I left from his house on early morning. I already message dad and Aatharva about my departure. Everybody in the house seems like doesn't care about my leaving. Arjun are not at home because he went for emergency around midnight yesterday after his birthday celebrations.

I went to Sandya house. Yesterday, I restrain myself from burst into tears because I don't want any misfortune happen to Arjun because of my sadness. He going to start new happy life with Sadhana.

At Sandya apartment, I just closed myself in the room. I only crying and keep crying. My eyes feel very sore and swollen. I also couldn't eat or sleep. I feel like I'm losing myself. I feel so upset, I shut myself down, I have no motivation for anything. I give myself all pain which I didn't know whether I deserve it or not. I feel so broken. I think this what they called heartbroken.

This continue for few days and I know that Sandya is worrying about me and sad because of me. I need to come out from this sadness and spent my time with Sandya. I couldn't be like this tormenting myself forever.

Next day, I enjoying my time with Sandya. She really tried her best to cheer up me. I at least should pretend that much for her.

Later, I went to buy ticket to India to go back there as here full of memories of Arjun and I wanted to run away from all of this. I already buy ticket on coming sunday. Until then, I spent my time with Sandya, Vinay and Aleena.

On sunday, I bade bye to all of them and request them to not follow me until airport to send me off. Because I would feel sad to leave them.

As expected, Arjun didn't come to meet me or called me. I prolonged my departure to India because in deep of my heart, I still believe Arjun will come and take me with him and scold me for my decisions. But nothing like that has happened and now my heart also slowly started to accept the reality that Arjun won't came to bring back and everything about us was end. I chucked about my thought for still believe in this impossible things.

I can't call Arjun as my heartbreaker because he never gives any hopes to me and always avoiding me. It's only my fault and my stubborn heart. It's just being so adamant to not forget him and move on.

Although, I never expect love from him and thought my love is enough for both of us. But it's really stab my heart into millions when I heard from Nidhiya aunty about Arjun gave me divorce letter.

It's was so hard to pretend I am okay but then it was my best decision and very matured thinking of mine. I really proud of me for taking this decision. If he is happy then it's will enough for me. If I was the reason for his despair then it's okay for me to stay away from him. It's not that being with him everyday and everytime only can love him. Even being far away with him I will love him with all my heart.

I change everything that could make me remind of Arjun. I change my phone number, e-mail, I cut my hair shortly and changed my hairstyle and hair colour. I look very different and prepared myself for new life without Arjun.

(Her new hairstyles)

On the way to airport, I received a call from orphanage from my old numbers saying Mother had got heart attack last week. They tried to reach me and Sandya but couldn't. Now she is alright but she cannot be stressed or receive any shocking news. It will be dangerous to her life.

I haven't change to my new number and still using my old number because I wanted change after reach to India.

Hearing out about Mother's health conditions. I was shock and numb. I couldn't go to India in this state, it will be harmful to mother as she know about my marriage and Arjun. My divorce news can shatter her and too risky for her health. So, before end up the call, I give them my new number and asked them to call on this number in case of any emergency also asked them to keep it secrets even to Sandya.

Forgetting about my plan to go India, I went to train station and buy ticket for the last station. My new journey without Sandya and Arjun was started. If anyone tell me this one year back or five year back, I would either burst into laugh or punch them on the face.

I arrive at Holmes Chappel, one of smallest town in London. I have kind of big savings from my work as I am not very materialistic person. I don't like to buy jewelleries or any gadgets. I only use my money to my food and clothes. I have obsession to buy clothes on online and they were super cheap. It's all between 5 to 15 dollars. My most expensive clothes are between 30 to 40 dollars only.

Now, I have to find hotel first to stay and mentally note to find job tomorrow. I found a three star hotel at town. It was nice and comfortable. They even provide food for free in the hotel. They also have taxi services for tourist to around the city.

Next morning, I roaming around the city and after asking for jobs at many places. Finally, I found a job at art gallery. The salary is reasonable and they also provide room to stay.

Therefore, I happily accept the job and I have asked to join tomorrow. I'm going to love this job very much as it's something I really good at it and love to do. I really glad to get job and with that happiness, I again rounding around the city, eating and taking pictures.

Next day, I went to job with my luggage as I would move in today. In the working place, there has five painters including me. David, Anna, Josephine and Harry. All if them very nice and sweet. They give very warm welcoming to me and guide me through the day about my works.

I went to cyber cafe and email Sandya about my job and everything including about Mother's health conditions. The only lie I told her was my whereabouts.

I told her, I was at India. I also request her not tell anything about me to Vinay because Vinay definitely would tell to Arjun and I don't want Arjun to know anything about me. Let it be like, I just disappear from his life because I promised him that I will completely fade from his world.

It's been a week since I working here and everything really goes very well. I thought I couldn't survive without Sandya and Arjun on my side. I received many compliments for my paintings and my paintings all were sold quickly. I actually enjoying my life at here.

Although, I really miss Arjun deeply. I miss him as soon as I wake up, I miss him when I'm about to sleep. I wish he could be at my side but it's impossible. Whenever, I miss him terribly I would look at my heart as there were only place I can find him. I never know looking back our happy moment's would bring tears.

I shake off my feelings and thinking about Arjun. Since he is belong to someone else and it's bad to think about Arjun anymore. Most probably Arjun now were happy with Sadhana and enjoying his life without me just like he wished.

After a month of working, I met an Indian family. A grandpa and grandma age around 70's and their grandson around Arjun's age. They are so sweet and treat me like their own family. They will come to visit me a week twice. They look at me with so much of love and I can feel the genuinely feelings of them towards me.

Until now, I never craving for family love but after saw them I also wanted a family with grandparents, parents and siblings. I also get close with their grandson, Siddhart. He also doctor and he so gentleman and sweet. I love to teased him and he remembered me about my dingo. I called him Sid or Sidhu and he also call me Divu.

Tomorrow I probably will be very busy with some important work and couldn't update twice.