《Looed and Lost You 》_Chapter Forty-Four: Hurts like Hell_
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Why? Why had God let this happen? Why is my life so full of death? Why, if I'm some kind of superpowered demon, could I not stop it?
"Cansas. Come on. She's letting you go." Sam said trying to pull me off of Gabriel's dead body. I shook my head as more tears came to my eyes. "No...I can't leave him here...I-I can't-"
"Do you think Gabriel would want you to stay here Cansas? No. I don't think he would have. Come on." Sam finally pulled me away from his body and he stood me up. "I-I can f-find my way out," I said pulling away from Sam.
"Are you sure Cansas?" I nodded. I looked back at Gabrielle before rubbing his cheek. As I kissed him on the cheek I let out a tiny sob. "I-I'm s-so s-sorry." I then walked away slowly. Dean walked down the hall. He had gone out to let the humans go. When he came up to me I could see he had a look of anger on his face.
"He's not dead." I froze.
"W-What?"
"He's in my car. He's not dead." My heart started to piece back together. A smile came to my face and I let out a relieved chuckle. Dean walked past me and back into the conference room were Kali and Baldur were talking to Sam. When he walked in I walked down the hall a bit only to stop when the lights started to flicker.
"Holy crap..." I said knowing what that meant. Lucifer was here. Screams could be heard around the corner and I froze. Oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no.
The screams stopped and everything was quiet. Part of my brain shouted at me to run. To disappeared. To go to Gabriel and leave. But the other part told me to stay and fight. That was the original plan, wasn't it? To ice the devil.
The sound of heavy footsteps was heard rounding the corner and there he was. The Devil, Satan, Lucifer. He was cover in the god's blood. He had blonde hair and icy blue eyes. His skin was pale and ripping.
"Cansas." A shiver ran down my spine when he spoke. "I've heard so much about you."
"Ditto," I said trying not to show the fear in my voice.
"All good things I hope." I didn't respond. I didn't know how to respond to the devil. "Anyway. I just wanted to say my condolences. It must be awful losing a child like that." My blood boiled but my heart froze. "I wish I could have met her. Now I would have been a cool Uncle."
"Shut up." I hissed.
"What." He said calmly.
"I'm going to kill you," I said simply. I didn't want to talk to Satan about my feelings anymore.
"Are you now? But things were going great between us." I clenched my fist and the motel started to shake.
"Neat. But I can do better." The ground started to shake more violently. The ground broke open and the break started to race towards me. I backed up but it didn't stop. The floorboards busted up and threw me up at, flinging me off the ground and through the air. I landed hard on my back which knocked the wind out of me.
Lucifer walked over and picked me up by the collar of my shirt. My eyes flicked into black and blue and I placed a hand on his arm. His bone broke into a thousand pieces and he let me go. I fell to my feet and clenched both my hands. Winds rushed around him fast but it did nothing to him.
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"That hurt." He said as his arm healed. I moved my hands to the side and parts of the broken floor flew towards him. They embedded themselves in his body but he didn't even seem to notice them. He pulled the wood out and he healed.
My eyes widened as he walked back over to me and grabbed my arm. Pain shot through my body and I shouted. I fell to my knees but Lucifer only pulled me back up. I lowered my head before looking back up into his eyes.
"Do it already. Kill me." I said hissing in pain when he tightened his grip on my arm.
"I'm not going to kill you. No." He ran a hand over my cheek. "No. I need you. You're going to help me win." I shook my head and he nodded his. "Yes, you are. You want to know why you are?" He was quiet for a moment as if waiting for an answer. "Because then I won't kill everyone you love. Sam, Dean, Bobby, Balthazar, your sisters. I won't kill them. Hurt them. Maybe. Kill. No. So you're going to help me or they are going to die."
"W-what do you want from me?"
"I can't tell you to now. Once Sam's my vessel then I'll come and get you. I just wanted to tell you that you're important to the story as well. Come now. Let's go to them, shall we?" He pulled me back down the hallway.
"We can't." I heard Baldur say as we walked into the room.
"Of course you can't. You didn't say 'mother may I?' Sam, Dean. Good to see you again." Sam and Dean looked from Lucifer to me. Baldur then started to walk forward.
"Baldur...don't."
"You think you own the planet? What gives you the right?!" Baldur then walked towards Lucifer but before he could attack, Lucifer drove his hand into Baldur's chest. Blood sprayed on me and I looked away from the dying god.
"No one gives us the right. We take it." Lucifer then pulled his hand out of Baldur's chest and he fell to the ground.
"We'll talk later, Princess," Lucifer said before shoving me over to the Winchesters. I landed on the ground and Dean helped me up. Kali's arms then lit on fire. She pointed it at him and fire spit at him. Sam, Dean, and I jumped over the table and took cover from the fire.
"Are you both okay?" Sam asked us.
"Not really." We all looked over to see Gabriel sitting there. "Better late than never, huh?" My face lit up and I jumped over Dean to attack him in a hug. He hugged me back. "Candy Cane. I'm so sorry."
"No. It's okay. I don't care. You're here now." We pulled apart and Gabriel kissed me on the forehead. He looked over at Dean and handed him a DVD. I looked closer to see it was a porno. I narrowed my eyes at him.
"Guard this with your life." He looked back down at me. "I love you." And then he ducked out from behind the table. "No! Gabriel!" I said going to get up but Dean stopped me. We heard someone slam into a wall and we all looked over the table to see Lucifer getting up.
"Lucy. I'm home." Lucifer started to walk over to Gabriel arms open as if expecting a hug but Gabriel held his blade up.
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"Not this time." He then helped Kali up. "Guys. Get them out of here." We all stood up and started to walk over to Gabriel. When I got to him I held onto his jacket as he walked around Lucifer until the door was behind us.
Dean started to tug on my arm but I shook my head. "No. No, Gabriel, I'm not leaving you." Gabriel looked to me and then back to his brother. "Cansas go."
"No, Gabriel. I'm leaving with you."
"Cansas come on," Dean said trying to pull me away. I pulled my arm away.
"No!" Gabriel turned to me with seriousness in his eyes.
"Candy Cane. You need to go." He looked over to his brother who watched this. Tears formed in my eyes as I looked at him. "I-I can't lose you, Angel. I love you so much." Gabriel kissed me quickly.
"I know." He said before pushing me towards Dean who wrapped his arms around me.
"That was the most romantic thing I have seen in all my years," Lucifer said making Gabriel turned back to his brother. Dean lifted my flailing self and started to pull me out of the room. "No! Dean let go!" I said but it didn't work.
"It's gonna be alright, Cansas. Everything's going to work out." When we made it to the lobby Sam and Kali were waiting there for us. That's when I shimmied out of Dean's grip and started to run back but before I could Sam tackled me.
"Cansas, no! You'll die." He then pulled me out of the motel.
"Lucifer going to kill him! I can't lose him!" I said suddenly remembering I had demon powers. So I used them to disappear out of Sam's arms and reappearing next to him.
"Just go. Please. If he's going to die tonight then I plan on dying right beside him." I said tears falling down my cheeks. Sam and Dean looked at each other before looking back at me.
"You better keep that son of a bitch alive then." Before they could get in the car I stopped them.
"Wait. I need you to call this number." I handed Sam my phone which was open to Balthazar's number. "Tell him who you are, don't ask names just tell him what's happening. Tell him to bring back up." He nodded and got in the car. I watched them drive out of the parking lot before I ran back to the motel.
I pulled Cathetel's angel blade out even though I knew it wasn't going to do anything against an Archangel. I disappeared and reappeared behind the table Sam, Dean and I had hidden behind. I could hear them talking so I blocked it out. I looked over the table to see Lucifer's back was to me. Good. I quietly crawled under the table until I was behind Lucifer.
I rolled out from under the table and stabbed him the back. Lucifer grunted and stepped forward a bit. I let go of the blade but before I could make a run for it Lucifer grabbed me.
"Ow." He growled in my ear. He held me still and I was faced with Gabriel. Lucifer pulled the blade out from his back. "Cathetel. Oh yes. Rit Zien right? I guess that couldn't save her though." He then snapped the blade in half with only one hand. Anger rose in my chest and I struggled against him.
"Ah, ah, ah. That's not working with me is it?" He said holding me tighter.
"Lucifer let her go, now," Gabriel said with narrowed eyes. Lucifer shrugged.
"Sure." He let me go but before I could do anything I was flung onto the wall and bond there. When I hit the wall the air was knocked out of me. "Holy-" I croaked out. "Is this abomination apart of the humanity you support so much Gabriel? Because let me tell you she's far from it. How many angels has she killed so far? Demons? Humans? Because if this is what you're fighting for Gabriel, you might want to rethink this whole 'dying for my cause' thing." I struggled against the invisible restraints.
"Cansas isn't an abomination. She may have her flaws but who doesn't? In my opinion, she is the best of all the humans. The best of all the demons you made. Because she's willing to fight for what is right. I'm making my stand because of her." He looked over at me before looking back at his brother. I looked back at Lucifer to see another Gabriel sneaking his way behind him.
"I know you might think you're doing the right things, Gabriel. But I know where your heart truly lies." My eyes widened at this. He knew. The Gabriel behind him went to bring the blade down but Lucifer turned around fast. He took the blade and shoved it into his brother's stomach.
"Here."
"NO!" I shouted struggled harder. No, no, NO! Not again! I couldn't let this happen again. The Gabriel by the door disappeared.
"Amateur hocus-pocus. Don't forget-You learned all your tricks from me, little brother."
"Please! NO!" I shouted trying to stall a little longer. Just long enough for Balthazar and back up to get here. But Lucifer wasn't listening and back up wasn't coming anytime soon. Lucifer shoved the blade upwards and blue light streamed out of Gabriel's eyes and mouth.
"NO!"
Lucifer let go of his brother and Gabriel fell to the ground. Forever sleeping. His once beautiful golden-brown wings were burned into the ground behind him. The invisible restraints were let go and I fell to the ground. I got up and ran over tripping a couple of times. I carefully stepped over his burned wings and stood next to him. I didn't care that the devil stood behind me at the moment. All I cared about was how my heart was slowing ripping apart.
"G-Gabriel..." I said before falling to my knees. I shakily pulled his angel blade out his stomach and placed it on the ground. My hands instantly covered in his blood. "Oh-oh baby...no," I said tears coming to my eyes. Picking him up gently I cradled him in my arms.
"A-Angel...I'm so sorry..." I buried my head in his neck and started to cry softly. But my crying became louder and louder as it sunk in. He wasn't coming back. Not this time. Anger rose my chest making the building shake. I looked over to Lucifer who watched the scene before him. "Y-You said you wouldn't kill him..."
"I never said his name." I let out a sob and held my angel tighter. Parts of the building fell and broke. The sound of flapping wings was heard and Balthazar appeared with a few other angels behind him.
"Oh, father, No." He said seeing Gabriel.
"Balthazar...It's him." One of the angels said from behind me. Balthazar looked up to see Lucifer.
"Balthazar. How have you been?" Balthazar didn't say anything.
"Now his name I did say. I should be going. I've had my fill of death for the day." Before he could go anywhere I picked Gabriel's blade and up ran at him. Red was all I could see. I took a swing at him but he disappeared in the sound of flapping wings.
"Get back here!" I shouted but I knew it wouldn't help. Balthazar came over and wrapped his arms around me. "No! I'm going to kill him!" He made me drop Gabriel's blade as I struggled.
"You all may go," Balthazar said to the angels. They all nodded and left. I pushed him away and I looked back to Gabriel's empty vessel. I didn't know what I'd do. I fell back to my knees and cradled him in my arms.
"Cansas..." I didn't look up at him. He knelt down next to me and placed a hand on my shoulder.
"W-why?" I asked looking at him.
"I-I don't know dear...I don't know." I looked back at my angel and ran a hand through his hair. We stayed like that for hours. The building started to turn into an abandoned one once again.
"Cansas. Where do you want to go?" I didn't know...All I wanted to do right now was die.
"D-do you want to go home?" I shook my head.
"I-I can't go back there." Balthazar nodded.
"What would you like to do with Gabriel?" I was quite.
"I want to salt and burn him," I said making more tears form.
"Alright. That's fine..." I took in all of Gabriel's features, hoping I would never forget them before I stood up.
"C-Could you do it f-for me?" Balthazar gave a short nod. "Thank you..." And with that, I disappeared to the only place I knew I wouldn't be questioned as much. I reappeared in a hotel room. This wasn't where I wanted to be...unless-
"Hello, dove. What brings you here?" Crowley sat on a white cushioned couch drinking a glass of scotch.
"None of your business." I hissed making him hold his hands up in defense.
"Well, if you're staying there's leftover-" I cut him off by walking into the bedroom and slamming the door shut. It wasn't as big as I thought it would be but I didn't really care. I slide down the door until I was sitting on the floor. Tears blinded my vision as I let my emotions wash over me. He was gone...and there was no saving him.
Later the next day I sat in the kitchen drinking several beers. I had found out why Crowley was staying here. He is 'living under a rock' as he likes to put it. A nest of demons burned his mansion down and a few ate his tailor but that wasn't important. My phone started to ring and I saw it was Dean. I picked it up and my finger hung over the answer button. A few minutes later I pressed it and held the phone up to my ear.
"Cansas? Cansas where are you?" I took another sip of my drink.
"Not important. Why are you calling?"
"Because I'm worried about you." I let out a huff.
"Thanks but I'm fine."
"No your not. Cansas, we know Gabriels dead. He left a video." I went silent. A video? "He left you a message. We didn't watch it so don't worry. I'll have Sam send it to you and you can do with it what you want." My phone dinged and the video was sent.
"A-Alright...I'm fine okay?" I head Dean sigh from the other side of the line.
"If you say so Cansas. Just call if you need anything." And then I hung the phone up. Walking into the bedroom I sat on the floor debating whether or not I wanted to watch it. I had to right? Gabriel left me something to watch so I have to. I hesitantly opened the video. Gabriel's face showed up on screen as he started to talk.
"Hey Candy Cane. I hope you don't have to watch this...but if you are...I'm dead." I had to pause the video and take another deep breath. "Come on...y-you c-can pull y-yourself t-together t-to watch this s-stupid v-video." I press play once again.
"And that's okay...I heard I could be turned into a piece of dust." He said with a chuckle that turned into a sad one.
"I just want to say first off, I love you. I love you more than anyone or anything could ever love something. I wish I hadn't run out of you all though years ago. I could have very easily transferred you and your family someplace safer...but I guess...I guess I was scared. And that's a shit excuse. But I never stopped watching over you...It's a little creepy when I say it out loud now." He scratched the back of his head.
"I wish you hadn't fallen for Loki first. But I guess that's bad planning on my part. Anyway...I wish for a lot of things I know I can't change now...and that's okay. Because in the end, I got to be with you again. And Cansas. Please stay stronger. You have to help save this planet. I see why you love it so much now...because you have people you love here. That's why I stood up to my brother today. Because I was standing for the one I love. Candy Cane...I love you so, so much and I hope one day you can forgive me. Stay strong. If not for me then for Balthazar. Even for Sam and Dean." He said with an eye roll. He smiled weakly and was quiet for a minute.
"I loved you so much."
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