Valeria woke me up the next day to prepare me for the final interviews. After a terrifying ordeal in the lift, I was taken to be prepared for the interviews. Apparently, they’d had to postpone my interview an extra day due to the amount of treatment I had, and to suit the lifestyles of the viewers. And so, the show was scheduled for mid-afternoon.

I had a horrifying sense of déjà vu as I sat obediently in on the tenth floor dressing rooms and allowed Sophia and her team to work on me. They acted as they normally would, Felix and Annabella chatting away, Leonie working quietly with her nimble fingers and Sophia overseeing the situation. Yet I had changed a lot since last I’d seen them. I had killed people. I’d lost my best friend. I’d become a monster and lost my identity. I was a new person entirely.

I shut my eyes at Leonie’s request, and allowed her to brush eye shadow over my lids.

“I’m giving you dark makeup to match your dress. We thought black was best…it’s a mourning colour,” Leonie told me softly, checking my makeup was in order.

“Thank you,” I whispered back. She smiled sadly and squeezed my hand.

I stood up then to allow the stylists to fit my dress. Sticking with the leather theme, a bodice had been fitted which fitted loosely on my frail frame. The skirt, however, was made of black feathers down to my knees, which stroked my bare legs comfortingly. I smiled weakly, spreading my arms like wings.

“I’m a raven,” I said. I saw Sophia rest her hands on my shoulders in the mirror. Her grip was firm, but comforting and I resisted the urge to burst into tears.

“Do you like it?” she asked.

“I love it,” I said truthfully. I just wished I was wearing it for a different reason.

“Logan would have liked it too,” I said.

“I think so too,” Leonie agreed, coming over to hug me.

“Deep breaths,” she told me, “Not long to go.” I nodded against her shoulder. I’d be home soon. But what did that mean for me? A marriage to a man I didn’t love. A house too big for a small person. All sense of normality lost. I couldn’t bear to think of it.

I pulled away and took one last look in the mirror. Beside me, I saw him. Logan. He smiled, and gently brushed my styled curls behind my ears. I smiled back, knowing he was with me again at last. Clementia had done as I’d asked.

He followed me to underneath the stage, where a silver cylinder stood to carry me on stage. I fidgeted whilst I waited for the rest of my team to arrive. Drew came over to me and squeezed my hand comfortingly. His palms were sweaty and I reminded myself that he was probably nervous too.

A call from the stage manager told me there was two minutes before the show began. Everyone left to assume their positions, and I stepped on the metal plate. Memories from the start of the Games flashed into my mind, followed by a spiralling montage of terror. My breathing rapidly increased, and I began to hyperventilate. I turned to run, and saw my supposedly dead friends clustered around me. Clementia. Kai. Even Avery was there. And Logan.

“I’m scared,” I admitted quietly, shrinking back into myself. Logan pressed a finger to his lips silently, before stepping forward and kissing my forehead so softly I didn’t feel it. I could hear the Panem anthem playing, and the applause as my prep team and Sophia took to the stage. I sighed as Logan gave me a reassuring smile.

“We’ll be with you,” he whispered. I wasn’t sure he said it at all, his lips barely moving and his voice mostly lost in the applause, but it helped me even so. The cheering told me that it was almost time to go on stage. Eli, Valeria and Drew would have just left the stage. The plate erupted beneath my feet, and I began to rise. A rumble of approval came from the crowd as I raised my eye line from the floor shyly. I couldn’t see, but I was sure there was a standing ovation. I waved blindly to give myself something to do, and out of the corner of my eye, I saw Venus and clapping whilst approaching me. She put an arm around me, beaming.

“Miss Raven Verona! Welcome home! Would you just listen to that crowd? They’re wild!”

This statement aroused a second wave of cheering. Whilst they continued, Venus allowed me to shuffle over to my victor’s chair. It was a relief to be sat down, and I managed a smile.

“It’s good to see that smile again!” Venus said when the audience calmed down “I must say, the last time we saw you, you were in a bit of a mess. How are you feeling?”

“It could be worse,” I said in a tone which I hoped was bright. It received a few laughs and I relaxed slightly.

“Now, as everyone already knows, today we’ll be watching the highlights. But obviously you’ve had a pretty tough time. What is the best thing about being out the arena?”

I searched for something to say. Logan sat at my feet, and he looked at me meaningfully. Inspired, I answered.

“The best thing will be going home to Eddie,” I said, twisting the ring on my finger “But the worst…the worst is losing my best friend.”

The spectators actually sighed. I downcast my eyes to prevent my emotions getting the better of me. Venus gave a sympathetic nod.

“It’s such a shame. A nice boy as well. But I have to say, I’m very glad you’re with us today. Without further ado, on to the show!”

The lights on the stage dimmed and all eyes focused on the screen. There was a short introduction from a woman with a whiny voice, and while she spoke, a headshot of each tribute was taken. As the video continued, a clear theme was set in stone. It was all about me and Roger. Barely anything was shown of any of the tributes unless they interacted with me or Roger. The video began by quickly showing the reapings of the Careers, Clementia, and Logan and I. The video had to be condensed into three hours, and though the Games themselves weren’t as long as usual, they had been action packed, and the audience didn’t want to miss anything important. The strength Roger and I in our reapings was clearly shown through our manner. I watched my face on the screen, blank of emotion. Until Logan’s name was called, and my mask slipped a little. If anyone had noticed, it wasn’t obvious. At my feet, Logan smiled at the thought of him being my only weakness. I scowled at him, but he didn’t react.

Of course, a replay of the chariot ride put the crowd in awe again. With Roger dazzling the audience, and my smouldering charm, we were the perfect enemy couple. I couldn’t stand the way they had manipulated it to look like it was just Roger and I in the Games, but I supposed that was how it worked. The others were no longer important. Entertainment was the first priority.

Both receiving tens for our training scores and having exceptional interviews, we were presented as the ones to beat. Our snide relationship in our interviews was somewhat amusing to the Capitol citizen, and they even leaked footage of our first meeting to appease the audience. I hadn’t realised they’d been filming us before the chariot ride, but it didn’t really surprise me.

The rest of the tape focused on the Games. At the start, the bloodbath was shown, and then the screen split into four to see individual battles in the tunnels. Roger was in one tunnel, I was in another with Logan, and Layla’s death was replayed. The rest passed in a blur, other than when an important death was shown. In other words, when I killed someone or lost a friend. Logan’s death was horrible to watch. Before my eyes, I had to watch Logan writhe in pain as he faced his death. Obviously, they didn’t actually show him die, but the minute I exited the tent, every breath in the room held. The whole thing was played, and I saw my life changing moment from an outsider’s view. I was fearsome. I was powerful. I was a victor.

The final showdown between Roger, Avery and I terrified me to watch. I sought comfort in Logan’s presence, but he was gone. Was he ever there in the first place? I shut my eyes for the remainder of the gory video, and only opened them again when I was certain it was over. A long thank you was said by Venus and I waved as I was let off the stage. I ended up having to return due to the uncontrollable crowd, who couldn’t bear to see me go. Venus good-naturedly reminded them that they would see me in another interview the next day. She kissed my cheek, and I ran back off stage.

Drew quickly pulled me aside as soon as I got off stage, urgently shaking my arm “Raven, I have something for you. The Mayor sent it for you in hope that you might be comforted by it.”

Confused, I allowed Drew to lead me to the lounging area back on the tenth floor, and he slipped a tape into the television, before leaving me in peace. I sank back in my chair anxiously, unsure what to expect. It crackled slightly, as though there was a bad reception, and suddenly, the Mayor’s face appeared on the screen, his nose pressed close to the camera lens and his moustache looking rather comical. I giggled, wondering what the video was.

“Is it on?” the Mayor asked loudly.

“Yes, I think it is!” my father replied. I couldn’t see him, but I’d recognize his voice anywhere.

“Hello!” the Mayor said “This is for you, Logan and Raven! Maybe you’ll watch it back some day and find it as entertaining as I probably will.” A rustling could be heard, and the camera was turned upside down.

“Here, let me-”

“I can do it, it’s fine!” the Mayor said sharply. The camera zoomed in on Logan and I, probably only three or four years of age, sitting on a swinging bench in the Golding’s back garden. We were holding hands, and I immediately clamped my hand to my mouth, tears forming.

“Say hello!”

“Iyya!” Logan said with a lisp, fidgeting in a boyish manner. I said nothing, just sat there staring blankly at the camera.

“Say hello, Raven!”

Not a word could be coaxed from my mouth, but Logan seemed content with me at his side. I yearned for him as I watched, clasping my hands together to keep from fiddling with my dress.

“How about a kiss on the cheek for Raven, Logan?” the Mayor joked. Cheekily, Logan grinned and kissed my cheek lightly. I began to cry and stormed off, but it made seventeen year old me smile. The video crackled and more clips began to play, and I settled down to watch them. That day, I fell asleep watching the ghosts of my past come back to my life, and for not the first time, Logan Golding haunted my dreams.