《Looed and Lost You 》_Chapter Thirty: Behind blue eyes_
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Monster.
I sat in my bathtub in the dark.
Monsters live in the dark.
I pulled my knees up to my naked chest and placed my head on top of them. My wet hair stuck to the back of my neck. My eyes stung from the tears I had shed a few minutes ago. I stared into the murky water and saw my reflection. Black with a ring blue eyes stared back at me.
Demons have eyes like mine.
Demons are monsters.
A soft knock was heard on the door.
"Cansas...can I come in?" Gabriel said through the door. I buried my head into my knees. "I-I'm coming in...alright Cansas..." A few seconds later the door opened and closed. He shuffled over slowly and knelt down next to the tub.
Don't cry. Don't start crying again.
Gabriel slowly moved some of my wet hair out of the way of the side of my face. I turned my head away from him. My eyes shut tight.
"Candy Cane...look at me." I squeezed my eyes tighter making a tear escape. I shook my head, telling him no. I couldn't trust my voice right now. Gabriel sighed and rubbed my back.
"Cansas...it's not your fault. We forgive you. Cathetel...Cathetel would forgive you..."
I opened my eyes.
The eyes of a monster.
Tears welled in them as I remembered.
Early that day
"Come on! You love that movie and you know it."
Balthazar crossed his arms over his chest as he got up. "I can't believe you glued me to the couch and made me watch that god awful movie. How badly I want to smite myself is ridiculous."
"I agree with Balthazar. That movie was horrible." I looked over to Cathetel who sat on the floor.
"Cathetel! I thought you said you loved this movie."
"I lied..." She said rubbing her head. Balthazar clapped his hands and pointed at her.
"I knew there was something I liked about you."
"It's Titanic! At least I can tolerate it." Gabriel sat up and wrapped his arms around my me. Balthazar seemed to shudder. "Don't even say its name." I rolled my eyes.
"Hey while your up get some more popcorn, please. You get to choose the next movie." I ate the last few pieces in my bowl and placed it on the coffee table.
"Thank god for that. And because I'm merciful I will get you more popcorn." He turned on his heel and walked into the kitchen. Cathetel got up and took my bowl off the table.
"I'll go help him. Is there anything else you would like?" I shook my head. "No. I'm good." Cathetel then walked into the kitchen.
"I think he secretly loves it," Gabriel said make me chuckle. "Oh yeah." I leaned back and he placed his chin on my head.
"You know, this was a good idea," I said taking hold of his hand. "It was. I don't think I've ever had a bad idea."
"Sure you haven't." I patted his arm. "What's that supposed to mean?" I looked up at him.
"Well...you remember that one time you thought it would be a 'good idea' to throw a bucket of ice on me while I was in the shower? Was that a good idea?"
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Gabriel thought it over. "Maybe...but at least I got to see you in the nude. So there was a perk." I slapped him on the cheek.
"It was a stupid idea." Gabriel shrugged. "You see it your way. I see it mine."
With a chuckle, I kissed him on the cheek. "Gosh, you're intolerable at times."
"Yes, but you tolerate me."
"True." Gabriel smiled down at me as I smiled up at him. He leaned in to kiss me but was stopped when the lights went out. A loud clap of thunder was heard outside. He looked up.
"Hm...what happened there?" I sat up and looked out the window. "Well, it is storming pretty bad out there."
"Yes but I don't think it's the storm dear," Balthazar said walking into the room. Cathetel followed close behind. Gabriel and I got off the couch. "Well then what is it?"
"Angels..." Gabriel said angel blade sliding into his hand. Balthazar and Cathetel copied him. "How did they find us?" I asked looking up at Gabriel.
"Well I found your house...it took longer for them to find you then I thought," Cathetel said looking around the room.
"But you three added warding to the house."
"The warding must have failed...or my brother found us." Gabriel looked down at me. "We need to get out of here now."
"Why in such a rush?" We all looked over to see a man with blonde hair. My eyes narrowed as I recognized the angel. "You."
"Cansas. Been awhile. I thought that collar looked pretty good on you." Gabriel growled and stepped in front of me. The angel smirked.
"Frontlines," Cathetel said making Balthazar's eyes go slightly wider.
"You traitorous little bitch. I'll make sure they kill you first." The angel's blade fell into his hand.
"Gabriel...you're going to have to take the bulk of this one," Balthazar said moving back a bit.
"It's Omael right?" Gabriel asked trying to keep him busy.
"Can I call you Omy?" Omael narrowed his eyes at the archangel.
"Why would I care what you call me. You'll be dead soon enough." The sound of flapping wings was heard around us. I looked around to find more angels standing there. Gabriel did the same thing. Before any of them could move Gabriel wrapped his arms around the three of us and we were gone.
We reappeared in a field. The rain poured down hard soaking us. "Why the hell would you send us here?!" Balthazar asked looked over to Gabriel. "I didn't. Raphael must have knocked us off course." Gabriel growled.
"Grab hold-" Before Gabriel could finish Cathetel and Balthazar were flung to the side. They landed on the ground a few feet away from us. "Balthazar! Cathetel!" I shouted going to go after them but Gabriel grabbed my arm.
"No don't." Just as he said this, angels appeared before them. They grabbed Balthazar and Cathetel holding them at blade point.
"Gabriel." We both looked over to find Elyon standing there. His red hair getting flattened down by the rain. "I see your little abomination is still kicking." Angels appeared behind him and all over the field.
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"I thought we had back up," I whispered to Gabriel.
"You did. But they are in no condition to come help you." A woman with black hair said appearing next to Elyon. She looked behind us over to Cathetel and Balthazar. She waved the two angels holding them over.
The angels holding my friends dragged them over. They roughly shoved them to the muddy ground in front of us. "I see you've made friends with my traitor." The black-haired angel said running a hand over Cathetel's cheek.
"Dephiel-" I recognized the name. Balthazar had said she was the other flock's leader. Cathetel's boss.
"Don't speak!" Dephiel shouted smacking Cathetel in the face. This angered me. "Stop!" I shouted making her chuckle.
"Is this upsetting you?" Dephiel asked walked away from Cathetel. I went to walk up to her but Gabriel held me back.
"Cansas don't," Gabriel said keeping me by his side. Dephiel walked over to Balthazar who held his head high. "You're flock is going to kill you for helping a Cambion." She ran a hand over the back of his shoulders.
"I can't wait to watch." She smirked. Balthazar stayed silent. He kept his eyes looking straight forward.
My breathing became heavy with anger. Dephiel walked back over to Cathetel. An angel blade slipped into her hand.
"Ma'am. I don't think killing her is a good idea. She's a Rit Zien. Shes loyal-" The red-haired angel holding Cathetel said getting cut off.
"Haziel...it's fine," Cathetel said looking at the ground. Haziel looked to Cathetel and then back to her leader.
"Please ma'am...she didn't know what she was doing." Dephiel seemed to think about it.
"Hmm...no." And before any of us could do anything, Dephiel dug her blade into Cathetel's chest.
"NO!" I shouted. Gabriel pulled me back and wrapped his arms around me. Holding me down.
Cathetel's lights went out and she fell to the ground. Haziel fell to her knees next to the blonde angel. Once beautiful brown and blonde wings were burned into the ground were Cathetel had fallen.
"Dephiel?" Elyon said making the black haired angel turn to him.
"Yes, Elyon?" She asked wiping her blade on her black pants.
"Do you think we should wait to kill the other one? Or should we go ahead and kill him?" My eyes widened and I pulled against Gabriel.
"NO! No! You will not kill him!" I used all my strength to pull Gabriel away. All I could see was red.
Elyon and Dephiel's eyes widened. So did Balthazar's and all angels that could see my face. My eyes had turned black, and my irises were glowing blue circles. Dephiel looked over to her business partner but found he was gone as well as his flock.
"That slimy-" She looked back at me.
"It's been fun, but I think I should be on my way." I held my hand up and she froze. I wiggled my finger back and forth.
"No, you don't." The angels in her flock ran over but I stop them from coming any closer to me. Power rose inside my chest and the angels all started to scream in pain.
Balthazar had been let go but he stayed where he knelt. "Cansas-what are you doing?" Gabriel asked looking around at the pained angels. I ignored him and walked up to Dephiel. She tried to muffle her pain but she couldn't hold it for long.
A few angels around us fell to the ground dead. "I'm going to kill you slowly. Painfully slow." I said with a smirk.
"Cansas!" I heard Gabriel shout. He came up behind me and grabbed my shoulder. "Stop this! This is crazy!" I looked over at him and his eyes widened at the sight of my eyes.
"Nope," I said flinging him back. Turning back to Dephiel I increased the burning of her grace. Another few angels fell dead to the ground. Balthazar went to come up to me but I stuck him to the ground.
When I started to get bored of watching her scream in pain I snapped my fingers and the few remaining angels exploded. Blood splattered everywhere. Dephiel's blood covered me head to toe.
It went silent. Not even the crickets were chirping. My demon looking eyes flicker and I stumbled backward.
I looked around at the dead bodies that littered the ground. Looking over I found Gabriel had made his way over to Balthazar and was helping him up. I looked at my hands and made a gagging noise.
"W-what-I-I-" I didn't even know what to say. Something dark had come over me. Something that has been living in my soul for years. Waiting to get out. And what scared me the most...was that some part of me liked it.
"Cansas..." I looked back at the two angels. Gabriel started making his way over to me. Holding my hand up I moved back. "D-don't-I-I don't want to hurt you." Tears came to my demon eyes.
"Cansas don't-"
"I let them kill her. And then I tortured them...I-I'm a monster!" I shouted falling to my knees.
"I'm a monster!"
Present time
"Cansas please look at me," Gabriel said as I let out a sob. I lifted my head and looked at the water that had turned red from the blood I washed off. "Over here Candy..." I sobbed again and looked over at him.
"T-they won't t-turn b-back."
"It's alright...I can help you with that." He said placing two fingers on my forehead. My eyes snapped back to their normal blue color.
"See-all better." I shook my head. He sighed and took hold of my hand. His eyes narrowed when he saw the thin red lines on my arm. Gabriel looked up at me.
"Cansas. Did you..." I looked at my cut arm to see the skin knitting itself back together. Leaving behind more scars.
"This isn't going to help you Cansas..." He said as sob again.
"I-I just want it to end." I pulled my arm away and wrapped it back around my legs. I buried my head in my knees and cried. Gabriel pulled my shaking body into a hug and held me tight.
"I know...I know Cansas..."
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