, giving my cousin a side hug that he tried cringing away from. I didn't care. At that moment, I just wanted to hug the guy I loved like a brother. "It's nice seeing you this happy."

He softened for a moment, letting me hug him. "I want you to be this happy too," he said in a small voice.

"I'm fine, Ash."

"Exactly," he replied with more of an edge in his voice. "You're fine. But why settle for just being fine?"

"I've had my taste of happiness," I broke off from the hug, not wanting to continue with this conversation.

"Kim," he sighed. "Happiness isn't a one-time thing... Neither is love."

"Ash," I groaned.

I loved him, but I was gonna sock him if he didn't stop repeating what everyone's been telling me recently. I'm sick and tired of hearing it.

"I already know what you're going to say, but I'm not gonna stop and neither are they."

My eyes fell back in that familiar motion. "Okay, let's say I hypothetically decide to listen to you, what do you expect me to do?"

He sent one of those 'are you seriously confused?' looks in my direction. The one with the raised brows and tilted chin. The one that got him smacked in the head many times as a kid. "Be open with him."

The scrunched up expression on my face was enough to indicate my dislike for the idea. I didn't do 'opening up'. At least, not willingly.

Ash continued, "How about this? The next time he asks you a question, you give him an honest answer. Not one of those sarcastic shits."

I nodded slowly, thinking about it for a second. I was banking on Jace adhering to the 'no personal questions' rule, so the probability of him asking in the near future should be slim.

"Fine," I replied, the feeling of throwing up crawling up my throat at the prospect. "Enough about that, how's Audrey doing?"

The twins' birthday was the last time I talked to my young cousin and the first time I talked to her since I started attempting sobriety. Even though I didn't want to admit it, hearing Ash tell me about how Jace tried his best to hide my state from her really did a number on me.

Audrey wasn't an idiot. She knew I was more than just upset. I practically helped raise the girl, meaning that I knew her better than anyone and she knew my tells too.

Ash had the advantage of age, so I didn't censor any part of myself around him. He has always been more than a cousin to me. He was my brother and one of my best friends, even if he was a bitch to deal with.

On the other hand, Audrey was my little baby. I was only eight when she was born, but I swore I'd protect her from anything. She was my second chance.

I spoiled her rotten with love, but I couldn't help myself.

Everytime anything bad happened to her, it cut me deeply. It made me feel like a failure, unable to protect anyone I love. I was so tired of failing everyone.

Even though I always tried to keep my problems under wrap around her, she managed to find out. It was hard to keep it a secret when it was so publicized.

After my overdose last year, the heartbreak in her eyes was enough to wish I didn't wake up, a dangerous feeling I don't want to experience again. I was grateful for Jace covering up, but I know she knew. And I couldn't face her again after that.

"You should talk to her more often, Kim," Ashton replied. "I know you feel guilty, but that girl loves and looks up to you more than anything. With her exhibition coming up, she could really use that annoying confidence of yours."

Audrey was one of the best ballet dancers in the country, competing in rigorous programs for her youth ballet company. In the last five years, she won first place in the most prestigious ballet competition in the world twice. I was proud of her beyond words.

"Fuck off." I rolled my eyes at his jab. "As her brother, you should advise her to find a better role model."

"Why? Don't ask me to ever repeat this because I probably won't, but you're a good role model... at least sixty-two percent of the time."

The yelp out of his mouth when I launched an orange at his head was music to my ears.

He rubbed the spot in pain. "I told Lia that we shouldn't have a bowl of fruit on the table. But no, she didn't believe that you would use them as weapons."

"That girl loves me," I responded cheerily. "You know, if you weren't in the picture, she'd probably say yes to the millions of times I've asked her to marry me."

"Stop asking my girlfriend to marry you," he gritted before going silent for a second. "I need to tell you something, but promise you won't freak out."

Was he...?

"I'm not going to freak out," I lied.

Ash turns the stove off, leaving me there as he heads for his room. "This may seem too fast, but you know me." He comes back, holding a small box in his hand. I practically start hyperventilating. "I don't ever feel like this, but Camelia is just... her. I don't want to freak her out completely, so I was thinking about giving her this promise ring in Japan."

He opens the box, showing me the object that has me leaping out of my chair and hugging my little cousin. God, I was so proud.

The ring was stunning. A gold band embedded with tiny diamonds, all leading to the centerpiece. "Is that a cherry blossom?" I asked, looking at the five light pink, petal-shaped gems with the small pearl in the middle.

It wasn't too big, but it was still enough to catch your attention. It suited her perfectly.

"Yeah," Ashton sheepishly replied. "Her Jiji gave her a camellia necklace, so I figured a camellia ring might be overkill. But we're going during cherry blossom season, so I guess it all works out. I can already see the surprise on her face."

"She's gonna love it."

"I hope so. She already knows that I'm ready to go at whatever pace she sets, but I wanted to remind her that she's the one for me," Ashton smiled before suddenly groaning. "If you tell anyone I said this, I'm sending Jace a pic of your Halloween costume from third grade."

No... he wouldn't dare.

"You're bluffing," I called out.

He smirked. "Try me. I bet your husband would like to know that his wife ordered the very interesting looking bacon costume."

"I'll kick you in the balls."

"My hands will still work."

♕♕♕

On the drive home, I decided to suck it up and call Audie.

Spending a surplus of time with me growing up really did bring up her sass. She had a smart response for everything, but unlike me, she had a deeper level of kindness to her. I thank Uncle Eli and Aunt Luce for that. Lord knows what the world would do if there were two Kims.

As expected, ballet had been taking every moment of her free time, but I'm thankful that Azariah and Vivi's brother—Caiden—have been keeping her company.

Ballet was demanding, and Audie was the type to get lost to the sound of pointe shoes tapping the hardwood floor. I wanted the best for her, but I hoped that one day, she'd find the balance and show people the goodness I know she has.

For a while after she first won first place, she had been obsessed with the art of it, spending hours and hours at the studio, snapping at anyone who tried to interrupt her. During the comp, she collapsed from a stress fracture in her lower leg, leaving us worried.

It took a while for her to recover for many reasons, but she did.

Unlike me, she always knew when and how to get back up.

The townhouse was thoroughly decorated, an act I haphazardly completed before going to see Ash. But it still fits the spirit of Halloween.

It was too early for trick-or-treaters, so I had the time to get ready. My plans for tonight included staying in and trying to stay sober as I handed out candy to the kids.

In previous years, Vivi and I would head over to Ashton's apartment before our annual parties to hand out candy since neighbors could access his floor given our penthouse situation. Ashton had a special blanket with two holes cut out for me because my "outfits would give children nightmares."

They weren't scary, but they were definitely risque.

I'd slap him, but still accept the ghost costume for the benefit of the many children that would stop by.

By Kimberly-standards, my current outfit was quite simple with a red lace top and a long red silk skirt. With my little devil horns headband and usual eyeliner with the red lip, I was good to go.

After heating up some leftovers Ashton packed for me, I settled my ass on the couch, waiting for the first round of kids and starting my marathon.

♕♕♕

I had finished watching Friday the 13th when the doorbell rang.

Clapping my hands, I grabbed the bowl filled with candy I had to pick up on my way home since my health-nut didn't have any. I opened the door, not bothering to look through the peephole when my happiness subsided.

"You're not a kid," I announced, looking at my husband who was home early.

"Amazing observation," he stated blandly. "Although, you should probably look more happy about that or you'd have a lot of explaining to do in court."

"Shut up," I mumbled, moving out of the doorway. "Why didn't you just unlock the door?"

"You double-locked it, genius," he replied. I nodded, remembering my safety precautions. As someone who used to wreak havoc on Halloween, I know my way around some of the little shits now. "What's with all this?"

I followed him inside, scoffing. "It's only the best holiday of the year."

"I should've guessed that the she-devil would be particularly happy today of all days," he smiled sarcastically. "But isn't your costume a little contradictory?"

"How so?" I asked, looking down. If anything, my costume was a little bit too on brand.

He pointed to the necklace resting on my chest. "A devil wearing an angel necklace? Shouldn't it burn or something? You know, I've been meaning to ask you about that. It doesn't really match your... Kimberly-ness."

I froze. This was his first time mentioning the necklace. I cleared my throat, the painful reminder clogging up my brain. This was the last thing I wanted to think about on Halloween. "Someone's filled with jokes today. Why are you home early?"

Ashton would be shaking his head at me, considering I failed to do the one thing he asked me to. But, this was too deep and too personal to get into sober. Hell, I didn't want to talk about this even when drunk.

"Van wanted to go home early to give out candy to the kids. Laurent hasn't done anything about his threat yet, so I figured I'd leave the office early too." He shrugged, tugging his tie off.

I just nodded, my brain still fixated on the piece of jewelry I've loved for so long. At that moment, the bell decided to ring again, so I plastered a smile on my face and gestured for Jace to join me. "Come on. The kids need to see something scary today."

He rolled his eyes, a slight smile on his face, but he still followed.

I immediately started squealing when I opened up the door to find three of the cutest toddlers and the most adorable baby trick-or-treating.

The little baby was dressed up as the Pillsbury Doughboy. The little girl took after my own heart with her Cruella de Vil getup, and the two boys were dressed up as Edward Scissorhands and an astronaut.

"Trick-or-treat!" the three toddlers screamed out in unison, resulting in me slapping Jace's arm so he could see how cute they were. Given the wide smile on his face, he was seeing it too.

"Oh my god! I love your costumes," I said to the toddlers before turning my attention to the baby. "And this little guy is cute enough to eat! Take as much candy as you want." I held out the bowl.

The three kids looked to their guardian for permission before sorting through the candy to get what they wanted. The girl looked around my age and was dressed up as a fairy. "You look amazing too! Are they all yours?"

The girl just laughed, "Please! I'd go insane. This little fella"—she bounced the baby against her hip—"is mine. But the other rugrats are my niece and nephews." She looked back up at me before realization struck her features. "Wait, aren't you Kim Astor?"

I nodded. "That's me."

"Holy shit! I'm Nazia. I'm a huge fan," she continued. "You looked amazing on the cover of Divine."

I was used to this, for the most part. Even though I technically retired, my reputation in the industry preceded me. "I'm glad you liked it!"

"Liked it? I loved it! Anywho, you two are absolutely gorgeous together," she gushed. "Your wedding was just wow."

My first instinct was to say that we weren't a couple, but Jace fortunately saved me from where he was, crouched down to talk to the kids. Somebody needs to tranquilize my uterus.

"Thank you," my husband replied. "I'm a lucky man."

Good. A vague but believable response.

Nazia smiled at his response before looking down at the kids. "Come on. Say bye to the nice couple." She turned back to us. "We'll get out of your hair now. It was nice meeting you!"

"Likewise," I smiled warmly at them, waving as the kids said 'bye'. The little astronaut fist-bumped Jace's out-stretched hand before heading off, melting my resolve even further.

Someone get me through this.

♕♕♕

"Are you okay?" I asked when I returned to see Jace looking anywhere but the paused movie.

After the first group of toddlers left, Jace made his way towards his room. To my surprise, he came back down and joined me. We were in the middle of our second movie together, occasionally having to pause it for the kids.

I tried getting him to dress up or let me put makeup on him, but the guy just shot me a deadly look. I guess that counted as a costume.

For the last couple of hours, Jace has been jolting nonstop—much to my amusement—solidifying how we were so a match made in heaven.

"I'm fine," he snapped. "Why don't you leave the bowl outside? Not that many kids come by this late."

"Because some teenager will come by and steal the bowl," I reasoned. I wouldn't tell him this, but I was once that kid. An evil little gremlin, as Dad would call me. Granted, I only stole the bowls of people I knew or didn't like.

Jace looked at me with that very familiar expression. The one that read 'are you serious?'. "Kimberly, we're rich. One missing bowl wouldn't kill us. If you're particularly attached to that bowl, find another one."

Rolling my eyes, I obliged, setting it outside. He had a point, and I didn't have it in me to argue with him that it wasn't the cost of the bowl but the principle of it. Settling back on the sofa, I played the movie for a few minutes before he flinched again.

I paused the movie, smiling mischievously at him. "Are you sure you're okay? I don't mind changing the movie. We could watch Hocus Pocus or Halloweentown. Great options for the sensitive bunch."

If looks could kill...

"Play the damn movie."

And so I did.