He was hesitating the next day when stood in front of the closed door to Keiji's room.

It was evening already, since school had lasted till noon today and exams were coming up too. Most of the time while studying he kept staring at the wall though, thinking about Keiji and the events of the past weeks. He longed to be with him, yet it took him a huge amount of courage to knock on the door and open it.

He walked into the dimly lit room then, softly closing the door behind himself.

Keiji was lying on his back, eyes closed and the only noise came from his hoarse breathing and the quiet beeping of his heart monitor. He looked even paler than usually, and a part of Koutarou wanted to turn on his heels and just run away, never coming back again.

He hated himself for that thought.

Koutarou sat down on the chair, yet didn't dare saying a word, above all reaching for his hand to hold it for giving support. Nervousness was piling up in his stomach.

"I was afraid you wouldn't come..." a silent whisper filled the tense air.

Koutarou bit his lip, holding back a sob.

He didn't deserve that boy.

"Where's your mom?"

The other boy only huffed.

"Probably arguing with a bunch of doctors... like always..."

It went silent for a while.

"I want to apologize to you.... about yesterday."

Keiji finally opened his eyes and his gaze travelled over the silver haired teen, whose eyes were widening in an instant.

"You don't have to!" He called out and shook his head frantically, before lowering his head in guilt. "It... it's me who has to apologize... for leaving just like that."

After a few moments of silence, he felt cold fingertips touching back of his own hand.

"I'm glad that you came to visit me today, Bokuto-san"

When Koutarou looked up at that, he was confronted with the saddest little smile he could imagine.

Tears started to sting in his eyes and he quickly rubbed them away with his sleeve. With his other hand he finally took Keiji's in his and clasped at it desperately.

"Me too."

And finally, Koutarou understood.

Why he didn't want to come here in the first place. Why he was scared. It's the same reason hy his parents, Keiji's mother, the nurse... even Tetsu... why nobody of them wanted him to get too close to Keiji.

This boy was dying.

He was dying and yet Koutarou couldn't help but fall in love with Keiji each day more.

And it was terrifying, because he was about to lose him forever.