《Her Innocent Love》35. The mistakes
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I really couldn't stay angry with her for longer period. She wrapped me in her fingers and the fact she haven't realise it, is big grateful for me because I couldn't said no to her and unconsciously I started getting close to her more.
This is very bad. I couldn't let her to distract and conquer me anymore. This peak time for company to fulfilled my promised toward amaa and to achieved my dreams. I have to stay away from her. This is good things to do for both of us. I'm sorry Divya, please give me some more times for me to finished everything. After that, I all your's.
I was in my office cabin to look over some files to revised the documents. I heard my door knocking sound and asked them to come inside while still reading my files. Without looked up, I know who is this.
It was already evening, so she coming to give me a coffee. She kept the coffee on my table and cleared her throat to grab my attention. I just nodded that I will drink later.
I heard her sighed. She was turn to go back but her hand accidentally push the coffe cup and the coffee were fall in her hand.
But that idiot ignore her burnt hand and started to inspect my hands for any burnt as my hand also place near to coffee cup. She sighed in relief as she couldn't find anything.
She hissed in pain after realised it's her who got hurt. I just sighed looking at her clumsiness and touched for her caring gestures to look at me first.
She tried to walk out but I pull her towards me. Due to my big force, she fall on me. We were standing so close to each other by looking at each other eyes deeply.
I just staring at her lips, trying to not kiss them. Running my thumb over her lips slowly. I lean forward to kiss her unable to control myself anymore. I press my body against her more closely to me.
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I cupped her face in my hands and also raise her chin. Our nose were touching. I leaned down to her and kissed her. Pressing our foreheads together while kissing her passionately.
I furrow my eyebrows as I felt she kissing me back by imitating my gesture. I can tell her hesitate and inexperienced kissing skills. It's make me more crazy for her.
I slide my hand into her soft hair slowly. Running my hand through her soft hair and to down until her back. She hold my shirt tightly as we devouring each other. She moan between the kiss while we holding each other very closely. Her moan attract me towards her and make me to kissed her more deeply.
I can feel our entire body were so freezing and hot at same time and wanted more as we both love to kiss each other. I realise that I shouldn't do this and pull back to stop myself.
I staring at her eyes and her lips and utter the most hard words to come out from my mouth. "We shouldn't do this, It is mistake". I said without looking her eyes. My voice sounds very hoarse after the kiss.
Divya still haven't open her eyes after kiss, widen her eyes after hear my words. She look so hurt and pain.
I do hurt myself for hurting her. Everytime I saw the pain her eyes because of me. My heart were crushing into millions. I didn't regret kissing you, Divya.
Moreover, I love to kiss you and feel you in me. I wanted to do again and again. That's why I have to stop this. I couldn't control myself anymore when you standing so close with me. My brain were shutting by itself and I couldn't think rationally.
You tell me I'm always being mean and harsh to you but today I also felt the same when you said I didn't love you and regret kissing you.
You really have no idea Divya, what you doing to me. I really wanted to shout that I love to kiss you than it's was mistake. Did you think it's easy for me to say all the words that I never meant to say.
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I felt the same as you Divya and I'm not a robot to not feeling anything. But I couldn't express myself like you.
I have to hold myself until everything is over. I couldn't concentrate on anything when you are with me because it's only focus on you. This the reason I need to push you away from me.
I know I'm being cowards when coming to you. But please give me more time. I promise, I will make everything end as soon as possible. I will make you the most happiest girl. Until then bear with me. Even though I didn't do anything in our relationship just receive all your love but my selfishness wanted you be my side forever.
Arjun pull me so harsh that makes me stumble into him. I raise my head to look at him and saw he already looking at me very keenly.
He lean to me while keep his gaze on my lips. He keep running his thumb on my lips. I didn't know what he was trying to do but his act drive me insanely. I can feel his heavy breathing on my skin and my body start shaking.
When he finally kiss me, I forget everything. The time, my name, space and just everything. Nothing is matter to me except him. I feel like exploding, melting away, moaning against the kiss, dying and I can hear fireworks in my brains.
It was my first kiss and I don't how to kiss. I just follow his gestures and what my body wanted me to do. My heart is thumping under him and I was lost in his kiss and in cloud nine. This feel amazing and I feel safe in his arm. This would be the best moment in my life and never wanted to forget this.
But all my happiness disappear in the air and replace it with pain, hurt, sad and dissapointed when I heard him.
I thought he kissed me because he like me. Probably he not love me yet but I can feel him when he kiss me. The way he kissed me. I can feel it, it's certainly not because of lust. It's something different which I can't name it. It's feel wonderful and amazing.
Did he just said it was mistake?. How can you mistakenly kiss someone with that much feelings?. I know he didn't mean it because I trust what I feel.
But still it's hurt me a lot when he say its mistake. I won't let his words to ruin my best moments. So I said "Its ok if it was mistake from you but it's real to me. Thank you for the wonderful kiss. I was so happy with the way you kiss me. I didn't know it's feel so marvellous to kissed someone by mistake. It's feel so loveable even though it's wasn't love from you. Let me just feel happy with this although I know you regret kissing me and you didn't feel the same as me. Ok bye, I want to go".
I went out from his cabin and to my desk. Why Arjun lying to me?. I saw the pain in his eyes when I said the words regret. Why he push me away?. I can feel something is bothering him.
I feel so happy not only because of the kiss but today I clearly see that Arjun do like me. Arjun won't let anyone touch him but he kiss me and said it was mistake by not looking at my eyes. I will let you this time.
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Tales From the Terran Republic
We tried, you know… We really did. We tried so hard to be… better… We actually were better once. No, seriously. We were enlightened, generous, peaceful… Stop laughing! We were! We were peaceful, dammit! No, I’m not “tugging your winglets.” It’s true! Look, if you’re going to be like that, I’ll just push the launch button right now. See ya, don’t wanna be… Oh, you ARE interested after all? Ok. Hey, I just got word that your captain will be ok. We were able to get him into a med pod quick enough… Of course, we tried to save him. Just what sort of people do you think we are?... Now that was harsh… completely accurate, mind you… but harsh. Anyway, like I was saying, we were a prosperous, peaceful people, and war had been nothing but a distant memory for over five hundred years before it happened... Before Yellowstone happened! You don’t mean to tell me that you didn’t know about that… massive supervolcano? Blew the Hell out of our planet? Two years where nothing grew?… Anyway, that’s what started it, the Sol Wars… Oh, you have heard about those, huh? Well, needless to say, all that enlightened, generous, and peaceful didn’t exactly make it through the two years of complete famine and the wars that followed… Maybe it’s more accurate to say the enlightened, generous, and peaceful among us didn’t survive… (laughs)… You’re right. It does explain a lot, doesn’t it? Probably for the best, though. “Enlightened” and “peaceful” aren’t really all that useful out here in the galaxy at large, are they? That reminds me; thanks for the ship. You guys did a great job with this one. Oh, don’t be like that. At least it was us what got you and not one of the really messed groups like the Harlequin or the Black Angels. We’re just going to take your shit. It could be worse… trust me... Well, anyway, we loaded the life pods down with some good food, and you guys can drink alcohol, right? We put in a couple of fifths in there, too. It’s about forty percent ethanol, so be warned. Most species will want to dilute that. We’ll drop your wounded off somewhere safe once they are stable. Your fleet patrols this area fairly regularly, and we’ll drop the distress beacon right before we jump… Well, It’s been fun and no hard feelings, right?… Oh, you want to know some more? Sure. I got time to kill… Let me tell you about this one pirate and her crew. They’re Terran scum, but they are still… Why do we hate the Terrans? Hoo Boy… How much time you got? *** It’s the thirty-second century, and humanity is now part of a galactic civilization comprised of hundreds of worlds. Humanity has been savaged by natural disaster and war and has been fractured into several separate populations, all of which loathe each other (some things never change). This is a gritty drama-driven rambling tale that swings between action, drama, horror, and plenty of very, very dark comedy. Warning: contains adult situations, absolutely horrible language, bathroom humor, implied ultra-violence, actual ultra-violence, drugs, alcohol, pirates, mercs, xeno prostitutes, moral ambiguity, deranged AI's with identity issues, giant commie space slugs, and a poor little frog girl who just wants to sell coffee. Updates twice weekly on Tuesday and Friday. *** Note: This story can get rough. Those warning tags? They aren't for show. I recently received a review and as a result I want to make one thing clear. Portraying something is NOT endorsing it! Many "heavy" topics are touched upon and just because a character says or does something does not imply that the author feels the same way. I selected the "Anti-Hero Lead" and "Villainous Lead" tags for a reason. Rule number one of this story is "no good guys". A good description of the story is, "bad people doing bad things to worse people". There are a few good characters, here and there, but they are the exception to the rule. If you want a hard-hitting, exciting, gritty sci-fi story that doesn't pull any punches, or shies away from "difficult" concepts, welcome! If you are set on a pure and noble knight that runs around and slays conveniently evil monsters and rescues totally innocent princesses... or your sensibilities are easily offended... You're not going to be happy with this one.
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