It's been a couple years since Erin passed away it was hard at first dealing with the grief while raising two newborns. Luckily I wasn't all alone, I had help from Hank which was great since he still got to see his grandkids since Erin died.

The boys are 4 years old now they are walking and talking. Although it can be hard to understand them sometimes. They are going to be starting school in a few days.

They both are so much like her in certain ways. That at first it did make it harder to love them because whenever I looked at them I saw her.

But when I thought about I realized how lucky am I that although I lost erin but she gave me those two boys to raise. They are like her in so many ways that it just reminds me of all the good times erin and I spent together.

I can't believe that the twins are old enough to be in preschool, it feels like just yesterday they were born. They have grown up so much that I wish Erin was here to see them. For her to see them talking, and what kind of personalities they have. I wish she could see them here in person.

I know that people always say that your loved one that died is always with you in your heart and memories that you shared but sometimes I don't believe that. I feel so alone at times. It hard because the boys don't have any memories with her, they will only know what I tell them, or what hank an the rest of the team tell them.

There are times where they'll come across a picture of Erin and I or a picture of the whole team. They'll ask me questions about her, they aren't usually hard. They are usually questions like where is mommy, why can't she be here. I dread the day that they start to ask questions like what was she like, why did she die, and the one question I know that they will ask one day is if I'll ever fall in love with someone else.

And the answer to that last question would be no. I don't think I could ever fully love someone that was not Erin. She was different than all the girls I dated before she brought out the best in myself and i couldn't want someone else to raise the boys when she lost that opportunity too. I am happy with the three us being a family. I don't think I will need a woman to prove that.

When they start to get older I know that they will want me to find love again but erin was the whole package and I had my one great love with her and no one will replace that. My main priorities are raising the boys the best that I can and to also be there for hank.

I have spent the last few years still working for hank but I have taken a step back recently so that I can spend more time with the boys.

I don't want to put myself at such a high risk of getting killed when they have already lost their mother. I don't want them to lose their father.

*

I am not gonna lie I did forget about this book for a while and I wanted to finish it because I loved the show. I hope you enjoy the end. It's not the happy ending you probably wanted.

Thank you for reading the book I truly appreciate and I hope to write more books in the future. *