A favorite of mine SEASON 5 EP 12: 100

••••

Haley sighed as she watched Rachel and Mercedes rush towards the one chair in the front and right in the middle of the room.

"Greet each other." Kurt said, annoyed, as Haley laughed softly.

"Hello, Rachel. I am so happy to hear about all of your success." Mercedes said, plastering a fake smile on her face.

"Oh, thank you so much, Mercedes. And you are looking well." Rachel responded, also wearing a fake smile.

"Thank you. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll make my way to the back of the bus." Mercedes said, moving to sit beside Kurt in the second row.

"100 lessons." Mr. Schue announced, writing 100 on the board and turning to face everyone.

"Hey, can I get Finn's plaque when we clear this place out?" Puck asked.

"No, the plaque stays here. Lillian and Finn belong here at McKinley. It means so much to me that so many of you came back on such short notice to celebrate the past few years. To sit in this room last time and sing. Your assignment is to sing one of the songs we sang in here, but reinvented in some way. Way back in the old days when I started the glee club, I would give an assignment, and then I would... I would give a little demonstration of what I was looking for." Mr. Schue explained, as everyone cheered.

"See, you all cheer now, but just wait till he starts rapping." Santana commented, making everyone laugh.

"Okay, no hip-hop today, Santana. However, I have asked a very special person to come join me. And it seemed appropriate since her contributions helped save the glee club, or at least the auditorium way back when. Please welcome, all the way from Broadway, Miss April Rhodes!"

The woman smiled as all the kids cheered, reuniting with her around the piano.

"So, Mr. Moneybags says to me, he says, April Rhodes you sing like an angel and make love like a tiger. But the old ball and chain's got your number. So I'm afraid I got to set you loose. So you know what he did? He bought me an island!" Haley raised her eyebrow, as Sam chuckled at her. "That's right. I own my own island in the Caribbean called Santa Abrilrodeo. It's not war-torn or filled with landslides or got destitute locals in it. Just me and my manservant Kadeem. With long, sensuous nights full of home-brewed poi and intimate massage..."

"Okay, thank you, April, for that... Wonderful lesson in female empowerment." Mr. Schue interjected, before she could expand on her story.

"Amen!" April replied.

"Amen, but why are we all holding these plastic champagne flutes?" Haley asked.

'Cause we are about to pop the cork with some bubbly. But don't worry, this Spumante is virgin." She said, turning to Unique. "Probably like you will be for a long time. Anyways... Will and I want you to raise your glass to celebrate the glee club by singing hands down the best song New Directions ever did."

"Wait a second, the New Directions never sang Raise Your Glass. The Warblers did that." Blaine corrected her.

"I was wondering why it didn't annoy me every time I heard it in my head. I always have had a soft spot in my heart for you prep school boys. Well... Honk! Hit it, boys."

{RAISE YOUR GLASS-SUNG BY APRIL RHODES & THE NEW DIRECTIONS}

----

Haley walked down the hallway chatting with Quinn about Yale and her new boyfriend.

"So his name's Biff Mckintosh? Like the apple?" Haley asked.

"Yes, his family owns the brand." Quinn nodded.

"Very unprecedented name...out of the ordinary." Haley commented. "Please tell me he isn't all rich and arrogant, and an ass...and.." Before she could continue rambling, Santana and Britt approached them.

"What's up, what did you do?" Quinn asked.

"Well...nothing yet. I do have an idea." Santana laughed.

{TOXIC-SUNG BY QUINN FABRAY, HALEY ALDRIN, SANTANA LOPEZ, & BRITTANY S. PIERCE}

Throughout the song, Haley sent Biff glares of disapproval, as she also saw Sam smirking at her. She shrugged at him, as he sent her two thumbs up.

The girls smiled after their performance, as everyone cheered.

"That is what I'm talking about, kiddos!" April spoke up, as she looked at Biff.

"What did you think, Mr. Preppy McDimplebutt?"

"Oh, I thought it was, hum, very energetic." Biff said.

"Dude, you were texting the whole time." Mike commented.

"Oh, how funny. I didn't even notice." Haley said sarcastically, as Kitty and Puck scoffed at Biff's behavior. "He definitely has little attention span." Haley continued.

"Yeah, well he's very busy. He's, hum, president of a... Of a secret society, and also captain of the water polo team." Quinn defended him.

"You know, that was the sexiest thing I've ever seen you do, or wear, in that matter." Sam smirked, as he came up behind Haley, pressing a kiss to her neck.

"Oh, really?" Haley laughed as she turned around in his arms, pressing a kiss to his lips. "Well, thank you, at least someone actually has an attention span."

"I couldn't take your eyes off you, it was too hard not to." Sam muttered as they walked out of the room together.

----

Haley, Santana, Puck, Mike and Artie had gone to Breadstix to eat together and catch up on everything they'd missed.

"It sucks that I missed the proposal." Puck pointed out.

"Oh well, you'll be there for the wedding." Haley said.

"Yeah, but where can you find hot chicks. There must've been tons in Hawaii." He commented, as she rolled her eyes.

"Mostly hot surfer dudes. Sugar thought they were Hawaii's number one export." Haley replied.

"Hey, guys. Come here. Yeah, you. Come on." Biff called as the group slowly exchanged glances. They decided to walk over anyways, despite Quinn looking embarrassed.

"Hi. Santana Lopez." Santana said introducing herself. "Word on the street is that you're old money. I'm a lesbian, but I'm totally into that."

"Haley Aldrin. Quinn's best friend since Kindergarten." Haley introduced herself as well. "Quinn got pretty lucky." She commented as Quinn nudged her.

"Mike Chang, Asian dancer." Mike said.

"And I'm Artie Abrams. I may look like a dweeb in a wheelchair, but my girlfriend's a cheerleader." Artie said, finishing the introductions.

"So, what about Quinn? How would you describe her in one sentence?" Biff asked.

"Oh, she's constantly surprising you." Haley said sarcastically, as Quinn looked down at her lap. She knew that Haley didn't approve.

"Yeha, like, one year, she showed up to school in the fall and decided she wanted to be a skank. She dyed her hair pink, got a Ryan Seacrest tattoo, and then lit a purple piano on fire." Mike added.

"Hold on one second. Piano?" Biff asked, as Quinn fake laughed, turning him to face her.

"They're-They're messing with you. Honey, I forgot my purse in the car, and I'd really love my lipstick and some lady things."

"Oh, absolutely. I'll go get it for you, sweetheart. No worries."

Mike and Santana got out to allow Biff to slide out. As soon as they were gone, the group leaned in closer to Quinn.

"What the hell was that?" Puck demanded.

"I am trying to present myself in a particular way. Biff's family is Philadelphia Main Line society, and if I get in with that, my life is set." Quinn explained.

"Oh, you never learn." Haley scoffed.

"How do you cover up the tattoo you know?" Santana asked. "Like, what? Magic?"

"I pay my roommate to apply three coats of cover-up makeup to my lower back before I see him." Quinn said.

"Does he know about us? About Beth?" Puck asked.

"I will tell him everything when I'm ready." Quinn said.

"You know, you don't have to hide your true self, to impress another jerk." Haley added.

The group all stopped talking when Biff arrived back at the table.

----

"Alright, everybody, I wish I could say that this week isn't about competing against each other, but time for one last diva-off! And apparently, the only song we can sing in a diva-off is Defying Gravity." Mr. Schue said, as Rachel, Mercedes, and Kurt stood in the front refusing to look at each other. Kurt was clearly unimpressed.

"Wait. So we have to listen to Kurt shred that note again?" Santana asked.

"For the millionth time, I did it on purpose." He defended himself, as Haley nodded. "It's true, I was with him when he decided to butcher the note on purpose."

"And after we're done singing the song, there will be a secret ballot where you guys can finally answer the age-old question: Who is the true star of the glee club, me or Mercedes?" Rachel explained.

Everyone clapped after the group performed.

"Bravo! The song should be on Broadway!" April called out.

"Arlight, let's stop playing around. It's time to vote." Mercedes said.

"Actually, let's just take the beat and... And just enjoy how amazing those performances were. We'll sleep on it and vote tomorrow. But today, right now, you are all winners." Mr. Schue said.

----

"Okay, guys, we're having our secret ballot at the end of class, but before we get to that, Puckerman has asked to do a number." Mr. Schue announced.

"Actually, Mr. Shue, I was hoping for this number that..."

"Hold up, hold up, Private Puckerman. I'm gonna let you finish, but first, I would like to uphold the tradition of hijacking this glee club and making everyone sit through what is basically an intervention." Santana interjected.

"Mr. Schue, you said that we could redo some of our favorite numbers, right?" Mr. Schue nodded, as Santana continued. "Well then I want to do a dance duet with Brittany."

Brittany smiled and shook her head, making Santana smile. "Hit it." Santana called, as the band began to play Valerie.

After they were finished, Santana turned to Brittany. "See? This is who you are. This is what happens when you don't think about it."

"Well, i wouldn't want to follow that number, but, hu... If you are still up for it, Puck."

"Well, you know what, for our number, I think we should move to the auditorium." Puck said, as everyone moved to the auditorium.

{KEEP HOLDING ON}

Everyone left after the song to let Puck and Quinn alone to talk.

----

"Alright, everybody! No more drama. Time to vote for either Rachel or Mercedes." Mr. Schue said.

"Excuse me, Schuester. Before we cast another pointless vote in a meaningless contest that has absolutely no practical ramifications whatsoever, I would like to say some words about my good friend Rachel Berry." Santana interjected, standing up, causing Rachel to perk up.

"Rachel Berry is the most horrible human being on the planet." Santana began, as Haley nodded, discreetly.

"What?" Rachel exclaimed, shocked.

"Can it, troll."

"Santana." Mr. Schue, warned, as Santana kept talking.

"You have sold half the people in this room down the river more times than I can count so that you can get a solo or the lead in a musical, and I'm pretty sure that you don't know the names of the other half of the people."

"That's not true." Protested Rachel.

"Alright, what's his name?" Santana pointed at Ryder, causing Rachel to hesitate.

"Rick." She said, as Haley rolled her eyes.

"Exactly. Thank you." Santana said, as Ryder mouthed his name to Rachel. "See, you've all met Rachel, okay? But I've... I live with her. Let me tell you what it's like to share a bathroom with this stubby, undergrown little cretin. Someone in that apartment shaves their face and leaves their stubble in the sink, and we all know it ain't Kurt, so do the math."

"That's a lie." Rachel said.

"You know what else is a lie? When you won Prom Queen."

"What?" Rachel asked, shocked, as Haley and Quinn looked down.

"Yeha, that's right. You didn't win, okay? Everybody just felt really bad for you, and the three people that you hate most in this world, Quinn, Haley, and I, stuffed the ballot box so that you would win."

"You're so cruel, Santana. I mean, you're only doing this to me because I'm the lead of Funny Girl and you're just the lowly understudy. You want to make me feel bad because I'm better than you. And you're an awful person." Rachel retorted.

"Oh, hell no, hold the phone." Haley said standing up. "Rachel, do you really know what an understudy does?" She asked, as everyone looked at her. "Okay, an understudy is merely there on days when you are sick or are unable to perform. Santana isn't stealing your spotlight Rachel, you have the spotlight every show. Santana's part still matters, but she won't be hogging your space... And in fact, no one is better than anyone. So don't say you are better than her. You are both wonderfully gifted. No one is better than the other ever. It is not a 'who is better' competition. I don't want to hear any more bullshit fighting from either of you. To be frank, everyone is sick of it. I'm sick of it. It's like two year olds in a bullfighting ring. It is childish, unreasonable, immature and stupid. So can it, pull yourselves together, apologize, and work it out!" Haley yelled, annoyed before marching out of the room.

Rachel marched out the other direction, soon after.

"Oh! I feel so much better! Let's vote." Santana said, unbothered by everything.

-----

Sam went running after Haley, only to find her sitting in the auditorium wiping the tears that had fallen.

"Oh Hay." He said, bringing her into a hug, as she continued to break down.

"I'm so sick of their bullcrap, they have zero remorse for each other." Haley sniffled. "I know Finn would have done something about this nonsense if he was here."

"He definitely would have." Sam chuckled.

"I just really miss him." Haley said.

"We all do, baby. We all do." Sam sighed.

----

After the group had written down their votes on their ballots, they handed them to Mr. Schue. "Okay, that's everybody." He said as Rachel and Mercedes walked back into the room.

"So, hum, sorry about that outburst earlier. Mercedes and I have been talking." Rachel began.

"And we both realize that asking you guys to vote for who's more talented is just... It's completely ridiculous, unproductive and narcissistic. I mean, how could we ask you guys to choose between two beautiful queen divas?" Mercedes asked.

"Well, funny enough, they did vote and they did choose. And guess what? You're both equally talented in their eyes. And mine." Mr. Schue said, as everyone clapped, and Rachel and Mercedes exchanged a hug.

"Excuse me, excuse me. I'd like to apologize. It's not hte first time I've raised someone's hopes and then left them on the rocky shores of disappointemnt and regret. Just ask all of my A.A. sponsors." April said, as she walked into the room.

"April? We just want to spend the rest of the week singing in peace."

"But what I did do was use the last few hours of my NetJets account to bring someone whose infectious happiness surely will make the next few days that much brighter. Ladies and gentlemen." April said pointing towards the door, as Holly Holiday slid into the room. Everyone clapped and cheered.

"Hola clase. April, thank you for buttering the floor for me. You know I like to make an entrance."

"Wait, I'm-I'm sorry. How do you two know each other?" Mr. Schue asked.

"Oh, because there's a whole Facebook page for people who were guests of Glee Club. I'm on it, April..."

"Blaine's brother, Rachel's mom, that Mexican guy."

"Holly... This is amazing. Where have you been?"

"OH, I've been everywhere. I quit being a substitute teacher because I couldn't stand being tied down. I like teaching a room full of kids if I know I'm never gonna see them again, but then, if you're any good at it, they keep asking you back, which kind of defeats the purpose. So, I started my trademark Holly Holiday Teachin' Pop-Ups. I just show up at a classroom unannounced, teach a lesson and get the hell out of there. But when I heard Glee Club was ending, I ripped off my Pol Pot uniform, hopped on that first flight out of Buenos Aires and came to pay my respects."

"Hu, Holly, you know that we're singing our favorite Glee Club songs we've already sung before." Rachel pointed out.

"That's a terrible idea!" Holly said.

"Listen, that might be fine for you nerds, but when Holly Holiday is in town, this hot bitch is not looking in the rear view mirror; she's looking forward. Hit it!"

{HAPPY}

----

The original group had been summoned by Mr. Schue to the auditorium. All of them reunited and stood by Finn's plaque.

Haley teared up as she looked up at it's new place. Quinn slipped her arm around her as Haley held onto Santana, who linked pinkies with Brittany.

"I want to show you guys something. All of you that were together from the very beginning when the glee club was just a dream. Their new and final resting places. For as long as McKinley's around, all the students who travel through this auditorium are gonna see these." Mr. Schue said.

"They won't have any idea who they are." Haley muttered, as she wiped her tears.

"You know what? This is crazy. Because I could really give two poops about this place, but this is really getting to me." Santana added.

"I now. Why is that?" Quinn asked, as Haley leaned her head on her on the blonde's shoulder.

"We were all raised by different parents. But we grew up together in the glee club. It's a part of all of us. Of course you're sad about it." Mr. Schue said.

"I don't know, Mr. Schue. With this and Finn, it's kind of hard to believe that anything lasts.." Mike mumbled.

"I don't have any more pep talks. I just have you guys. And the memory of the people on this wall. My friends. I mean, we share this special bond. We're the only ones in the world who know what the glee club meant to us. What it felt like to sing together. To be... To be together. And what it feels like to say goodbye to it."

There were silent crying and sniffling heard from around the group, as Mr. Schue continued. "I didn't come here to cheer you up. Just to thank you. To thank you for going on this ride with me. All right, come on. We've still a few days until, hum, Sue shuts the lights out on the choir room, so... Let's make the most of them..."

Everyone cried quietly as they all huddled up to each other, hoping that they could hold onto the last few minutes as well. Haley didn't want to see the bond be broken.

••••

I'm definitely not crying *wipes her eyes as she's posting and writing this.