I fall asleep on Max, something similar about the way I lay on him.

Even in my sleep I can feel him playing with my hair and running his finger across my forehead.

But soon the slumber is so overwhelming, I feel like I am floating on a cloud.

That is when it happens. Bit's and pieces of the games flying at me with extreme detail.

I begin to panic in my sleep.

I can smell a mixture of smoke, blood and saltwater. I can feel the soft ash like a cushion under my feet. And I can feel my pulse rise as I look the dead girl in her eyes. Something about her is comforting, but not comforting enough to erase the feeling of horror from my brain. That is when they attack. Orange monkeys each as big as my torso, at first they look harmless but soon bare their sharp teeth and begin pouncing on us with immense strength. We fight. We? Yes. Max, I and Jonny. I shoot arrow after arrow, and when I think we are winning it hits me, claws digging into my flesh one by one. I scream as an orangutan bites my shoulder. But that is it. No other memories attack me.

I wake up screaming.

Max hugs me instantly.

"What was it?" He says once I stop shaking.

"The orangutans." I say calmly feeling my fingers over the scar on my shoulder.

************************************************************************************************************************

Almost a year has passed since the night Max held me tight as I tried not to remember the vicious beings that killed an innocent child.

Each day Max comes and tells me more about me, but still they only feel like stories.

No matter how hard he kisses me or makes me say phrases. I still cannot remember.

It drove mother insane again, and it sent my father into a deep depression. So now both of them are living above me in the mental section of the hospital.

As for Dare, he spends his days with Max, reading books I the library or learning to use a bow and arrow properly.

My doctors have given me a small amount of freedom, allowing me to rome through the secure and protected parts of thirteen as I please. And whenever I am reminded of the monkeys, they make me repeat a simple phrase I my head over and over.

"Think happy thoughts."

Often I try, but it doesn't work.

Molly's mother visited once or twice, but once she began crying, I couldn't handle it. I was thrown into panic and couldn't control myself from almost strangling Ms. Snow. No one but Max, Dare and Haymitch have visited me since.

Haymitch told me that Molly's parents broke up after the rebellion began because if it weren't for her father Molly would have never been placed in the games. And Max told me that her mother was actually for the rebellion.

I often sit alone in my hospital room looking out the window. I forced my doctors to move me above ground, told them it helped me remember things, when really it just made things worse, but anything beat being cooped up under ground, month after month.

The only place I ever escape to is the Army Training Room.

"I thought you'd be here." Max's voice echoes through my ears, I shoot an arrow through a dummy and turn to look at him, wiping the tears from my eyes.

"The feeling of power brings peace to my mind." I smile and shoot another arrow.

"I haven't seen you this way since the games."

"Would you shut up about the games! I am not going to remember ever. The Rosie you loved is lost forever." I say keeping my eyes away from Max's.

"The Rosie I loved is you."

"The last thing I want to do is hurt someone I love, and Max if you can't read the situation that someone is you." I turn and look him straight in the eye.

"Rosie drop the tough girl act already, everyone knows you are on the brink of insanity." He snaps.

"Like mother, like daughter aye Max?"

"Whatever Rosie, I am not here to talk about our love life." He says calmly, "I am here on request."

"Whose request?"

"General Nelsons."

"Who?"

"He is the head of the rebellion, he was one of the main game makers, but was one of us before the games even began." He touches my shoulder, "He wants you to join us."

"Join us?" I shrug his hand off by pulling the string of the bow back.

"The army."

I turn towards hum completely missing the target.

"The army?" I say confused.

"Yes."

"Are you crazy?" I throw my bow to the floor, and walk towards my water bottle.

"No, but he may be. Rosie I know you aren't mentally perfect right now, but with help you will be, eventually. He doesn't necessarily want you to be apart of the army, just the face of it. Like your mother, Rosie, he wants you to be the Mockingjay."

I drop my water bottle.

A question comes to my mind...

Fight or Flight?

I think flight.

In panic, I turn and run.

Throwing the Army Training room doors open harshly and running through people filled halls.

I dodge trays of bread, and arms holding babies, rather well until I hit him.

"Rosie!" The manly voice sounds angry.

"Sorry!" I say blushing.

A stern body hugs me tightly.

"Come on. I know your mom and she makes the same face when she has something on her mind." The reference to my mom helps me realize who the man is that not only hugs me but wraps his arm around me and walks me towards the cafeteria.

Gale.

"My mother. Have you seen her lately?" I ask trying to keep my mind off all the problems that have happened the past few months, including the ones I struggle to remember.

"Yeah." Gale hands the door guards his card.

"Wait? You are taking me outside? I thought I wasn't allowed to go out there."

"It helps to be a general."

"General?"

"Yeah, I don't know why Max didn't tell you." He says escorting me off grounds.

"He has a lot on his mind, I guess." I say quietly.

I stay quiet until we are in the woods.

Gale tosses me a bow and a sheath of arrows, I catch them both in mid air.

We hunt for about an hour or two before either one of us speaks again.

"You know Rosie. Your father went through something like this... I remember it ruining your mother. She was young then and things weren't as permanent, what I am trying to say is..." He stops and sits down on a near by rock, "Rosie she isn't doing well. It is worse then it was when she lost your dad."

"I kind of guessed that after dad got admitted too." I stare at a leaf.

"Rosie. I was talking with her and she mentioned something I had never heard her mention, or at least since you were born," He says calmly, "Rosie she said that you needed extra protection."

"I don't need any protection. I can protect myself." I say irritated at their foolishness, "There are people here, innocent people. They need protection." I say looking Gale straight in the eye, "People who have never killed people."

He looks confused.

"Gale. Don't act like you didn't watch me shoot an arrow through an innocent girls heart."

"Stella was anything but innocent."

"Still Gale I killed her." I say trying very hard not to cry, "And the worst part is, I can't even remember it."

"Sometimes it is better not to remember."

"Not for me it isn't."